Darn Elf Shoppe!!!!

[mumzie2three]

BTW, as afar as trying to get the kids his money back.... I dissagree with all that. I think this is an opportunity to teach your child about accepting gifts graciously. When someone gives you a gift, it is just that- a gift. If it breaks and you are able to get an exchange on your own -great. If not, you don't bother the purchaser of the gift with it. If the item was not good quality, then it was not good quality, but you are not entitled to a better gift of better quality. Their job is done, they GAVE you a gift. You don't make work for them out of it. Once the gift is in your hands it's YOUR item and YOUR problem. If you can not get an echange or your money back, then you don't look at it like you lost something, it was a GIFT you are not out any money. Your daughter still has the happiness of knowing a friend did something nice for her. I would be extremely insulted if I gave something to someone and they gave it back to me broken and said "here try to get your money back for this, it was crap". After it broke, you should have explained to your DD's that that is what happens with those typle of items, that is why you didn't want them to shop there, but it was nice for a friend to do something to make her happy, and she should write a thankyou note to him thanking him for his generousity. That it, leave it at that. It was a gift. Say thank you. It's over. Gifts shoudl not be treated as all business. My husbands family is notorious for being ungracious gift receivers at Christmas. They all look at it like they have something coming to them, and if it is is not what they wanted, they are "out". One year I went across town to buy my neice an expensive swaetshirt that was what all the kids in this area were wearing. She opened it, handed it to her mother with a crappy look on her face. Then her mother comes up to me, and starts berating me with, "Where is this store?" "Is there one nearby?" "Do you have the gift receipt?" "She already has something with a hood, so she would rather soemthing different" Like it is all business and they are out a gift or something. I ended up having to do the returning for them as the store was near me. Made me never want to give her anything again, now I give her a target GC and that is it. I'm to busy for their ungratefulness. Meanwhile, they think they are the worlds best gift givers, because we always accept their gifts graciously and just hit goodwill the next day.

First, paragraphs help.
Second, I do wish that I hadn't mentioned a refund to the teacher. I honestly thought they, meaning the school/PTO, could get DD a new item. I didn't think the teacher would give the broken item back to the student. She could've sent the item back home with DD or emailed me about it. Hence my concern that I now look like a jerk. And I certainly don't expect another gift for my DD. Nor should she.
Third, my DD is 8. As I said, she probably would have told her friend "The gift broke." even if I hadn't sent it back to school. I explained to her that it was very nice of her friend to get her a gift and she is planning on getting him one. I think at the heart of this I am opposed to schools encouraging blind consumerism. Purchases made in haste and of poor quality is not teaching kids the spirit of giving. I'd rather see them given time to make cards/gifts for their loved ones instead of items 'Made in China' that fall apart if you try to use them.

 

[Mkrop]

Purchases made in haste

I think you may need to volunteer. These purchases from what I have seen are not made in haste. These children put A LOT of thought in what to get the people they are buying for. Some need guidance but most have ideas and will not be talked out of them, they are determined that you or whoever they are buying for will love their gifts and they really care about them.

At least this is what I witness in the 5 years I have been helping the kids.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Tomorrow morning is DS's "Santa's secret shopper" but I've been doing it for years since DD#1 was in elementary. They alternate between the 4 elementary schools for a location. It is only 4 hours so it can be very crowded. DS has a basketball game tomorrow at 11:05 so I think we'll need to go right at 9AM.
Yes I have a lot of keychains and small things that no one else will ever see, like "Mom" plaques, but it's OK. I don't know how long my parents or in-laws keep their things. DS likes to get little tools for his dad and always gets something for the dog.
I can tell you that I have a paperclip holder at work that says "my teacher has class" that DD#2 got me. When kids have asked I told them my DD got it at Santa's secret shopper, and my students (12th graders) all remember their own experiences with it fondly--they'll often tell me their parents (usually mom) still have something they bought there.
Robin M.

 

[RUDisney]

These purchases from what I have seen are not made in haste. These children put A LOT of thought in what to get the people they are buying for. Some need guidance but most have ideas and will not be talked out of them, they are determined that you or whoever they are buying for will love their gifts and they really care about them.

Absolutely what I've seen, too.

 

[ctinct]

I love the Secret Santa shops. Yes, most of the stuff is not high quality, but my kids and my grandson have always been so proud to be able to pick out their own gifts. (Even if they are not quite right, as when my grandson gave my son a gift that said "To grandma'' on it, there is always so much pride and love attached to the choices.)

