Darn Elf Shoppe!!!!

[mumzie2three]

My DD's elementary school has a 2 day event called "Elf Shoppe". The kids can bring in money and a shopping list and purchase gifts for their friends and family. There are volunteers to help them with their lists. The lists are who you are buying for and how much you want to spend. Parents are not notified as to what items are for sale.

Last year, our first experience with this, my DD made some questionable purchases and an item broke upon reaching home. So this year, with 2 DDs at the school, I opted out of Elf Shoppe. I told my DDs that I had issues with the Elf Shoppe and that I would not be giving them any money and they were not to 'borrow' money from anyone. I explained that I would take them shopping and their older sister would take them to shop for me and Dad.

So first I get a phone call from one DDs classroom aide; did I not want my DD to participate? DD was the only one in class with no list and no money. I explained that yes I was planning on taking DD shopping and I had just explained that to her that morning. Well based on that call I fired off an email to my other DDs teacher to explain the situation. No problem, till I get another phone call.

Apparently they let DD attend the Elf Shoppe just to look around and one 'volunteer' took pity on my DD and gave her $2, which my DD quickly spent on something for herself. So the teacher stepped in and returned the item and the money. She also wanted to see if it was OK if DD's friend gave her a gift that he bought from the Elf Shoppe. I said sure.

DD gets home with her gift, a package of 2 yo-yos. I open the package and she uses one while I take the other for a spin and on the first run they both fall apart. Literally, hit the floor in 2 pieces! Both of them! So my DDs are freaking out while I try to put them back together. It just ain't happening. I explain that they are poorly made and my first instinct is to return them to school so the boy who bought them can either get a new package or get his money back.

I wrote a note to the teacher explaining what happened, staple it to the bag of broken yo-yos and send it in to school. DD comes home from school and informs me that her friend will not be getting his money back or new yo-yos, the teacher gave him the broken toys back. Now I feel like a jerk! I'm worried that both the boy and his parents are going to think we are ungrateful. I just think the school ought to not sell crap to small children!!

It turns out the event is run by the PTO and raises money for the school, so complaining about it is going to make me look like an even bigger jerk.
I'm thinking that the only thing to do is join the PTO next year, so I can weigh in on the quality of the products. Or suggest printing up a catalog of items, so parents can help guide some of the kid's purchases.

Should I have just thrown the yo-yos away? My DD would have probably told her friend "the yo-yos broke and Mom threw them away", even if I instructed her to keep her mouth shut. She's in 2nd grade and has very little tact.

 

[ocd4disney]

I hate the 'Elf Shoppe' too. DD's school is always asking for money in one way or the other and then I feel like a jerk for not sending any in. We have had a fall fundraiser, book fair, a walk for diabetes, and a fun run for I don't even remember what. In the spring it will be a carnival and possibly another fundraiser selling things.

DD always wants to participate, but I don't like asking for donations all the time. I have tried to expain to her that we will pick a charity to donate too, but I am not going to go through the school to do it.

I agree with you that the school should not be selling all that junk....not only at the little 'Elf Shoppe', but at the school store too. DD loves to shop there though. I am tired of her coming home with pencil sharpeners that break if you even look at them.

Hopefully the other kids parent will understand what happened....especially if the boy came home with other things too.

 

[GJM]

We are also having our "Holiday Shop". Didn't they do a preview day or night. Even at our old school in NJ they had a preview night where you can go with your kids. My DS did very well last year, he got stuff for everyon, it was about 19 gifts and he spend about $30.

This year at our new school I took him the other day after school, this Holiday Shop runs 2 weeks all day even when school is out. The same amount of gifts I spent $57. The stuff was much more expensive then last years shop. I kept telling him we could go to the dollar store if he didn't see anything. But he wanted to do all his shopping here.

I have been helping out and if someone comes back with something that is broke we will replace it or give them there money back. We are just sending it back to the company it came from. That was wrong of them not to replace it or give the money back.

 

[mumzie2three]

Didn't they do a preview day or night. Even at our old school in NJ they had a preview night where you can go with your kids.

No, but that is a great idea! Thanks.
The event is only run for 2 days so it had ended when DD returned the item. Maybe the teacher just didn't want to be bothered pursuing it? I haven't talked to her about it since I didn't want to make a big issue out of it.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

sorry you had a bad experience!

I help out with our "Holiday Shoppe".

we would always give a refund!!!

Ours is not for profit or a fundraiser - our only goal is to provide the kids with a fun Holiday experience and to break even for the PTO. The kids love it and the teachers tell us every year how much they look forward to it.

