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MuskratSusie

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Here's a list of things you can do to help save the Earth!:
1. When you use the bathroom, don't use toilet paper. Use a furry pet, like a dog, or a cat, or a guinea pig. They're furry and feel really good and they get a bath in feces and urine!
2. Stop using toothpaste. It does nothing but clean your teeth, and you're going to lose your teeth by the time you're sixty anyway. Who cares?!
3. Don't buy books. They're pointless, boring and they waste time. They also waste paper, so you're saving about a bajillion trees right there.
4. Don't buy any new clothing. You're supporting animals that take up space on the Earth and their gas produces at least 999.2% of the earth's waste. Instead, use old wrappers, used toilet tissue and baby clothes to make new clothing. You can look really fabulous!
5. Don't use lightbulbs. It's way better to use candles all the time.
6. Rarely take any showers. It wastes about 200% of the world's water anyways. Plan on taking showers once a month, and make them five minutes long.
7. Don't drink bottled water, it wastes 2% of the earth's water! Just drink tap water or water from a nearby puddle. It's way healthier and tastes much better.
8. Reuse your food. You can always make new things out of old cereal milk. Also make sure you scrap the bottom of plates for extra special ingredients. Corn bread tastes really good with old lasagna and casserole. Other things to recycle: gum. Just stick it to the bottom of your desk!
9. Don't go to school anymore. Your school wastes money buying desks that waste trees. School is also boring and pointless, anyways.
and lastly.
10. Just die. You just being alive is probably wasting 90% of the earth's resources. You probably caused global warming and the reason why the human race won't last until 2012.

----

LOL. Don't ask, please. xD
 

Basically, this guy breaks into a house. He has a pillow case, and heads toward the entertainment center. Hes stuffing in all the dvds, dvd player, etc.. And he hears this voice... "Jesus is watching you..." he turns around out of instinct, and quickly scans the dark room... nothing. So he went back to stealing more items.. then he hears it again.. "Jesus is watching you..." he grabs his flashlight and shines it across the room. He sees a bird in a cage, and he aims the light at him. The bird talks... "Jesus is watching you.." The robber stands up and walks over to the bird, he says "Oh your cute birdie, whats your name?" The bird replies, "Moses". The robber laughs, and says "Moses?!? What kind of people name their pet bird Moses?!?"
Then the bird giggled a bit.... then replied-
"The same people who name their rottweiler Jesus."

-----

ROTFL
 
----
A woman at court; told the judge:
Please! I want a divorce; and i want custody of my child because this child is mine and not my husband's. After all he is in my stomach.
Judge says okay... and asks husband what do you think?
he stays quiet then says..
Judge; if I put a dollar in a coke machine whose coke is it mine or the machine?
--

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer
jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it
supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the
picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help
with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she
has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then
looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into
anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says,
"Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh. .. .

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes
back in the box."

---

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one is tall enough to go on the good rides

---

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

---
 
/
Dead And Gone - T.I. ft. Justin Timberlake

Ay, lemme kick it to you right quick man
Not on some gangsta _ man on some real _
Anybody who been through the same thing
I'm sure you feel the same way

Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone, dead and

Ever had one of them days wish you would have stayed home
Run into a group of niggas who gettin' their hate on
You walk by, they get wrong, you reply then _ get blown
Way out of proportion way past discussion
Just you against them, pick one then rush them
Figure you get jumped here that's next
They don't wanna stop there now they bustin'

Now you gushin', ambulance rushin'
You to the hospital with a bad concussion
Plus you hit four times but it hit yo spine
Paralyzed waist down and ya wheelchair bound
Never mind that now you lucky to be alive
Just thinkin' it all started fussin' wit three guys
Nigga pride in the way but your pride is the way you can _
Around get shot down any day

Niggas die everyday, all little _
Dope money, dice games, ordinary hood _
Could this be cuz of hip-hop music
Or did the ones with the good sense not use it?
Usually niggas don't know what to do when they back against the wall
So they just start shootin'
For red or for blue or for blow I guess
From Bankhead at the old projects

No more stress, now I'm straight
Now I get it, now I take time to think
Before I make mistakes just for my family stake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me dead and gone away

Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone, dead and

I ain't neva been scared, I live through tragic
Situations could been dead lookin' back at it
Most of that _ didn't even have to happen
But you don't think about it when you out there trappin'
In the apartments hangin', smokin' and rappin'
Niggas start _ next thing we know we cappin'
Get locked up then didn't even get mad
Now I think about that what a life I had

Most of that _ look back just laugh
Some _ still look back get sad
Thinkin' my home boy still be around
Had I not hit the nigga in the mouth that time
I won that fight I lost that war
I could still see my nigga walkin' out that door
Who would of thought I'd never see Philant no more
Got enough dead homies I don't want no more

Cuz a nigga his jump cost me more
I'd a took that _ whoopin' out for sure
Now think before I risk my life
Take them chances to get my stripes
A nigga put his hands on me alright
Otherwise stand there talk _ all night
Cuz I hit you and you sue me
I shoot you get locked up poor me

No more stress now I'm straight
Now I get it now I take time to think
Before I make mistake just for my family stake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me dead and gone away

Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone

I turn my head to the east, I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west, still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me's dead and gone but the new me will be alright
I turn my head to the east, I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west, still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me's dead and gone but the new me will be alright, 'cause

Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone, dead and
 
Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone, dead and
 
Beautiful - Eminem

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me?
Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me?
I'm reaching out for you....

I'm just so _ depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump, but I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps, fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up, in order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm startin to feel distant again, so I decided just to pick this pen
Up and try to make an attempt to vent but I just can't admit or come to grips
With the fact that I may be done with rap, I need a new outlet
And I know some _ so hard to swallow, but I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow, but I know one fact, I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow, but you'd have to walk a thousand miles...

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me, I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside each others minds
Just to see what we'd find, look at _ through each others eyes

But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get _, just stay true to you

I think I'm startin to lose my sense of humor, everythings so tense and gloom, I
Almost feel like I got to check the temperture of the room just as soon as
I walk in, it's like all eyes on me, so I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that, then it opens the door for coversation, like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attention, I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no _ man servant, tryna follow me around and wipe my _
And laugh at every single joke I crack and half of them aint even funny like
"Ahh, Marshall you're so funny man you should be a comedian, god damn"
Unfortunately I am, I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we ain't gotta trade our shoes, and you aint gotta walk no thousand miles

Nobody asked for life to deal us what these _ hands were dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves, and flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could of either just sat on my _ and pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I'm placed, and get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags
Or sat on the porch and hoped and pray for a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in, in every single place, every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid, even if it meant actin stupid
And Aunt Edna was told me, keep makin that face it'll get stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standin there holdin my tongue tryna talk like "thissss"
Till I stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign pole at 8 years old
I learned my lesson then, cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story, not just based on my description
Cause where you see it, from where you're sittin, it's probably 110 percent different
I guess we would have to walk a mile in each others shoes at least
What size you wear? I wear 10's, let's see if you could fit your feet...

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has their private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me?
Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me?
I'm reaching out for you....

Yeah, to my babies, stay strong. Dad will be home soon. And to the rest of the world, God gave you them shoes, to fit you, so put them on and wear em. Be yourself man. Be proud of who you are. Even if it sounds corny, don't ever let anyone tell you, you aint beautiful.

 














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