completely OT but I'm in a panic!!

[karenTX]

Have any of you ever dealt with a very very headstrong stubborn toddler who refuses to eat??? I mean, you sit her down and the ear-bleeding screaming begins! And I can't get her to eat anything at every meal, for the last 3 days!!! She'll barely drink her pediatric drink. UGH! I am out of ideas, am exhusted, and about to cry from fustration! Any ideas out there??

Also, (just the icing on the cake) she's started to pull her hair out and chew on it...not swallow just chew it into a ball then spit it out. She only does this at night or at naps...basically when I can't tell her NO!! Anyone have any expirence with this???

Her ped thinks it is just stress that's making her pull out her hair. She started it Monday night, after we had a tramatic blood draw. It took 3 people to get blood out of her arm...she's only 18 lbs!!! So we had that on Monday, went to the endocrinologist on tuesday, and had another evaluation today. It HAS been a stressful week (for both of us) add to that her bad allergies, not eating, not sleeping real good. Does it sound like it's just stress...and she'll stop here soon??? Anyone out there who delt with this? I need some advice and support!!

Thanks!!! (I'm going to go cry now)

 

[Katiebell]

Well...from one mom to another...I don't know you, hon, but (((hug))). My boys are all grown (youngest is now 16) and the most comforting thing I can tell you is what my mom always said, "This too, shall pass."

If your daughter really underweight? I think the caption under her pic indicated she was a preemie? Instead of the pediatric drink, is there anything she really, really loves to eat? I had one that was underweight due to constant ear infections, he wouldn't nurse well. The pediatrician told me to feed him whatever he wanted, the higher calorie the better, all those baby food desserts I would never have dreamed of feeding his older brothers. He gained weight, but also turned out to be my pickiest eater and still doesn't like veggies Ah well, he is about 5' 11'' and 150 now, so I think he'll be ok

What about fun food? Could she be tempted by fun finger foods, or Mickey Head pancakes, or things like that? Has your dr. got any suggestions? Our pediatrician reassured me that he'd never seen a toddler starve themselves to death, and that they could survive on half a peanut butter sandwich and a 4 oz glass of juice a day, at least for a while...

As for the hair pulling, yeah it may be stress. Does she have a lovey or blanky you could give her when she is stressing? Or maybe a brand new toy...like a super soft Easter bunny she could bury her face in for comfort. Substitute a safe habit, maybe.

Well, don't know if any of those ideas would work, but hang in there!

 

[aceandmee]

I haven't dealt with those specific things, but you mentioned allergies and I know my kids that have food allergies won't eat certain things that bother them. I have had skin prick tests done on them now and you wouldn't believe all the things they can be allergic to. Have you had her tested for food allergies? Could she be "scared" to eat because she has had reactions to several foods? Even a pediatric drink can have stuff they are allergic to. I am just brainstorming. Not certain if that is the case or not.

Or has she been sick with a sore throat or something that would make swallowing difficult or painful?

I would think the hair pulling is stress related as well.

I'm sorry that you and your dd are having such a rough time. I hope things get better for you both ASAP!

 

[Forevryoung]

Hmmm I learned some tips today between my grad class in swallowing/feeding and my mom being a nutritionist... But I'm not a parent

Instead of sitting her down to eat what about just leaving food out that she can eat when she wants? Maybe leaving a bowl of cherrios or something in a bowl next to her while she is playing

My mom would suggest to stop making it a power struggle if there is nothing medically wrong with your daughter- try to ignore the fact that you think it's an issue, she will "feed" off your irritation and frustration of it.

Is it a texture issue? Does she have reflux? Anything that would make her not eat?

 

[MSSANDRA]

Hugs and Hugs and Hugs. DS was 16 weeks early and was right at one and 1/2 pounds. Moms that have been through so much sometimes have it even harder when they have to deal with toddler issues. At 2 i think DS was close to 20 lbs and a really small and picky eater. Our Dr was a neonatoligist and was wonderful. DS did have some, though not a lot, of eating issues. He was tube fed so long that he never learned to enjoy sucking. Every bottle was a struglge. he really did better on food. She however told us NOT to give him the pedisure that most Dr.advice because he would not learn to eat regular food becasue he would never really be hungry.
We made very sure that every bit he got was packed full of nutricious/ calorie dense foods. No junk what so ever. He loved peanut butter and we added that to everything but check with your Dr first as it is high on the allegy list. We also did not worry about variety. Many days it was banannas and pancake with peanut butter on them.

The hair pulling can be very much a reaction to stress. DS made himself through up. Exactly was we needed with a child that was so tiny. same wonderful Dr. said give him NO attention for it. Do not tell him to stop, just move him away from it and clean it up and carry on. SO HARD, but it worked!!!

