College tuition question

[eliza61]

This is a privately owned website. It is not a public website. The owner can apply whatever rules he chooses and can ban a member for any reason that he or the webmasters feels is valid.

That doesn't mean that I'm calling for the OP to be banned from here. But she does have a history of posting "woe is me" types of threads and has, in the past, convinced tenderhearted members to send things to her.

You're right it is private, what I meant when I said public is that the owner opens it up to everyone equally as long as they follow the rules. which he of course sets up.

Belle, said she did not understand why op has not been Banned yet. those where her words.

I recognize she evidently has this pattern. big whoo. I see people requesting prayers all the time. what is the difference. If some one choses to send her anything be it prayers, pixie dust or money, that's on them.

Once again just because we don't like some one's pattern, no one should be banned (once again, that was Belleprincess exact words) unless they specifically break the rules the owner set up.

Also the op asked for ADVICE, at least that's what I read. truthfully if some one takes the word advice and some how translates it into "Let me send them some money". I blame them not the op.

 

[eliza61]

DS graduation this a few weeks ago. He has a great GPA. Did excellent on SAT. He is a AP Scholar with Distinction ( scoring 5 on 4 or more AP exams) and was top of the class.....Valedictorian and all
We are so proud of him.
This year he really put effort into his grades and it really paid off.

The good news is he was accpeted to his first choice college and recieved an awesome package full of grant/scholarships and a small loan. It is guaranteed for all 4 years. We completed the FASA stuff on time and it was calculated (because of our terrible financial situation) that he would be getting the grants.

Now at Graduation it was a total surprise to us, he earn 3 scholarships. A smaller one time one of $200 ish, a National Honor Society on of $500 and an awesome one......$3,000 for all 4 years!!!

Now come the kicker: He must disclose to the school all scholarship monies earned. No problem. However now they are going to re-work (into a set program) his new numbers and the amount of the grants will be reduced thus leaving us having to get a small loan.

Bascially, all the hard work, essays, interviews, etc to earn the scholarships was for not because they are just going to take away funding. We were hoping to use the scholarship money to purchase a required lap top and a saxaphone, as he plans to do marching band. We were hoping to use some of the money to purchase new sneakers, a printer, and possible some much need dorm stuff.
WELL, that is NOT going to happen because they are reducing any grand money.

Is this common? I do not want to appear to be ungrateul at all, but after stuggling finanacially for so long, it looking like college was going to be an great moment in his life.

If anyone has any insight please do pass along.
Thanks in advance.

OK, HERE IS THE ORIGNAL POST, some one want to show me how this translated into "send me some money"?

She says she is "struggling" financially. big whoo, welcome to 75% of america.

Like I said, I don't send random strangers money so I've got no horse in this race but my radar does go up when people start talking about banning posters for this or that when there is a very simple answer to dealing with posters who you don't get along with.

Place them on your ignore list or report their activities to a moderator.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

OK, HERE IS THE ORIGNAL POST, some one want to show me how this translated into "send me some money"?

She says she is "struggling" financially. big whoo, welcome to 75% of america.

Like I said, I don't send random strangers money so I've got no horse in this race but my radar does go up when people start talking about banning posters for this or that when there is a very simple answer to dealing with posters who you don't get along with.

Place them on your ignore list or report their activities to a moderator.

The OP had basically admitted in another post that other posts by her worded in similar fashion had led to "disboard angels" sending her gifts. If it keeps working, she'll keep posting. Does she outright ask? No. But many of us know her basic M.O. whenever an expense or holiday comes up. In the last 3 years nothing has changed in her financial situation but yet she has Directv & cell phone contracts. She obviously likes the pity party.

 

[Allison]

What I don't like is censorship. this poster has just as much right to post as anyone else. I never understand why folks get upset, if you don't like a poster or thread simply move on. You claim she is doing some thing wrong, yet you open up the thread? instead of trying to get her banned how about simply not reading her thread?

Then why are you coming across as trying to censor what other people post?

It's a two way street. If you don't like what they post, ignore them.

 

[punkin]

The OP had basically admitted in another post that other posts by her worded in similar fashion had led to "disboard angels" sending her gifts. If it keeps working, she'll keep posting. Does she outright ask? No. But many of us know her basic M.O. whenever an expense or holiday comes up.

Then the "angels" are idiots. Sorry. I see nothing in the OP asking for money, and even if she did, in this day and age, who sends money (or musical instruments?) to a total stranger? On the other hand, if I had an old instrument lying around disused, maybe I would send it to someone who had a use for it. Nothing wrong with asking (which OP didn't even do)

I could see myself writing the OP if it had happened to my child. Believe me, I would not have expected money, just some commiseration. I have posted plenty of vent or "can you believe this" threads in the past.

What does tend to freak me out on this board is the propensity of some people to scour old posts and play "gotcha!" I just don't get it.

 

[DVCLiz]

I recognize she evidently has this pattern. big whoo. I see people requesting prayers all the time. what is the difference. If some one choses to send her anything be it prayers, pixie dust or money, that's on them.

