Convincing nieces mother to let her go

[KyCruisinSusan]

Ok everybody, I need some ideas on how to approach my niece's mother about letting her go with us in Dec 05.

There are some huge family dynamics involved, such as, she is the daughter of my ex husbands older brother, who was never married to the childs mother.

This trip will involve DN10 to miss several days of school just prior to christmas break and while I don't have a problem taking my own kids out of school for 5-7 days, she might.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can broach the subject with her and get her approval. I know I will need a notarized consent, and if she agrees, that won't be a problem.

Just need to know how to get her to agree. Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.

 

[crisi]

Ask. Invite her through her mother. Give her mother the downsides (missing school etc.) and the upsides (I'm assuming spending time with a cousin? a free vacation?) and let her make the decision. I'd be honest on both.

To try and get her to agree sounds like manipulation. She gets to make the decisions regarding her child and you have to live with those decisions. If she has a problem pulling her child from school, that is the way she wants to raise her kid.

 

[KYCruiseCrazy]

 

[KyCruisinSusan]

Thanks for your advice krisi.

I did exactly as you suggested and told her mother that we would like to invite DN10 to join us on our cruise next year.

Her reply was, "Can you pack me away in your suitcase"

She also said that she would never deny the child the opportunity to do something like this.

This child has been spending the weekend with us and when I take her home tomorrow I am sending the DCL dvd with her so they can both watch it.

Thanks for your help and great advice.

 

[JC Butterfly]

That is so generous of you to take your niece along with you on your cruise and I'm glad that her mother was so accomodating. Does this mean you still need to gain approval from the father or is it a "done deal" now?

It sounds like the mother is not in a financial position to do this for her own child, perhaps you could go out of your way to do something special for the mother on the cruise (like gathering postcards, making a scrapbook, getting pictures of her daughter both with your family and on her own). I don't know totally, it's just wonderful that you are able/willling to do this!