We got so much advice in the eating issues, some helped some did not. Here are just a few we tried.

-Change the seating. If he is still in the high chair, move him to the table with the chair with out the tray or a booster.

-Give very tiny servings so he is not overwelmed.Over seconds.

-Offer frequent snacks.

-Do not give juice or other non milk or water drinks. Fills them up too fast with out good food value.

-Do not offer a drink with meals.

No matter what do not make the dinner table a battle ground. EVen if he eats nothing, talk and enjoy family time and offer a snack a little later. WE did follow this one!!

Sorry so long. DS is now almost 15. He was given a 10% chance to make it and 0% chance at normal. He is 5'9 170 and bigger than me!!! He just got in trouble fo making a "B" in science. He make all A's most of the time!!!!

Please feel free to PM me if I can offer any other support!!!!!!

Mssandra

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

I wish I had some advice but I'm going through the same thing with my 17 month old. He was a chubster for 9 months and has barely gained an ounce in 8 months. To be honest, I'm done worrying about it b/c I can't force feed him so I figured he'll eat when he's hungry and I too am hoping this is just a phase. But a couple of things I've tried which work sometimes and not others is:

1. No drink with meals - if my son is offered a drink he'll fill up on that rather than food

2. More snacks - I didn't want a kid who grazed all day so while he was a chubster we tried to limit his meals and gave very few snacks. Now I'll offer him one to two snacks a day.

3. Variety - Sometimes I think he gets bored with his food so I'm always trying new things to keep him interested.

One day while I was talking to my mom about what was going on she told me that when we were kids my sister went through a phase where she only ate crackers and cheese all day, every day, for a week or two. I think this is just the beginning of many power struggles. Good luck!

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I don't have any other advice then what others said. My first thought was also "sore throat". I know it is hard, but you need to step back from the struggle. My ped has said the same thing that no child will starve themselves. Keep her favorite foods available for her. Hang in there.

 

[Dashzap]

Maybe not eating is a new allergy or sensitivity? My DS's allergies didn't show up until he was 2...

As for the hair pulling: are you using a new shampoo for her, or new laundry soap on her sheets? My kids and I have incredibly sensitive skin and may be horribly itchy over a new soap without any kind of rash showing up. Try to use hypoallergenic stuff for her bath and the laundry including towels and sheets (once an allergic kid, always an allergic kid our ped. said). Double rinse the laundry. And don't use any fabric softener or dryer sheets, as they leave a possibly irritating film on things.

Good luck

 

[Dashzap]

He loved peanut butter and we added that to everything but check with your Dr first as it is high on the allegy list. We also did not worry about variety. Many days it was banannas and pancake with peanut butter on them.

Yes, they are high on the allergy list. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not giving any peanut or nut products until age 3.
Especially as she already has some allergies, I wouldn't give her any peanut products.

 

[Dashzap]

I would look at information from FAAN (Food Allergy & Anaphylaxsis Network) http://www.foodallergy.org/ I've heard of allergic kids developing issues over eating. You probably can find some help there.

 

[wrighter]

My DD is 19 months, and has gone through so many phases of only eating one thing it's crazy. When she was younger at least it was healthy foods: she'd eat nothing but brocolli or nothing but strawberries. Then it was cheese. Now it's french fries. It's so frustrating - we want to do what's right for our kids. Raise them to be healthy eaters and all that jazz. But we also need to maintain our sanity.

So if it means I'm baking french fries for the next month, so be it. I keep trying to offer other options, but she just doesn't want them. Hang in there!! This really will pass!!!

 

[Hannathy]

Not to sound flip but why does she have to eat? It won't hurt her to not eat a day. Stop making a fuss over it. Wait until she is hungry. Offer her foods you know she will eat and really likes, don't force her to sit and look at it, like someone else said let her graze. If she is a fruit kid put out bananas and cheerios and then ignore her and it it probably will disappear. Kids go thru moods. My son would go days hardly eating enough for a fly. He still is a very small eater, just his body needs. If the Pediatric drink is like an Ensure drink, cut it out. It is probably filling her up and not encouraging her to actually eat, Babies stomachs are very small that is another reason they are great grazers.

It does sound like she is very stressed and fighting with food is just adding another stesser. For a week I would cut out all stressors, don't fight over food, naps-if she doesn't want to take one don't make her, Rock her to sleep at night, etc. I would give her carte blanche for a week and just try to keep her happy and calm. Please don't fight over food. My DD had a friend from preschool and his Mom and I became friends and she was so hung up on how much they ate it became completely miserable and stressful to go anywhere with food with them! We actually were glad they moved! She even made the poor kid come home for lunch so she could insist on how much he ate.

