DAS how to tell the kids plus another qiuestion

[scooffer]

My DS7 has major sensory issues, along with Autism and ADHD. Standing in line for him is torture... we did not know this before our last trip, and honestly did not have a very positive time. Now that we know about the DAS and his possibility of qualifying for it, what do I tell him?

He has to come with me, and I will have his needs written down, as we don't generally talk about his Autism or name his ADHD (it causes him anxiety if he thinks he is different). So what if he doesn't get the DAS... how do we explain that to him.

If we tell him why we are going to GS, he will know that he did not get something that would help him, and likely have a severe meltdown, right there. But that would not be good for anyone.

Others, what have you told your kids??

Also, we are traveling with 12 in total, and really do not want to ask for a pass for 10 people. Can any of the members of our party count as his plus 5, meaning, one time he rides with us, next time he rides with his uncles family?

 

[OurBigTrip]

My DS7 has major sensory issues, along with Autism and ADHD. Standing in line for him is torture... we did not know this before our last trip, and honestly did not have a very positive time. Now that we know about the DAS and his possibility of qualifying for it, what do I tell him?

He has to come with me, and I will have his needs written down, as we don't generally talk about his Autism or name his ADHD (it causes him anxiety if he thinks he is different). So what if he doesn't get the DAS... how do we explain that to him.

If we tell him why we are going to GS, he will know that he did not get something that would help him, and likely have a severe meltdown, right there. But that would not be good for anyone.

Others, what have you told your kids??

Also, we are traveling with 12 in total, and really do not want to ask for a pass for 10 people. Can any of the members of our party count as his plus 5, meaning, one time he rides with us, next time he rides with his uncles family?

I can't give any advice on how to discuss it with him, but as for the five additional people on the DAS, he can take anyone on the ride with him. The additional guests on the DAS are not named.

 

[lanejudy]

I'm going to start at the end of your questions... if you get the standard max "6 guest" DAS -- that can be ANY six people, and a different six people for each ride. Other than your son, nobody else will be specifically named on the DAS or required to ride with him. I think it is probably a great idea to agree to having a DAS for 6 and alternating who gets to go with your DS -- assuming he's ok with changing up the group each time.

Now, at Guest Relations... you've mentioned traveling with a large group. There is absolutely no need for him to be immediately at your side while you speak with the CM at Guest Relations. Another adult can sit off to the side with him -- the CM will need to see him and eventually he will need to come close for his picture. But he does not need to be right there and overhear the conversation. Even with a written note, there could be some questions asked, so it may work best to have him off to the side with someone else while you explain and answer questions.

As to "what to tell" him, I think you know your son best. Will he accept that he has a card with his picture on it but everyone else doesn't get one? If he's cognitively aware of having differences pointed out, he likely will need some explanation about the DAS card. Since you are concerned about his reaction if he doesn't qualify for the DAS, then I would not tell him ahead. You can say you need to go talk to Guest Relations about your ticket, "could you sit off to the side and wait for me? Johnny can come too." Then after you get the card you can explain it will help him wait for the rides. I know that takes away some of the preparation -- but the other alternative is to prepare him for getting a DAS or not getting a DAS, and "practice" different scenarios with him. Also, the rest of your party will be going through standby lines, so he'll need some explanation around why he and so-and-so cousin are waiting out to ride later.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[jmartinez1895]

I agree with pp. Also, d you have to tell him the details on why you need to stop by GS. could you just tell hi that you need to ask a question about something. That way if you leave with the DAS you can tell him that is what you asked about, if they don't give you one then he will not know the difference.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'd probably discuss the DAS card with your child before you actually head out to Disney. Something like, 'you know how lines and noises really give you a headache (or whatever happens in a nice way)? On our first day I want to grab a card that'll help us skip that part so you don't have to worry about or get upset.'

I wouldn't really mention everyone doesn't get it or it's something because he's different. It sounds like he's aware enough to know he has an issue with lines and sensory stuff. I'd just play it as a positive that it's going to be fun and helpful.

