Come on people ..

[ppony]

IMO, it's completely irrelevant that there are "worse" places on the net.

 

[Staceycs]

While I agree we all have different opinions, the point OP is making here is that there are more productive ways to express them. Coming onto disboards shouldn't be an exercise in personal growth.....just provide information politely and move on!

And I really have to disagree with the arrogant stance of the 'wordly' and 'experinced' posters who get so frustrated by us naive newbies.....I apologise.....didn't realise you guys owned the boards and I have to watch myself, so as not to irritate you.

I'm a very thick-skinned high school teacher who looks at these boards in my recreation time, to plan for holidays I look forward to. Please leave the attitude out of it.

 

[Missyrose]

I understand where OP is coming from, I really do. I saw her "Birthday Blues" thread devolve into a mess for many different reasons (some her own doing, some from with other posters were adding). But the bottom line is these boards are pretty tame and if what's being said in a thread bothers you, you have two choices:

1) Speak up if you disagree with what's being said.

or

2) Close the thread and move onto something else.

You do have to prove yourself in a sense by building your post counts and through years of participation. Something a veteran posts as an observation may be taken very differently than something the newbie posts. That's just the way life is. You have to build a reputation.

I would also encourage the newer members to spread your wings beyond the Theme Park board (trust me, it took me many months to realize there were discussions on other boards besides this one). Take a spin through the Trip Reports, lots of really nice people sharing their stories and not a lot of negativity there either.

Complaining how mean everyone is isn't going to get the more sarcastic, pessimistic posters to change their ways. It will only make you an easy target. As corny as it sounds, you can only be the change you want to see. Continue to contribute thoughtfully and kindly, knowing that's how you would want to be treated in return.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I could agree more OP! And I'm a vet of this board since before the crash of 1999. I've been very put off by the attitudes and down right nastiness of some people here on DIS. Mods don't seems to care

I could not disagree with the bolded statement more if I wanted - and I don't .

I've been taken to task a couple of times recently for, I believe, 'sarcasm/argumentative' - even when that wasn't my intent. I know another DISer in another thread was given an infraction for being (again, I believe) 'mildly insulting' - even though that wasnt that person's intention, and the poster they were appaerently insulting - me - didn't feel that way and didn't complain

So really - the Moderators and WebMasters DO care!!! They just can't always be everywhere. If you think a post violates DIS Guidelines, report it!

 

[TiggerTrigger]

IMO, it's completely irrelevant that there are "worse" places on the net.

I totally agree! Just because things are more tame on this forum does not excuse rudeness. i.e. rudeness at a lesser degree is still just that- rudeness. And telling people to grow a thicker skin isn't the way either. This isn't about not being able to accept that people have different opinions. This is about people who can't voice a difference of opinion without phrasing it in the form of an attack or at the very least...backhanded belittlement of the other poster. There are ways to voice a difference of opinion and maintain some decorum, but sadly, more and more people seem to relish the opportunity to be nasty and aggressive.

I will agree that this forum is nicer than others, and that's usually why I come back; however, the attitudes of some definitely sparks a degredation of the overall enjoyment of the experience coming on here. In general, it would just be nice to see a greater degree of civility from all.

 

[Planogirl]

I agree with you, Erin. And while I may be a newbie here, I do belong to other discussion boards and I find this to be the most critical.

Most folks here are pleasant and helpful but there is an undercurrent of cynicism and negativity.

Thicken your skin? That's one posters answer. Common courtesy and respect, that's the correct answer.

I would give your post a "like" too if there was a way. I couldn't agree more.

The trouble is that it's just not going to happen. There will always be rude people around and I agree that the mods can only do so much. I think that you have to decide how you're going to react because you can't change the behavior of others. I personally choose to focus on the positive (most of the time ) and go with the flow otherwise.

 

[ppony]

I could not disagree with the bolded statement more if I wanted - and I don't .

I've been taken to task a couple of times recently for, I believe, 'sarcasm/argumentative' - even when that wasn't my intent. I know another DISer in another thread was given an infraction for being (again, I believe) 'mildly insulting' - even though that wasnt that person's intention, and the poster they were appaerently insulting - me - didn't feel that way and didn't complain

So really - the Moderators and WebMasters DO care!!! They just can't always be everywhere. If you think a post violates DIS Guidelines, report it!

Of course, you can disagree. To say they don't seem to care doesn't mean they don't do anything. IMO, the increase of sparring can only come about if allowed. I stand by what I said haven't seen it let go long enough and the same offenders continuing on and on and on. The "owners" or whomever they are wouldn't reply to my inquiry of them so what else am I to think. I've seen enough to stand from on my views as you have on yours. I have and do report offensive posts. I see the moderating being uneven depending on the forum. To those that spend hours and hours daily on the board, and post a lot, clearly it doesn't matter. I can say though, I've cut back my time on DIS quite a bit because I got tired of people making mountains out of molehills or treating people with immense disrespect.

 

[maxiesmom]

While I agree we all have different opinions, the point OP is making here is that there are more productive ways to express them. Coming onto disboards shouldn't be an exercise in personal growth.....just provide information politely and move on!