 

[diznygirl]

It's interesting to see what the kids will choose on their own. I got a lovely plastic and wood necklace that I actually get lots of compliments on.


Our town does Holiday Shopping Night at the community center. It's sponsored by the local businesses, who provide merchandise. We can trust the kids are getting some quality items. $20 bought four things last year.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I don't blame you for being angry. They are basically using the kids as a captive audience to peddle this cheap junk, in the guise of doing something "fun" for them. Don't get me wrong...I loved our "Elf Shoppe" (was called something else, can't remember what now) when I was a kid, but that doesn't change the fact that it's crapola. I'm sure my parents were just THRILLED with the trash I dragged home from that, and with 3 kids, I'm sure it added up quick! Probably $20 a year on worthless trinkets!

I feel the same way about the unhealthy foods they sell kids in many schools. It's one thing to offer ice cream as an after-school treat (as my elementary school did), but quite another to sell an entire litany of bad food during lunch hours and call it an optional part of the meal! Anyone ever see Supersize Me? The school lunchroom scenes? Downright scary. And of course this is even worse than the Elf Shoppe, because it's every day of the year and it's really harming children by compromising their health at an early age and affecting their lifelong eating habits.

ETA: I think it's a great idea to have the PTA pick out some inexpensive, quality items to sell instead of having a vendor bring in the typical fare they hawk. That way no one is going to have a broken yo-yo to worry about the day they open it up. Can you imagine a parent's gift falling apart on Christmas morning, in front of the child who gave it? That would really depress me, and I'm pretty sure my son would cry.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, I was a volunteer yesterday at ours, and I've done it for the past 6 years. First of all, yes, the stuff is crap. Second of all, the kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. My kids are wrapping up the crap that they picked out right now. Third of all, don't vent if you don't volunteer. There are over 400 kids in our elementary school, and yesterday morning, we had all of 8 moms there. What kills me are the moms who come in just to help their child shop. I got a sitter for my 4 year old twins so I could help out, and other moms brought their little ones. At one time, the committee would spend all year shopping for bargains ($5 and under), and charge the children what they paid (ours is not a fundraiser), just to have better quality items, but we had to go back to a company, because of lack of volunteers. Ours is just one day. If you want to preview the items with your child the night before, volunteer to set up.

Just to vent some more, please don't give your 5 year old a list of 15 people to buy for, and please, cash, not a check. And maybe think about going to the bank the day before, to give your child some $1's and $5's, not $20's and $50's. And don't opt out, even if you instruct your child to buy only a couple of gifts, for $1 each. They really do enjoy it!

 

[mjkacmom]

I guess I feel the need to defend these shops as I do volunteer at them and see how hard the ladies that run them work on them.

First off it is hard to please anyone with any fundraiser someone is not going to like something about it.

We do not have a preview night bc of limited space to do this, the music teacher gets displaced during this time for the two days we run ours.

Some vendors are better than others from what I am told, we switched this year and struggled bc of the quantity and quality of the merchandise, they will probably being viewing other vendors for next year but you do need to be careful bc you dont want to price some of the kids out who are shopping at a budget. You want to be able to provide a wide range of items. And even the dollar store stuff has been know to fall apart too.

As for kids not participating, it is hard sometimes to know whether the child's parent forgot to send in the money or if they do not want them to participate at all. It is also not easy to interuppt some parents at work to find out. It is good you sent a note in but it is hard sometimes. We do IOUs so the kids dont feel left out. Also it is hard bc we utilize all the teachers and aides when the classes come down, to not have your child there with the group. I guess they could go sit in the office or something.

Next the children get so much happiness and PRIDE in shopping all by themselves w/o Mom telling them what to get. Sometimes they miss the mark but most times they are determined to get that person that particualr thing that there is not convinicing them other wise. One year DS10 was determined to get DS4 a rubber snake. I kind of tried to talk him out of it but then I backed off, well guess what DS10 was right, DS4 still loves this darn thing, it is used in his Diego adventures.

So yes I would suggest volunteering first before you start criticizing any fundraiser, get in there and see if your solutions can be applied.

Good luck.

 

[ndelaware]

My kids love the Secret Santa Shop at thier school. And to me it's worth a few dollars just to see how excited they are buying Christmas gifts for others. Are some of the things junk? Absolutely!! But when a kid is learning the joy of giving the items becomes secondary.

 

[RUDisney]

Just to vent some more, please don't give your 5 year old a list of 15 people to buy for, and please, cash, not a check.

