Clay Aiken scandal?

[tiggersmom2]

I just don't understand why this always seems to be a huge issue for entertainers. I hear it all the time about Barry Manilow, and I have the same answer.

Is he kicking puppies? Murdering small children while they sleep?

What? He's gay? Is that all? Hookairs - where's my CD?

So true. I don't care if my entertainers are gay or liberal.....just give me my music.

 

[Nancy]

Apparently this guy passed a lie detector test.

I just think it's sad that he thinks he has to deny it... he could really be a great role model for so many.

Maybe he's not gay..maybe he is bi-sexual? That way he can still say he is not gay (technicality) I like Clay, I don't care what anyones orientations are. None of my business.

 

[lulubelle]

I love Clay and every piece of music I have heard him perform. Is he gay? I think maybe, yes, but that is just my opinion and I may or may not be right. And you know what, I don't really care. Like so many others have said, it does not change my admiration and fondness of him as a person and singer one iota. I will buy his music no matter what. He and Kelly are the true standouts from AI for me.

 

[Martha7]

After watching the recent AI shows, it makes sense to me that at least on that show, Clay (if indeed gay), would have had to stay closeted to get past Simon Cowell. I've never seen someone so blatantly vicious to anyone he perceives as gay, and certainly to anyone who's overweight or someone who may have done something as minor as alter their hair color! Randy and Paula are more tolerant, IMO. So, maybe he knew he had to be considered straight to win on the show, and then keeping up the act became an attempt to remain consistent for his fans. Personally, I wouldn't care one way or another, but maybe this explains the situation. I had a dear cousin who was always very effeminate, but ended up marrying a woman who was his good friend. All seemed fine until she started to press the issue of having kids, at which time he confessed to her that he was gay. They divorced, and he ended up passing away a year later from sepsis. (He was only 42.) I wish he had known that we didn't care, and that he could have lived openly and happily, rather than wasting so much of his life, living according to someone else's idea of what was right. Sorry to go OT here, but my point is that life is too short to live unhappily! I hope Clay can live the way he chooses, without fear of his career or fans going away!

 

[Disney Doll]

I just noticed that no one had posted this today, and I thought it was bizarre because usually every news item comes up one way or another...so I thought I'd post it, knowing there are a lot of Clay fans here. I voted for him myself, although I don't care for his style of music. I do think though, that if he is gay he should just come out and quit being coy about it.
Robin M.

You know, that whole "coming out" thing was one thing I never understood.

Why do people think that anyone cares who they have sex with?

Why do some homosexual people feel the need to "come out"? Why do some heterosexual people feel the need to "out" someone? As if this information is a huge deal or important in any way?

Why does anyone really think it matters?

I mean, I am not gay. But I have also never felt the need too announce "I like to have sex with men". And quite frankly, if I was gay, I also don't think I'd feel the need to announce "I like to have sex with women".

I would live my life and assume people would figure out my preferences based on that, if it mattered to them at all.

Frankly, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me if Clay Aiken is gay, straight, or likes to have sex with a chicken. The only people who should be concerned about his sexual preferences are the people with whom he is intimately involved.

If it doesn't bother them, it certainly doesn't bother me.

 

[Disney Doll]

He certainly doesn't have to, but to be true to his feelings, come out and declare "who he really is" - because sexuality is a key part of who we all really are - would strengthen some the tens of thousands of young men who live with the same secret.

So, I assume you declare "who you really are" each time you meet someone new? And you are assuming they care, right?

And is gay all he really is?

I just don't get it.

 

[lookingforward]

I don't think he has to announce anything about himself. Most people don't go around exclaiming their sexuality. He is a fantastic entertainer and deserves the success he has attained. Does it matter who he chooses to sleep with? I hope he continues to do well and if the story is true I hope he picks his partners more carefully in the future.

 

[icebrat001]

You know, that whole "coming out" thing was one thing I never understood.

Why do people think that anyone cares who they have sex with?

Why do some homosexual people feel the need to "come out"? Why do some heterosexual people feel the need to "out" someone? As if this information is a huge deal or important in any way?

Why does anyone really think it matters?

I mean, I am not gay. But I have also never felt the need too announce "I like to have sex with men". And quite frankly, if I was gay, I also don't think I'd feel the need to announce "I like to have sex with women".

I would live my life and assume people would figure out my preferences based on that, if it mattered to them at all.

Frankly, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me if Clay Aiken is gay, straight, or likes to have sex with a chicken. The only people who should be concerned about his sexual preferences are the people with whom he is intimately involved.

If it doesn't bother them, it certainly doesn't bother me.

I can try to answer some of these questions. I am "out" on these boards, but not so much in real life.

Are you married? I ask this because if you are with friends or coworkers and say, oh my husband and I are going here, or someone sends you flowers you may say something like, oh isn't that sweet my husband sent me flowers, or if you work at a desk you may have a picture of you and your husband together.

If you are gay, you can't really say oh look how sweet, my partner sent me flower because any word you use is pretty much going to clue that person into the fact that you are gay, you catch them off guard and they don't know what hit them and have no clue on how to react. I couldn't have a picture of me and SO on a desk, what would they think?

