Dance Moms WWYD?

[Pigeon]

In our house, the choice would be to move to a different studio or discontinue dancing.

I let my kids make some decisions, but at the end of the day, it's my money funding these activities, and I decide whether or not it is being spent wisely. In your case, the studio is going down the tubes. Kids are naturally loyal, but they also adjust to new circumstances pretty quickly. If all your dd's friends are at a different studio, she may be happy with the switch sooner than you think.

 

[KiminChicago]

Well, it appears that this weekend's convention and competition may have been the last straw for DD. There are two other girls DD's age in this class. These girls go to school together and live in the same neighborhood, so it makes sene that they are friends. What didn't make sense is what happened at the convention.

The class was told to pair up for part of a dance. DD asked one of the other girls from our studio to be her partner but the moms started yelling at their daughters to pick each other. The second time it happened DD started to get upset.

Then we found out that the dance instructor decided that the fee for instructors to attend the convention was too high, so she isn't attending the convention at all. DD and the other two girls were also competing in the Juniors Division yesterday, so the instructor found out what the order for the competition was and told us we'd probably dance an hour after the competition started. The competition started at 4:30pm and she guessed we'd dance at 5:30. Then she told us she'd be back at 4:30 and we should wait until then to start getting ready. The girls kept seeing all the other girls in their costumes and makeup so we decided at 3:45 that we weren't going to wait any longer and started getting makeup and hair done. Since this was our first competition, we had no idea what to expect. All the girls were stressed out because she wasn't there. She showed up just as the competition started.

Our girls ended up getting one of the lowest scores at the competition. Only two other groups (out of 40) scored as low as we did. DD is pretty upset right now and wanted to skip attending the rest of the convention. I talked her into going today, but after all this drama, even she agrees that checking out other studios might be the way to go. I'm just worried that other studios are going to be full of the "pageant mom" types -- based on some of what I've seen at this convention, I think maybe my daughter is too nice to be a dancer. There seem to be a lot of 7-10 year old bratty divas out there!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm just worried that other studios are going to be full of the "pageant mom" types -- based on some of what I've seen at this convention, I think maybe my daughter is too nice to be a dancer. There seem to be a lot of 7-10 year old bratty divas out there!

I've learned not to judge my fellow dance moms in our studio. We don't do the fancy conventions but we did join a comp team. I was scared stiff to join, but the moms seem like nice regular moms after going for a few weeks.

My children are not bratty divas--but they can get attitude.

It takes a strong anchor in mom and dad to keep the kid level headed.

Just b/c your daughter is "too nice"--noone is too nice, too small, too big, too tall, too silly, too pretty, too ugly, too *insert any adjective* to dance.

Dance is for everyone.

It is unfortunate your daughter's coach is....an idiot.

I adore the French language. I am not good at it, but it is what I chose to study in high school. I was in my 3rd high school by senior year (military family) and got into a level III French Class. It seemed to go well in the beginning and I looked forward to a state competion called Congres (accent on the e, but I do not know how to type it--pronounced Kon-gray).

Our teacher--well, she spent my senior year working and completing her phD. I do not fault anyone who chooses to advance their education. It is a wonderful thing to do. But she did it at the expense of us. We did not know what we should have for level three and Congres was a joke. I felt like I was in a foreign country and hadn't one lick of french.

Our teacher was physically there but mentally absent. She was on some board or something--and there was some issues. The small team of us that went to this event felt quite abandoned thanks to that fruit loop. We all held her in contempt. How sucky is it to have a "A" grade in a level III french class but basically flunk on a competition competency test?

I did go on to take French in college (which was still of no use when I went with my Family to Paris in 2004. Hubby likes to joke on how NOT so well our first hour in Paris went on arrival when I could not communicate with the --not concierge, but something similar--of an apartment I had rented for our stay. All I was trying to do was say that we were waiting/meeting someone and not able to say it at all. I could ask for the potty though when dd had to go to the bathroom.).

That being said, it is our teachers who set the bar for behavior in competition and in life. When they behave wrecklessly, it can really sour our attitudes on whatever it is we are trying to pursue.

I'd simply leave the studio and try another and you may never know. Since you had no comraderie--you were pretty much abandoned and left to fend for yourself at this competition. That would scare me as well.

But don't leave dance b/c your daughter is "too nice". It is precisely what they need in dance.

We can't let the art form get overrun by divas with attitude. Watch "So You Think You Can Dance" and you can tell the divas from the non-divas. It seems the divas, don't have much dance skills behind the attitude when it comes to picking the top 20.

Beware--DIVA crossing--and steer clear and avoid them. But not the art of dance!

 

[KiminChicago]

I know no one is "too anything" for dance -- it was just an eye-opening experience to be at this convention. I was amazed at all the 7-10 year olds prancing about with those skimpy bra tops and shorts so low they were showing butt cleavage. And they were wearing makeup to class. Who wears makeup to class? I can understand the need for makeup on stage but 9 year olds with heavy smoky eyes in class seemed a bit over the top for me. But the last straw was watching another girl shove her elbow in my daughter's ribs to try and get closer to the instructor -- my daughter had been standing in that spot for several minutes, waiting for the class to start.

I've told my daughter that she shouldn't worry about being too close to the instructor, just find a place more out in the open. As long as she can see the instructors in these classes, she'll be fine. Everyone is trying so hard to get the instructors to notice them so they might get a scholarship to the next convention -- she'll probably be more noticeable if she's not packed into the herd in front of the instructors' platform and is out in the open where she can really dance. Thank goodness there's only one more day!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

We are in a similar situation. Our studio changed hands a year ago, and while some things have been positive, the studio has definitely taken a turn I don't care for.

The current studio owner thinks that the only supportive families are those who kiss up and tell her that she is the best thing since sliced bread (not in my nature to do that!). Therefore the kids of those parents are the one that get her attention. At the beginning of the year, she told the parents of my older DD's team that none of those kids were ready for the "only" Nationals that she considers worthwhile. By the end of the year, one dancer from my DD's team was incorporated into the Nationals team (all dancer 2-3 years older than my DD who is 2 years older than this other dancer). Ironically, the mom of the only dancer from my daughter's team who got to go to Nationals is the studio owner's new BFF!

Bottom line is that the change in ownership resulted in changing our studio from a family friendly environment that focused on the team to a hyper competitive environment focusing on the individual and pitting dancers from the same team against each other. That is something I am not comfortable with. My husband was recently transfered to another state, so we have an easy way out. However, if my family were not moving, I would have been looking for a new studio.