Cross Post-DCL Wedding- What would you do?

[OhhShiney]

(I posted this on the weddings/honeymoon thread, but realized this board gets far more traffic, so hopefully more people with an opinion will see it here!)

So my future hubby and I (mostly me, hes very laid back and would be happy to just go to the courthouse) are trying to figure out a small destination wedding (it was going to be an elopement, but then certain people invited themselves-so back to the drawing board we went.)
In an effort to make things easier on everyone (and especially me), we're leaning towards a DCL wedding, however, I'm not over the moon with their onboard options-so we're also researching independent onshore options on a Fantasy Western Caribbean route(during star wars sailings).
We're trying to not talk to much about weddings with friends, for various reasons, or family (see above self-inviting issues -also control issues) until we have a more concrete plan in place. Therefore, I'm seeking some help from the hive mind.
As of now, we're tossing around three options:

A) Day 3- On Shore -Cozumel. (830-430)
PROS: Found a location/package (Mr Sanchos) I'm pretty fond of.
Some wonderful photoshoot locations on the wild side of island
USD is decently strong against the Mexican Peso
Cozumel is *very* rarely missed.
Don't have to tender!
CONS: Pirate night is this night. (I love dressing up for pirate night-may be sad about having to take my dress of so soon, or I might be dying to change-this could go either way)
This will be the day after my birthday. (that seems odd...will people think its odd?)

B) Day 4-On Shore - Grand Cayman (1030-530)
PROS: May be able to wear dress longer (no pirate night to change for)
Found some nice location options (smiths cove, especially)
Photos in "Hell!"
Late arrival time (1030am) gives me a window to not worry about rushing getting ready.
CONS: A huge number of people from multiple ships in port (over 17,500pax)
We're the last ship to arrive.
This port seems to get missed enough to make me nervous.
USD is a bit weak compared to the Cayman dollar.
Have to tender!
Nice location options aren't quite as private as I'd prefer
Not finding as many around the island photo spots
We would really enjoy spending the day snorkeling in Grand Cayman.

C) On board ceremony, ideally Day 4 or 5, early evening
PROS: Easiest to coordinate options.
I don't hate the outlook lounge.
Wouldn't have to worry about taking care of legalities before boarding.
Meridan Patio looks kinda ok
Don't have to find my own coordinator
Would allow me to book an inpark photo session in wedding clothes (yes its alot of money...but hollywood tower hotel pics....**)
Day 5 is my preferred anniversary date, because its basically halfway between our birthdays, but ultimately, i'm just being a little crazy and know that either 18,19,20 would all be completely fine.
DCL already does naked wedding cakes, so at least one thing I don't have to negotiate!
CONS: Not interested in/don't need many of the inclusions.
I don't love the outlook lounge.
I can't find many reference images of the Meridan patio set up for a wedding
Stuck with whatever coordinator they give me
Disney weddings aren't know for flexibility
Limits choices for Photography and videography
I've tried reaching out Disney Fairytale Weddings, and their responses....leave something to be desired (I feel like I'm getting automated replies that don't touch on my actual questions.)
There's no actual guarantee on location/date/time until 45 days out (and even after that , it can be changed)

So what would you do? If you were a guest, what would you prefer? Are there any considerations I haven't thought of? Have any ideas for options I maybe haven't considered? Please help this over thinking bride to be.



SOME BASIC NOTES:

I have nothing against getting married in Jamaica, I just can't find a location that really speaks to me near Falmouth. If you have suggestions, PLEASE share!

Although I do like the idea of the ceremony in the sand, I don't really want to do Castaway Cay because I will feel like I'm "stealing" that day from my guests. I love Castaway, and I want everyone to enjoy it with their families in whatever way they would like. (It's also the last day of the cruise, so I would have longer to obsess over things, and a higher chance of sunburn).

Neither sea day is an option. (the first is my birthday, the second is stars wars day, and we don't want to miss that/cause our guests to miss that.

Our birthdays are about 9 days apart, and I would like a date between them (for purely practical reasons- we like to take a birthday trip yearly, and i'd like to be able to combine that with an anniversary trip)

I am aware that DCL requires a basic legal ceremony to be held on embarkation day, and then they perform a symbolic ceremony later. (we have a small guest list of people close to us, all of whom have had some experience with "symbolic" weddings that have taken place after legal ones. Nobody is going to feel cheated or lied to- nor will we keep this info a secret from them)
I will try to take a quick scouting trip to the chosen location before the wedding (hopefully with FI, but his schedule may not allow for it)-and may drop off some decor items, linens, etc with the planner (assuming its an on shore location). (the on location check is something I hope to be able to do, in part because I've never actually planned a wedding where I couldn't do a venue walk through, and also because I have moderate allergic reaction to a family of plants that tend to be prevalent in tropical landscaping, and I'd rather my wedding day not involve an epi-pen-I've learned to only trust pictures so far)

Even though it will be "short notice" by typical destination wedding standards (and not the cheapest trip for anyone), we're expecting 15-20 people (some of which will be kids). I assure you that number has been arrived at from careful analysis of relevant facts, as things currently stand. If more people choose to come, that's fine. If fewer people, also completely cool.