For instance, if you are married and you are on your husbands health insurance, no big deal, you go to the hospital and you have no questions asked. I am on my partners insurance because she is my domestic partner and the people question me, how did you get on so and so's insurance, you know it's illegal to get insurance with your friend and then you have to go into this long drawn out story.

If you are invited to work functions and to bring your spouse and if you show up with your partner, would do you do? Go alone because you don't want them to know that you are gay at that function?

If you come out ahead of time to these people you wouldn't have to explain yourself later.

People aren't coming out to say hey I sleep with a woman. People are coming out to people they "care" about so they won't find out from someone else or just hear about it all of a sudden.

I probably didn't explain that very good.

Oh well.

 

[4greatboys]

OK, Warning this is OFF TOPIC!
But, why do you feel the need to chastize someone for making a clarification.
I found this quite rude of you and unnecessary.
Back to OT......................

ITA.


As for Clay or any other celebrity they shouldnt have to come out if they dont want to. Its none of my business and really I will still like the music same as before. But sadly to some it does make a difference which is why many feel they still have to hide it.

 

[Planogirl]

I can try to answer some of these questions. I am "out" on these boards, but not so much in real life.

Are you married? I ask this because if you are with friends or coworkers and say, oh my husband and I are going here, or someone sends you flowers you may say something like, oh isn't that sweet my husband sent me flowers, or if you work at a desk you may have a picture of you and your husband together.

If you are gay, you can't really say oh look how sweet, my partner sent me flower because any word you use is pretty much going to clue that person into the fact that you are gay, you catch them off guard and they don't know what hit them and have no clue on how to react. I couldn't have a picture of me and SO on a desk, what would they think?

For instance, if you are married and you are on your husbands health insurance, no big deal, you go to the hospital and you have no questions asked. I am on my partners insurance because she is my domestic partner and the people question me, how did you get on so and so's insurance, you know it's illegal to get insurance with your friend and then you have to go into this long drawn out story.

If you are invited to work functions and to bring your spouse and if you show up with your partner, would do you do? Go alone because you don't want them to know that you are gay at that function?

If you come out ahead of time to these people you wouldn't have to explain yourself later.

People aren't coming out to say hey I sleep with a woman. People are coming out to people they "care" about so they won't find out from someone else or just hear about it all of a sudden.

I probably didn't explain that very good.

Oh well.

You explained it very well IMO.

Do all of these things really come up? Wow, it never occurs to me to wonder what a partner or significant other means. I just know that it's someone important to that person.

People are really way too concerned about what goes on in other people's lives IMO. I guess that coming out wouldn't be necessary if that wasn't the case though.

 

[Disney Doll]

You explained it very well IMO.

Do all of these things really come up? Wow, it never occurs to me to wonder what a partner or significant other means. I just know that it's someone important to that person.

People are really way too concerned about what goes on in other people's lives IMO. I guess that coming out wouldn't be necessary if that wasn't the case though.

I guess I am of the mind that the more of an issue you think something is, the more of an issue others will think it is.

Don't get me wrong, I am not naive enough to think that it's easy being gay, even now when we are more "enlightened" than we used to be. But I also think that the more of an "announcement" you make something, the bigger deal it is.

In all honesty, at this point, if you have never brought a male date to a work function, if you have never spoken about a "boyfriend", if you have never had a picture of a boyfriend on your desk, chances are some of the folks you work with may be speculating that you're gay. Do they treat you any differently? And if so, why are you tolerating it? How do you introduce your partner if you bump into a work colleague at the supermarket? Do you just say "this is my friend"? Does that hurt your partner's feelings? Isn't the secrecy harder than just living your life?

I guess I just think that the more normal you make something, the more normal others are going to make it. I assume you don't feel that your lifestyle is "wrong", which it isn't, it's just different. So why do oyu act as if it is 'wrong" on some level? Of course, there are always going to be ignorant people, but if they're not being ignorant about gay, then they are being ignorant about being Italian, being fat, "being" something. Them, you just have to ignore, because if they aren't ragging on you for being gay, they'll be ragging on you for being a woman, or for being black, or for living in such-and-such a neighborhood or for wearing a pink dress to work. Just imagine if you were a gay, fat, Italian what they'd be saying!!!

With all the press about civil unions, gay marriage etc. I am amazed that there are places that question things like insurance. I mean, I work at a Catholic hospital, (ah...the Catholic Church...the last bastion of moral superiority according to some on these boards) and even their paperwork has been changed to say "spouse/domestic partner", so that if it is a situation where it is a gay couple, we know that the person named there has spousal rights.

Lately I am finding that there are so many things that I just don't understand.

 

[CJK]

The thing that makes me sad, is how we still live in a society where people are fearful of being themselves (ie. being openly gay). I have wonderful gay friends. If someone is intolerant , they'd miss out on such wonderful relationships with people.

I remember when Rosie O'Donnell publicly came out as being gay. My MIL was stunned and no longer had any interest in following Rosie's career. It just makes me so sad. I know my MIL is not alone. I don't blame some people for not coming out for that reason.

