I actually got to meet the OP at Disney during the taping of the Christmas Parade. My niece was also dancing for the first time at Disney and I had lots of questions. When I went looking for information on the DISboards I came across her post and we started chatting. It was the first time I have meet someone in person from the boards and it was lots of fun.
Our family had a wonderful time and we are really hoping we get to go back this year. I can tell you each group is a little different. For example: our dance teacher booked all our reservations and handled all of the trip, however, the OP booked her own room.
First let me tell you who went on our trip - it was me, my DH, my DS8 and my DD 7 months in one room and then my mother and 2 nieces (10 and 12) in another room.
My mother took care of getting my niece to her required appointments and the rest of us were pretty much able to do what ever we wanted to. The only person who really has to follow a schedule is the dancer herself. Parents are not allowed to go with the dancer at any time. My mother would just take her to the lobby of the hotel to meet up with her dance teacher and other dancers then they would be taken by bus to where ever they needed to be.
Our dance teacher sent us photos and updates via text all along the way - she even told us exactly where to be standing during the parade so we would be on the right side to see our dancer. However, not all dance teachers did this and I heard a few parents complaining about lack of information.
Because this was our first trip and we weren't really sure what to expect (plus our dance teacher told us not to) we did not have any ADRs or set plans at all. It was a little frustrating because we were a large party of 7 and most sit down places didn't have room for us without the ADR. Now that we have been and I have an idea of how things work I will be making ADRs if we get to go back this year.
You do not have to stay for the whole taping of the parade. My niece had to be at the bus at 4 am Saturday morning for the taping. My mother and older niece had to be at the park by 6 (if I remember correctly) - with a 7 month old and 8 year old my family didn't even try to make it. They were let in a back entrance and watched my niece perform with the Newsies. After her performance they were free to do what ever they wanted. That morning was not as long as I thought it would be.
There were two groups of dancers - the younger ones did a dance with Brave and the older girls did a dance with the Newsies. The girls where given a list of items to bring and then Disney provided the rest. For example - my niece was dancing with the Newsies so she was required to find her own shirt and pants (which we had to take a picture of and have approved by Disney). Then Disney provided her vest and hat.
The dancers also got to perform in the regular Disney Parade (3:00 at MK). During this parade they had on a different costume provided by Disney. The girls were not allowed to wear the costume or their make-up in the parks.
We were provided a schedule with the times and such a few weeks before we went, however, they will tell you that it can change at any time.
We arrived on Wednesday morning and went to DHS for the day. She had to meet with her dance teacher and group that night at 9:00 for a short meeting. Then Thursday she had her big rehearsal day - Disney provided her lunch, took a group photo and individual photo and then she performed in the parade at MK. On Friday she had rehearsal and then Saturday was the early morning taping. We were not allowed to leave officially until Sunday at 3:00 just incase they had to redo something or if there was a rain delay. Some of our parents didn't read the part about being available until 3:00 on Sunday and they had booked early morning flights. Lucky we didn't have any rain or do overs so it was no big deal. However, I wouldn't recommend taking that chance.
As the OP said she booked extra days at the end of the dance trip for her family. My kids had already missed three days of school just for the dance portion of the trip so we were not able to add any extra days.
We were able to spend a full day at DHS when we arrived, a good amount of time at MK and we even went to Epcot for a few hours.
It was not a normal Disney vacation for my family but it was a lot of fun and something I do hope we get to do again. Oh we were also able to go to the
MVMCP. My niece was able to go Thursday night but she was not able to go Friday night because she had to get up so early Saturday morning. Because we didn't know the schedule until really close to the trip we didn't purchase those tickets until a few days before we left.
Hope this helps some. Feel free to ask any specific questions and I'll do my best to answer them.
Plus maybe the OP will post too. If I remember correctly I think her dance group does the Disney Christmas Parade every other year because they have another event they do. I don't think she will be going back this year.
Our dance teacher is still waiting on information regarding the 2013 details. For 2012 they had a new rule that your dance group had to have a minimum of 8 girls go. We only had 6 but because our group had been going for many many years they let us slide by. Our dance teacher isn't sure they will do that again this year.
Keep me posted if you do get to go. Maybe we could meet up too.
Allison