Couples: anything you can't do together without fighting?

[AuntieMe3]

Getting ready for a party or just company, even....and getting ready for a trip.

 

[MamaBelle4]

We disagree on things. It is just that we discuss it, we don't fight.

So are you saying you disagree but you don't scream and yell? I would say arguing IS fighting. Each couple fights differently. I've yelled at my husband, maybe 3 times in total. If you argue or "disagree" you're "fighting". Fighting doesn't mean spittle flying screaming.

Like him, I don't understand grown adults, that love each other, fighting with each other.

Oh, geez. I can't even with this quote. Is it cold up there on that high horse? If you've had disagreements, no matter how cordially or politely you come to a solution, you are fighting.

Just because some of the couples on here don't fight like you do, it doesn't mean they are any less "grown up" or love each other any less than you and your DH.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

So are you saying you disagree but you don't scream and yell? I would say arguing IS fighting. Each couple fights differently. I've yelled at my husband, maybe 3 times in total. If you argue or "disagree" you're "fighting". Fighting doesn't mean spittle flying screaming

I said, disagree. You moved it to arguing. Which is fighting.

My husband and I aren't carbon copies of each other. He likes rock music. I like country. He likes The Twilight Zone, I prefer Blue Bloods. He likes Pepsi, I like Coke. In other words we disagree.

Disagreeing doesn't have to turn into arguing or fighting. We play both kinds of music, watch many different types of shows and we buy both Pepsi and Coke. (And he drinks Coke at Disney, unless we are in our room.) No one is afraid to speak up, which is what has been insinuated. We disagree on different things, we work it out.

Oh, geez. I can't even with this quote. Is it cold up there on that high horse? If you've had disagreements, no matter how cordially or politely you come to a solution, you are fighting.

Just because some of the couples on here don't fight like you do, it doesn't mean they are any less "grown up" or love each other any less than you and your DH.

It isn't any higher of a horse than those that claim that people that say that they don't fight, actually are fighting. Or those that don't fight are afraid to speak up. Or any of the other things said here about those that don't argue.

 

[kimmar067]

....getting a vehicle for our [youngest] DS.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I said, disagree. You moved it to arguing. Which is fighting.

My husband and I aren't carbon copies of each other. He likes rock music. I like country. He likes The Twilight Zone, I prefer Blue Bloods. He likes Pepsi, I like Coke. In other words we disagree.

Disagreeing doesn't have to turn into arguing or fighting. We play both kinds of music, watch many different types of shows and we buy both Pepsi and Coke. (And he drinks Coke at Disney, unless we are in our room.) No one is afraid to speak up, which is what has been insinuated. We disagree on different things, we work it out.


It isn't any higher of a horse than those that claim that people that say that they don't fight, actually are fighting. Or those that don't fight are afraid to speak up. Or any of the other things said here about those that don't argue.

Not trying to get into this discussion too much but I do think that may be due to how you are defining what you and your husband do.

You hear a lot from counselors and whatnot that fighting and disagreeing and arguing can be an important part of a healthy relationship. But that it's important to fight/disagree/argue fair. Fighting doesn't always mean negative.

A synonym of fighting is arguing and disagreeing-


*There's a few other descriptors after the struggle part but it's not relevant to the discussion*

That's probably where the disconnect with the other posters is coming from-at least that's my guess.

 

[soccerdad72]

The only thing we fight over is semantics.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

The only thing we fight over is semantics.

No kidding.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

No kidding.

Well...to be fair you were responding to other posters about semantics too.

You were saying "I said, disagree. You moved it to arguing. Which is fighting. Disagreeing doesn't have to turn into arguing or fighting."

I don't see that above response as any different than the poster's comment about semantics. (ETA: In a nutshell you were responding to other posters in respects to semantics being used).

I gave you the definition of it-I didn't say anything about that other than explain that there could be a disconnect over what you define goes on and what other posters are defining it as.

