Daughter only wants to play with boys

[Planogirl]

I'll agree with everyone else. At that age there is no telling who she will be friends with as she grows older. Let her grow in her own way.

 

[Gracie09]

I have one daughter in first hat primarily plays with boys. The other daughter also in first primarily plays with girls. My first daughter had much less drama. Seriously let it go. Kids play with whomever they want

 

[tikkipoo]

DD17 has always and still hangs out mainly with boys. She has one close girl friend. All others are boys. As a previous poster said, she did not want to deal with the drama caused by some of these girls. It seemed to work out well for her. I sometimes feel like she might have missed out on some of the girly things like sleepovers and parties. But she continues to lean toward the boys. Can't change who they are and only backfires if you try.

 

[DisneyOma]

Why does she have to hang out with the girls? What if she's gay, what if she's transexual - are you going to torment her with stereotypical identity beliefs? As a parent, you need to support her, not force her to be who you think she should be.

 

[Sabeking]

My DD played with only boys for a long time. I found that her personality was more suited for boys in that she wasn't really into girl drama. Once some of the boys figured out she was a girl and had cooties it was all over!lol! She eventually started playing with the girls and has lots of friendships. I will say though that she still tends to relate to boys better because she is more of a logical thinker and less emotional.

As parents of younger kids it's easy to worry about the small things, as they get older I look back and think, did I really worry about that? I think it's natural because we want our kids to have the best experience possible. Your little girl will be fine and make many wonderful girl friendships along the way. Good luck!

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

Throughout my life, the vast majority of my friends have been male, and I've been perfectly fine. Make like Elsa and let it go.

 

[Southernmiss]

Op, don't create worries for yourself. This is such a GREAT thing for you and dd. No girl drama, exercise for your dd and she wears herself out playing!

We had our daughter after 3 boys. She has always been more comfortable with boys. Her friend since birth is a boy who grew up with sister's.

Our13 year old dd is so well rounded, down to earth, not into drama and I don't have to spend a lot keeping up with girlie wants.

She is a soccer goal keeper, plays volleyball. Eats all she wants and stays thin. No worrying about her weight for me!

Dd also has friends who are girls. But no teen drama! Dd does wear a dress and is learning about clothes, but hasnt asked about makeup yet.

Dd hung out at with 2 guys and another girl the other evening playing video games and had the.best.time.ever according to her. It was fun for me to hear about it all and hear the pure joy in her voice.

Let it gooooo!!

You are soo lucky!

 

[lovin'fl]

I'd let it be what it is. I have twin DDs-16 and when they were little one of them also liked to play with boys. Her BF was a boy and she went for sleepovers at his house. She liked to play football and with trucks and was into superheros and was not into doing hair/makeup or playing with dolls. She also liked to dress in boy clothes/shoes and I allowed that too. Then, when they were 8 we moved to another state and the boys at their new school did not have interest in welcoming in DD. So she hung with her twin and followed her lead which was to hang out with girls. I don't know what would have happened if we didn't move...if the boys would have eventually cut her out, but I don't think so.

 

[cabanafrau]

She knows what works for her, butt out. She is her own independent being, not a product you're putting out in the marketplace.

 

[luvsJack]

Dd was the same way. Can't tell you how many laser tag birthday parties she went to and would be the only girl.

In second grade along came her bff. And they both preferred playing with boys. They are now 17 and still bffs and closer than many sisters. And some of those boys are still close friends too.

Let her be.

 

[Mizzoufan]

She's fine!

 

[anniemae]

Let her be. You cannot control her life or dictate who she is friends with. My dd is a tomboy and only plays with boys and she is fine. Her best friend is a boy and she plays at recess with boys and eats lunch with the boys. They all kind of protect her since she is very tiny. I am puzzled as to why this is an issue for you, I would only be concerned if she was not making friends at all and was all by herself at recess and lunch. She sounds like she is having a ball and doing what she wants to do. Plus, boys are way less drama!

 

[NHdisneylover]

You are concerned about her missing out on bonding? I highly doubt she will bond with girls you push her to play with whom she is not really interested in being friends with!

People form bonds with others and all ages and over all kinds of things--she is forming bonds with some boys now and will form bonds, likely with boys and girls, in the future. I get the impression that you MAY be picturing bonds over styling hair and giggling about boys and the like, which may or may not ever happen (DD18 has never been that girl and likely never will be--simply not her personality, though she played with mostly girls in first grade and has about equal nubers of girl and boy friends now).

Please, let go of your ideas of who she should be and let her be who she is and love her for that wonderful, unique personality which is all her---including who she chooses as friends.

 

[nugov2]

Another one who agrees with what is being said. My dd is one who plays with boys. Even in 5th grade she still will. At field days most girls are dancing at the dj booth and my dd is playing sharks and minnows with the boys. She still has lots of friends who are girls, but is strong enough to not follow them around pretending to enjoy what they enjoy when she can be doing what she enjoys. I am glad for that.

I hung out with a lot of boys all the way through college. I still have plenty of close and healthy relationships with women. You have nothing to worry about.