 

[Stephres]

My toddler wouldn't eat anything she couldn't feed herself. Maybe try giving her some cheese and cubed bread? She loved (and still does) those dollar-size pancakes without syrup. I'm sorry I don't know about the hair thing: that's so frustrating!

Toddler issues are so hard because they can't tell us what's wrong. Hang in there and keep talking to the ped. Good luck!

 

[Starr W.]

My toddler wouldn't eat anything she couldn't feed herself. Maybe try giving her some cheese and cubed bread? She loved (and still does) those dollar-size pancakes without syrup. I'm sorry I don't know about the hair thing: that's so frustrating!

Toddler issues are so hard because they can't tell us what's wrong. Hang in there and keep talking to the ped. Good luck!

That was our youngest, so I just gave him things he could eat himself. Having his older brother who ate the same amount of food everyday, our Doctor told us that the little one was more like the "average" toddler. It's hard but if he said he was done we just said fine and let him go. He has plenty of energy and you know what he'll eat if he's hungry. I know this is easier said than done.

 

[jjj444]

My son is 2 and a very good eater! The only times he will not eat is when he is sick. And I mean will not eat! So like the Pedi says he will not starve and will eat when he wants to. It drives me crazy because if he's sick I want him to eat. As soon as he feels better he is back to his old eating habits. When I think about i don't want to eat when I am sick either so it makes sense. could she be teething? Sick? Maybe something is going on with her and that is why she is pulling on her hair.

 

[hezreck]

My DD went through a non eating phase as a toddler too. she was about 2 and for a week hardly ate anything. Lots of crying when I tried to make her sit in her high chair and eat. The doctor told me not to worry, he said she will not starve herself. she would eat when she was ready. He said to keep easy finger foods lying where she could get to them if she wanted them (cheerios, crackers, cheese, etc...) Sure enough, she ate when she wanted them. Also, she would not drink milk at all. She only drank apple juice, no water or anything. The doctor also told me she didn't need the milk, not to worry. Anyway, when she turned 5, she stopped drinking juice and now all she drinks is milk! And she's 9 now. Goes to show how kids can hate something one day and all of a sudden love it.

 

[HelenePA]

my 4 yr old is/was a HORRIBLE eater! for a few months when she was 3 all she ate was corn and cheese... it was a struggle to get her to taste ANYTHING else! Infact it STILL is! I dont push it any more.. I can't force her to eat.. as much as it drives me INSANE there is nothing I can do about it! On the days where she wont eat we do give her a carnation instant breakfast at night. At least it has some calories in it.. We tried pedisure... and that didn't go over so well! At 4 she's 33.5 pounds BUT very very tall.. Makes it hard to get pants to fit Recently she's begun to eat apples and carrotts! I think she saw some cartoon where they were eating them and since then she'll eat them as well! Good Luck!

 

[tea4sanity]

I sure know that feeling. My boys were both premies and it was hard to get used to all the different issues.

Try hard not to fight over the food. A toddler will fight just for the fight and not for a reason (bad news.. so will a teenager). My kids became grazers at 2. They had to sit at the table for family meals but didn't have to eat anything. During the day I would leave cut up food on the table or counter and it would be gone. Granted not the idea way to eat, but it was bettter than nothing. When they got back into eating they slowly did start eating meals with us again.

I will suggest checking out the message boards at iVillage.com There are moms going through the same issues as you right now. Sometimes it helps to have people in the same spot as you. You can feel less helpless that way. PM me and I can help you find the right board.

 

[PleaseStandClear]

Sorry you're both going through this.

When there's a refuse to eat problem, I try to elliminate "the usual suspects":
- ear infection
- teething (you didn't say how old she is, but could she be the right age for 2 year molars?)
- sore throat
- tooth pain (cavities?)
- mouth pain (bit tongue, cut on mouth, gums)
- tummy discomfort

You mentioned allergies, if they're sinus allergies, she might feel pressure and pain in her sinuses and ears or have a sore throat caused by sinus drainage -- either could make her not want to eat.

You can try offering a variety of textures and temperatures -- warm broth might feel good on a sore throat, cold might alleviate teething pain.

If you and your ped rule out physical causes, then stress sounds likely. As PPs said, the best way to deal with that is to take away the pressure and offer substitute comforts for the hair chewing.

 

[lcrane]

I am sorry to here that you are going thru this, I have 2 kids who are now 15 DD and a 13 DS and they both did not like to sit down and eat they were always on the go so we just kept finger foods around so that they could grab and go. I know its hard we wanted them to sit and eat with us like a family but at that age they have no patience for that they were just 2 busy.