 

[nikkistevej]

Any kind of house project. LOL He just wants me to stand there and "watch", and be ready for him to tell me what to do. I'm like just do it yourself. hahaha

 

[MamaBelle4]

It isn't any higher of a horse than those that claim that people that say that they don't fight, actually are fighting.

Yes, it is, actually. Your earlier quote, and I'm not scrolling up so I'm paraphrasing here, was implying that couples that fight do not love each other and are not adults. That is exceptionally condescending, especially when you find 99.999999999% of couples have an argument from time to time. Bully to you for being part of that lucky .000000001%.

You hear a lot from counselors and whatnot that fighting and disagreeing and arguing can be an important part of a healthy relationship. But that it's important to fight/disagree/argue fair. Fighting doesn't always mean negative.

A synonym of fighting is arguing and disagreeing-

Thank you.

And with that, I'm out of this conversation.

 

[MomofKatie]

We can't wallpaper a room without fighting. We only tried it once, and we got one wall done before we called a handyman in to finish. We figured it would cost less than a divorce, lol!!

I can't think of anything else.

 

[DeniseJH]

We've been together for 35 years, married for 29. The one thing we can't seem to do without an argument is drive on a highway. My husband will drive in the left (fast) lane and not move over when someone comes up behind him because they "shouldn't be going that fast". I tell him how annoying that is for the other driver, and that he's not the speed police. I don't know how many times I've slumped down in my seat as another aggravated driver passes us on the right. He has gotten better about it, but only because he doesn't want to listen to me complain I'm sure.

 

[dazedx3]

We can't discuss politics at length. But really the worst is putting up the Christmas tree, never a pleasant time!

 

[Tattylou]

Putting things together, putting the ACs in the windows, home repairs.... we have an understand that if you swear or talk mean to each other during those activities that it doesn't count and you just gotta let it go.

 

[DaisyJ]

So are you saying you disagree but you don't scream and yell? I would say arguing IS fighting. Each couple fights differently. I've yelled at my husband, maybe 3 times in total. If you argue or "disagree" you're "fighting". Fighting doesn't mean spittle flying screaming.



Oh, geez. I can't even with this quote. Is it cold up there on that high horse? If you've had disagreements, no matter how cordially or politely you come to a solution, you are fighting.

Just because some of the couples on here don't fight like you do, it doesn't mean they are any less "grown up" or love each other any less than you and your DH.

Disagreeing isn't fighting. What an odd perspective.

 

[lifesavacation]

We've been together for 35 years, married for 29. The one thing we can't seem to do without an argument is drive on a highway. My husband will drive in the left (fast) lane and not move over when someone comes up behind him because they "shouldn't be going that fast". I tell him how annoying that is for the other driver, and that he's not the speed police. I don't know how many times I've slumped down in my seat as another aggravated driver passes us on the right. He has gotten better about it, but only because he doesn't want to listen to me complain I'm sure.

Oh Dear! My husband does the opposite. He will borrow my car and then speed in our neighborhood. Last year, an elderly lady flagged me down and told me to stop speeding in the neighborhood. So now I have to be the speed police when he drives my car and I'm with him. Grrrrrr.

 

[DopeyDame]

Sailing.

We got offered a sailboat from a neighbor for really cheap and turned it down because we were pretty sure it would lead to either murder or divorce.

I don't know what it is about sailing in particular, but we simply CAN NOT do it together. We've worked together, we've gotten lost in foreign countries together, we've been on power boats and kayaks togheter, but put us in a sailboat together and the sniping and arguing starts within seconds.

 

[DawnM]

Anything to do with fixing the computer. I guess since he is so handy (he can build things, fix anything, work on cars, etc....) I just assume he can fix the computer when it isn't working correctly.

He can't. I get frustrated.

Our middle son (17) is going into an IT field. I sure hope he can fix my computers at some point. Right now he is telling me I will have to get a PC because he isn't learning how to work on Macs. Little stinker.

 

[soccerdad72]

Adding one - parenting a teenager.

 

[emer95]

Adding one - parenting a teenager.

So hard. I'm sorry.