Custodial Parents Child Support Support Group!

[disneydreamin247]

They go to jail for disobeying a court order, not for being in debt. If I was to prevent DS from going to his court ordered visitation I could be jailed as well.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

They go to jail for disobeying a court order, not for being in debt. If I was to prevent DS from going to his court ordered visitation I could be jailed as well.

Believe me i know how it works, i have dealt with a deadbeat dad situation myself. I know most will not agree with me and that's okay, just stating my opinion. If a judgment is entered against me for paying back cc debt or something would they haul me to jail for not paying?? Serious question, i would like to know...

 

[SereneOne]

Believe me i know how it works, i have dealt with a deadbeat dad situation myself. I know most will not agree with me and that's okay, just stating my opinion. If a judgment is entered against me for paying back cc debt or something would they haul me to jail for not paying?? Serious question, i would like to know...

I do not think they would, however in this case we are talking about an innocent child who will go without necessities because of a deadbeat parent, and that to me is child abuse and they need to go to jail. My husband had custody of his kids (they are all now grown) and his ex wife refused to pay until they took away her license and she was about to go to jail, then just before the hearing she would pay and the process would start all over again, months of no child support and then about five payments at once....and no, that did not put us ahead, it made us further and further behind because of late fees and such. The custodial parent does not get to say to the child, "sorry you do not get to eat for the next five months, but hey on that sixth month you can eat five helpings to make up for it." IMHO, in most cases not paying your child support is child abuse...MOST cases.

 

[suevee]

Believe me i know how it works, i have dealt with a deadbeat dad situation myself. I know most will not agree with me and that's okay, just stating my opinion. If a judgment is entered against me for paying back cc debt or something would they haul me to jail for not paying?? Serious question, i would like to know...

I think it is a different scenario. They go to jail for disobeying a court order, especially if the child support is tied into the divorce proceedings. A judgement is not a court order. Disobeying a court order is much more serious. It is thumbing your nose at the judge and judicial system. A judgement for credit debt is not breaking the law, just bad judgement or difficult circumstances. The only one you hurt is yourself, the creditor can pass on the costs to the rest of us. Breaking a court order is not only against the law, but it hurts the innocent who cannot pass on the debt and have no other recourse. That is why licenses are suspended and jail time is served.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I do not think they would, however in this case we are talking about an innocent child who will go without necessities because of a deadbeat parent, and that to me is child abuse and they need to go to jail. My husband had custody of his kids (they are all now grown) and his ex wife refused to pay until they took away her license and she was about to go to jail, then just before the hearing she would pay and the process would start all over again, months of no child support and then about five payments at once....and no, that did not put us ahead, it made us further and further behind because of late fees and such. The custodial parent does not get to say to the child, "sorry you do not get to eat for the next five months, but hey on that sixth month you can eat five helpings to make up for it." IMHO, in most cases not paying your child support is child abuse...MOST cases.

I don't know if you are aware but a lot of reservists who are not able to afford child support due to reduced wages are facing jail time when they get back from Iraq.

 

[disneydreamin247]

I don't know if you are aware but a lot of reservists who are not able to afford child support due to reduced wages are facing jail time when they get back from Iraq.

She said MOST cases, not all

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I don't know if you are aware but a lot of reservists who are not able to afford child support due to reduced wages are facing jail time when they get back from Iraq.

I think it is a totally different scenario-they are not willfully neglecting their responsibilities. Each situation should be considered on its own mertis. I doubt you would find anyone here that would condone penalizing someone that is serving our country in this way. Your miscontruing the thoughts and opinions posted here as being absolute and I don't think they are. I think all who posted pretty much stated the jail opinion for our own individual situations-not anyone elses. I know I can't certainly judge the merits of anyone else and what they are encountering.

I AM for jailing deadbeats, but I'm speaking of the ones who are here and jobless by choice (not due to disability or other extenuating circumstance) and avoiding employment or working off the books to evade payments. Those who are capable of supporting their child or children, but choose not to.

Child support is not treated like any other debt for a reason. Your talking about caring for a human being, not a debt owed to a credit card company or a mortgage holder. An innocent person is hurt by not getting child support and more often than not, the non-custodial parent doesn't pay out of spite towards the custodial parent. If child support were merely like credit card debt, they would let you declare bankruptcy and you'd be rid of your responsibilities to your kid.