What we've told parents to do when they send in a check is to make it out to the PTA and to write the dollar amount that should not be exceeded in the memo portion of the check. That way, parents aren't surprised when their child spends more than they should have spent and the kids don't have to walk around with cash.

 

[mumzie2three]

Third of all, don't vent if you don't volunteer.

You're kidding right? So parents that work or have commitments to other organizations can't comment on school/PTO events? As I said in my posts, I will probably join the PTO next year so I can weight in on the Elf Shoppe.

And don't opt out, even if you instruct your child to buy only a couple of gifts, for $1 each. They really do enjoy it!

Don't opt out? You do realize there are some folks that don't celebrate Xmas. Any child that can't participate should be provided with an alternative activity. Just like they do for kids that can't go on a field trip. And my DDs will have just as much fun shopping outside of school. It's not fun when you get home and it's time to wrap/open gifts and they are broken. It's a buzz kill.

Some posters have made some wonderful suggestions, based on what their schools do. To those posters, thank you.

 

[Daxx]

I am a teacher who had to chair and run the Gingerbread Shop. We just wrapped up and it was a huge success. In no way, shape or form do we run this as a fundraiser. That is TOTALLY cheating kids out of money!!! Everything we had at our store we sold for what we paid for it. No extra added for wrapping -- we used decorative lunch bags from the $1 Tree. We did get some things donated, so we were able to not have to charge for bags.

Since I had v. few volunteers, I did all of the shopping. I went to the Dollar Tree, the Target $1 section. CVS (lots of great little 50 cent and $1 items) and Walgreens for various gifts. Many gifts we were able to "break up" and offer for 50 cents (ie: 4 pack of cookie cutters were 2 for 50 cents and wrapped in cute baggie). Nothing was priced over $1.50. The $1.50 items were coffee mugs w/a small bag of coffee and some dog chew toys that we got from a 2/$3 pack that we split up. Mugs came from Walgreens and were 50 cents each and coffee came from Target $1 section ... we did not upsell things. That mug and coffee sold for the price we paid for it. In addition, we put it in a decorative bag which added a few cents but we didn't charge. Sure, I was hitting the stores every night b/c the Gingerbread Shop would be sold out by the end of the day. And, yes, it was exhausting. But the kids loved it. If I didn't do it, there wouldn't have been a Gingerbread Shop. If anything broke, we simply ate the cost. Of all the items we had, only one mug broke.

We did a "preview" day the day before the sale to let kids look. Nobody was allowed to buy that day! When the sale started, we told teachers to send students with money only. Made things a lot easier for the people running the shop and for the kids w/o money who couldn't buy. The people running the shop were able to focus on those buying and not on having to watch every child there. And, the kids not buying didn't have to watch those w/money buy.

My suggestion? Next year, get on the committee and suggest that the items come from Target, Dollar Store, etc. And volunteer to do the shopping. Yes, it's a load of work having to run out every night to restock but it was better to buy in smaller quantities and have to restock than get stuck w/loads of stuff. And, you can easily sell your items at a far more reasonable price. I mean, $12 for a ceramic angel compared to one just as nice from the $ Store!? Even if you use it as a fundraiser, sell the angel for $2 and you make 50% profit. Many things from the $ Store and Target are going to be far better quality than the crap that those "workshop" type places sell. And, it's a lot cheaper!

 

[mjkacmom]

You're kidding right? So parents that work or have commitments to other organizations can't comment on school/PTO events? As I said in my posts, I will probably join the PTO next year so I can weight in on the Elf Shoppe.



Don't opt out? You do realize there are some folks that don't celebrate Xmas. Any child that can't participate should be provided with an alternative activity. Just like they do for kids that can't go on a field trip. And my DDs will have just as much fun shopping outside of school. It's not fun when you get home and it's time to wrap/open gifts and they are broken. It's a buzz kill.

Some posters have made some wonderful suggestions, based on what their schools do. To those posters, thank you.

Well, I don't know what advice you're planning on giving the PTO - it's either use a private company and get crap, or give up a lot of your time, and shop for bargains, which some schools do. I used to not like them, until I started volunteering, and seeing how much the kids enjoy shopping for their family, with their friends and classmates. I've actually never met anyone who didn't do presents at the holidays - even our Jewish friends shop. I can't understand why a parent would make her children miss out on something really fun, over a few $'s. It just bugs me that the people I know IRL who complain about functions are the same people who never volunteer their time.