And I really have to disagree with the arrogant stance of the 'wordly' and 'experinced' posters who get so frustrated by us naive newbies.....I apologise.....didn't realise you guys owned the boards and I have to watch myself, so as not to irritate you.

I'm a very thick-skinned high school teacher who looks at these boards in my recreation time, to plan for holidays I look forward to. Please leave the attitude out of it.

Here is part of the problem: Everyone wants the boards to be friendly. And you want people to leave attitude out of it. However in the post that you state that, you seem to be giving a good amount of attitude.

Tone is hard to tell on message boards. Perhaps you didn't mean your post to have any attitude, but to me it does. Maybe to another poster is does not. See how this becomes a problem?

Sometimes it is best to try and give people the benefit of the doubt. The Mods will not tolerate out and out name calling, and if any post seems insulting, it is easy to alert them and to let them deal with it. If someone doesn't think the mods do a good enough job, then maybe this really isn't the place for them, because the mods are the ones in charge.

 

[bellanotte10]

I agree. Tone is always a problem. There's a reason I lurked for 2 years before posting. I'm incredibly sarcastic in real life, but when I post I have to think about tone and always include smileys to indicate it. I do it because I know I've been unintentionally hurt because of how I've read tone when it was prob a joke.

And there are some really rude people here. I agree! But I believe the nice outweighs the rude. And I like you and still feel bad your bday got ruined. That legit made me sad!

But like others have said, there are worse people elsewhere. I once tweeted that I use the pill for potential PCOS.... I got tons of supportive retweets and one nasty one calling me some bad names that made me cry for using something so terrible. I know how it feels. But you can't change rude... You just try to avoid and try yourself to be that happy informative person!!! Don't leave!

 

[pampam]

Someone posted that the term bully gets used a lot. I don't know about that, but I feel there are a lot of trolls just trying to stir things up. I for one would like to see more kindness and consideration. I enjoy a good discussion, but I try to avoid arguments. That being said, the only person I can control is myself, and some days I have quite a job doing that. I do agree with the OP.

 

[HappyGal]

While I agree we all have different opinions, the point OP is making here is that there are more productive ways to express them. Coming onto disboards shouldn't be an exercise in personal growth.....just provide information politely and move on!

And I really have to disagree with the arrogant stance of the 'wordly' and 'experinced' posters who get so frustrated by us naive newbies.....I apologise.....didn't realise you guys owned the boards and I have to watch myself, so as not to irritate you.

I'm a very thick-skinned high school teacher who looks at these boards in my recreation time, to plan for holidays I look forward to. Please leave the attitude out of it.

Well said!

 

[robinb]

While I agree we all have different opinions, the point OP is making here is that there are more productive ways to express them. Coming onto disboards shouldn't be an exercise in personal growth.....just provide information politely and move on!

Here's the problem with having someone "just provide information and politely move on": it makes a very boring place. There is a pretty famous website for Priceline bidding called biddingfortravel.com and it is ruled by the iron fist of the owner and her moderators. It's a "just the facts" kind of site and NO discussion is allowed. Those who break the rules are immediately banned without waning and their IPs are banned so they don't come back under another username. It is a boring, sterile place without veterans because anyone who posts long enough slips up and is banned.

And I really have to disagree with the arrogant stance of the 'wordly' and 'experinced' posters who get so frustrated by us naive newbies.....I apologise.....didn't realise you guys owned the boards and I have to watch myself, so as not to irritate you.

I'm a very thick-skinned high school teacher who looks at these boards in my recreation time, to plan for holidays I look forward to. Please leave the attitude out of it.

Here is part of the problem: Everyone wants the boards to be friendly. And you want people to leave attitude out of it. However in the post that you state that, you seem to be giving a good amount of attitude.

Tone is hard to tell on message boards. Perhaps you didn't mean your post to have any attitude, but to me it does. Maybe to another poster is does not. See how this becomes a problem?

Exactly, maxiesmom. I fnd it is ironic that Staceycs used sarcasm and snarkinees as a slap down of a certain group of people on the DIS who s/he feels are too mean, sarcastic and snarky. Then a group of other people came by later "liked" what s/he said about those other mean, sarcastic and snarky people . I guess for some folks snarky=bully if you don't agree with what is said and snarky= if you do agree. Which is why I made the "thicker skin" comment. You will never always be on the same side as someone dealing out the attitude on a thread and if you take that attitude personally you will be very unhappy.