 

[Gina]

I know this is not my thread, but I can't tell you how p.o.'d I am right now at the recent replies. To the very sweet OP: I'll apologize now if I'm stepping on your toes, and I will just back out of this little group if you want me to. But I have to say this.

This thread was started as a mini-support-group -- it freakin' says so right in the title. Anyone who isn't going through the unique hell we deal with on a day-to-day basis can, frankly, get bent, for all I care. If you have an opinion on how deadbeat jerks shouldn't be jailed for blatantly violating court orders and causing children to suffer, then feel free to start your own thread. But either you're going or I'm going, because nobody asked for any outside opinions on child support enforcement.

This is why I hate the CB so much of the time... even when a thread title clearly doesn't apply to someone, they just can't stand to not jump in and have their say. It's ridiculous. NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.


to all my fellow exhausted single parents


-gina-

 

[disneydreamin247]

I know this is not my thread, but I can't tell you how p.o.'d I am right now at the recent replies. To the very sweet OP: I'll apologize now if I'm stepping on your toes, and I will just back out of this little group if you want me to. But I have to say this.

This thread was started as a mini-support-group -- it freakin' says so right in the title. Anyone who isn't going through the unique hell we deal with on a day-to-day basis can, frankly, get bent, for all I care. If you have an opinion on how deadbeat jerks shouldn't be jailed for blatantly violating court orders and causing children to suffer, then feel free to start your own thread. But either you're going or I'm going, because nobody asked for any outside opinions on child support enforcement.

This is why I hate the CB so much of the time... even when a thread title clearly doesn't apply to someone, they just can't stand to not jump in and have their say. It's ridiculous. NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.


to all my fellow exhausted single parents


-gina-

I personally do not think you are out of line or offensive. I have appreciated your posts on this thread and would very much like to have you stay in our little group of underpaid and unappreciated single moms.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I personally do not think you are out of line or offensive. I have appreciated your posts on this thread and would very much like to have you stay in our little group of underpaid and unappreciated single moms.

Me too. Your certainly not stepping on my toes and I do hope you'll stay.

This is a very personal topic and like I said before, I hesitated to even post a thread on this knowing that it can get very impassioned responses. I can tell you that this topic gets my blood going like nothing else can because it is near and dear to my heart and I live it every day. I also have been careful not to critique anyones situation because quite honestly I have not walked in anyone elses shoes but my own. I will say I relate to nearly every post though. I would not even try to tell someone I think what they believe is wrong on this subject because I don't know every detail of their situation and quite frankly, I'm not entitled to it.

I started this thread as a support module for those who are in the same situation and feel the frustration over the justice system and with the non-custodial parent. It would be wonderful if we could keep this in perspective.

 

[Gina]

I personally do not think you are out of line or offensive. I have appreciated your posts on this thread and would very much like to have you stay in our little group of underpaid and unappreciated single moms.

I'm sorry to go off... but I just found out that ex just switched jobs AGAIN, after the collection agency and AG office finally caught up with him. Now we get to start the game all over again. And there are sick, misguided people who don't think these $%@#^'s should be in jail?!?!? Are you KIDDING me??? Believe me, I fervently wish for waaaaayyyy worse than jail for my ex....

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I think it is a different scenario. They go to jail for disobeying a court order, especially if the child support is tied into the divorce proceedings. A judgement is not a court order. Disobeying a court order is much more serious. It is thumbing your nose at the judge and judicial system. A judgement for credit debt is not breaking the law, just bad judgement or difficult circumstances. The only one you hurt is yourself, the creditor can pass on the costs to the rest of us. Breaking a court order is not only against the law, but it hurts the innocent who cannot pass on the debt and have no other recourse. That is why licenses are suspended and jail time is served.

Thank you for explaining the difference. I do understand it is a terrible problem and they are trying hard to change it for the kids sake. I feel for anyone not receiving child support for their kids but mostly I feel bad for the kids who are suffering, hopefully some of them are not suffering too badly because of stepparents help or because their custodial parent is making enough money. But it's still not right.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I know this is not my thread, but I can't tell you how p.o.'d I am right now at the recent replies. To the very sweet OP: I'll apologize now if I'm stepping on your toes, and I will just back out of this little group if you want me to. But I have to say this.

This thread was started as a mini-support-group -- it freakin' says so right in the title. Anyone who isn't going through the unique hell we deal with on a day-to-day basis can, frankly, get bent, for all I care. If you have an opinion on how deadbeat jerks shouldn't be jailed for blatantly violating court orders and causing children to suffer, then feel free to start your own thread. But either you're going or I'm going, because nobody asked for any outside opinions on child support enforcement.

