Crying At Work A BIG No-No... But, WWYD? Was I Disrespected?

[AKL_Megs]

First of all, I know, I KNOW.. crying at work is a BIG no-no. Unfortunately, I did.

This is going to be hard to explain, so hopefully everyone can understand.

I am a flight attendant, and when we call in sick, we don't talk to a person face to face, we talk over the phone to a "call center" of sorts. Anyways, I came to work today thinking I could make it. I was diagnosed with Strep Throat four days ago, have been on antibiotics, but come to find out, I am still too sick to work. I thought I was well enough to work, so I came in to work only to find out that I am STILL sick... tired and fatigued.

Anyways, I called the "call center" to call in sick after I have been working all day, and basically, per our contract, was told that if I wanted to go home, I could, but I could expect a disciplinary meeting with my manager when I came back. I don't want to have to fool around with a meeting, since it never works out in our favor, but thought I would catch a compassionate person who would help me out and do me a favor, so I asked if they would please work with me.

Basically, they told me no... either work, or have the meeting.

My emotions got the better of me and I totally broke down and cried on the phone, basically PLEADED with them to let me go home. It wasn't just a small cry, I was bawling and having a hard time catching my breath and all. I had to be transferred to a supervisor, it was that bad.

I am TOTALLY embarassed with myself now.

Anyways, this supervisor was LESS than compassionate with me. In fact, she more or less made me feel like dirt, talked down to me, and made ME feel bad for being sick on company time. It didn't bother me until I looked at this computer "file" that they keep of us that is basically a Cliff's Note about what our phone conversations was about, and how things were handled. Each crew member I fly with, if they needed to, can view these files.

She proceeded to put things like, "She is just trying to get out of work, she started crying and arguing with us, and then cried some more," and then posted another one that says something like, "She was put on hold and then cried and cried some more."

I don't know if I am just feeling terribly embarassed or if I feel that she truly disrespected me and my privacy. ANYONE who wants to can see what she posted... I feel that if I were in the privacy of a supervisors OFFICE when I had this conversation and subsequently cried nobody on the other side of the door would know about it. Now however, any number of the people I fly with this week will have access to the files and the fact that I was crying at work.

Would YOU tell your manager about the unnecessary posting about what happened, or would you chalk it up to being embarassed.

I still just CAN NOT believe how carried away I got!

For what it is worth, it felt good just posting this! A vent was in order!

 

[wdwmom2]

So sorry you are feeling bad, hope you are feeling 100% soon

My personal opinion is that any conversation between you and management, especially about your health, is no one else's business. I feel this is very unprofessional.

 

[snoopybabe]

I think you were disrespected. How callous & cold of them. People are not machines.

I would talk to your boss & bring in a doctors note too. I hope you begin to feel better. Some people just don't understand that people can get sick. Sending a hug your way

 

[Wishing on a star]

First,.....

You are not alone. More people than you think have have probably become emotional at work... and at least yours was with some kind of valid reason... You are feeling very sick!

Yes, the policies and the treatment you received are definitely disrespectful.

And, to top it off, they want you to FLY with a communicable respiratory illness??????

In all honesty, here are my thoughts....

Your employer is not your 'captor'.
If you are ill, follow policy and simply walk out the door.
The fact that you kind of walked into this really stands out to me. You were looking for emotional sympathy from a stranger in a professional work situation.

Let me tell you how I would have handled this....
This is how that would have went down....

First, I would not have 'asked' for permission.
You are free to go home, seek medical treatment, recuperate, etc...
They are not holding a gun to your head.

This is how I would have handled the phone call.
Myself - Hello, this is Wishing on a Star, employee number XXXXXXX. I am very ill and am calling in to check out due to illness.

Rude call center person - Okay, you little crybaby, you can expect to be called into a disciplinary meeting when you return....

Myself - Yes, that will be fine.... I will be there with a detailed written document from my physician. I am leaving work now, as of (the current time). Good-bye.

Click, buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

I KNOW you must have felt very bad, and were upset.
But, sometimes going into a situation like this with a more professional, mature, attitude, can make a difference.

I hope you are feeling better soon!!!
And, I hope that this turns out be less of a deal than you fear.

If not, given your employers policies and treatment of their employees.... I might be considering a change in employment.

 

[Buckalew11]

I would never want to work for people who were so rude and callous. Her comments were over the top, imo, even if you did break down and cry.

Sorry you are going through this and hope you feel better real soon.

 

[LisaMayTX]

Sounds like you were disrespected in a big way. I would also have a huge issue with the notes being open to anyone's view. The only people who should have access to read those notes are you and your manager. I would absolutely have a conversion with your manager - once you're feeling better of course. Just explain to him/her that you were sicker than you thought, and did not appreciate someone making a judgment about you and then basically posting it for all to read.

This kinda makes my blood boil! Good luck!

Lisa

 

[themilesfamily]

And, to top it off, they want you to FLY with a communicable respiratory illness??????