Of course, ALL of this, is assuming that life/cruising is back to somewhat normal by winter.

(Yes, Im an overthinker/planner. I've been a event designer/wedding planner for the better part of the past decade, Im MUCH better at helping other people make choices, than making my own apparently)

 

[Karin1984]

Based on above, I would go for Cozumel. If the only con is that you can't wear your wedding dress as long: Look for ways to incorporate your dress for pirate night. Use acccessories to upgrade from regular bride to pirate bride. It might depend a bit on your dress how far you can take it, but I think with most styles you should be able to find a way. Look at Offbeatbride.com for inspiration, they have examples of pirate weddings. It's easy to add a sash.

Also don't underestimate having a good location for your wedding pictures. It's what will keep your memories alive in years to come.
And on a personal note, maybe more for park-brides than cruise-brides, all the pictures of the Disney brides look the same to me, as they all have to use the same photographers who have been instructed to only take certain shots. With having it outside of Disney you have better opportunities to give your pictures a personal touch. Im not married yet, but when I think of my wedding pictures I do not want the exactly same cookie cutter pictures a thousand brides have done before me. But that's me

How you write about your 3 different options, I have a feeling you have already decided. But what helps me with big decisions is to think about how I would look back on a decision. Think of being in the future 10 years from now and look back at your wedding. Would there be a location you would regret not using or your wedding?
One more tip: Make a clear distinction between your wants and your needs, (or 'must-haves' versus, 'nice-to-haves'). What can you do without: "I need good pictures", "I want easy coordination" or the other way around. What element are you willing to compromise on?

 

[WishUponAStarryNight]

I’d pick C, if only because you can’t be sure you’ll make it to every port as scheduled. Grand Cayman, in particular, is missed quite often.

 

[OhhShiney]

Based on above, I would go for Cozumel. If the only con is that you can't wear your wedding dress as long: Look for ways to incorporate your dress for pirate night. Use acccessories to upgrade from regular bride to pirate bride. It might depend a bit on your dress how far you can take it, but I think with most styles you should be able to find a way. Look at Offbeatbride.com for inspiration, they have examples of pirate weddings. It's easy to add a sash.

Also don't underestimate having a good location for your wedding pictures. It's what will keep your memories alive in years to come.
And on a personal note, maybe more for park-brides than cruise-brides, all the pictures of the Disney brides look the same to me, as they all have to use the same photographers who have been instructed to only take certain shots. With having it outside of Disney you have better opportunities to give your pictures a personal touch. Im not married yet, but when I think of my wedding pictures I do not want the exactly same cookie cutter pictures a thousand brides have done before me. But that's me

How you write about your 3 different options, I have a feeling you have already decided. But what helps me with big decisions is to think about how I would look back on a decision. Think of being in the future 10 years from now and look back at your wedding. Would there be a location you would regret not using or your wedding?
One more tip: Make a clear distinction between your wants and your needs, (or 'must-haves' versus, 'nice-to-haves'). What can you do without: "I need good pictures", "I want easy coordination" or the other way around. What element are you willing to compromise on?

You are wonderful!
Thank you so much for such a helpful and detailed answer. You're right - I was starting to realize, as I was re-reading my post, that I really do have a clear first choice
And Thank you for mentioning the photo location/disney photographer style issue. Photography is one of the most important things to me, I can do the leg work ahead of time to find a coordinator for everything I can't do myself, but I won't get a second chance at day of pictures, and I don't want to look back and regret choosing easier planning over awesome images.
I never even thought to look for pirate inspiration on offbeatbride (i've been researching other geeky inspiration there though)- thank you!!

 

[lilmc]

I am aware that DCL requires a basic legal ceremony to be held on embarkation day,

Wouldn’t your legal anniversary day be embarkation day then?

 

[FigmentSpark]

About your date... your future hubby will either always remember your birthday and anniversary (shared gifts) or remember neither.

All your options sound great. Since you said you were planning an elopement, have you thought of just doing a pre-boarding wedding in Port Canaveral and then the ship part is the honeymoon and celebration with your guests?