 

[disneynutsss]

its so sad, so very damn sad.

i also agree that it is irrelevant to state "how tame" Dis is compared to other boards.

the saddest part of all this is that the world is getting worse. being "respectful" and "considerate" is on a decline. the "all about me" attitude is on a rise. and to tell people to "grow thicker skin" should not be the answer. i believe that to accept that the world is getting worse, to ignore it an move on is just adding fuel to the fire, giving permission to people to continue to act this way - and that is how we got here today.

just look at all of the posts about how rude people are at WDW.

i think that everyone realizes that "tone" is not expressed when typing on the internet. the emoticons really can help with that, IF more people just used them.

don't get me wrong, i am all for free speech and everyone is entitled to their opinion - we don't have to be "snarky" or "rude".

more and more i am thinking that they should have a manners/respect class in high schools.

and with that, i love the DIS and there are TONS of wonderful people on here!!!

love,
a "worldly", "experienced" Diser who loves "newbies"

**KILL 'EM WITH KINDESS!!**

 

[Andtototoo]

its so sad, so very damn sad.

i also agree that it is irrelevant to state "how tame" Dis is compared to other boards.

the saddest part of all this is that the world is getting worse. being "respectful" and "considerate" is on a decline. the "all about me" attitude is on a rise. and to tell people to "grow thicker skin" should not be the answer. i believe that to accept that the world is getting worse, to ignore it an move on is just adding fuel to the fire, giving permission to people to continue to act this way - and that is how we got here today.

just look at all of the posts about how rude people are at WDW.

i think that everyone realizes that "tone" is not expressed when typing on the internet. the emoticons really can help with that, IF more people just used them.

don't get me wrong, i am all for free speech and everyone is entitled to their opinion - we don't have to be "snarky" or "rude".

more and more i am thinking that they should have a manners/respect class in high schools.

and with that, i love the DIS and there are TONS of wonderful people on here!!!

love,
a "worldly", "experienced" Diser who loves "newbies"

**KILL 'EM WITH KINDESS!!**

Exactly. People are full of woe because guests at Disney are increasingly rude and uncaring about others. And then people defend being rude and obnoxious here -- a Disney site. The connection is pretty obvious. I somehow doubt all the rude people here go to Disney and are sweetness and light and show consideration for others. We all need to look in the mirror when we complain about how our society is becoming a pack of dogs.

 

[disneynutsss]

Exactly. People are full of woe because guests at Disney are increasingly rude and uncaring about others. And then people defend being rude and obnoxious here -- a Disney site. The connection is pretty obvious. I somehow doubt all the rude people here go to Disney and are sweetness and light and show consideration for others. We all need to look in the mirror when we complain about how our society is becoming a pack of dogs.

exactly!

 

[cm8]

its so sad, so very damn sad.

i also agree that it is irrelevant to state "how tame" Dis is compared to other boards.

the saddest part of all this is that the world is getting worse. being "respectful" and "considerate" is on a decline. the "all about me" attitude is on a rise. and to tell people to "grow thicker skin" should not be the answer. i believe that to accept that the world is getting worse, to ignore it an move on is just adding fuel to the fire, giving permission to people to continue to act this way - and that is how we got here today.

just look at all of the posts about how rude people are at WDW.

i think that everyone realizes that "tone" is not expressed when typing on the internet. the emoticons really can help with that, IF more people just used them.

don't get me wrong, i am all for free speech and everyone is entitled to their opinion - we don't have to be "snarky" or "rude".

more and more i am thinking that they should have a manners/respect class in high schools.

and with that, i love the DIS and there are TONS of wonderful people on here!!!

love,
a "worldly", "experienced" Diser who loves "newbies"

**KILL 'EM WITH KINDESS!!**

Exactly. People are full of woe because guests at Disney are increasingly rude and uncaring about others. And then people defend being rude and obnoxious here -- a Disney site. The connection is pretty obvious. I somehow doubt all the rude people here go to Disney and are sweetness and light and show consideration for others. We all need to look in the mirror when we complain about how our society is becoming a pack of dogs.

, We all are responsible in one way or another

 

[nkereina]

I have to agree with the posters who say this board is tame compared to others. Rarely do I see personal attacks, but just strong disagreements. That's what a DISCUSSION board is all about. If you aren't up for the debate, don't participate.

The only time I feel the need to get involved in such debates is when a poster is blatantly wrong about factual information. When people like you, OP, come on here seeking advice and are reading wrong information, it doesn't reflect well on the board and leaves you with incorrect info. So the posters with wrong info need to be corrected - whether politely or "impolitely" depending on the stubbornness of the incorrect poster.

Telling adults how they should and shouldn't behave on a public message board in a free country will absolutely be received badly - you are correct. The other way you could have gone about this is just state your opinion and leave the commands out of it. You really can't tell people what to do.

And for the record, these kinds of threads start the exact debate of what you are complaining about. So this will continue the cycle...

 

[kaytieeldr]

**KILL 'EM WITH KINDNESS!!**

I have to say, when using the written word, where tone can only be implied/inferred - "killing 'em with kindness" can easily be read as sarcasm.

 

[JerseyJanice]

to ignore it an move on is just adding fuel to the fire

Sorry to take this part of your post somewhat out of context, but I think that ignoring rudeness on message boards is the best way to handle it, especially on a moderated board. Threads like this one get the pot stirrers riled up IMO.

 

[disneynutsss]

I have to say, when using the written word, where tone can only be implied/inferred - "killing 'em with kindness" can easily be read as sarcasm.

lol, true but i didnt mean it that way

Sorry to take this part of your post somewhat out of context, but I think that ignoring rudeness on message boards is the best way to handle it, especially on a moderated board. Threads like this one get the pot stirrers riled up IMO.

didnt necessarily mean on the message boards, meant in life
believe me, i have spent my share getting up and walking away from these boards!