 

[lanejudy]

... I'd just play it as a positive that it's going to be fun and helpful.

When in doubt, always play things in a positive light! Kids pick up on our nuances very easily. I've found with DD that as long as we approach things with a positive spin, we avoid so many meltdowns that potentially could have occurred.

 

[scooffer]

If he gets the card, I will certainly explain how its going to help him, he will go into major planning mode on how to use with with our FP+ and we will have a little tour guide on our hands!

Just really worried if he does not get it... I like the idea of him sitting aside, we are going to Epcot first, so hopefully it will be less crowded at GS there than at MK... since we are going the week before Easter.

 

[aaarcher86]

If he gets the card, I will certainly explain how its going to help him, he will go into major planning mode on how to use with with our FP+ and we will have a little tour guide on our hands!

Just really worried if he does not get it... I like the idea of him sitting aside, we are going to Epcot first, so hopefully it will be less crowded at GS there than at MK... since we are going the week before Easter.

From what you've explained in the first post, I don't see why he wouldn't. Just make sure to focus on why he has a difficult time in a standard line and not his diagnosis and you should be fine.

 

[SueM in MN]

From what you've explained in the first post, I don't see why he wouldn't. Just make sure to focus on why he has a difficult time in a standard line and not his diagnosis and you should be fine.

The biggest mistake people make is giving the diagnosis and not talking about the person's needs.

 

[Sefoti]

This is my concern too. I do not like talking about my daughter in front of her. Especially since they want me to explain WHY we need it vs what her diagnosis is. Explaining that she goes insane and has huge meltdowns and slams her head into the ground is not something I want to talk about with her sitting right there. I will definitely have her stay back with my husband after seeing this while I explain her needs and then she can come up for the picture.

 

[2tinkerbell]

This is my concern too. I do not like talking about my daughter in front of her. Especially since they want me to explain WHY we need it vs what her diagnosis is. Explaining that she goes insane and has huge meltdowns and slams her head into the ground is not something I want to talk about with her sitting right there. I will definitely have her stay back with my husband after seeing this while I explain her needs and then she can come up for the picture.

Why would you have to say exactly what your DD does if she has to stand in line? That isn't explaining her "needs" but is explaining her behavior. I wouldn't want to talk about that either.

With my DD she explained that she "gets frustrated and overwhelmed when people are in her bubble" and that "an alternative place to wait" was perfect for her. Before my DD learned to advocate for herself, I would explain the same things to others and model how to advocate.

Off topic, and I realize that this is my personal soapbox, and that not everyone feels this way: I feel that the way I approach my DD's disabilities reflects in how my DD accepts her disabilities. My DD's disabilities seem bigger when I focus on what she can't do rather than figure out a way that she can do it. My DD is my child and a person who happens to have disabilities. My DD is not a disability. Off my soapbox.

Edited to add: this was not intended to be snarky or to say others approach to their child and their disabilities is wrong, just my approach - learned through a ton of error

 

[aaarcher86]

This is my concern too. I do not like talking about my daughter in front of her. Especially since they want me to explain WHY we need it vs what her diagnosis is. Explaining that she goes insane and has huge meltdowns and slams her head into the ground is not something I want to talk about with her sitting right there. I will definitely have her stay back with my husband after seeing this while I explain her needs and then she can come up for the picture.

If it makes you feel more comfortable, you could write down what you'd like to say instead. That way the GR rep can read it, versus you explaining it out loud.