This is what gets me. Wow, they must really care about the health of their passengers. Much less their employees.

Like flight attendants don't put up with enough already.

To OP --

 

[SandrA9810]

that's kind of harsh punishment for trying to go home early because of being sick. I had a problem with getting off early one time for being sick. There's an attendance guideline, pretty easy to follow. late is 1/2 point, calling personal is 1 point, calling sick is 1 point for up to three days straight. In my department getting a release of shift will also give you 1 point (most other's don't do that). I called in sick one day, went to work the next because it was like 6hrs, and did ok. The following day I was even worse, I was wearing my heavy coat in mildly warm weather, could barely stand, and they refused to give me an early release, and had to take an ROS, so I got 2 points in 3 days, 3 points in 30 days is a reprimand.

I've had a couple melt downs at work, one time it was a manager insulting me, then like 20 minutes later came over and tried to be all buddy buddy asking if everything was fine.

I would take it up with your manager about getting that off the record. Your a human... you have emotions, and sometimes people can strike a cord with that emotion... Of course women also have more hormones to set those emotions off. Just don't be embarrased.

 

[kidzmom3]

sorry you were upset. You did know that they type up these notes correct? If the company is following their rules and guidelines, I don't think you should expect special treatment. I am a manager, even with a doctors note, if someone has excessive absenteeism, they get written up. That's our company policy and we follow it to the letter no matter the circumstance.

 

[java]

I cried once at work because I was so very very angry. And betrayed by someone. A coworker tried to steal one of my accounts(institutional sales) I was the only woman too so this was a tough no cry kind of place.- but yep I did. I went into my Manager threw my account file on his desk and said "I am not going to allow you to do things behind my back. My accounts respect me enough to tell me what is going on and if you want him to have this account, if you think he can do a better job. HERE GIVE IT TO HIM!" Now I wasn't sobbing but tearing up. So very very upset. not my best moment.
By the way he never got the account I got a "now don't get so excited. It's nothing" meeting. And then got a big bonus! So sometimes crying is ok.

You were SICK! I would have been crying too. Hoping you are feeling better and I would report the handling of you as soon as you feel better.

 

[Mermaid02]

First of all, I know, I KNOW.. crying at work is a BIG no-no. Unfortunately, I did.

This is going to be hard to explain, so hopefully everyone can understand.

I am a flight attendant, and when we call in sick, we don't talk to a person face to face, we talk over the phone to a "call center" of sorts. Anyways, I came to work today thinking I could make it. I was diagnosed with Strep Throat four days ago, have been on antibiotics, but come to find out, I am still too sick to work. I thought I was well enough to work, so I came in to work only to find out that I am STILL sick... tired and fatigued.

Anyways, I called the "call center" to call in sick after I have been working all day, and basically, per our contract, was told that if I wanted to go home, I could, but I could expect a disciplinary meeting with my manager when I came back. I don't want to have to fool around with a meeting, since it never works out in our favor, but thought I would catch a compassionate person who would help me out and do me a favor, so I asked if they would please work with me.

Basically, they told me no... either work, or have the meeting.

My emotions got the better of me and I totally broke down and cried on the phone, basically PLEADED with them to let me go home. It wasn't just a small cry, I was bawling and having a hard time catching my breath and all. I had to be transferred to a supervisor, it was that bad.

I am TOTALLY embarassed with myself now.

Anyways, this supervisor was LESS than compassionate with me. In fact, she more or less made me feel like dirt, talked down to me, and made ME feel bad for being sick on company time. It didn't bother me until I looked at this computer "file" that they keep of us that is basically a Cliff's Note about what our phone conversations was about, and how things were handled. Each crew member I fly with, if they needed to, can view these files.

She proceeded to put things like, "She is just trying to get out of work, she started crying and arguing with us, and then cried some more," and then posted another one that says something like, "She was put on hold and then cried and cried some more."

I don't know if I am just feeling terribly embarassed or if I feel that she truly disrespected me and my privacy. ANYONE who wants to can see what she posted... I feel that if I were in the privacy of a supervisors OFFICE when I had this conversation and subsequently cried nobody on the other side of the door would know about it. Now however, any number of the people I fly with this week will have access to the files and the fact that I was crying at work.

Would YOU tell your manager about the unnecessary posting about what happened, or would you chalk it up to being embarassed.

I still just CAN NOT believe how carried away I got!

For what it is worth, it felt good just posting this! A vent was in order!

So you were still sick and needed to go home- they prefer you stay there and infect other employees and passengers...... they are the ones that should be ashamed. If I worked with you- I would respect you for wanting to go home and not get the rest of us sick.
I would complain about the treatment received.

 

[Epcot luvr]

I know how you feel. I was an F/A for Delta. You can put something in writing with a doctors note to have in your file, I would do that and then just drop it. With Delta we were nonunion and the rules were very straight forward. I had to do what you did once, sort of. I was on a 2 day and then they needed me to come off that and deadhead and work a turn around. I couldn't I was sick as a dog, they let me off but I got marked as calling in sick even though I completed the 2 day. That put me on doctors notes, ugh. I ended up changing careers. Put something in writing in your file with the doctors note you will be ok. They really just have so many people they are dealing with, they just are not very nice sometimes, scheduling.