 

[PrincessShmoo]

so we're also researching independent onshore options on a Fantasy Western Caribbean route(during star wars sailings).

Just be aware, if they have to skip your port, all this planning could be moot. Be sure to clarify what happens if the ship doesn't port.

 

[Starwind]

A couple thoughts...

If you go with the DCL route, get DCL Special Services involved regarding the allergy. Even if they ultimately say it is in the hands of the wedding planning people, at least you have engaged them and given them the opportunity to be involved. Their contact info (email, phone) is in the "request special services" section of this webpage: https://disneycruise.disney.go.com/guest-services/guests-with-disabilities/ I have never done a DCL wedding, but have sailed 8 times with DCL and have multiple anaphylaxsis food allergies, additional food sensitivities, as well as numerous environmental sensitivities. Special Services has been wonderful in handling our allergy and medical requests and I have always found them to be knowledgeable and pleasant to deal with. We've had some questions that they have answered which demonstrated they have the ability to contact the on board ship and Castaway Cay teams to obtain answers when needed.

Second, a lesson I learned when getting married: if you can avoid it, try not to have legal marriages take place in different countries than you are living in, as it can complicate things [both marriages and divorces]. When I got married, my soon to be husband had been married and divorced in the US, but we were getting married in Canada. Because the marriage and divorce were from out of the country, we had to go to an Ontario lawyer who had to certify that they were both valid and that he was free to marry (and it wasn't a simple process, we had the legal documents, but they also had to do research and an entire write-up about why they were valid etc), and then send that to a specific office in the provincial government who then wrote us a letter giving us permission to get married [well, I suppose it was technically giving permission to apply for the marriage licence]. As you can imagine this came at some expense and took a chunk of time - and luckily I had discovered this requirement well in advance of the planned wedding date.

While I know you are planning a wedding and not expecting to get divorced or otherwise be in a position where you may encounter a similar kind of regulation, it may be worthwhile to give consideration to avoiding the issue entirely by marrying in the US and then having a symbolic ceremony at whichever of the choices you decide on.

SW

 

[lklgoodman]

We've done 2 WC cruises in Jan. First cruise we missed GC. Second time we missed GC and Jamaica. We also did a EC cruise that was to go to St. Maarten and that also was missed. You may think missing a port doesn't happen very often, but we've done 6 cruises and have missed ports during 3 of them. Most likely you wouldn't miss a port, but what would you do if you do??? Congrats and best of luck with your decision.

 

[Kirsty_Lou]

My sister did a DCL wedding a few years back and they schedule them for sea days (they did then). There was no choice in days, just told it would be the first available sea day depending on other weddings. She was the only one that cruise which was perfect as they roped the whole back of the magic off for us (just 5 of us lol) and it was perfect sunshine and glorious Mediterranean sea as far as the eye could see. It was an amazing day, nothing could have been better! She was extremely well taken care of, had fabulous photos all over the ship and got to wear her dress all day...which was just what she wanted lol! I'd say go for the Disney wedding as it was magical, but I accept not what everyone wants

 

[lorimay]

I think onboard is your safest choice.
The thought of missing the port you are suppose to be married at would scare me.

We did a very low-key vow renewal back in 2012 on The Magic for our 25th.
It was just us, our kids, their significant others and our grandkids, it was perfect.
We did on Deck 7 outside (which is no longer there )
DCL made is so easy, it was handled before we boarded. We met with the coordinator the day we boarded to go over everything.
We used DCL photography, they were fine, but if you can, bring your own photographer onboard, go that route.

I have seen brides that have been able to have the ceremony in the atrium, which looked amazing.
I think you need to ask for permission for that.
@lurkyloo has a podcast with DCL brides, she also had an e-book that will be very helpful to you.

Good Luck & Congratulations!!!

 

[belle032]

We got married on another cruise line in August 2017 and had a wonderful experience. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

So we actually had the ceremony and reception on embarkation day before the ship even left port. Our ceremony was in an aft lounge and reception in the night club. I know that option isn't for everyone, but what was great about it was we could have guests come to the wedding and not actually sail. About 45-ish people attended the wedding and 30 or so sailed with us. It also allowed the wedding to be legalized in Florida. I am also the type of person who wanted to get the whole thing done and over with so I could enjoy the rest of the cruise stress-free. And I wanted to eat & drink with no worries!

We thought about getting married at port as well, however, we nixed the idea after thinking about all of the actual logistics of not making it to port, having to do most myself, transportation, the time frame, etc.

