College offers puppies and coloring books to deal with finals stress

[bethbuchall]

A few kids with a few good parents (which I assume are yours and mine) are anecdotal, not the norm.

Here are a few articles, but you are welcome to google yourself:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ddling-entire-generation-children-set-them-fo

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/10/1...s-see-big-lack-resilience-among-students.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tammy-bleck/have-we-coddled-our-kids-too-much_b_6600448.html

http://nypost.com/2015/05/15/coddling-americas-kids-all-the-way-into-adulthood/

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

But ultimately, we can argue this back and forth all day.

My opinion (which may well be wrong) based on my own experiences with young adults is that the "few kids with a few good parents" is most definitely the norm. But reports on them don't sell advertising. I think that the "coddled" are actually the exceptions but are the ones that get the press.

 

[pryncess527]

My opinion (which may well be wrong) based on my own experiences with young adults is that the "few kids with a few good parents" is most definitely the norm. But reports on them don't sell advertising. I think that the "coddled" are actually the exceptions but are the ones that get the press.

Agreed. I've worked in higher ed for a decade now and in my experience, the coddled kids are few and far between. The vast majority of the kids I see are compassionate, hard working, and driven.

 

[DawnM]

My opinion (which may well be wrong) based on my own experiences with young adults is that the "few kids with a few good parents" is most definitely the norm. But reports on them don't sell advertising. I think that the "coddled" are actually the exceptions but are the ones that get the press.

See, now we are just arguing with what is in your mind and what you believe, whether the facts support it or not.

I can't argue that. You are free to believe however you want.

 

[bethbuchall]

See, now we are just arguing with what is in your mind and what you believe, whether the facts support it or not.

I can't argue that. You are free to believe however you want.

Have you seen these huge groups of young adults that can't cope with life? Have you seen huge groups of college students who haven't made it to graduation and then become gainfully employed? That is what all the normal young adults that I know have done. But that is not news worthy.

If it makes you feel better to think that you are one of the few good parents out there who have managed to raise well-adjusted children, feel free. I think that you are in the majority.

 

[DawnM]

Have you seen these huge groups of young adults that can't cope with life? Have you seen huge groups of college students who haven't made it to graduation and then become gainfully employed? That is what all the normal young adults that I know have done. But that is not news worthy.

What I SAID was that students graduate with the attitude of "What can YOUR company do for ME" rather than "Here is what I can bring to your company." There is an attitude of entitlement. I will add that there seems to also be a, "Well, I did the job, so I should get a raise" when the raises go to those who go above and beyond. It seems the minimal to get by is the most effort they want to put in.

Is EVERY person like this? No, but this is an attitude that was not there 25 years ago.

What does NOT graduating have to do with any of this. I never mentioned that. That is the norm you have seen?

 

[Magpie]

and can we all go back to universities are not employers of students, but rather educators of them, so comparing all of this to how an employer would treat them is an odd thing to do in teh first place?

I couldn't agree more! However, I will say, this philosophy did come back to bite us in the rear once. My son was homeschooled to the end of grade four. About halfway through Grade 5, I got called in for an impromptu parent-teacher conference. I found myself at a table with three very earnest young women, and the (male) special education teacher, who was trying very hard to not to start laughing in the middle of it all.

It seems my son didn't appreciate the "hierarchy" of the school. Or his place in it.

I said, "Is he being rude!?"

No, no, I was assured. He was always perfectly polite.

Then one of the women said, "He talks to me as if I'm a peer, not a superior!"

And another one said, "He came to me after lesson, to address issues in my classroom management techniques. I felt like I was being dressed down by my boss!"

At which point I heard a chuckle from the SERT (who really didn't seem to consider any of this an issue).