We have a very small limit on how much we can charge and are also mindful that not all the kids in our district have the ability to afford to spend as much as others. We hit the 50% and 75% off sales like crazy in order to find quality items to sell VERY afford ably. However, this is hard and sometimes things happen - as with your yo-yos. As I said, we would ALWAYS give a refund.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

No, but that is a great idea! Thanks.
The event is only run for 2 days so it had ended when DD returned the item. Maybe the teacher just didn't want to be bothered pursuing it? I haven't talked to her about it since I didn't want to make a big issue out of it.

maybe if you contacted the PTO yourself, the parents who ran it would be more helpful? If it were me you were contacting - I wouldn't think you were being a jerk, honest. Things happen! (We have kids break things on the way home and just give them their money back!

 

[disneygals]

We had a Holiday Shop at our elementary that we loved.

However! it was done after school and the parents could either be in the room or in another room eating brownies while 5th graders and up helped the kids.

It's too much pressure to do it during the day. Then you have a situation like yours that kids feel left out if they don't participate.

 

[mickeyboat]

Sorry you are having such a bad experience with Elf Shoppe. I think joining the PTO, and possibly agreeing to chair the Elf Shoppe Committee is a really good idea. I am sure they are trying hard to make it a worthwhile experience for everyone but everyone is short on time this time of year - and I am sure they could always use more volunteers.

I can't say that I blame the teacher if she did not pursue a refund for the yo yo's. She probably has many more valuable things to do with her time, and there probably wasn't a good procedure set up for returns.

Hope it goes better next year.

Denae

 

[SC Minnie]

I would contact the PTO person who organized this and let them know the items broke and the teacher would not pursue a refund- only gave them back to the boy who purchased them for you DD. He will probably get his money back then. When we had a fund raiser at DD elem school one year one thing I bought broke the first time it was used. I called the person running the fund raiser and politely explained what happened. I sent it back in and got a refund.

DD's middle school started Market Day this year and it the only fund raiser they are doing. I LOVE IT!!!! The prices on the items are a little higher than at the grocery store but they are things we use. I don't need anymore wrapping paper or magazines. I have set a $ limit each month and won't go over that limit when ordering.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I would contact the people in charge of this event for the PTO with a copy to the PTO President.

I would let them know in detail your experiences and the reason you don't want to participate and make a few suggestions.

1. They hold a Preview "Wish List" night so that parents and siblings can look over everything and create a wish list for the child. That would help the volunteers to direct the children, and give you a chance to see the prices and decide how much you are willing to let your child spend and also see if there is anything you are willing to let them buy for you.

2. That they review the product choices from different companies, and the quaility and return policies etc.. I have found that often times PTA and PTO's work on a "we have always done it this way" mentality. We used this company last year and the year before and the year before that so why change. They don't look at other companies and other offerings. It may be that this company was great 10 years ago when they originally started this but the quality has gone down and it is time to look elsewhere.


I will offer one huge caution. Be careful how much you complain! You may end up Charing this committe next year. I know this from experience!

 

[RUDisney]

Our "Santa's World" is 5 days of shopping. The PTA runs it, but doesn't make any money on it. Everything is $1. When my kids first started at this school, there was a lot of crap being sold. Over the years, the Moms who run it have done a great job improving the quality of the merchandise while still keeping costs to $1 per item. A group of Moms shop dollar stores and The Christmas Tree Shop for dollar items.

My beef is that those who attend Santa's World at the beginning of the week have a great selection. Those who are scheduled at the end of the week (like DS) have an awful selection. DS knew this so he snuck down to the store and had the Moms hold some things for when his class was scheduled.

Really, if something broke that was purchased for $1, I wouldn't be all that upset. If it cost more than that, I'd be upset. If it was our PTA, we would have taken back without hesitation.

Don't be upset about dissenting the PTO. We have people at our meetings all the time who bring up things against what has been done in the past or what has been decided. Sometimes they convince the crowd to do something different. Sometimes, they just get to voice their opinion. The majority rules in our PTA.

 

[talulabelle]

I HATE it too. Ours is also called the "ELf Shoppe" and is supplied by a company by that name. I'm guessing our schools use the same company to supply the gifts. The crap is horrible. I understand that it is fun for the kids, and their teacher actually uses it as a lesson in shopping and budgeting money . They feel good if they have done their shopping on their own. i don't mind that it is a fundraiser either. But I like to teach my kids about quality and smart purchases with their money as well. And there is NOTHING in that place that does not fall apart on Christmas morning if not sooner. I have also told my kids that I will take them shopping and Granny will take them to buy gifts for me and their Dad, but I give them each $2.00 and tell them they can purchase somethng for themselves and one thing to give a friend. This way they are not excluded, and are part of the lesson, they get a small treat (yes it is junk, but I look at it like how I occasionally let them get a treat from the gumball machine - the buck is more for entertainment value rather than quality merchandise) they get the happiness of making a friend happy, and I have put a couple of bucks toward the school fundraiser.

