Couples: anything you can't do together without fighting?

[dosekies]

Clothes shopping. He refuses to go jeans shopping with me anymore because last time it turned into a 4 hour cry fest lol.

Also, he tends to buy clothes that are wayyyyyy too big for him because he feels more comfortable, but there are some occasions where he needs to wear clothes that actually fit him properly and he HATES it. We always get into arguments over that.

 

[shh]

I am glad that this works for you, but I just don't think that it is realistic for everyone. Both my husband and I are pretty opinionated and passionate people, and although we both love being married, we both have an independent streak to us. I truly don't think that I could live with anyone and not have an occasional fight, that just doesn't seem realistic to me considering my personality. That said, we don't tend to fight over really big things, we never fight about money, designed a house together easily, and each buried a parent without any issues between the two of us whatsoever.

The upbringing/personality thing is a big factor. If both people are opinionated naturally (that would be us) or from loud, boisterous families "razzing" each other growing up, (like my husband) even ordinary spirited conversations probably sound like a fight to onlookers. (Thinking of "My Cousin Vinnie" here!)

We have a friend whose family is from the midwest and he's so laid back and quiet - even when he gets mad, it's a quiet kind of annoyed. His parents are the same way...their worst fights are probably like most people's relaxed conversations.

But I agree that all our fights are about stupid things - never the really big things in life.

 

[fly girl]

Also, he tends to buy clothes that are wayyyyyy too big for him because he feels more comfortable, but there are some occasions where he needs to wear clothes that actually fit him properly and he HATES it. We always get into arguments over that.

YES! My dh does this too. I get being comfortable, but my dh exercises and has a nice physique, why not show it off just a little? Maybe it is the woman in me, but you would never see me strolling to the store buying clothes 2 sizes larger. I wanna look GOOD! LOL

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Your Mrs. Homie must be my long lost sister. I agree on both points. The search for the ultimate song is the WHOLE POINT of getting into a car and then once you find it of course you've got to crank it up.

We don't fight over it but my husband doesn't like the music up too loud and I usually do...hey if I'm singing to it there's no need to hear my god awful voice lol plus I enjoy the music when I can hear it more (though for me yes there is too loud volume but the threshold is a lot higher than my husband's).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Competitive board games. Either he lets me win and I'm mad or I lose and I'm mad.

We do play lots of co-op games together though. Very harmonious and fun since we work together!

Ugh my husband (and his mom and one of his sisters) is soooo competitive when it comes to games. Lord we'll play the board game 'Sorry' and he gets all in a big huff if I'm winning or if he's just getting not so good cards. It's not something we really fight about but it does means he's less likely to play games with me and I really enjoy playing games sooo I'm like "come on it's a game honey" but for him it's hard to just treat it like a fun game.

So in a nutshell I love him to death but he is a sore loser whereas I'm like "darn that sucks" if I lose and shrug it off.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Follow another driver somewhere we don't know how to get to apparently.

Last weekend we went out of town with my sister and brother in law. We followed them since they knew how to get there. Dh drove and stayed right behind bil, too close for my comfort. And bil drives very fast and stays in the left lane, dodging in and around other cars. I was constantly asking dh to back off a little and after awhile I am sure my harping got on his nerves.
So it led to an argument.

This evening we were following some friends and I was driving. As long as I can see them and have plenty of room and time for turns, I am good. He can't stand that So he kept harping on me being so far back until it got on my nerves.

Luckily by the time we got where we were going we were both laughing about having the same argument in reverse.

My step-father-in-law doesn't use a turn signal so when we're following him and we don't know where we're going..I'm like a nervous wreck in the car usually because it means merging to another lane or an exit ramp with little notice..but part of that is my husband and I differ on how each of us defensively drives so when I'm in the passenger seat I'm so tempted to say things..and sometimes I do and then my husband will be like "honey stop passenger seat driving..let me drive"..he gets annoyed on that just like I get annoyed with his driving.

Like today we're going to breakfast. The speed limit on the street was 45 and it was clear the driver we were approaching was going way under that speed limit (I would estimate around 30 maybe 35miles per hr for that other driver. So what I would have done was merged into the other lane after looking that it was clear and then gone around the driver and back into the original lane I was in. But no my husband on the other hand slows down and stays behind that driver despite the fact that he can easily get into the other lane while not slowing down with traffic perfectly clear..drives me bonkers.

 

[gillep]

Okay the windmill argument had me . Seriously, tears streaming. That sounds like us.

Hm, driving on the freeway. Specifically, through the Spaghetti Bowl, his driving and my reaction to it. It was our last big argument but at the time I didn't know that's what the argument was about. After about 24hrs he sat us all down (yeah, happened partly in front of the kids) and explained what happened in his thought process and how it dawned on him after thinking about it that I cannot help my reactions. (I try, really I do but there's some trauma from my past there.) So now if we can avoid it we do. Either I drive or we take the long way.

Seriously, I call these 'documentary induced disagreements.' We are both information addicts, and love to learn about new things, so we often watch documentaries together, and when we take road trips we listen to science and technology podcasts, and we really get into these types of things. Often times we agree (those discussions are also quite animated), sometimes we don't, but we learn new things about the world, and one another, and it works for us. I love that my husband challenges me every day, even if that means that we may disagree and have fights at times.