I promised them I'd talk to the boy. And I did. But, I realized I'd accidentally created the problem, when I'd raised him to believe that the school wasn't employment, it was a place you go to be taught by people who are being paid to teach you. And if you don't learn from them, you're wasting everyone's time.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't think it is odd at all. Part of education is preparation for what is coming. Students are graded. I am evaluated in my job. Others will get higher marks, get scholarships, get merit recognition, just like someone on the job may be better than I am, get the promotion, etc....

yes--students are graded and evaluated for how well ther perform in their class and with homework, etc---somewhat similarly to how you might be evaluated at work for some things.
I fail to see how that is relevant to what a university offers OUTSIDE of class to students, who pay to be there, and often must spend a great deal of their free time on campus (whereas, most adults in the working world spend very little of their non working hours in their place of employment).

And, I still maintain that students who are paying to receive and education and employees who are being paid to provide work for an employer are not analogous. Furthermore---as you say, "preperation for what is coming" IS a part of what university should do---and preparing students to handle stressful events in their life, by teaching them through trial and error or example what works for them and to recognize the need to seek out stress relief in tough situations so that they will do so on their own after college is a great way to prepare them

 

[luvsJack]

Keep making assumptions. Surely SOMEONE will be right with assumptions made about my beliefs. No, I don't think schools should offer movies during finals week. I have no problem with them leaving the exercise room open for people to use.

Because I think students should be able to find their own technique on their own. Want to color (or finger paint)? Fine, go buy yourself a book and some crayons/pencils and go to town.

Has your employer never had meetings that discussed stress management techniques and made suggestions?

They are showing these students techniques which is part of the whole teaching process.

 

[mjkacmom]

A few kids with a few good parents (which I assume are yours and mine) are anecdotal, not the norm.

Here are a few articles, but you are welcome to google yourself:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ddling-entire-generation-children-set-them-fo

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/10/1...s-see-big-lack-resilience-among-students.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tammy-bleck/have-we-coddled-our-kids-too-much_b_6600448.html

http://nypost.com/2015/05/15/coddling-americas-kids-all-the-way-into-adulthood/

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

But ultimately, we can argue this back and forth all day.

Oh, kids are definitely coddled today - by their parents who won't let them do normal age appropriate things. I think college has a way of un-coddling them. I think there is a huge problem with over parenting, making sure kids are always happy and never make mistakes, and if they do, fixing them. I think college gives some of these poor kids the opportunity to finally grow.

 

[luvsJack]

That was difficult to read.

I think Sam and I agree that there is nothing inherently wrong with puppies and coloring books. I think it just sets a precedent that student will come to EXPECT some sort of soothing device or comfort.

Do I appreciate it when my boss brings donuts and coffee? YES! But there is no expectation there.

The problem is that many of today's youth do expect it.

Why would they expect it? Most of today's youth are smarter than you are giving them credit. They have the ability to realize when something is a "treat", just like you do when your boss brings donuts and coffee. Actually in this high paced world of working that they are entering, they do need some sort of soothing devise or comfort. And just maybe remembering the puppies in college will encourage them to find something similarly as soothing. These kinds of things keep down the stress for a lot of people and EVERYone needs some kind of technique such as this.

As for being coddled, I am not sure what kids are being studied for those articles you posted but let me tell you about the large majority of our students. Let's see, we have the high achievers who went through high school with a 4.5 GPA, took all the AP classes one could take, was in every club/activity and are now a nervous wreck and stress over every point on a test or assignment, study when they don't need to, and end up on anti anxiety meds because of the stress the put themselves under. Then we also have the kids whose parents/grandparents threw out of the house at 18 even though they were not finished with high school. They get their GED and then come to college. The work 40 hours a week to pay rent and are full time students. They study hard and they work hard. We also have the kids who have kids. And they are working, go to school and raising a child at 19. They try to find a 2 year degree that will get them a good job because they need to support their child. At one point they end up doing 40 hours of clinicals AND try to hold down a job to support their job.

Which of these would you say are coddled?

 

[NHdisneylover]

What I SAID was that students graduate with the attitude of "What can YOUR company do for ME" rather than "Here is what I can bring to your company." There is an attitude of entitlement. I will add that there seems to also be a, "Well, I did the job, so I should get a raise" when the raises go to those who go above and beyond. It seems the minimal to get by is the most effort they want to put in.

