Craziest table mates you have had.

[KristenRB]

Remembered seeing a link to a video of such activities on DCL on an old post. Here is a sample of a day in the life... http://youtu.be/TXrNr1Cuypk

This is the most disturbing things I've ever seen.

 

[KYDIZFAN]

Once we had table mates from Japan. Our Japanese is non-existent, their English was limited. We probably said 20 words during a 7 night cruise. We have seen this couple on 3 cruises since then, they always say hello, hugs and smiles all around. Just goes to prove that Disney is the universal language.

 

[SashaFarce]

This has come up with my husband and me before, and I would like to know the etiquette on this, if you don't mind. If your tablemates do not care to participate in Grace, are they to sit quietly while you pray, or can they eat or continue talking? I honestly am curious, and hope this doesn't sound rude. I'm genuinely interested, because I have no problem if Grace is brief (we're talking Catholic brief), but in my experience, there is nothing brief about some religions' versions of Grace (personal experience, based on the extended family I married into). Thanks, if you feel like answering.

If it's a few lines, fine, I can wait, but if it goes on, I'm going to start in on my food or resume my conversation. If they are particularly longwinded, I'm asking to be moved because I'm not comfortable with that.

 

[KaryCam]

OK, so I timed how long DH said grace for this evening. It was about 15 seconds. That doesn't seem that long.
On our first cruise we were sat with two other families. It didn't matter to us whether they paused or just started eating. That's their choice.
On our second cruise we got a table by ourselves but didn't request it.
For our next cruise I am looking forward to being seated with tablemates again.
We are pretty easy going people. I just stay away from talking politics and religion.

Oh, on our first cruise, the families we sat with were a couple with a 12 y.o. daughter and a mother and 13 y.o. daughter. We were a couple with a 12 y.o. son. Needless to say, he didn't talk with the girls much at all. All the adults were very nice.

 

[AlexandNessa]

Thanks for the responses. Catholic Grace is really brief, and I can sit through that quietly & politely, no problem. A quick blessing of food is one thing. My husband's extended family is what I not-so-politely call "Jesus Bullies." The kind that make you hold hands, bow your heads, and then recite a litany of everything they are grateful for and who needs to be watched over, etc., before every meal. And you don't have a choice. My husband and I both hate it, but tolerate it since they are family. I'm not sure I could handle that on a cruise with strangers, however. Always wondered the etiquette on this.

 

[delsdad]

So you were on DCL in one of the MDR's and NOT at Macaroni Grill?? Because using the crayons on the "tablecloths" there is perfectly acceptable ... Maybe he was confused

Crayons on the tablecloth seems to be acceptable in the DCL MDRs as we'll. on three of out cruises it was the waiters or head server who started the kids colouring the tablecloth! Apparently the crayons they use are specially washable. On the last cruise, my dd10 started the colouring. She got her table mate (10) into it as well, drawing pictures of the food they were going to order. The servers loved it, and joined in. The head server came by, feigned shock, saying "the laundry men are not going to be happy", then broke into a big grin. Every night he added his own artwork to what the girls were drawing!

 

[Freesia123]

Amen, We should cruise together, oh wait I think we already are in about 85 days!

Actually, I'm not sure that would work out. I am from Quebec after all and you said you wouldn't be seen with anyone wearing A Canadiens shirt....

 

[Twinkledust]

I seriously think there should be a table mate selection criteria. Here is twindaddy's. I fully admit my biases:

1. Are you going to be more than 15 minutes past the assigned seating time EVERY night?

2. Are you going to be rude, demeaning, or feel you are better than our serving staff?

If so, we are not a match. Just about anything else, other than flossing or toe sucking, I can work with.

I mean, who knows, maybe toes taste good? And who isnt in favor of good dental hygiene?

I have to say that this has got to be one of my favorite threads...I feel a NEED to look for it every 2-3days!

Twindaddy - not sure if it's a regional thing or not, but I'm hoping that one day we will cruise together!

I really do my best not to judge (and sometime fail, miserably...) but now I'm wondering if we were the ones to chase off our table mates on our 2nd cruise. They disappeared after the 2nd night... only to kind of reappear the final Night, but it was only the dad and the dd (I say 'kind of' because it was a really rough sea night and even my DH and DD left early). Not sure what we may have done...

Now I'm rethinking everything that we have done.... but we are who we are! Honest, non- pretentious people who enjoy vacation!!!

 

[PammyK]

Thanks for the responses. Catholic Grace is really brief, and I can sit through that quietly & politely, no problem. A quick blessing of food is one thing. My husband's extended family is what I not-so-politely call "Jesus Bullies." The kind that make you hold hands, bow your heads, and then recite a litany of everything they are grateful for and who needs to be watched over, etc., before every meal. And you don't have a choice. My husband and I both hate it, but tolerate it since they are family. I'm not sure I could handle that on a cruise with strangers, however. Always wondered the etiquette on this.

