Daughter only wants to play with boys

[frostedpink]

My daughter, in 1st grade, prefers to play with the boys at school. This includes recess and the before/after care.

I know she is young, but I want her to develop good friendships with girls who can become her best friends.

I'm concerned because I'm afraid she is going to miss out on this bonding time and soon the boys won't want to play with a girl anymore.

She loves to have the boys chase her and role play. She doesn't like to sit around and do hair, etc.

I'm struggling between trying to guide her and yet let her be her own person.

Do you think I should keep encouraging her to play with the girls, or just relax and let it go?

 

[ashley0139]

Dear god do not pressure her to play with girls. Why would you think that was the right thing to do? Let her be friends with who she wants to be friends with. Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she has to be a girly girl. Honestly thought society was getting past this.

 

[Disneylover99]

My daughter, in 1st grade, prefers to play with the boys at school. This includes recess and the before/after care.

I know she is young, but I want her to develop good friendships with girls who can become her best friends.

I'm concerned because I'm afraid she is going to miss out on this bonding time and soon the boys won't want to play with a girl anymore.

She loves to have the boys chase her and role play. She doesn't like to sit around and do hair, etc.

I'm struggling between trying to guide her and yet let her be her own person.

Do you think I should keep pressuring her to play with the girls, or just relax and let it go?

Let it go.

 

[wenrob]

Let her be.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Let it go. She isn't missing bonding time. When/if she meets a friend she wants to bond with, she will, whether it's a girl or boy. She would be more damaged from her mom forcing her to hang out with girls she doesn't want to, pretending to be something she's not than she would be from not having a female BFF at 6/7 years old.

 

[cjbcam]

My one DD loves to play with the boys. They do more things that interest her. Her sisters are girly girls that only have girls as friends. I think that she is more rounded.
Don't get me wrong though she won't let me cut her waist long hair shorter to be more manageable when she is at gymnastics. But when all the boys in her grade got together to take a picture they wanted her and only her (no other girls) in the halloween picture.
She is a lot tougher than her sisters. I don't know if this is because of her always playing with the boys or if it's just her.
I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[kimblebee]

I seriously was turning up my nose reading the OP. I grew up playing with boys, trucks and street hockey and all. I still was friends with girls but much preferred boys. Still do LOL

Do NOT push her to be friends with girls. She'll do what she wants to do, whether you approve or not..

 

[sequoia 14]

I was your daughter. I prefered to play with the boys in elem because I loved to play sports and to be outside. Even through high school i had more male friends than female ones. Looking back I think it was a blessing. The boys were more direct and gave great dating tips. They also looked out for me. As i got older the male friends faded away and they were replaced by female ones. In fact, i just went out to lunch with my best female friend from high school and our kids.

My mom was anxious too for me as a child. She would set up barbie play dates with a neighbor girl who i barely knew and would insist that I wear dresses to church. I didnt need those things. I was comfortable with who I was--a tomboy. I grew up (into I think) a seemingly well adjusted adult who loves pedicures and dressing up.

But dont beat yourself up about your feelings. You love your daughter and it is only natural that you want to protect her. Trust though that she will make the right decisions for her and just enjoy her for who she is. Pressure will only cause her to rebel and/or question herself.

 

[sonnyjane]

Another one asking you to please, please leave it alone. At her age I was running around the playground playing Ninja Turtles with the boys. I'm in my 30's now and can make friendships with anyone easily, male or female.

What's the more important lesson to teach your child - to follow your instincts and form friendships with those that bring you joy, or to conform with what others might want you to do against your wishes?

 

[minnie mum]

My daughter, in 1st grade, prefers to play with the boys at school. This includes recess and the before/after care.

I know she is young, but I want her to develop good friendships with girls who can become her best friends.

I'm concerned because I'm afraid she is going to miss out on this bonding time and soon the boys won't want to play with a girl anymore.

She loves to have the boys chase her and role play. She doesn't like to sit around and do hair, etc.

I'm struggling between trying to guide her and yet let her be her own person.

Do you think I should keep encouraging her to play with the girls, or just relax and let it go?

What makes you think that the beginning of the first grade is the only time in a person's life that they can make friends with their peers? Nonsense. Let the girl be. When my older daughter was that age, she was what we called a tomboy. She much preferred playing with the boys and doing sports than playing with dolls and fussing with clothes and hair. But that didn't mean that by the end of the year she hadn't also become friends with several of the girls in her class. Let her make her own friends at her own pace.

 

[powellrj]

I grew up in a neighborhood of all boys so that was who I played with. While the idea of lifelong friends is nice, its not something you can force and will happen on its own if its meant to be.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Definitely let her play with the boys. Maybe she just hasn't found any girls at school that she wants to be friends with. And remember that people can develop close friendships at all stages in life. When she meets girls that she clicks with, then she will have new friends. I had several close friends in elementary and middle school. We're Facebook friends now, but that's about it. I didn't develop my closest female friendships until I was in high school. I drifted away from my childhood friends and ended up in a group of girls that I really felt I belong with. And I've continued to make friends. A woman I started working with 8 years ago is now one of my closest friends. We have a lot in common and share the same sense of humor. I'm sure we would have become friends earlier in life if we had met years ago.

I wouldn't try to push your DD into making certain friends now. Let her choose. As she gets older, she will make lots of new friends (both male and female) along the way.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Let it go.

 

[Minnesota!]

Agree with all PP. Do NOT force your daughter to be friends with girls. It will come. I have always gotten along with boys better. I have two girlfriends, and a large group of male friends.

 

[Bec3b1g]

My dd12 is a bit of a tomboy. She's always been that way. I think it's because she has 3 older brothers. I did enroll her in ballet because that was always my dream. She was the little girl in the tutu running laps around the room with wild hair while the other girls were prancing about in front of the mirrors with their perfect buns. Anyways, some little girls gravitate towards boys and boy activities. I wouldn't worry about it. Dd12 is now very social with girls.

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[meowser]

Let it go. Why would you try to push her to be someone she's not?

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Agree. I had a lot of interest in boy things when I was a kid. It probably has a good bit to do with me ending up in a STEM field.

Don't end up squashing potential before it has the opportunity to grow or not because of your hang ups.

Not to mention her best friend in first grade probably isn't going to be a best friend for life.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Let it go!
I was your daughter, all the way through HS my 2 best friends were boys. I skipped a lot of girl drama and the mind games. Boys are pretty straight forward people which I love.
My daughter has 3 other girls in her class and one boy. I hate it!! They are so darn catty and mean. Just today they were all chatty in a circle and shut DD out. So of course she was in tears this morning.
Enjoy that if you can skip it!
And FYI all those friends I had in HS, I talk to none. 415 kids in my graduating class and seriously, I speak to zero. But my closest and dearest friends are all girls now. I still get along with boys better but the girls I'm friends will are all like me, we are like minded individuals.

And my absolute BFF, we met when we were 18 and all ready out of school.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I was the only girl out of 13 grandkids. We were a very close family and spent a lot of time together. I loved playing with the boys (and still do). Don't do the girl drama, just don't get it.