Is EVERY person like this? No, but this is an attitude that was not there 25 years ago.

What does NOT graduating have to do with any of this. I never mentioned that. That is the norm you have seen?

Eh, that goes both ways (and is not everyone). Some people are really awful like that and want lots of perks for little effort. Then again, my father in law is from the generation in which a degreed engineer who was a reasonable worker (show up on time, dressed appropriately and do the job, no need to put in extra hours beyond 40ish a week, or take work home, etc) could reasonably assume that a company would hire him, provide good healthcare at low cost for him and his family, pay a decent salary, keep him until retirement and provide a pension. That is rarely the case anymore. It seems that many employers are demanding more from their employees these days with less being given in return AND that many employs are demanding more from employers (especially in the short term) with less effort going in.
It is not everyone or every company---but, yep, it is a bad trend and it is happening on BOTH sides of the equation

 

[sunshinehighway]

Exactly! It's not the concept, it's the way that it is being reported. It seems that even the most mundane subjects are now reported to incite dissension. Why did we even need an article about coloring books and puppies during finals week at a college? It was reported in such a way to get people to think that "kids today" can't handle life.

Yes, exactly. I remember having movie nights and make your own sundaes during finals. Student organizations would set up various things for students who wanted a break.
Actually the big thing at the yearly spree day was a bouncy house. Can you imagine the article that would be written about that now, a liberal arts New England University setting up a bouncy house for students.

 

[okeydokey]

Some College kids feel entitled and are lazy. Some are responsible and hard working. Some employees are entitled and lazy and some responsible and hard working. Some retirees are entitled and lazy. Some are responsible and hard working.

Stopping to play with a puppy on campus is not going to change a responsible and hard working student into an entitled one. Students pay fees that go to recreation. There are movies, sports, clubs and activities on most campuses all semester long, including during finals. Student's can take part in them, or skip them. Their choice.

 

[MinnieMouse84]

Pretty much all the millennials I know are hard-working and much more compassionate than previous generations.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

That was difficult to read.

I think Sam and I agree that there is nothing inherently wrong with puppies and coloring books. I think it just sets a precedent that student will come to EXPECT some sort of soothing device or comfort.

Do I appreciate it when my boss brings donuts and coffee? YES! But there is no expectation there.

The problem is that many of today's youth do expect it.

When your argument is proven untenable, proceed to argue against the precedent that people will expect it.

 

[Magpie]

See, now we are just arguing with what is in your mind and what you believe, whether the facts support it or not.

I can't argue that. You are free to believe however you want.

I don't think opinion pieces really count as "facts".

The first article you posted is about elevating your social status so as to be more successful in life. The second blames parents for being overly involved in their children's lives and includes quotes from sources like the founder of "FreeRangeKids.com". The third is simply the author musing about how hard she had it in her day and how it made her a better person. The fourth is a disjointed collection of tidbits such as "The percentage of men in their early 40s who have never married “has risen fourfold to 20 percent," and concludes that we're moving from childhood to sneaker-wearing old age without ever growing up. And the last is about trigger warnings and micro-aggressions, not about offering students healthy opportunities to relieve stress, IF they want to take advantage of them.

So, really, all I see here is a whole lot of the same thing we've hashed out in various forums. The fact that it's been posted on a Fox News or Huffpo site doesn't support your argument.

Now, if you want to really dig into the social science, that might help, but I've been around academics long enough to know that the research - especially in psychology and social science - is often contradictory. And that the research is almost always misrepresented in the media.

(Edit: By the way, since we're referencing opinion pieces... did you know some folks are calling our kids the "Responsible Generation"?

"Despite their overall skepticism of entrenched institutions, rejection of traditional organizations (see: religion and marriage), and unprecedented financial hardships, young people remain increasingly optimistic about their future. In turn, they’re dedicating their minds — and bodies — to solving the country’s problems; despite being low on social trust, Millennials have outpaced older generations when it comes to civic engagement. The responsible generation, obsessed with self-improvement, is here, sober, and eager to work, ready to hustle not just to make a quick buck but to change the world in the process."

https://psmag.com/the-kids-are-all-right-but-why-21eaff93a379#.gt1b0jb0o)

 

[DawnM]

I see many are still arguing their personal experiences and finding offense. That is fine. I am not going to argue anymore as it won't get us anywhere. It isn't chaining my opinion and it certainly won't change yours.