If you're worried about photos and venue options, I wouldn't be. Our photos turned out beautifully all over the ship, especially on deck. Venue wise: you're in your ceremony venue for such a short time I wouldn't dwell too much on it. Oh and other guests are so nice and excited for you! I wore my dress through dinner and we got so much positive attention. We actually were chosen for the Love & Marriage show one night and so many people remembered us, it was hysterical.

However, if you're set on having the wedding in a port, I would choose Cozumel. Mr. Sanchos is really pretty (we did an all-inclusive beach day there on our last cruise), but I'm not sure where they hold the actual ceremony! And who cares if it's Pirate Night? Rock your dress with some pirate-y elements or don't worry about it. It's your day! Oh and no, literally no one will bat an eye about your birthday and anniversary being so close!

Honestly, I would skip Grand Cayman. Actually getting into that port is SO iffy. It's probably one of the most missed due to tendering.

My votes: tie between Cozumel & Onboard!

 

[Chrissy-Mickey]

it was going to be an elopement, but then certain people invited themselves-so back to the drawing board we went.

Throw the drawing board in the trash and elope like you and your fiance wanted. It's your day, not the day of the 'certain people' who invited themselves.

 

[Chemist]

My advice is not to get hung up on perfect.

Something will go wrong, its a given. I'd go into the mindset with the idea that if you end up married at the end of the day it was successful! (And given those parameters, I'd go shipboard.)

 

[hrhdhd]

I went to Mr. Sanchos once and was utterly unimpressed. I don't know how they do weddings, but they don't do beach days well, so I'd have low expectations.

 

[MomOTwins]

Of those options, I would absolutely do the wedding on the ship. I feel like we have know way of knowing what ports will be deemed "okay" by DCL when they resume cruising (and which ports will accept US visitors). You can't put a price on a stress-free experience. I have never seen a wedding on the Meridian patio, but I will say it is one of my favorite places of the ship. Nothing but beautiful views all around.

That said, if I were you, I'd maybe think again about Castaway Cay. Seems much less likely it is a missed port (and if it is, then DCL can switch to an alternate onboard wedding unlike if you book a port wedding with a third party). If your guests are going to pay for a Disney Cruise with everything going on, it is because they really want to be there for your wedding day and nobody is going to be disappointed that they miss an hour or so of beach time... especially in the winter when it might be too cold to swim (Falmouth is further south so might be better for a beach day anyway).

 

[monkeydawn]

As someone who had a destination wedding specifically to avoid certain family members that would have to be invited and would have come if in my hometown, I'd say look carefully at who invited themselves and if its worth the aggravation of including them. I dont mean to sound as if I wanted no family at my wedding as we absolutely wanted certain people but we also knew they would make the effort to travel (and they did). If some people you dont want invited themselves, then I agree with the PP and elope as planned. You can still do a celebration party on your cruise.

All that said, given all the uncertainties surrounding COVID Id be really hesitant to plan a wedding ceremony in another country, you have the usual docking issues but what if something else comes up? I'd also look really hard at cancellation policies of the on shore venues you are considering. Having to pay even if you dont dock would be a non starter for me. I'd probably lean towards on the ship because you know that should be more easily refundable if the trip goes sideways.

 

[monkeydawn]

As someone who had a destination wedding specifically to avoid certain family members that would have to be invited and would have come if in my hometown, I'd say look carefully at who invited themselves and if its worth the aggravation of including them. I dont mean to sound as if I wanted no family at my wedding as we absolutely wanted certain people but we also knew they would make the effort to travel (and they did). If some people you dont want invited themselves, then I agree with the PP and elope as planned. You can still do a celebration party on your cruise.

All that said, given all the uncertainties surrounding COVID Id be really hesitant to plan a wedding ceremony in another country, you have the usual docking issues but what if something else comes up? I'd also look really hard at cancellation policies of the on shore venues you are considering. Having to pay even if you dont dock would be a non starter for me. I'd probably lean towards on the ship because you know that should be more easily refundable if the trip goes sideways.

 

[gotomu212]

One question on the wedding dress- is it an obvious wedding dress or could it be a normal formal dress? Like the parks Disney has a policy that you can’t wear your wedding dress on board if you don’t have a Disney wedding. We have actually seen them tell someone taking pictures in their dress that they could not be in the public areas. (It’s their whole thing about ensuring there’s only 1 bride and brides aren’t running into each other, and part of how they just the wedding up sale).

If it can be considered a “formal” you’d be fine, but if the only thing holding you back from Cozumel is not wearing your dress that might not be an issue for you.

 

[otten]

I would go with on-board. Ports can always get missed at any time but I think especially when cruises start sailing again we will see more missed ports than usua.