- Aug 29, 2012
I lost my dad 2 yrs ago in a car accident, he was only 58. My life has never been the same.
I lost mine at 22 as well, and boy has it been a struggle in my life. I got married last September, and while it was tough, DisneyFairytale was right - I felt like he was there with me, smiling down on all of us. We even displayed a framed picture of him at the wedding - it got our guests talking and telling stories about him, which made it feel like he was even more present.I was in a similar situation as you are and very close in age to. I got married just months after he died. My fiancé in fact met my dad days before his passing. I will tell you though, the day you get married, you will still have an incredible day because you will be able to feel your dad present, and you will feel how proud he is of your decision. It will be a bitter sweet feeling, but you will be proud and at peace.
So sorry for your loss! What blessing the amount of time you had together! Your mom sounds like such a strong woman, it's wonderful that you have the time to travel monthly to visit! Have you thought about contacting the Office on Aging in your moms county? They mave have services to offer her to stay in her home or info on good assited living in her area.I think this would be a great place for me. Last year I lost my dad to Alzheimer's/kidney failure at age 90. He had a good long life, full of love, family and hard work. I miss him terribly. I am 60 yrs old and had my father a very long time. I am very blessed in that I had so long with him.
But watching the ravages of Alzheimer's is torment. I hated what it did to my once vibrant, strong father. He got so thin and weakened and could not make sentences anymore. We were blessed that he still remembered us, his family and friends, but that was starting to go at the end. And he just did not look like my dad anymore, if that makes sense. The gauntness of his face changed the way he looked and I hardly recognized him the last month.
He lived his last three months in a convalescent hospital and I wished so badly that he could have been home with my mom. But there was no way she could care for him and the people at the hospital were angels. They truly were heaven sent. We liked them a lot and they liked my father. They treated him with respect and dignity and cared for him as my mom was unable to.
I know many people lose their parents to this disease and other diseases and ways as well, and as I said, I feel very blessed to have had my father for so long. My mom is still with us, she will be 92 in two days, on the 5th. She has had a hard time of it, losing her partner of 70+ years. She has a lot of anxiety and she is alone now in the house. All of us, my two brothers and one sister take turns going to see her.
I take the train once a month to go stay with her for a week every month. It really helps her and we love her and want to be there for her. The train is relaxing and can calm me when the time at my mom's has been a little stressful and anxious. The trip home on the rocking train takes a day and a half and I get some time to myself to calm and regroup. It does relax me after dealing with my mom's stress and sadness.
She is on some medication to calm her from panic attacks now and she has not been driving for a few weeks and she needs to start to get out and go back to church and do her volunteer work and shop and all that. She is really a great driver still and she used to get around so well. This has taken the wind out her sails, as is to be expected. We hope that she will be able to calm down enough from the panic attacks to drive again and get out of the house so she can stay there. Otherwise we may have to look into assisted care for her...And she does NOT want that. She wants to stay in her home as long as she can. We hope that she can.
In the meantime I will continue to make my trips to see her for a week each month. It does take me away from my DH and kittys , but it is a week that I have with my mom. It is good to spend that time with her, as who knows what can happen. She is in her 90's and we don't know how long we have with her, so it is great to be able to spend this time with her.
I wish all of you here that have lost your dad, peace and comfort. I know the empty feeling of not having them here in person with me any more. But I feel his presence every day and know that his spirit is shining! It gives me some peace to know that he lives on in spirit, even if he is not in his human body anymore.
God Bless you all....I am praying for you.
Me too. I lost my mother at 22. She missed my college graduation, wedding, the birth of my daughter, and many other major life events.Good thread idea!
I, unfortunately, belong to both groups. I lost my daddy in 2008 and lost my mom three years before. My daddy was an amazing father! So caring, encouraging, funny, super smart, not too strict but wouldn't let you get away with nonsense either. I know he'd be so proud that I'm pursing my doctorate now. He highly valued education. And he loved Disney!
to all who miss their dads.