There are a lot of these things that will drive you nuts at your kids school if you let them. I choose to save my complaining for the things that actually matter in my kids education, and find a way to work around the little things like this with out making my kids or myself miserable.

If it bothers you that much, then I think you are right, you should be involved next year. However, be aware of what you are getting into, it might be very hard to find quality merchandise that is going to have a profit margin for the school. I know there is a private school near here that does a similar thing, but all the moms in the school donate handcrafted items and a woman spends all year shopping for super bargains that can be resold a little higher. It is a nice shop but a huge undertaking and you might find it hard to get the parental support in a public school that is needed to drive it.

I try to remember to never criticize without a mind to help. So I don't complain about anything unless I have an idea of how to make it better, or I am willing to do it myself.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Our "Santa's World" is 5 days of shopping. The PTA runs it, but doesn't make any money on it. Everything is $1. When my kids first started at this school, there was a lot of crap being sold. Over the years, the Moms who run it have done a great job improving the quality of the merchandise while still keeping costs to $1 per item. A group of Moms shop dollar stores and The Christmas Tree Shop for dollar items.

My beef is that those who attend Santa's World at the beginning of the week have a great selection. Those who are scheduled at the end of the week (like DS) have an awful selection. DS knew this so he snuck down to the store and had the Moms hold some things for when his class was scheduled.

Really, if something broke that was purchased for $1, I wouldn't be all that upset. If it cost more than that, I'd be upset. If it was our PTA, we would have taken back without hesitation.

Don't be upset about dissenting the PTO. We have people at our meetings all the time who bring up things against what has been done in the past or what has been decided. Sometimes they convince the crowd to do something different. Sometimes, they just get to voice their opinion. The majority rules in our PTA.

smart kid!

ours runs two days only and we put half out one day and half the next! We try to cover all the bases - so this thread is helpful!!!

 

[talulabelle]

BTW, as afar as trying to get the kids his money back.... I dissagree with all that. I think this is an opportunity to teach your child about accepting gifts graciously. When someone gives you a gift, it is just that- a gift. If it breaks and you are able to get an exchange on your own -great. If not, you don't bother the purchaser of the gift with it. If the item was not good quality, then it was not good quality, but you are not entitled to a better gift of better quality. Their job is done, they GAVE you a gift. You don't make work for them out of it. Once the gift is in your hands it's YOUR item and YOUR problem. If you can not get an echange or your money back, then you don't look at it like you lost something, it was a GIFT you are not out any money. Your daughter still has the happiness of knowing a friend did something nice for her. I would be extremely insulted if I gave something to someone and they gave it back to me broken and said "here try to get your money back for this, it was crap". After it broke, you should have explained to your DD's that that is what happens with those typle of items, that is why you didn't want them to shop there, but it was nice for a friend to do something to make her happy, and she should write a thankyou note to him thanking him for his generousity. That it, leave it at that. It was a gift. Say thank you. It's over. Gifts shoudl not be treated as all business. My husbands family is notorious for being ungracious gift receivers at Christmas. They all look at it like they have something coming to them, and if it is is not what they wanted, they are "out". One year I went across town to buy my neice an expensive swaetshirt that was what all the kids in this area were wearing. She opened it, handed it to her mother with a crappy look on her face. Then her mother comes up to me, and starts berating me with, "Where is this store?" "Is there one nearby?" "Do you have the gift receipt?" "She already has something with a hood, so she would rather soemthing different" Like it is all business and they are out a gift or something. I ended up having to do the returning for them as the store was near me. Made me never want to give her anything again, now I give her a target GC and that is it. I'm to busy for their ungratefulness. Meanwhile, they think they are the worlds best gift givers, because we always accept their gifts graciously and just hit goodwill the next day.

 

[talulabelle]

double post

 

[Mkrop]

I guess I feel the need to defend these shops as I do volunteer at them and see how hard the ladies that run them work on them.

First off it is hard to please anyone with any fundraiser someone is not going to like something about it.

We do not have a preview night bc of limited space to do this, the music teacher gets displaced during this time for the two days we run ours.