This is why I hate the CB so much of the time... even when a thread title clearly doesn't apply to someone, they just can't stand to not jump in and have their say. It's ridiculous. NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.


to all my fellow exhausted single parents


-gina-

Umm if you are talking to me I HAVE been through this situation and I said so.

 

[disneydreamin247]

I'm sorry to go off... but I just found out that ex just switched jobs AGAIN, after the collection agency and AG office finally caught up with him. Now we get to start the game all over again. And there are sick, misguided people who don't think these $%@#^'s should be in jail?!?!? Are you KIDDING me??? Believe me, I fervently wish for waaaaayyyy worse than jail for my ex....

is what we all need right now. I'm so sorry to hear that. My friend's ex RETIRED just as they started taking the payments from him because he thought they wouldn't be able to garnish his pension! Well they will but in the mean time they give my friend the run around and his arrears continue to grow. Not to mention he is behind in maintenance payments. The worst part is he left their family for another woman and her 3 kids and doesn't want to pay for his OWN children . HOW DARE YOU?!? I think he belongs in jail rotting away next to my donor. That's right....JAIL.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I agree! Group hug time!

Ladies, I feel your pain all around. DisneyDreamin and Gina-I'm going through the same garbage as I type. It's just way too frustrating to fight this fight 24/7. I get tired of hearing there is nothing the court system can do. This system bites-big time. We need serious child support reforms for every state. Honestly, I think there should be Federal laws regarding child support. Sadly I don't think this will ever happen in my lifetime, but it should. I've gone through periods of complete disgust where I've given up on trying to collect support and then I get times where my panties get in a twist and I am after my ex ful throttle. Its very draining emotionally. Just know that you have a lot of support here!

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I'm sorry to go off... but I just found out that ex just switched jobs AGAIN, after the collection agency and AG office finally caught up with him. Now we get to start the game all over again. And there are sick, misguided people who don't think these $%@#^'s should be in jail?!?!? Are you KIDDING me??? Believe me, I fervently wish for waaaaayyyy worse than jail for my ex....

I can't believe you would call me SICK because I don't think jail time is appropriate, I asked for an explanation and someone gave it, I think you are being really nasty.

 

[disneydreamin247]

I offered an explanation and it wasn't good enough, which I don't understand.

 

[Gina]

I can't believe you would call me SICK because I don't think jail time is appropriate, I asked for an explanation and someone gave it, I think you are being really nasty.

I really don't care. My point was, no one asked anyone if they felt jailtime was appropriate. No one. No poll offered, no opinions solicited.

 

[disneydreamin247]

Let's get this thread back on track as the support group it is intended to be.

KeepMovingForward I can totally relate. Right now we are going through a visitation battle and I am ALWAYS going to visit appointments, forensic psychiatrist appointments, law guardian appointments and I just don't have the time to spend a whole day in court filing a violation against him. Honestly it should be done automatically once the 4th payment is missed. Why should I have to be penalized because he's a low life? Today is my first day off of work and no appointments in about a week and I TOOK A NAP! It was for an hour but I needed it for sure. Should I have sacrificed my only day of some down time to go file against him? Surely this system was set up by men.

 

[eeyorefan67]

Wow... what happened while I was gone If I can be soo bold, without stepping on toes and please this my opinion about jail . I think CS should go after everything that the non-paying person owns land, house, car. Take away the boat,watertoys,motorcycles,snowmobiles,campers and every other toy that we single Moms and Dads do not have the pleasure of owning. Why is it that single Moms and Dads have to suffer knowing that this donor has all everything, while we are trying to pay the bills and put food on the table. I would rather have my donor loss everything he has ever owned than go to jail. I don't see how going to jail is going to help me get the arrears that are owed to me.

Sorry this is off topic but I thought it was funny

I was in family court with my daughter back in March and there was this divorce case that was in front of my daughter's case (custody) and the husband "forgot" to mention that he owned a plane, motorcycles and a boat!!!! Boy was the judge mad at him The husband "thought" he didn't have to mention that he owned these items because they were luxury item

OK back to thread topic

Update on what is going on with my case ......nothing. I talked to a woman at the child support link that was given on this thread and they can't help me because collection agencies have no jurisdiction in Maine and I also wrote to a lawyer in Maine who told me that I need to file a motion back in Mass. File a motion for what "give me my damn money" motion .