class parties and food allergies, what do you do?

[WeLoveLilo05]

DD has a peanut allergy. I have stressed to her NOT to eat anything from anyone at her table even though she is at a nut free table.

So, for their first school party I asked the teacher about the food that would be coming in. She said they cannot have candy in the school and the class parents have to bring all the food they are bringing in to the nurse w/ the labels so she could approve due to the allergies, so not to worry.

I was volunteer anyway for this particular party, so I went, and I packed DD a snack just in case.
When I was with the other class mom's, fixing plates, I asked "and was this all checked by the nurse for those with food allergies?" the class moms said No. So I started checking labels and most was fine, anything that was homemade I did not give DD. There was a package of pretzels that I knew she could not have, and when the moms were handing them out I said that DD could not have them and I don't know if it would be safe for the others at the nut free table either since it said "made on machinery that also processes peanuts". The little boy sitting next to DD said "I eat them at home", now I didn't know if he was thinking of a different pretzel brand or what, but the class mom didn't give it to him and I came to find out before I left that HE was the one who brought them in, then I felt bad b/c I denied the boy the pretzels, but then I started thinking, why was he sent in with them if he sits at the nut free table? Yes, maybe his allergy is more mild than my daughter's but still he's at the nut free table. DD knows not to share things with other kiddos, but things like class parties where everyone is getting food...

So now, their next party is thanksgiving in which they do a big feast, IDK what to do, if I should just send her in with turkey cold cuts, some corn? Should I just take responsibility for all the parties for my DD and tell her do not eat ANYTHING from ANYONE at the parties?

 

[marlynnp]

I always sent in a box of snacks for my daughter at the start of each school year. She knew that was all she should eat unless it came from the cafeteria.

You said 'nut free' table. You do know that peanuts & tree nuts are two different things, right? Maybe the boy is allergic only to tree nuts.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I always sent in a box of snacks for my daughter at the start of each school year. She knew that was all she should eat unless it came from the cafeteria.

You said 'nut free' table. You do know that peanuts & tree nuts are two different things, right? Maybe the boy is allergic only to tree nuts.

yes but what I mean is, if your at the nut free table then No nuts whatsoever should be at that table.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

DD has a peanut allergy. I have stressed to her NOT to eat anything from anyone at her table even though she is at a nut free table.

So, for their first school party I asked the teacher about the food that would be coming in. She said they cannot have candy in the school and the class parents have to bring all the food they are bringing in to the nurse w/ the labels so she could approve due to the allergies, so not to worry.

I was volunteer anyway for this particular party, so I went, and I packed DD a snack just in case.
When I was with the other class mom's, fixing plates, I asked "and was this all checked by the nurse for those with food allergies?" the class moms said No. So I started checking labels and most was fine, anything that was homemade I did not give DD. There was a package of pretzels that I knew she could not have, and when the moms were handing them out I said that DD could not have them and I don't know if it would be safe for the others at the nut free table either since it said "made on machinery that also processes peanuts". The little boy sitting next to DD said "I eat them at home", now I didn't know if he was thinking of a different pretzel brand or what, but the class mom didn't give it to him and I came to find out before I left that HE was the one who brought them in, then I felt bad b/c I denied the boy the pretzels, but then I started thinking, why was he sent in with them if he sits at the nut free table? Yes, maybe his allergy is more mild than my daughter's but still he's at the nut free table. DD knows not to share things with other kiddos, but things like class parties where everyone is getting food...

So now, their next party is thanksgiving in which they do a big feast, IDK what to do, if I should just send her in with turkey cold cuts, some corn? Should I just take responsibility for all the parties for my DD and tell her do not eat ANYTHING from ANYONE at the parties?

I would not let her partake. It's not worth the risk.

I would still send something so she can participate, but I would be sincerely uncomfortable with the position she would be in, especially since you were told one thing and experienced another.

People who have kids that DON'T have allergies don't always think that far ahead. My friend's son is severely allergic to tree nuts. When we have them over, I have to hide our candy bucket. He got into the bucket 1 time... I did not have it sorted out because my kids don't have allergies. Luckily, he didn't consume anything that would hurt him, but ever since that day, I make sure to prepare stuff for the whole group that he can have, so there is no question.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

yes but what I mean is, if your at the nut free table then No nuts whatsoever should be at that table.