Peace.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I don't think opinion pieces really count as "facts".

The first article you posted is about elevating your social status so as to be more successful in life. The second blames parents for being overly involved in their children's lives and includes quotes from sources like the founder of "FreeRangeKids.com". The third is simply the author musing about how hard she had it in her day and how it made her a better person. The fourth is a disjointed collection of tidbits such as "The percentage of men in their early 40s who have never married “has risen fourfold to 20 percent," and concludes that we're moving from childhood to sneaker-wearing old age without ever growing up. And the last is about trigger warnings and micro-aggressions, not about offering students healthy opportunities to relieve stress, IF they want to take advantage of them.

So, really, all I see here is a whole lot of the same thing we've hashed out in various forums. The fact that it's been posted on a Fox News or Huffpo site doesn't support your argument.

Now, if you want to really dig into the social science, that might help, but I've been around academics long enough to know that the research - especially in psychology and social science - is often contradictory. And that the research is almost always misrepresented in the media.

(Edit: By the way, since we're referencing opinion pieces... did you know some folks are calling our kids the "Responsible Generation"?

"Despite their overall skepticism of entrenched institutions, rejection of traditional organizations (see: religion and marriage), and unprecedented financial hardships, young people remain increasingly optimistic about their future. In turn, they’re dedicating their minds — and bodies — to solving the country’s problems; despite being low on social trust, Millennials have outpaced older generations when it comes to civic engagement. The responsible generation, obsessed with self-improvement, is here, sober, and eager to work, ready to hustle not just to make a quick buck but to change the world in the process."

https://psmag.com/the-kids-are-all-right-but-why-21eaff93a379#.gt1b0jb0o)

WHAM!! AND MAGPIE IS TOSSING EM ALL OUT OF THE RING!!!!!! OVER THE TOP ROPE AND BOOM!! RIGHT INTO THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE.

 

[DawnM]

WHAM!! AND MAGPIE IS TOSSING EM ALL OUT OF THE RING!!!!!! OVER THE TOP ROPE AND BOOM!! RIGHT INTO THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE.

No, it just means she found an article that disagreed with my articles. There is not bing, bang, boom here. Think what you want to think and find arguments that support your own ideas. They are all over the internet.

She didn't mention the NY article or the Psychology Today or the many others. She mentioned ONE that she agreed with. Great, I hope that is true and the other many articles are wrong.

But I think they both have merit. There are many kids who are not prepared for life. Kids are moving back into their parents houses or not moving out at all more than ever before. Here is an NPR piece, is that newsworthy enough? Or do we dismiss this one too?

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-...-young-adults-live-with-parents-than-partners

There are also young people setting the world on fire. I think that is fantastic.

 

[wilkeliza]

No, it just means she found an article that disagreed with my articles. There is not bing, bang, boom here. Think what you want to think and find arguments that support your own ideas. They are all over the internet.

She didn't mention the NY article or the Psychology Today or the many others. She mentioned ONE that she agreed with. Great, I hope that is true and the other many articles are wrong.

But I think they both have merit. There are many kids who are not prepared for life. Kids are moving back into their parents houses or not moving out at all more than ever before. Here is an NPR piece, is that newsworthy enough? Or do we dismiss this one too?

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-...-young-adults-live-with-parents-than-partners

There are also young people setting the world on fire. I think that is fantastic.

The piece you quoted actually works against your opinion though. It isn't saying more kids are unprepared for life now but rather even those who are prepared, are making a fraction of what their 1970s counterparts would have when adjusted for inflation. So they are willing to move out but due to the financial burdens of student loans coupled with earning less (when adjusted for inflation of course) means these "kids" simply can't afford to move out. It never points to their coddled upbringing as the reason why but rather the Great Rescission and the lead up to that.