 

[gemini2727]

The biggest problem that comes between my husband and me is the thermostat. He likes cold, I like comfortable (which he would call warm - he accuses me of setting it to the muggy setting.) We actually don't fight about it, it's more passive-aggressive at this point. Whoever goes by the thermostat adjusts accordingly until the other goes by, up, down, up, down....

 

[leebee]

We don't paint together. I am not a sloppy painter, but I am a devotee of the "mask it off, get the paint on there" school. DH is more of an "Old Master" when it comes to painting. Everything must be done carefully, perfectly. After drying, things are inspected, noted, repainted. He once painted the crown molding in DD's room (really it's just quarter-round) white, and then used white ceiling paint on the ceiling. When he discovered that the two whites didn't match, he carefully stalked the home improvement and hardware stores until he found both satin wall paint and ceiling paint that perfectly matched, then redid the room. I would have left it as-is, or at the very most repainted whatever was easiest to paint with the other paint. Not DH... and so we don't paint together!

TV. DH will watch anything that has to do with politics, war/history, or nature. Over and over and over again, although never necessarily an entire show at one time. Same with some movies. Although I don't think I've ever seen an entire Godfather movie, I can quote some scenes at length, from memory, due to DH's TV habits. He will change the station the second a commercial starts, sometimes not bothering to return to whatever we were watching, or else he'll go back, but late, so we miss some. Other times, he'll watch the "endless" evening loop of MSNBC talking heads. We agree politically, and I like Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow, but there are only just so many times I can watch each show in one evening!! I think we'd be far happier watching TV together if the remote control had NEVER been invented, LOL!

 

[MamaBelle4]

Kitchen. He will stand there and make comments and I want to hit him with a wooden spoon.

Basic household stuff. Like cleaning. We clean different ways, and this one is entirely me. I get so irritated when he is in my way when I have a certain way of doing things.

Also, things that I ask to be done and months later aren't always culminates in a fight.

 

[MamaBelle4]

My husband explained it to a friend like this, "once you start fighting, you've already lost."

Well that's nice. I wouldn't want that, personally, I would constantly be hiding my true feelings and thoughts from DH, and he would be hiding from me. I'd rather have a disagreement with an honest spouse than be afraid of having a disagreement and feeling like I need to hide myself. But to each their own.

I will say I'm thankful our fights are over the stupidest things. We don't argue over money or how to raise our kid. Nope, our last argument was about dirty dishes and leftovers. See, I told you it was stupid!

Yep! Just stupid little things that we do that make each other crazy!

 

[lifesavacation]

Also, he tends to buy clothes that are wayyyyyy too big for him because he feels more comfortable, but there are some occasions where he needs to wear clothes that actually fit him properly and he HATES it. We always get into arguments over that.

OMG, yes!!! My husband does this and it drives me crazy.

 

[shh]

The biggest problem that comes between my husband and me is the thermostat. He likes cold, I like comfortable (which he would call warm - he accuses me of setting it to the muggy setting.) We actually don't fight about it, it's more passive-aggressive at this point. Whoever goes by the thermostat adjusts accordingly until the other goes by, up, down, up, down....

The muggy setting LOL...too funny. Sounds like the 24/7 setting my father preferred 24/7 when I was growing up...

 

[NFLDERS]

These are hysterical. I'm cracking up.

I've been blissfully married for 22 years, but my husband and I cannot attend our children's concerts without bloodshed (well, not really). Something about concerts makes him act like a child. He gets antsy, leans over and whispers to me every ten seconds, and makes fun of other kids' names. And I want to kill him.

Edited:. My Blackberry...

 

[NFLDERS]

These are hysterical. I'm cracking up.

I've been blissfully married for 22 years, but my husband and I cannot attend our children's concerts without bloodshed (well, not really). Something about concerts makes him act like a child. He gets antsy, leans over and whispers to me every ten seconds, and makes fun of other kids' names. And I want to kill him.[/QUOTE

Edited:. Is dying.. Sniff!

AND, whatever my reply would have been when I could not post a reply is long gone, and probably best forgotten!

Oh, Oh! I remember what it was.. So... were you, he, or both of you banned?!

^^^Reply was in Quote!!!!

 

[NFLDERS]

Kitchen. He will stand there and make comments and I want to hit him with a wooden spoon.

Basic household stuff. Like cleaning. We clean different ways, and this one is entirely me. I get so irritated when he is in my way when I have a certain way of doing things.

Also, things that I ask to be done and months later aren't always culminates in a fight.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Load the dishwasher. There, I've said it. After 27 years, I've given up and just let him load it how he thinks it should be loaded.

 

[NFLDERS]

My reply post #75, IS/WAS embedded in the quote!!!

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

Celebrated 22 years today. Only thing we will never probably do again is play golf. I was shooting the best round I ever shot 10 holes in 3 strokes over par. Wife hated it. She couldn't take it anymore so we left.
Have not come close to that start again. I didn't mind leaving, she was absolutely miserable, still would have loved to finish that round.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Well that's nice. I wouldn't want that, personally, I would constantly be hiding my true feelings and thoughts from DH, and he would be hiding from me. I'd rather have a disagreement with an honest spouse than be afraid of having a disagreement and feeling like I need to hide myself. But to each their own.

Why would you need to hide your true feelings? I'm certainly not "afraid of having a disagreement."

We disagree on things. It is just that we discuss it, we don't fight. And after we've discussed it, we move on.

Like him, I don't understand grown adults, that love each other, fighting with each other. We're suppose to be on the same side.