Crying it out?

[MayMom]

It is 4:06 AM(!!!) and my daughter is screaming in her bedroom. She is 16 months old and we took the bottle away last week. She is not wet, she is not hungry. She is fighting mad! She is not handling it well....
My question to all those Moms with babies that sleep by themselves in their own beds (without screaming and crying) is - How do you do it? Do you let them scream? Will it get better?
My older child was a terrible sleeper which was totally our fault. We rocked him to sleep, put him in our bed, basically everything you are not supposed to do...... But I am hopefully learning from my mistakes. My daughter doesn't really cry, she just screams VERY loudly.
I need advice BADLY!!

 

[minkydog]

Well, I think it sounds like everything is going normally. Just wait 'til the teen years

Seriously, you hit the nail on the head--she is mad, mad,mad! And she will scream her head off. And if you give in to this, you can expect this behavior to be repeated for the next 18 years. Be strong, mom. She will eventually sleep. At 16 months she does not need a bottle at night to sustain her until morning. You aren't being horrible, you're doing the right(tho painful) thing.

 

[MayMom]

Thanks! I needed to hear that!!!

 

[Rachie0507]

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING

Overall, my kids have always been good sleepers, but DS went through a phase like you are describing right after he turned 2. He would scream every night and I would give in and let him out of his room. DH and I joked that he just wanted to watch the Red Sox with us! Finally, his pediatrician talked me through the 'crying it out' plan and it was a lifesaver. During the first couple nights, he would scream for 2-3 hours. After that it went down quickly and within a week he was sleeping fine again. My biggest piece of advice is to fight the urge to comfort her. Don't go in, don't talk to her, nothing. If you do, you are starting all over. Tell her before bedtime that you are there but cannot come in because it is time for her to sleep. I know she seems young to understand that but she can and it will also help your own piece of mind. I know everyone is different and this may not be the best way for you, but it worked really well in our house.

 

[txgirl]

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING

Three children and the last one we figured it out. We have the best sleeper with our ds-2 because we let him comfort himself and get back to sleep. If you don't mind the rocking or letting them in your bed to then that's fine too. For us, we needed our sleep and I didn't want to make it more difficult for him IF and WHEN we put him back in his bed.

Hang in there mom! It's tough but don't cave cause then you will be back at square one.

Blessings!

 

[DKx3]

Hi, my kids (7 & 10) have been great sleepers since their crying it out days. My daughter never slept more than 2 hours straight until eight months old. I fell in the trap of putting her in the crib after she was asleep. Well, eight months of it was all I could take. We let her cry it out in her crib, 2 1/2 hours the first night , 1 hour the second nite, 20 minutes the 3rd night, and went right to sleep ever since then. The same story with my son, but I started at 6 months with him. Good luck, she's okay, and you really are doing what's best for her (and it'll be good for you too!).

 

[720L]

I feel for you-my son is a screamer not a cryer when he's mad. It's really hard not to give in but stay strong. You're doing the right thing. Does she have a pacifier still?

 

[Minnie824]

Definitely good taking bottle away now. DD (who is now almost 4) was on it til she was 2, and then we gave her babas to the baba fairy, who brought new cups for her. She hasn't drank any milk since. (shes a little stubborn). So with my 2nd DD, getting her off the bottle was my 1st priority once she turned one, and we did so around 12.5 mos. Just keep it up, it will pass shortly.

 

[CouponCon]

It will get better. Just thought you needed some good vibes sent your way!

 

[pyrxtc]

It is very hard to let them CIO. My 4 yr ld DS couldn't do it cuz everytime he mde himeself throw up. Now with our 21 month old DS, we want to do it but he can climb out of the bed instead of crying and we have no crib. So we are stuck. We are going to try the Nanny 911 version someday.

What I wouldn't give to have him out of my bed.

 

[McKelly]

We had to do it with both of our kids. I used to go for a walk in the middle of the night because I wanted to go in by the kids so bad and comfort them. My DH could handle the crying, I could not. After 4 days they were sleeping through the night!!

 

[tatooed goofy]

Stay strong, you are doing the right thing no matter how hard it is.... There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it is just really faint right now. HUGS to you!!! Keep it up!