 

[Sefoti]

Ok I guess I am confused about what they want then. I thought that is what they are asking. Like why they can't wait in lines. Basically because she has SPD and has a hard time controlling herself and the urges she gets to be in constant motion. She gets overwhelmed and gets uncontrollable. Anyways I do not mind talking about it in general just in front of her. I do not treat her like she is any different than our son. She knows she has sensory issues and asks a lot if something is for her sensory play or sensory work. She thinks it makes her special. She gets to go to the play doctor and have special sensory toys to help her. My son also realizes and makes accommodations for her himself but it has never been asked or expected of him but he realizes that some things he would rather wait to do with her than without. I do not though in any way think of her as disabled. The things I love about her would not be there without her sensory issues. I am not sure I even understand the point you were getting at but I am 100% confident in how we have decided to approach my daughters issues as I am sure you are with yours.

 

[tinkerpea]

Ok I guess I am confused about what they want then. I thought that is what they are asking. Like why they can't wait in lines. Basically because she has SPD and has a hard time controlling herself and the urges she gets to be in constant motion. She gets overwhelmed and gets uncontrollable. Anyways I do not mind talking about it in general just in front of her. I do not treat her like she is any different than our son. She knows she has sensory issues and asks a lot if something is for her sensory play or sensory work. She thinks it makes her special. She gets to go to the play doctor and have special sensory toys to help her. My son also realizes and makes accommodations for her himself but it has never been asked or expected of him but he realizes that some things he would rather wait to do with her than without. I do not though in any way think of her as disabled. The things I love about her would not be there without her sensory issues. I am not sure I even understand the point you were getting at but I am 100% confident in how we have decided to approach my daughters issues as I am sure you are with yours.

Don't worry you are not doing anything wrong,

This is what they are asking at GS and I don't think the way you explain your daughters needs is wrong at all.
They are asking how it effects them and not the diagnosis so explaining what you just did above is just fine.

 

[jenineh]

Why would you have to say exactly what your DD does if she has to stand in line? That isn't explaining her "needs" but is explaining her behavior. I wouldn't want to talk about that either. With my DD she explained that she "gets frustrated and overwhelmed when people are in her bubble" and that "an alternative place to wait" was perfect for her. Before my DD learned to advocate for herself, I would explain the same things to others and model how to advocate. Off topic, and I realize that this is my personal soapbox, and that not everyone feels this way: I feel that the way I approach my DD's disabilities reflects in how my DD accepts her disabilities. My DD's disabilities seem bigger when I focus on what she can't do rather than figure out a way that she can do it. My DD is my child and a person who happens to have disabilities. My DD is not a disability. Off my soapbox. Edited to add: this was not intended to be snarky or to say others approach to their child and their disabilities is wrong, just my approach - learned through a ton of error

For what it's worth I love your soapbox views and it is the same way I parent my son with Asperger's. He is 15 now and accepts his diagnosis and will share it with anyone who wants to know about him. We have never hid it from him and have always talked openly with him about it. I also learned through a ton of error

 

[ttintagel]

I am not sure I even understand the point you were getting at

I guess what had me confused is that it sounded like you thought your only option in describing your daughter's needs was to literally use terms like "go insane." After your follow-up comment, it sounds like maybe that was an exaggeration?

 

[scooffer]

Thank you all again, I too do truly appreciate the ideas of discussing, opening with my son his limitations, and we do. We talk about his needs, his sensory limits, his figits, his weighted blankets, etc. We just don't actually label it, Austism, ADHD, ODD, etc... we are only 4 months into this journey of having his diagnosis, and his poor little life has been turned upside down and backwards... a new school, a town move, a new house, new friends, and now a plane ride and a family reunion! (bad timing for the reunion, but its been two years in planning!)

Sounds like when talking with GS, I just need to advocate his needs, and not his diagnosis, easy enough, hopefully. Last year, his troubles were the lines and the waits. He gets his mind on what ride he wants to do, gets there and sees 60 mins... and just panics. 60 mins is a lifetime to him. He loved legacy FP and planning what times we go where, and when we can pull the next one. I know he will love FP+ as well. But him knowing we can only choose 3 will certainly be an obstacle for him.

If he is granted the DAS, this will allow him to choose return times at the rides he really wants, and go do something else while he waits.... without perseverating on how long the wait really will be!