I have something going on in my personal life and I'd like your prayers. On second thought, I'd like a $100 bill instead. Any difference to you?

This poster has taken shameless advantage of trusting DISers who don't understand that sometimes the nice lady they meet on the internet is a crook. That's the difference. Asking for prayers or information about how to reduce college costs is one thing. Listing the specific items she would like to buy if only they weren't so downtrodden is shameless begging and people are tired of it and call her out for it in the hope that someone else might be spared falling for her sob stories.

 

[DVCLiz]

Then the "angels" are idiots. Sorry. I see nothing in the OP asking for money, and even if she did, in this day and age, who sends money (or musical instruments?) to a total stranger? On the other hand, if I had an old instrument lying around disused, maybe I would send it to someone who had a use for it. Nothing wrong with asking (which OP didn't even do)

I could see myself writing the OP if it had happened to my child. Believe me, I would not have expected money, just some commiseration. I have posted plenty of vent or "can you believe this" threads in the past.

What does tend to freak me out on this board is the propensity of some people to scour old posts and play "gotcha!" I just don't get it.

Plenty of people send money, punkin, if they are lulled into thinking the story is true and they are kind hearted. You yourself would send her a saxophone. What if she turned around and sold it for something else for herself? would that still feel so good to you?

There is no way to tell on the internet that someone has decent intentions like you do. This poster has a LONG history on the DIS of begging shamelessly and many readers are sick of it and call her out for it. They have just as much right to warn others of her fraud as some do of taking up for her.

 

[punkin]

Plenty of people send money, punkin, if they are lulled into thinking the story is true and they are kind hearted. You yourself would send her a saxophone. What if she turned around and sold it for something else for herself? would that still feel so good to you?

There is no way to tell on the internet that someone has decent intentions like you do. This poster has a LONG history on the DIS of begging shamelessly and many readers are sick of it and call her out for it. They have just as much right to warn others of her fraud as some do of taking up for her.

I often freecycle stuff. I do not know nor do I care what people do with the items I give away. I'm just happy to de-clutter.

 

[DVCLiz]

I often freecycle stuff. I do not know nor do I care what people do with the items I give away. I'm just happy to de-clutter.

Yes, but when you freecycle do you scour the Internet hoping to find someone who has that exact need and offer it to them only, or do you list the item and hope someone who needs it - even to resell - shows up and takes it off your hands? That's a big difference to me.

 

[Alesia]

About three years ago she posted that her daughter desperately wanted an American Girl doll for Christmas. She went on and on about what a good girl she was and how it just broke her heart that she couldn't (because of their desperate financial situation) give her little girl the one thing that she wanted for Christmas.

So some kind, generous person sends her a brand new - still in the box - American Girl doll.

The next thing you know, she's asking where the best place is to sell a brand new - still in the box - American Girl doll. She had the good sense to delete it quickly, but plenty of people (myself included) saw it. Since then she has been more subtle about how she asks for things and (presumably) smarter about reselling them.

The list of things that she has posted about desperately needing but can't afford is as long as my arm: a honey baked ham, Christmas lights, a plane ticket for her daughter, a once in a lifetime trip for her son, etc.

If you want to feel sorry for her, that's fine. Heck, if you want to send her money, that's your business, too. But I think people have a right to know her history.

 

[eliza61]

I have something going on in my personal life and I'd like your prayers. On second thought, I'd like a $100 bill instead. Any difference to you?

This poster has taken shameless advantage of trusting DISers who don't understand that sometimes the nice lady they meet on the internet is a crook. That's the difference. Asking for prayers or information about how to reduce college costs is one thing. Listing the specific items she would like to buy if only they weren't so downtrodden is shameless begging and people are tired of it and call her out for it in the hope that someone else might be spared falling for her sob stories.

no actually there is no difference.

You are a perfect stranger. You are asking me to do some thing to benefit you. I either do it or don't. listing specific items or information is the same thing. You are in effect begging just as much as she is.

You said it yourself, on the internet I have no way of knowing if the begger is running a scam or not. My prayers are just as valuable as my money so it is up to me to decide whether on not to send them.

YOU still have the right to ask.

 

[eliza61]

About three years ago she posted that her daughter desperately wanted an American Girl doll for Christmas. She went on and on about what a good girl she was and how it just broke her heart that she couldn't (because of their desperate financial situation) give her little girl the one thing that she wanted for Christmas.

So some kind, generous person sends her a brand new - still in the box - American Girl doll.

The next thing you know, she's asking where the best place is to sell a brand new - still in the box - American Girl doll. She had the good sense to delete it quickly, but plenty of people (myself included) saw it. Since then she has been more subtle about how she asks for things and (presumably) smarter about reselling them.

The list of things that she has posted about desperately needing but can't afford is as long as my arm: a honey baked ham, Christmas lights, a plane ticket for her daughter, a once in a lifetime trip for her son, etc.

If you want to feel sorry for her, that's fine. Heck, if you want to send her money, that's your business, too. But I think people have a right to know her history.

true. but what I object ot is saying she should be banned. which some one said she should be.
It's simple, if you feel she has a mo, don't send her any thing.