 

[htmom]

I LOL when I saw this post. I am on PTO and I am a "buyer" we use local craft shops, the dollar store, and Walmart for our "gifts" nothing exceeds 5 dollars. And we only had TWO complaints this year both from moms who have 5th grade boys and they have never been to a PTO meeting, event, or participate in fundraising.
Our Santa Shoppe gives each kid 3 dollars to shop and the rest is from the parents. Our goal is to break even, this year we lost out on $10. In our area most of the kids bring an extra dollar or two.
We did get lucky and two of the craft shops are taking the extra ornaments we had back. So we won't be out that money as well.

To be honest, it is for the kids, most of them put major thought into what they are getting. I personally don't let the complaints from parents get to me because I see how proud the kids are. That is the reason I do PTO. It has zero to do with the other parents....

 

[Mkrop]

You're kidding right? So parents that work or have commitments to other organizations can't comment on school/PTO events? As I said in my posts, I will probably join the PTO next year so I can weight in on the Elf Shoppe.



[/COLOR]

I wouldnt complain unless I was willing to take on the work. I volunteer a lot and I am not ready to complain if I am not the one willing to give up my time to run the show. I like being a worker vs running things so although I may make suggestions but unless I am willing to give up a huge chunk of time to run it, vs the hour or two to help, then I will let them make the decisions. Dont be surprised if the moms who have been working really hard on this arent all warm and fuzzy or willing to change things just bc you decided to join NOW.

 

[mumzie2three]

Well, I don't know what advice you're planning on giving the PTO

For starters I'd like to know more about the Elf Shoppe. Where they get the items from, who chooses the items, how much money they make (if any), etc. I think a preview night is a good idea for parents that want to be a part of the shopping experience, especially for the 1st graders who have no previous experience with the Elf Shoppe. And I think items that break on the way home from school on the same day they are purchased should be replaced/refunded. Any child who doesn't participate shouldn't be made to go and watch others shop. (The people I know who don't shop are mostly JWs.)

I haven't complained to anyone on the PTO, but over the years, as a volunteer, I've never dismissed a parent's questions/concerns simply because they weren't participating in leading a troop or sitting on a committe. I do think it's much easier to get my ideas implemented when I participate which is one of the reasons I will check the PTO out next year. This year I had planned on moving out of the area, until among other things I found out I was preggers, so I passed on PTO this year. Now we are 'stuck' here for a while, so I am free for next year.

 

[mumzie2three]

I wouldnt complain unless I was willing to take on the work. I volunteer a lot and I am not ready to complain if I am not the one willing to give up my time to run the show. I like being a worker vs running things so although I may make suggestions but unless I am willing to give up a huge chunk of time to run it, vs the hour or two to help, then I will let them make the decisions. Dont be surprised if the moms who have been working really hard on this arent all warm and fuzzy or willing to change things just bc you decided to join NOW.

That kind of attitude may be why some of these groups don't get more volunteers. New members who don't feel valued don't stay members for long. I was asked to join the fund raising committee at church this year because as a new member on the Religious Education committee (2 years ago) the chairperson thought I could bring some of the same creative ideas/changes to fund raising as I had to RE. Different strokes for different folks.

Isn't it common sense for PTOs to welcome and make the most of new members since most volunteers move along as their kids change schools?

 

[donald&daisy]

I don't have any children, but when I was in school we had an Elf Shop type thing. I think it is wrong. School is not a mall. If you want to teach children responsible use of money, there are other ways. I think if you want to have one it is important to hold it after hours. There is no jusifiable reason to take away learning time for shopping. When I was little I thought it was cool too, but I remember there were some kids who didn't have enough (or any) money. Obviously there are those who disagree, but sometimes I think people lose sight of the purpose of school--to learn.

 

[Mkrop]

That kind of attitude may be why some of these groups don't get more volunteers. New members who don't feel valued don't stay members for long. I was asked to join the fund raising committee at church this year because as a new member on the Religious Education committee (2 years ago) the chairperson thought I could bring some of the same creative ideas/changes to fund raising as I had to RE. Different strokes for different folks.

Isn't it common sense for PTOs to welcome and make the most of new members since most volunteers move along as their kids change schools?

Wow read what you want.

I never said they dont make people feel welcome or they dont welcome new ideas. We have a VERY strong PTO with lots of volunteers. But unless I am willing to make my ideas and give more of my time happen then it is not fair to criticize those that do make the event possible. And you are going to come in and start critizsing what other parents bust their butts to make happen. I wouldnt be to thrilled if I was chairing a committee if someone came in with I am going to change it all esp if others thought it was successful. I think you need to watch how you approach bc you dont know if you are the only one complaining or not. Maybe others are thrilled with how the event is run and you are the only one not happy.