 

[Just Jan]

ignore

 

[Just Jan]

thought I started a new thread and i don't know how to delete what I have posted here. HELP

 

[JJZMgailey]

thought I started a new thread and i don't know how to delete what I have posted here. HELP

Just go into edit in the lower right hand corner of your original post & type over it something like "oops, wrong thread"; make sure you copy what you typed though so you won't have to do it all over again!

 

[java]

thought I started a new thread and i don't know how to delete what I have posted here. HELP

Go in to your original post and edit.

Just type IGNORE

No worries!

 

[Disneylover79]

is in order for you... I feel as though your "supervisor" was very disrespectful, I don't think that they should be able to post the conversation. I agree with you and think that it should be private. After you feel better and have time to think about it, you should contact the person higher than the person you talked to, or anyone higher that you feel comfortable talking with. I hope you can get this all figured out and please do not feel bad for crying at work. You are sick and you were just angry at the way they treated you so you had the right to cry. take a deep breath...

 

[OceanAnnie]

Hope you are feeling better.

I would talk to the manager about it. I wouldn't apologize about crying either. I'd be matter of fact about it. You were sick. It was a private conversation. It should stay private. What was the purpose of the call center person posting that you cried? It's odd that the conversations are posted at all. But going to such lengths to embarrass you is unprofessional on her part and she shouldn't get away with it!

Good luck! Let us know how it all turns out.

 

[MiniGirl]

OP, I am a former flight attendant, so I completely understand what you mean about calling in sick to crew scheduling. I haven't worked in years, but it was the same thing when I was working. During times of high sick calls, f/as were always intimidated when calling in sick. I always thought the reasoning was 2-fold. They wanted to man the flights, of course, but also wanted to make sure you were really sick. I don't know if you are in a union or not. If you are, then call your union rep about what happened just so you can start a paper trail. Do you have the names of those you spoke with? Are they on the notes they put in the computer? If not, just go to the meeting with your supervisor and use the crying to your advantage. Something along the lines of..... "I know I shouldn't have cried. I just felt soooo bad that I couldn't help it. I guess it is better I broke down on the phone though than in the middle of the aisle. I really, truly was in a weakened state, and that crying episode just proves it. Yes, I did cry, but I was not argumentative." Also, if you call and apologize for the crying (but not the calling in sick) would that also go on these notes? (Sorry, I am a former f/a, but the whole notes and crewmembers being able to look all this up is foreign to me; and I'll be honest with you..... I don't like it at all. I think it is not a good system.) Finally, remember.... you did the right thing. At no time should you be on the plane serving pax if you are sick. If an FAA inspector was onboard and saw you flying sick, you'd be responsible for the fine -- not your airline.

My personal opinion is that any conversation between you and management, especially about your health, is no one else's business. I feel this is very unprofessional.

That's the thing.... the initial conversation wasn't with management. Also, the "supervisor" who she spoke with later could have been a lead scheduler or something like that. Not necessarily management.

sorry you were upset. You did know that they type up these notes correct? If the company is following their rules and guidelines, I don't think you should expect special treatment. I am a manager, even with a doctors note, if someone has excessive absenteeism, they get written up. That's our company policy and we follow it to the letter no matter the circumstance.

That's just it. Since when does management need to follow the rules? LOL!!! I know the airline I worked with changed the rules (negotiated contract items) at will. I wouldn't be surprised if the OP's airline is the same way. In times of high sick calls (like now with the flu going around), the airline will change the rules. The employee can fight it and not follow the new rule and risk disciplinary action. If the company clearly did not follow the letter of the contract, the employee would get his/her job back. Of course, until the hearing, which could be 6 months or more down the road, the employee is out of work. Another thing that would happen is the union would fight the new rule. It would go to arbitration. The company would lose and have to go back to the contract. By then though, the crisis is over and manning the airline is no longer a problem. Point is that it is possible crew scheduling was not following the guidelines set in place. We really don't know. Also, since the OP went back to work, this counts as an additional sick call. So 2 sick calls for 1 occurance. It could be that she was just trying to get a scheduler that would acknowledge this was not really an additional sick call, but just an extension of the previous one.

OP, please keep me posted as to what happens -- even if it means a PM to me, okay. I can't really be more than an ear to listen to, but I do understand and I have been there. In fact, with a sickness that resulted in 2 sick calls just like yours because I went back to work and then relapsed. After that, I always stayed out an additional trip just to make sure I really was better. It worked out fine for me, and I hope it does for you, too.

 

[kimmar067]

...wow, just wow....... what kind of strange policy to allow other employees access to a recorded telephone conversation!!! That is totally ludicrous! Are you in a union?? If so, I would contact your union rep IMMEDIATELY! BTW ~ hope you are feeling better.....