 

[DVCLiz]

no actually there is no difference.

You are a perfect stranger. You are asking me to do some thing to benefit you. I either do it or don't. listing specific items or information is the same thing. You are in effect begging just as much as she is.

You said it yourself, on the internet I have no way of knowing if the begger is running a scam or not. My prayers are just as valuable as my money so it is up to me to decide whether on not to send them.

YOU still have the right to ask.

Great - then I'd like the $100, please!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

true. but what I object ot is saying she should be banned. which some one said she should be.
It's simple, if you feel she has a mo, don't send her any thing.

I have a right to my opinion. The OP seemingly uses this board for the purpose of obtaining free items & money. That is not the purpose of this board & I don't understand why they let the trolling go on. It's my opinion & I have the right to state it and you have the right to disagree.I call a spade a spade. End of story.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Great - then I'd like the $100, please!

Me too!

 

[leahjade]

In the last 3 years nothing has changed in her financial situation but yet she has Directv & cell phone contracts

Hate to break it to you but any of us who work are supporting plenty of these kind of people every day - it's called Public Assistance!

Check this out - on the news the other day - an app for your smart phone to check your food stamp balance!
http://www.androidzoom.com/android_applications/finance/food-assistance-buddy-pro_bnmhi.html

 

[angierae]

The problem is, if those of us who have been around long enough to know what she's doing keep our mouths shut, or ignore her posts, then someone new to Dis is going to get suckered into sending her gifts/money/whatever.

The only way to combat this is to make sure people reading realize that she's a scammer.

And like I said a few pages ago, it must stil work, because she keeps doing it. I think she waits just long enough for there to be a bit of a turnover on the board, in the hopes of snagging someone new before people start pointing out that she's scamming.

 

[robinb]

Now to get on my soap box, we as a society need to learn to share instead of having this "Mine, mine, mine!" attitude.

The attitude you mention starts early. Check out this thread where folks on the DIS don't want their kids to share crayons or other school supplies: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2958394 .

 

[leahjade]

Now to get on my soap box, we as a society need to learn to share instead of having this "Mine, mine, mine!" attitude

Sounds like you mean socialism to me.
An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had never failed a single
student, but had once failed an entire class.

The class (students) insisted that socialism worked since no one would be
poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said,
"OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism."

"All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so
no one will fail and no one will receive an A."

After the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The
students who had studied hard were upset while the students who had
studied very little were happy.

But, as the second test rolled around, the students who had studied little
studied even less and the ones who had studied hard decided that since
they couldn't make an A, they also studied less. The second Test average
was a D.

No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around the average grade was an
F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame, name calling, all resulted
in hard feelings and no one would study for anyone else.

To their great surprise all failed. The professor told them that socialism
would ultimately fail because the harder people try to succeed the greater
their reward (capitalism) but when a government takes all the reward
away (socialism) no one will try or succeed.

 

[goodfood4ursoul]

Maybe look into communtiy college for the first two years. Not everyone can afford 4 years away at college.

BEST advice yet, peacelover!

I have been through this transition from HS to college with both my kids with differing degrees of success.
And when I say success I speak of not my own success or failure, but the KID's success or failure.
Remember that you have raised a kid to become an *adult*.
What they do once they leave the nest is their own responsibility.

All the graduation accolades are wonderful accomplishments but don't do a thing for you when you are actually *in college*.

That being said, we learned some lessons with Kid #1 that we put into practice with Kid #2...

Kid #1 was a NHS inductee and top 10% graduate and had almost a full ride's worth of financial aid due to our family's financial under employment, but had no "skin in the game", had no financial investment herself, and to our shock and dismay chose to play and not work.
Hope that was fun because now this kid is working full time to pay back college loans from that first year, and saving money to go back to college one day.

Kid #2 was in the top 20% but took dual enrollment community college classes in both 11th and 12th grades and earned an associates degree in the process.
Got far less financial aid due to both parents being fully employed but that is okay, we are able to help him out a little financially.

However, he has to work to help pay for college so he is far more motivated to achieve and do well and he certainly did that academically this past year.

There's nothing like a little sweat equity to instill respect for a dollar earned and slow down the process of spending said dollar.

Not only that, since he works full time outside this summer doing many different jobs ranging from sweaty outdoor maintenance and cleanup to inside painting and cleaning and working with and mentoring youth, this has reinforced the importance of higher education in getting a job that is less sweaty and higher paying one day

This is something he already "knew" but I find that *knowing* in your head and experiencing in your hands, arms and muscles are two different things.
He is having his knowledge reinforced through sweaty hard labor experience.

He began college as a junior and is now a senior, thanks to community college, which prepared him well for working hard at his university.

Had he not finished his associates degree during high school, he would have gone to community college to complete it before going off to college.

Wish we had done that with Kid #1...

Hard work never hurt anybody and it sounds like your son needs to experience one of the wonders of his new adult world- the independence and responsibility that come with a job and paying some of his own bills.

Trust me- it's a good thing.