My heart goes out to you and your children, I just cannot even begin to imagine the pain and stress you are dealing with. I pray God will give you the strength you need to get through these next few days, weeks, months...time will help to heal. Just take it one day at a time.
As for the suit, I totally agree with everyone else. When one of my Mom's friends passed away it was her wish to be buried in her favorite nightgown and robe and that's what her children put her in.