Dateline NBC tonight is about my colleague killed by his wife

[Deb in IA]

Great questions, Annie. I wondered that too.

Also, when the case was still being investigated, there was a lot of talk about whether Phyllis brought the knife with her from her house in Iowa City to the apartment in Cedar Rapids. I think that was a key point that was not discussed. It would point to premeditation, and make a much stronger case for murder.

 

[DawnCt1]

Both daughters testified for the defense, saying that their dad's personality had changed and that he had a violent, explosive temper. But I think there were an equal number of people who could have testified that Dick Nelson never lost his temper, never got mad, and never even raised his voice while dealing with the stresses and problems at work. At least, I never saw that.

I have mixed feelings about the whole case. Yes, his behavior was really disgusting - blatantly having an affair with his secretary, not wanting to divorce his wife and not really wanting to marry the secretary either. Really, really slimy, unethical, distasteful. Especially for someone who prided himself on his strong religious roots - both his father and his daughter were Lutheran clergy.

But I felt Phyllis' behavior was very unsettling. Her repeated messages on his cell phone the night of the murder were very strange, and police officer's account of her affect as they were trying to save her husband's life was unusual.

I don't know why Dateline decided to show this story now. I do think the ending was rather abrupt, for as much as they built it up.

I dvr'd it last night and finally watched it this afternoon. Very interesting case. I did find the wife believable however. The daughters testifying for the defense as well as the long time friends who pointed out the change in personality, his anger and rage were quite believable. I can understand why someone wouldn't show that behavior at work. Some people, particularly in teaching and management thrive on stress and see it as part of the job. Additionally, it isn't "personal" and how they handle that stress makes them even more admirable. It was obvious to me that he could compartmentalize his life to be one person at work, another with his family and yet a third with his mistress and be seen by all of those parties in a different light. While the phone calls were strange, they weren't enraged, they were more pleading and desperate. There were no threats, no anger in them. I also felt that she was believable when she testified that he was enraged over his career. He took a sizable hit in the wallet and the punishment, girl friend's tranfer, a letter of reprimand, etc were enough to humiliate him in an area that he probably felt the most competent. While he and Mary Jo may have "joked" about his impotence that didn't really exist, I am wondering if he felt some emotional impotence after his very public chastisement at work and that was the excuse he decided would work with his wife. I think that 2nd degree manslaughter was an appropriate verdict.

 

[Deb in IA]

Actually, the fine for the inappropriate relationship with the secretary was kept very quiet. Nobody knew anything about it until after his death, when the entire story came out.

In retrospect, I do think the judge probably came up with the best sentence, given the evidence. As someone said, it is likely we will never know the entire story, since there were no other eyewitnesses and only the defendant is still alive. While Dick Nelson was certainly no saint, he didn't deserve to be killed either. And while Phyllis' actions could be understandable, she also deserved some punishment - after all, she did cause his death. So I think the voluntary manslaughter and the sentence of 10 years, which she served 3 1/2, plus the time served while awaiting trial, was appropriate for someone with no previous record, and probably unlikely to do this type of thing again.

The entire episode was a sordid mess, though. No one came out looking very good, in the end.

 

[DawnCt1]

Actually, the fine for the inappropriate relationship with the secretary was kept very quiet. Nobody knew anything about it until after his death, when the entire story came out.

In retrospect, I do think the judge probably came up with the best sentence, given the evidence. As someone said, it is likely we will never know the entire story, since there were no other eyewitnesses and only the defendant is still alive. While Dick Nelson was certainly no saint, he didn't deserve to be killed either. And while Phyllis' actions could be understandable, she also deserved some punishment - after all, she did cause his death. So I think the voluntary manslaughter and the sentence of 10 years, which she served 3 1/2, plus the time served while awaiting trial, was appropriate for someone with no previous record, and probably unlikely to do this type of thing again.

The entire episode was a sordid mess, though. No one came out looking very good, in the end.

On all of the above, we agree. Same is true for Cathy Manfredi; no matter what her behavior was or was not, she didn't deserve to die either. Dr. Manfredi received the maximum sentence for 1st degree manslaughter and served most of his sentence. I think he could have been paroled sooner because like Phyllis Nelson, they aren't a danger to society but they needed to be punished.