Yup. If it's no nuts, it should be no nuts. Again, I bet these kids aren't packing epipens in their backpacks... it's just too risky.

 

[Ceila]

It sounds like your child's teacher and school nurse didn't follow protocol. In our school, the teachers are very aware of allergy issues and work closely with the nurse to deal with them. Kids with allergies either had to have the treats approved by the nurse or they couldn't have them. As a room mom, this was made very clear to me. Our school nurse is very pro-active about this issue. It sounds like yours is not. I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and the nurse and explain what you saw happen and see if you can work together to come up wth a better plan for future parties.

If I was in your shoes, I would find out what was going to be served and provide my daughter with an equivalent treat myself that I knew was safe, or I would volunteer to be there to monitor the foods my daughter ate. Your daughter is too young to read labels, and clearly the teacher are nurse are not doing what they told you they would do. I wouldn't leave it to chance.

 

[monkeybug]

My daughter has a friend in class that has a tree nut allergy. Her mom usually brings in special stuff for her. There are a few moms in the class (myself included) who just call the mom before a party and make sure what we are bringing is OK. Her mom is always at the parties and just makes the plate for her daughter.
The reason the little boy could have the pretzels could be because kids with allergies to tree nuts are actually not allergic (unless they have two allergies) to peanuts. Maybe he has a tree nut allergy?
I had been making my daughters sandwiches with soy nut butter (because I knew she sat with the girl with the allergies at lunch time, and played with her immediately after at recess) until the girls Mom told me she's not allergic to peanuts! LOL!

 

[mamamary]

One thing just popped into my head. When my kids were in elem. school (last year) there were nut free tables. Because it wasn't a very large cafeteria even kids without allergies may have been assigned to sit there. I know my daughter was assigned that table and if for some reason on that day she had something that would affect the other kids she would move tables for that day. So I'm thinking that maybe that boy didn't have allergies but just sits at that table?

 

[marlynnp]

yes but what I mean is, if your at the nut free table then No nuts whatsoever should be at that table.

But he didn't have nuts or a nut product.

Pretzels that have been processed in a facility that also processes peanut products are not going to be an issue unless they are ingested. Your daughter will most likely be spending many years at a nut free table. I can tell you from experience, that no one is checking every item that kids bring in their lunch bags to see if they've been processed in peanut/tree nut free facilities. I had to complain at the elementary school when they put the open trash cans adjacent to the nut free table and all the kids were coming past to throw away their leftover pb&j sandwiches.

Number one thing your daughter should know is to never ever eat any food that doesn't come from you or people you have approved.

 

[lovetoscrap]

If you have the ability to attend the parties I would just plan to attend every party and bring things for her to fill in for anything brought that she can 't have. I would also plan to send in some things to be kept in case of Birthday Parties or other celebrations. If there are some packaged cakes or other treat that are okay for her that can be kept by the teacher for these times that will be easier for her. She should not accept any type of food from anyone except what you have approved.

Also you might want to get to know the other moms in the class, particularly if there are other Peanut Allergy kids. If you can talk maybe you can trade off who goes to the parties. Or if you are friendly with another mom that you can trust. My dd10's best friend has a peanut allergy and I know her mother trusts me to carefully check all labels and approve what she can have.

I wouldn't even trust the nurse approval. I know we often have substitute nurses in and while I trust our nurse with my child's life, some of the subs, not so much. I would want to be there in person making the decisions myself.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I would send her with her own snacks.

As for the other kids, this is such a hard line. I never realized how serious a true food alergy could be until I met a lady that was very allergic to shellfish, a friend of hers had eaten lobster and on the way out kissed her check. She blew up like a balloon and was in the ER.

What I think really makes it hard is that some parents will say their child has an allergy when they really don't. A mom on my daughter's soccer team put her DD had a citrus allergy so we were all told no citrus. I didn't know who it was and had made a comment that I hoped grapes/apples would be okay because i normally packed oranges. She said not to worry she just put that because her DD doesn't like oranges. Another mom piped up and said she puts her son has a peanut allergy because she doesn't want to take a risk. So to me these moms create a reason for others to doubt and be more slack. Taking precautions is one thing but it can lead to people not realizing how serious a true food allergy really can be.