Well, in my opinion, it is poor etiquette to make your tablemates uncomfortable with an overly long pre-dinner prayer. If you generally offer a protracted, spoken grace before a meal and will be having tablemates who may or may not share your beliefs/practices, I think good etiquette would have you either ask your tablemates if they would be comfortable joining you, say grace as a family in a more private setting to ensure that you are not making your tablemates uncomfortable, or make your grace a brief bowed head/"bless this meal and those who prepared and serve it" prayer instead of the 5 minute dissertation that might be the norm when you are at home.

If you do not say grace, it would be polite to try to maintain a respectful silence during your tablemates' prayers, provided they keep it a reasonable length of time. After all, even if you are an athiest, you can still offer thanks/good thoughts for those who have prepared and are serving you the meal.

 

[fnrsgrl]

Well, in my opinion, it is poor etiquette to make your tablemates uncomfortable with an overly long pre-dinner prayer. If you generally offer a protracted, spoken grace before a meal and will be having tablemates who may or may not share your beliefs/practices, I think good etiquette would have you either ask your tablemates if they would be comfortable joining you, say grace as a family in a more private setting to ensure that you are not making your tablemates uncomfortable, or make your grace a brief bowed head/"bless this meal and those who prepared and serve it" prayer instead of the 5 minute dissertation that might be the norm when you are at home.

If you do not say grace, it would be polite to try to maintain a respectful silence during your tablemates' prayers, provided they keep it a reasonable length of time. After all, even if you are an athiest, you can still offer thanks/good thoughts for those who have prepared and are serving you the meal.

This. On both points. I am a Christian, and I have never understood why people feel a need to make a big deal out of a pre-meal prayer. It has always felt to me like it was more of an attempt to show others what a good Christian you are than any kind of sincere spirituality. It would definitely not be appropriate to subject someone else to your ten minute mini-service of a prayer. Do that on your own time, in a private space. That said, it's definitely rude not to be respectful of someone else's religious practices. You don't have to be silent, but you shouldn't be loud and boisterous and disrupt their prayer either.

 

[sorceressk]

If it's a few lines, fine, I can wait, but if it goes on, I'm going to start in on my food or resume my conversation. If they are particularly longwinded, I'm asking to be moved because I'm not comfortable with that.

I just eat. It's none of my business what others do before/with/during/after their food. In fact, unless I'm specifically asked to join in the prayer, I will go ahead and eat even when a member of my party is doing their thing. I also don't wait for everyone to get their food. I'm more of the "European" persuasion: it's offensive to the chef if you don't eat it straight away, while it's hot.

 

[midwestpat]

This thread is enough to give a girl a complex. So, I may get to a table and find crazy baby people who suck toes and floss when they are finished. Or, if my dinner mates aren't crazy then I have to face that I might be the *one in every crowd."

I have to face I can be dumped as a dinner mate for:

1. Not drinking
2. Drinking [particularly if my consumption is more than whatever arbitrary quantity the assigned table mate decides is too much]
3. Not talking
4. Talking about any topic that my assigned companion finds dull, uninteresting or on the wrong side of a political fence.
5. Not sharing enough directly to conversation.
6. Sharing too much.
7. Speaking too much to my family.
8. Not speaking enough to my family and therefore suggesting we are not getting along.
9. Not liking my food and asking for another meal.
10. Not being selective enough in my ordering and getting too much food
11. Being too picky about my food.
12. Having a hobby that the assigned companion thinks is weird.
13. Having too large of an age gap with my husband.
14. Saying grace before my meal. (I could also imagine if I were willing to not say grace that I could still potentially offend someone at the table).
and I imagine that my wardrobe choice could also merit being jettisoned, if I am too formal or too casual depending on the night.

To think, these are just the fatal faux pas that I can commit on my own. Double the list for my spouse and add in all the havoc a child can put into the situation if he wants to visit with the other party's child..or worse if he doesn't. Don't even get me going on the manners issue - if he uses them will we be called *snobby* if he doesn't we will be uncouth. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Any one issue and we will be doing the walk of shame to another table. Then you have a whole other opportunity to be rejected again. Is there a cut off point where you are just deemed a dinner failure by the crew and seated by yourself?

Then you still have to deal with the awkwardness of seeing the *dumpers* again...what if they are on the same shore excursions? Or seated next to you in a show? Do you pretend that you have never met? What if their cabin is near yours - and you find yourself on the same elevator?