 

[Hoodie]

Thank you all again, I too do truly appreciate the ideas of discussing, opening with my son his limitations, and we do. We talk about his needs, his sensory limits, his figits, his weighted blankets, etc. We just don't actually label it, Austism, ADHD, ODD, etc... we are only 4 months into this journey of having his diagnosis, and his poor little life has been turned upside down and backwards... a new school, a town move, a new house, new friends, and now a plane ride and a family reunion! (bad timing for the reunion, but its been two years in planning!)

Sounds like when talking with GS, I just need to advocate his needs, and not his diagnosis, easy enough, hopefully. Last year, his troubles were the lines and the waits. He gets his mind on what ride he wants to do, gets there and sees 60 mins... and just panics. 60 mins is a lifetime to him. He loved legacy FP and planning what times we go where, and when we can pull the next one. I know he will love FP+ as well. But him knowing we can only choose 3 will certainly be an obstacle for him.

If he is granted the DAS, this will allow him to choose return times at the rides he really wants, and go do something else while he waits.... without perseverating on how long the wait really will be!

I hope it helps! My DS didn't like waiting, although we had no meltdowns over it, but the interactive lines (like TSM) were WAY too much for him. Something we discovered when we tried to hit it at rope drop (without a DAS). Even though we never stopped walking until Mr. Potato Head, he was almost in meltdown mode just from the overstimulation. We actually did better on the older rides with longer lines because there were no extras. GS looked at us weird when I told her I didn't care how long we waited, just so we didn't have to go through the "fun" line. She actually said "most kids LOVE that line!" Yeah, our kids are not "most kids." (to be fair, she was in training. I don't know how much experience she actually had with issuing DAS cards and kids with ASD to that point.)

My son likes to tell time too. The CM would give us a return time and we would tell him "OK, we can come back at XX time. You let us know when that is." He loved it. He liked that he could "tell" the rest of us that it was time to ride XX.

Also, if you think it's a ride that he will have to do the minute he sees it, you can send a member of the party up first to get the return time.

To be honest though, our touring plan was more helpful than the DAS. We only used it a couple of times over 2 days.

 

[stormer]

I had my son sit on the bench with my other DS. I just told them I needed to take care of something. He waited patiently for me. The only problem we had was the CM came out from behind the counter to take his picture before I had a chance to explain it to him. She didn't do anything wrong, I am sure she was trying to help by not making him walk over to her. It just rattled him that some stranger came to take his picture. You may just want to explain that someone may need to take his photo or ask the CM for time to explain it.

 

[Maytai]

I was at WDW March 16-27. It actually took us a couple of tries to get my ds13(twin2) picture taken. I didn't think he would mind getting his picture taken so when we asked him to for the card, he had a another major meltdown and refused. (The 1st meltdown happened in the parking lot.) He said that we were telling the whole world he was different. The CM allowed us to put my picture on the card but had his name on it. We had an issue at ToT where the CM wouldn't allow him to ride without me going on first, (we were doing rider switch and my dh always goes first) which we had done before, so another meltdown occurred because it wasn't the routine. After a couple of days, we went back to try to get another card with his own picture. We had to explain what had happened and that he wasn't allowed to ride without me. This time we asked the CM to pretend to take a picture of all the kids and "pick the best one". Of course she chose ds13(twin2) picture. Come to think of it now, I suppose we could have used my other ds13 (twin1) picture since he doesn't have any issues and wouldn't have cared. They are fraternal twins, but they look so much alike even us parents mix them up at times. We can tell with their voices, actions and reactions. It probably would have prevented some meltdowns but I didn't think of it at the time.

Just like a pp we don't use any words that may label my son negatively. I'd like to think that we live in a welcoming and understanding world, but reality is that when some people don't understand and hear words like autistic or ADHD etc, they think negatively about that child without even knowing them.

I'm so thankful for this forum for the tips and advice without the judgment.