 

[sharona]

I'm going to have to go against the crowd here and say that OP shouldn't just let it go. My DD has only boy cousins and was so used to playing with boys that this continued the first few years at school. All of her play dates and friends at school were boys. She wasn't interested in princess stuff or dolls or dancing school... Like OP, I was concerned that she would be left out when the kids reached the age where boys and girls separate and stop playing together. While I didn't try to change who she was playing with at school or at the park, I did sign her up for Girl Scouts in order for her to also make friends with some of the girls in her grade. I'm so glad that I did this. DD made many nice friends among her scout troop and that has carried over into school and extra curricular activities. Around 3rd or 4th grade it starts with the girls and boys only birthday parties and activities and sports get more and more segregated. Now that they are in middle school it's definitely boys on one side of the room and girls on the other!

 

[morgan98]

I also think that there is nothing wrong with the OP's daughter preferring to hang out with boys.

To be honest with you, I also hung out more with boys or mixed groups when I was young. I have never and still do not like hanging out with a group of women. Now I do have girlfriends here and there, more or less one on one type of relationships. Different people are just comfortable in different types of social settings.

 

[fly girl]

OP, I know you've had some tough love responses and I'm trying not to hammer the message in any harder, but I'm with them.


I have a DD in 2nd grade that primarily played with the boys too in K and 1st. Not going to lie, I was a little bummed at first when she didn't enjoy playing the same stuff I did with the girls at that age. But then I stepped back and realized my feelings were completely selfish. Duh, she's happy! That's what truly matters.


This year she's mixing it up. Some days she's with the boys at lunch/recess, other days the girls. It all depends on what activity they're playing. And I have to admit, I can see why she plays with the boys more. Their activities sounds fun!


You can't force kids to play with each other, it doesnt work. Let her have fun and play with the kids she wants to. She's not missing anything, except a miserable time.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm going to have to go against the crowd here and say that OP shouldn't just let it go. My DD has only boy cousins and was so used to playing with boys that this continued the first few years at school. All of her play dates and friends at school were boys. She wasn't interested in princess stuff or dolls or dancing school... Like OP, I was concerned that she would be left out when the kids reached the age where boys and girls separate and stop playing together. While I didn't try to change who she was playing with at school or at the park, I did sign her up for Girl Scouts in order for her to also make friends with some of the girls in her grade. I'm so glad that I did this. DD made many nice friends among her scout troop and that has carried over into school and extra curricular activities. Around 3rd or 4th grade it starts with the girls and boys only birthday parties and activities and sports get more and more segregated. Now that they are in middle school it's definitely boys on one side of the room and girls on the other!

Interesting perspective, but do you think she would not have made girl friends when the kids split like that had she not be in scouts? (not knocking Girl Scouts by the way, I love it).

DS was my kid whose friends were all of the opposite gender as a younger kid. He loved dancing and by second grade was at the studio 4 three nights a week (would have been more if we had had the time and money) and was usually the only boy in his classes and he just tended to hang out with and befriend girls from preschool onwards.
I remember my father in law demanding of him (when he was about 7) why all of his friends were girls. I cringed at the question and its tone but was delighted to find out that DS not only had an answer, but it was pretty perceptive: he explained that whenever a bunch of boys said they'd play knights they grabbed swords and started beating each other up with them but when the girls played knights they could spend hours running through the forest tailing long and interesting stories. He liked stories a lot and didn't really like beating people up.

Anyway, as he got older, he found more and more boys who also liked stories and other things he enjoyed and now at 16 nearly all of his friends are boys (he has one close female friend from his childhood years--we no longer live near her, but they keep in touch). He had no trouble finding and bonding with other boys who shared similar interests as he got older and the kids sorted themselves more by interest than just age and gender.

 

[sharona]

Interesting perspective, but do you think she would not have made girl friends when the kids split like that had she not be in scouts? (not knocking Girl Scouts by the way, I love it).

DS was my kid whose friends were all of the opposite gender as a younger kid. He loved dancing and by second grade was at the studio 4 three nights a week (would have been more if we had had the time and money) and was usually the only boy in his classes and he just tended to hang out with and befriend girls from preschool onwards.
I remember my father in law demanding of him (when he was about 7) why all of his friends were girls. I cringed at the question and its tone but was delighted to find out that DS not only had an answer, but it was pretty perceptive: he explained that whenever a bunch of boys said they'd play knights they grabbed swords and started beating each other up with them but when the girls played knights they could spend hours running through the forest tailing long and interesting stories. He liked stories a lot and didn't really like beating people up.

Anyway, as he got older, he found more and more boys who also liked stories and other things he enjoyed and now at 16 nearly all of his friends are boys (he has one close female friend from his childhood years--we no longer live near her, but they keep in touch). He had no trouble finding and bonding with other boys who shared similar interests as he got older and the kids sorted themselves more by interest than just age and gender.

I'm sure she would have but I also think it was easier for her already having gotten to know and become friends with many of the girls.

 

[alliecat523]

I always played with boys more than girls. To this day my BFF is a male. So much less drama. I have wonderful girl friends and spend time with them too.