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

A few hard days will pay off big in the end.
I had a 10 minutes rule with my twins after they turned 6 months and could sleep 6 hours a night. I could stand 10 minutes of crying before checking on them and usually the went back to sleep in that time. I did not do this with their older brother, and they are much better sleeper than he is.
Janell

 

[shaylahc]

If you can get it to work, more power to you. But just a warning....it doesn't work for all kids. We tried desperately to sleep train our 2nd child and she never did give in. With traditional crying it out the children cry less and less every night until they finally go to sleep alone without crying. That day never came with our 2nd DD. She would scream for hours. And this went on for weeks and weeks and weeks. She was almost 2, we had another baby, and she would scream for hours every night. Finally we decided to stick her in bed with her older sister (then 4) and they co-slept peacefully until DD#2 was 3.5 (almost 4) and decided she was ready for her own bed

Truly stubborn children may not be able to be sleep trained.....

 

[crisi]

We "Ferberized" our kids. The idea being that the first night you let them cry for a few minutes before going in and comforting them. Don't rock them or cuddle them. With each visit stretch the time out a little more. The next night you wait longer. This lets them know they aren't alone, mom still comes (just not as fast as she used to). With my son we moved from lying in bed with him, to sitting next to him, to sitting in the room, to sitting in the hall.

We do still cuddle our kids for about a minute before we leave the room.

 

[Camping Griswalds]

You are doing great!! Don't let the guilt get to you. Most parents goals are to raise healthy independant individuals and you are just taking the first step. Also remember some advice I got...A 6 mo can cry/scream a lot longer than a 3 mo...A 16 mo can cry/scream a lot longer than a 6 mo etc...so think of it this way...if you give in now and wait until the baby is 2 they'll really be able to scream/cry for a super long time then.

All that being said, give yourself a hug, tell yourself you are a good parent, and then take a huge glass of wine (NOT "whine") into the shower where you cannot possibly hear a screaming child. Trust me this works!!!!


P.S. Make sure the glass of wine is plastic...we don't want any unfortunate accidents

 

[MayMom]

Thank you to all my senior mothers out there. My sweet baby is actually hoarse from yelling too much! She yelled tonight for over an hour. I just went outside and watered my flowers. It will get better! right?

 

[Zoesmama03]

Aww I've been there. Its been awhile but I've been there.

With my dd around a year she started following in foot steps of the little 20 month old(at the time) that I was watching and started falling asleep at nap time without anything. I'd put them both in the room tell them sleeptime and leave and they'd chit chat(in babble) for awhile and go to sleep.

Finally she was doing this so well I though hey why not try at night. At this time she was just stopping to fall asleep while nursing or taking bottle. She screamed and screamed. So I stood at the foot of her bed the first few nights and didn't talk to her or make any eye contact. She took awhile but eventually got the idea that it was bed time. Then after those few days I stood outside the door and she cried for a couple minutes I was heart broken and opened the door and stood there again with no eye contact or talking to her. She settled back down and eventually fell asleep.

Its a process I now. I took a couple weeks for her to really be consistant but then the slightest scratch in her routine and she would fall back or cry for a couple minutes. About 30 minutes before bedtime start winding down. NO tv dim lights if possible and cuddler or sit and read books or something. I found that a bedtime routine was what helped the most getting her to go to sleep without being nursed, rocked, sung to or any of that. Some light soft music might help calm and soothe so the sleep inducing horomones start peaking up.

Imagine being outside in day light running around and then shut into a dark quite room. Its not too fun so gently easing into a night time sleep is something that will help. Most adults don't go straight from play or work and sleep so they have some relaxing things they do before bed.


Then there are other kids that no matter what you do including crying it out, they don't want to go to sleep.

Hope you can get some sleep soon.

And yes it will get better. The crying should be less and less over time.

 

[stemikger]

I really believe it's the luck of the draw. We only have one child, she is 10 now. Back then we did not know what we were doing and probably did a lot of things wrong, but after 4 months my daughter was sleeping through the night. (I know, we got lucky).

My sister-in-law on the other hand has one son who is 5 years old now and still dosen't sleep. He has been like this since day one. Whenever I see my SIL, she looks like a zombie.

Good Luck and hang in there.

 

[minkydog]

Thank you to all my senior mothers out there. My sweet baby is actually hoarse from yelling too much! She yelled tonight for over an hour. I just went outside and watered my flowers. It will get better! right?

Yes, it will get better. Only a very few college freshmen have to cry it out every night. Be strong