Add it all together and I think maybe I should just plan on alot of buffet dinners and room service on the cruise to save the therapy bills after we get home.

I'm loving this thread, it's too fun not to check back on it every day or so. And I applaud you for pulling together all the opinions that demonstrate we are all different people and just need to be accepting of each other (short of being asked to care for fake babies or watch a mom's use a knife to stop their kid from doing something).

As I have read through this, in pieces over several days, some posts did hit a bit too close to home. I also was taken back by the idea that an age gap between husband and wife would be offensive, or being older parents with a young child. Because much like you, Karlzmom, I/we fit in those categories. In our case, I am older and DH is younger (not a huge age difference, but enough) and I had already raised 3 kids before DD was born. As others have said though, I suppose if that bothers whomever is seated as our tablemates, that will be their problem and they will have to be the ones to go ask to be moved. DH and DD both are introverts who prefer not to engage in small talk every night with people we don't know anyway, so that works for me!

 

[cgolf]

We have had one set of tablemates that had many varying issues, and were never going to cruise DCL again, complained about everything, etc, etc. Since it was a 16 night cruise we made the best of it and nights they weren't there we joked about it and made the best of what wasn't a great situation. It didn't help we had what I could only assume was newer servers, so they were super nervous when this family was there, I actually felt really bad for them.

We haven't seen any truly horrible behavior yet, but generally I try to ignore that kind of thing and enjoy my own time and not let others impact that.

 

[twindaddy]

This has come up with my husband and me before, and I would like to know the etiquette on this, if you don't mind. If your tablemates do not care to participate in Grace, are they to sit quietly while you pray, or can they eat or continue talking? I honestly am curious, and hope this doesn't sound rude. I'm genuinely interested, because I have no problem if Grace is brief (we're talking Catholic brief), but in my experience, there is nothing brief about some religions' versions of Grace (personal experience, based on the extended family I married into). Thanks, if you feel like answering.

Less than 15 seconds, maintain low tones. Over 15 seconds, they are showing off and you can carry on as normal.

Actually, I'm not sure that would work out. I am from Quebec after all and you said you wouldn't be seen with anyone wearing A Canadiens shirt....

Touche. I have a bias against fans of that team, bad experiences at Sharks games. Maybe you can turn my bias around?

 

[phinz]

Always wondered the etiquette on this.

There is none. If they have none, neither should you.

 

[twindaddy]

There is none. If they have none, neither should you.

Have does praying at a table show you have no etiquette, if you do it quickly and quietly and without making a big deal of it?

I am sure YOU do things that people think show no etiquette, should we be as judgmental and harsh as your are? Or should maybe they give you the benefit of the doubt to see what kind of person you are first?

 

[PizzieDuster]

Have does praying at a table show you have no etiquette, if you do it quickly and quietly and without making a big deal of it?

I am sure YOU do things that people think show no etiquette, should we be as judgmental and harsh as your are? Or should maybe they give you the benefit of the doubt to see what kind of person you are first?

Great question.

For me, I would give the benefit of the doubt to see what kind of person you are first. Pray away and send me some extra. I need it

 

[alaskanabbott]

Have does praying at a table show you have no etiquette, if you do it quickly and quietly and without making a big deal of it? I am sure YOU do things that people think show no etiquette, should we be as judgmental and harsh as your are? Or should maybe they give you the benefit of the doubt to see what kind of person you are first?

This

 

[alaskanabbott]

After consideration I'm realizing I'm much more offensive as a table mate than previously thought. We do pray before our meals, we don't suck each other's feet ( well not at the table!) all of our children are real- and we actually make them behave respectfully during dinner. We have never sent food back, but we have ordered something else, we don't drink and we don't judge. It's probably good we don't get sat with other families- we would surely make the list.

 

[phinz]

Have does praying at a table show you have no etiquette, if you do it quickly and quietly and without making a big deal of it?

I am sure YOU do things that people think show no etiquette, should we be as judgmental and harsh as your are? Or should maybe they give you the benefit of the doubt to see what kind of person you are first?

You just assumed about me, didn't you? Awfully judgmental and harsh of you. I never cease to be amazed at how people get upset when their personal ox is perceived to have been gored but don't take others into consideration.

Too many people assume that you're comfortable with their ministrations of any sort at the table. That's rude. I see it too often. Proper etiquette would be to ask your tablemates if they mind, if it's that important to you, and if they say they do then you should abstain or ask to be moved to a table that genuflects along with you. It's common courtesy, which is far too uncommon these days.

You can say your thanks before you even get there and not take a chance at making others uncomfortable. It's very presumptuous and rude of anyone to assume that people they don't even know would be comfortable or not offended by their actions.