Some vendors are better than others from what I am told, we switched this year and struggled bc of the quantity and quality of the merchandise, they will probably being viewing other vendors for next year but you do need to be careful bc you dont want to price some of the kids out who are shopping at a budget. You want to be able to provide a wide range of items. And even the dollar store stuff has been know to fall apart too.

As for kids not participating, it is hard sometimes to know whether the child's parent forgot to send in the money or if they do not want them to participate at all. It is also not easy to interuppt some parents at work to find out. It is good you sent a note in but it is hard sometimes. We do IOUs so the kids dont feel left out. Also it is hard bc we utilize all the teachers and aides when the classes come down, to not have your child there with the group. I guess they could go sit in the office or something.

Next the children get so much happiness and PRIDE in shopping all by themselves w/o Mom telling them what to get. Sometimes they miss the mark but most times they are determined to get that person that particualr thing that there is not convinicing them other wise. One year DS10 was determined to get DS4 a rubber snake. I kind of tried to talk him out of it but then I backed off, well guess what DS10 was right, DS4 still loves this darn thing, it is used in his Diego adventures.

So yes I would suggest volunteering first before you start criticizing any fundraiser, get in there and see if your solutions can be applied.

Good luck.

 

[Jaimee]

Yikes. DS's school has his "Secret Santa" shop tomorrow (Saturday) morning. We've never gone and DS really wants to try it this year. I already told him it will probably be junk and that I would much rather give him money to buy stuff at Kohls or something. I think I will have him read this thread and maybe it will change his mind.

Our is run by the same company that runs his school fall carnival, all of the prizes were crap. DS was sooo disappointed that most of them broke before we even got home I'll have to remind him about that.

 

[Mkrop]

Yikes. DS's school has his "Secret Santa" shop tomorrow (Saturday) morning. We've never gone and DS really wants to try it this year. I already told him it will probably be junk and that I would much rather give him money to buy stuff at Kohls or something. I think I will have him read this thread and maybe it will change his mind.

Our is run by the same company that runs his school fall carnival, all of the prizes were crap. DS was sooo disappointed that most of them broke before we even got home I'll have to remind him about that.

If you can go with him then you can teach him a lesson from it.

Not all our stuff is crap. I have gotten some lovely Christmas ornaments from it, Dad still uses his #1 Dad pen, Grandpa had his #1 Grandpa ice scraper in the car last time I rode in it, DH uses his #1 dad travel coffee mug all the time.

And this year DH is getting a Dad mug with Mickey on it (bummer they didnt have a mom version), he started in an office for this first time (vs working from home) and DS10 is soooooo proud that Dad will be using his new mug at his new office.

 

[RUDisney]

Some vendors are better than others from what I am told, we switched this year and struggled bc of the quantity and quality of the merchandise, they will probably being viewing other vendors for next year but you do need to be careful bc you dont want to price some of the kids out who are shopping at a budget.

That's why our PTA mothers shop for items themselves. They originally had the list from the vendors that were used to start shopping. They've evolved it over the years based on what sells. This has worked out well for our PTA. Maybe yours would be interested in bringing it "in house" instead of using a vendor.

I know that these mothers have worked with stores, too, in finding items that might be priced higher in the store but could be sold to us for $1 or less so that we could sell it for what everyone has come to expect.

If I get a little piece of junk that my kids lovingly picked out, I'm not sad that they spent a dollar on it. I'd be mad if they were buying junk for $7, though. I'd rather have their Dad take them out and buy something useful.

 

[Mkrop]

That's why our PTA mothers shop for items themselves. They originally had the list from the vendors that were used to start shopping. They've evolved it over the years based on what sells. This has worked out well for our PTA. Maybe yours would be interested in bringing it "in house" instead of using a vendor.

I know that these mothers have worked with stores, too, in finding items that might be priced higher in the store but could be sold to us for $1 or less so that we could sell it for what everyone has come to expect.

If I get a little piece of junk that my kids lovingly picked out, I'm not sad that they spent a dollar on it. I'd be mad if they were buying junk for $7, though. I'd rather have their Dad take them out and buy something useful.

Most of ours stuff did not cost more than $5. And most of it was ok this year just some junky stuff but overall it wasnt too bad. I think it was more lack of variety and then not sending the right quantities.

I love volunteering to help but I am not ready (although I have been asked) to take on chairing it. Maybe when DS4 is there too. So unless I can do a better job and am willing to take on the responsibility, I usually keep quiet.

I think this year things were a little crazy bc the one vendor that was used retired and I dont think the moms that were running it had the time to interview like they wanted.