Cruising with dementia

[kirstenb1]

Sorry, I forgot to post our background. My in laws live in Virginia Beach, not near the oceanfront. We rented a cottage down there twice this year. My inlaws were able to come over during the day, and enjoy some family time. MIL is in what I would say are the latter stages. She no longer recognizes FIL. She thinks he has invaded her house and wants to kill her. She was actually fairly lucid at Thanksgiving, during one of our stays. So her disease progressed really quickly.

 

[bumbershoot]

The relative has always wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise...

Is the Cruise important or the cruise line? You open up schedules and different budgets for this year if you include other lines.

A friend took a multi generation Alaska cruise on princess and everyone loved it. We loved our royal cruise to Alaska.

I normally always do trip insurance! To many risks out there.

Just make sure it's the kind that covers pre existing conditions. Which means buying it quickly after the initial deposit.


My MIL has a long term diagnosis/prognosis of vascular dementia. Got the diagnosis in 2012 and here we are and while it's progressing it's going very very slowly. My grandmother took 10 agonizing years to fall into Alzheimer's fully. Yiu just do not know how long any one person is going to have.

If you can swing it this summer, even if it's in another line for schedule or the budget's sake, I would do it.

 

[bumbershoot]

Sorry, I forgot to post our background. My in laws live in Virginia Beach, not near the oceanfront. We rented a cottage down there twice this year. My inlaws were able to come over during the day, and enjoy some family time. MIL is in what I would say are the latter stages. She no longer recognizes FIL. She thinks he has invaded her house and wants to kill her. She was actually fairly lucid at Thanksgiving, during one of our stays. So her disease progressed really quickly.

That is just so sad. I hope he has a ton of support and respite relief.

 

[kirstenb1]

That is just so sad. I hope he has a ton of support and respite relief.

Thank you! MIL has been at a memory care facility for several weeks. She is doing much better there and seems to like it. She did have a colon surgery last week, but is recovering from that surprisingly well. I feel like FIL is finally getting a break, although he really struggled with putting her in a facility, it really has been the best choice for both of them.

 

[Chernabog#1fan]

Thank you all very much for all of the information. Knowing him the way I do and his personality without dementia, I think he could get fairly agitated with trying to fly out to Alaska and transfers for flights. We have decided if we do any trip this year, we are going to do the Canadian one in October on the Magic. It would be a much shorter flight and nonstop.

Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with me. I have not encountered a relative having dementia before, so I can only imagine at this point what you all have been through and I am so sorry that each of you have had this experience.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Thank you all very much for all of the information. Knowing him the way I do and his personality without dementia, I think he could get fairly agitated with trying to fly out to Alaska and transfers for flights. We have decided if we do any trip this year, we are going to do the Canadian one in October on the Magic. It would be a much shorter flight and nonstop.

Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with me. I have not encountered a relative having dementia before, so I can only imagine at this point what you all have been through and I am so sorry that each of you have had this experience.

That sounds like a good plan. Cruising in October means fewer kids on board. My sister with Alzheimer's gets real agitated around young noisy kids. Two of her grand sons played football and the family stopped taking her to games because she can't handle the crowd noise.

 

[Pandafamily]

I recommend that you and your family read the book " 36 Hour Day". It will help with understanding the disease and how it will progress. My mother also suffers from Alzheimer's. It is truly a horrible disease.

 

[traveln4fun]

I have to agree with the previous posters, do it as soon as possible. I would also recommend a few things, a shorter cruise might be better since you don't know how this person will react to the water, motion of the ship or overall change in daily living. They may request a specific cruise, but they might not be aware of that request when the cruise arrives. Also, get an accessible room if possible, in case they would need assistance in the shower and a not so cramped toilet area. One last thing, look into taking a wheelchair with you whether they need it or not. It comes in very handy getting them from one area to another, especially if the ship is rocking at all and it gives you more control over them wandering or trying to walk away from you. Also, make an ID card with the person's name, cabin #, and state that they have dementia and should not be left alone if found, and include your name and room # and put it in a plastic pouch on a lanyard for them to wear. I hope you are able to take your loved on on a cruise soon so that you can make some great memories.

 

[ladyofthetramp]

Thank you all very much for all of the information. Knowing him the way I do and his personality without dementia, I think he could get fairly agitated with trying to fly out to Alaska and transfers for flights. We have decided if we do any trip this year, we are going to do the Canadian one in October on the Magic. It would be a much shorter flight and nonstop.

Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with me. I have not encountered a relative having dementia before, so I can only imagine at this point what you all have been through and I am so sorry that each of you have had this experience.

Sounds like a great plan and a beautiful place to cruise. I hope you have a wonderful time together.

 

[mom4mad]

My grandfather had Alzheimer's. At his request we took him on train ride to San Diego and 1 night in hotel. It was not easy. I don't think we could have done a cruise. Go now if at all possible.

 

[littledebbie335]

She no longer recognizes FIL. She thinks he has invaded her house and wants to kill her. She was actually fairly lucid at Thanksgiving, during one of our stays. So her disease progressed really quickly.

A similar thing happened with my grandfather. He has been slipping, but hiding it (quite well, I might add) until he got into a minor fender bender because he became disoriented while driving and then couldn't tell the police officer his address. His decline was slow from there on out until one night when basically snapped: he didn't recognize his wife of 50+ years and became angry and aggressive towards her. I was a teenager at the time so I didn't get all the details of this event, but I know it was terrifying for my grandmother and that he went by ambulance to a hospital with a memory care facility, and from there, was in a skilled nursing facility for several years until his death.

TL;DR: Just be aware that small slips can quickly and unexpectedly turn into a huge decline. Appreciate the time that you have now, but be aware that this is an illness that can change on a day-to-day basis. In case something goes wrong on the cruise, please have a back-up plan (make sure you have insurance that covers medical evacuation, for example).

I hope you have many more good days with your family member ahead of you, and that you have a wonderful cruise!

 

[disneymath]

To the OP, many others have given great advice and I am in the camp of do it asap. That said, can I suggest that you perhaps arrange a "short getaway" of a night or two somewhere relatively close to home shortly before you would need to cancel or pay in full just to see how things go in unfamiliar surroundings. My aunt, who has dementia, has travelled the world and has gone on short vacations with with my parents and I for years. Over the past few, however, we'v gone from being able to handle a week or so far from home where she was fine in her own hotel room, to no more than a night or two much closer to home and staying together in a suite a la Homewood or Residence Inn.

 

[Chernabog#1fan]

To the OP, many others have given great advice and I am in the camp of do it asap. That said, can I suggest that you perhaps arrange a "short getaway" of a night or two somewhere relatively close to home shortly before you would need to cancel or pay in full just to see how things go in unfamiliar surroundings. My aunt, who has dementia, has travelled the world and has gone on short vacations with with my parents and I for years. Over the past few, however, we'v gone from being able to handle a week or so far from home where she was fine in her own hotel room, to no more than a night or two much closer to home and staying together in a suite a la Homewood or Residence Inn.

That is a good idea!

 

[ladyofthetramp]

^^^ This is a good idea. Additionally, when a loved one with this disease becomes ill or plans change, their ability to deal with where they are or the situation they find themselves in can disappear as the previous poster described. The small incident or a minor infection, can cause a huge decline. Check carefully with your travel insurance, so that you will be covered for anything that might come up.