 

[Fantasmic303]

He certainly doesn't have to, but to be true to his feelings, come out and declare "who he really is" - because sexuality is a key part of who we all really are - would strengthen some the tens of thousands of young men who live with the same secret.

I'm going to try to calmly address things in this thread, but I can't even read all the way through it because it's been going in circles for Clay fans all week, and, to be honest, I'm a little sick of it. I thought the DIS would be the one board I could go to and not have to deal with it.

Clay has stated that he is not gay. What you/people in this thread are suggesting is that he is NOT declaring "who he really is" because he is not saying he IS gay. I'm not attacking you, so don't take this personally...it is only that I have heard this way too many times this week to not get my blood boiled. It just makes me sorta chuckle that so many people, not only with Clay but with anyone of "questionable" orientation, will not believe the truth until the "truth" is that the person is gay. Is it not possible that he is NOT gay?

From meeting Clay, as well as reading his memoirs, and watching him interview, I get the distinct impression that he is simply a Southern mama's boy gentleman. Which comes with its own set of problems, but that's neither here nor there.


And, to specifically address THIS scandal, the story "broke" in the National Enquirer. Yeah, I'd say that's a reputable source. The guy in question? He's a Green Beret - from what I've been told, these are people trained to withstand much worse than lie detectors to be careful about revealing exactly the information they want to. Now, I'm no expert on Green Berets, so I don't know, that could be wrong. And the details of his "story" don't match up for people who know anything about Clay (his age, for example, being has how his accusor claims he presented himself as a different one).

One more thing....

...obviously, for Clay fans, this has been an issue all week. A lot of them have gone over the edge worrying about how he's dealing with it, and his management responded by telling the fandom that he wasn't even IN Raleigh at the time in quesiton - he was in New York City.

Now, with all of that being said, perhaps we can change the title of this thread to, "NEW CLAY AIKEN CD EXPECTED TO BE RELEASED IN JUNE." See, it seems like all the good Clay news stays within the official thread on the DIS...it's only this garbage that gets its own thread on the board.

Thanks. And a big wave to my friends from the OFFICIAL thread.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

clay rocks and i dont believe it

 

[scarlett873]

I was wondering when you'd show up Kylene...lol

 

[lsyorke]

My thoughts exactly Kelly!!!! Thanks for putting them together for me!!!

 

[Fantasmic303]

I was wondering when you'd show up Kylene...lol

lol - You and Cookie (among others) did a respectable job of holding down the Clay fort.

By the way, just saw your new ticker - CONGRATULATIONS!! I'll keep you guys in my thoughts for a smooth journey to build your family!!


(And, naturally, to double the number of Clay fans in your house, since Baby Ella won't be an easy convert. )

 

[aprilgail2]

He certainly has a lot of feminine qualities thats for sure! I personally can't stand to look at him or hear him sing simply because I don't think he is that good and he is pretty darn odd looking!

 

[icebrat001]

In all honesty, at this point, if you have never brought a male date to a work function, if you have never spoken about a "boyfriend", if you have never had a picture of a boyfriend on your desk, chances are some of the folks you work with may be speculating that you're gay. Do they treat you any differently? And if so, why are you tolerating it? How do you introduce your partner if you bump into a work colleague at the supermarket? Do you just say "this is my friend"? Does that hurt your partner's feelings? Isn't the secrecy harder than just living your life?
.

If you don't bring a male to a work function or speak about men or have no pictures of a man on your desk, yes they speculate if you are gay or not, and then the discrimination begins and some people are so cruel as to make up false accusations to get you fired so they won't have someone you they think is gay in "their" work environment.

If you bring up the fact that you are gay/lesbian in the work environment and then talk about your partner is anyway, you are told that you are bringing your personal life into the workplace and that's a no no. Although it's okay for a straight person so say, "yeah, so me and my husband are going to Hawaii". No one thinks twice about that, but if you say, "yeah, so me and my partner are going to Hawaii", they tell you to keep it to yourself.

Either way, it's a lose/lose situation.

Dear SO and I have bumped into coworkers before and we may so, this is my friend. Sure it can get bothersome, but you do what you have to do. If you get caught holding hands in the movie theatre and a coworker happens to see that, all they will do is tell Sally, who will tell Bob to Susan to Mary and it will spread like a wild fire.

The secrecy can get annoying, but this world is not perfect and people can be very cruel. I think it's better to keep everything to yourself and deal with the depression within to let me people and risk getting fired from yet another job or be sexually harrassed by men in the workplace telling you to do it just once so you know what you are missing. You have to make a living somehow and if that means "staying in the closet" that's what has to be done.

My own family, mother, father, sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins EVERYONE disowned me the second they found out I was gay, and I haven't spoke to them since that day. I've tried but you know people like me are disgusting.

All in all, in Clay is gay, I don't blame him for wanting to keep it to himself.

Look what happened to Ellen and Rosie. Look how many years it took Melissa Etheridge to come out. Think about the fact that actors and actresses are afraid to play homosexual roles. It's a shame but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

 

[tiggersmom2]

He certainly has a lot of feminine qualities thats for sure! I personally can't stand to look at him or hear him sing simply because I don't think he is that good and he is pretty darn odd looking!