 

[C.Ann]

So now, their next party is thanksgiving in which they do a big feast, IDK what to do, if I should just send her in with turkey cold cuts, some corn? Should I just take responsibility for all the parties for my DD and tell her do not eat ANYTHING from ANYONE at the parties?

Oh - that's a tough one! I don't know what the heck I would do.. Was there a Thanksgiving feast last year? If so, how did you handle that?

I wish I could offer some advice, but never having had to deal with that situation I just don't know.. I hope someone here can help you..

 

[Ceila]

But he didn't have nuts or a nut product.

Pretzels that have been processed in a facility that also processes peanut products are not going to be an issue unless they are ingested. Your daughter will most likely be spending many years at a nut free table. I can tell you from experience, that no one is checking every item that kids bring in their lunch bags to see if they've been processed in peanut/tree nut free facilities. I had to complain at the elementary school when they put the open trash cans adjacent to the nut free table and all the kids were coming past to throw away their leftover pb&j sandwiches.

At our elementary school, only kids with nut allergies or parents who send in a note confirming that their child's lunch is totally nut free (including "processed in a plant...") may sit at the nut-free table. The kids with allergies usually have parents who understand the rules and abide by them, and the parents who send in the notes are the parents of friends of the allergic kids, so they follow the rules, too.

Number one thing your daughter should know is to never ever eat any food that doesn't come from you or people you have approved.

Absolutely!

 

[Wendy31]

Well, since you asked prior to the party & were told that the nurse would pre-approve the snacks/treats & then were told during the party that that, in fact, hadn't happened, if I were you, I would first ask for clarification on that policy.

However, I would ask in a totally non-combative/non-accusatory way but more in a "concerned" way to find out what happened & then ask about the upcoming Thanksgiving pary & what kinds of food will be served - like, I would imagine that mashed potatoes would be okay because I don't know anyone what would make them w/ peanuts or peanut oil. Of course, you never know, I guess!

 

[princessmom29]

I would send her with her own snacks.

As for the other kids, this is such a hard line. I never realized how serious a true food alergy could be until I met a lady that was very allergic to shellfish, a friend of hers had eaten lobster and on the way out kissed her check. She blew up like a balloon and was in the ER.

What I think really makes it hard is that some parents will say their child has an allergy when they really don't. A mom on my daughter's soccer team put her DD had a citrus allergy so we were all told no citrus. I didn't know who it was and had made a comment that I hoped grapes/apples would be okay because i normally packed oranges. She said not to worry she just put that because her DD doesn't like oranges. Another mom piped up and said she puts her son has a peanut allergy because she doesn't want to take a risk. So to me these moms create a reason for others to doubt and be more slack. Taking precautions is one thing but it can lead to people not realizing how serious a true food allergy really can be.

My DH is allgeric to shellfish and does the same thing. i have to be VERY carefulr with cross contamination. I only eat shrimp at my mom's house and have to throughly wash hands and brush my teeth when I am done. DD7 is allergic aswell, but hers is not as severe. We police our own allergies, and watch carefully for foods with shellfish in them. DD knows what can be dangerous and not to eat anything that could possibly contain shellfish. Her school cafeteria serves shrimp, so we just don't buy school lunches on those days. There is no "shrimp free table" she knows not to sit next to someone eating shrimp. I tell her, when in dobut, ask an adut to check wether something has shrimp in it or not.

 

[mlynn]

DD has a peanut allergy. I have stressed to her NOT to eat anything from anyone at her table even though she is at a nut free table.

So, for their first school party I asked the teacher about the food that would be coming in. She said they cannot have candy in the school and the class parents have to bring all the food they are bringing in to the nurse w/ the labels so she could approve due to the allergies, so not to worry.

I was volunteer anyway for this particular party, so I went, and I packed DD a snack just in case.
When I was with the other class mom's, fixing plates, I asked "and was this all checked by the nurse for those with food allergies?" the class moms said No. So I started checking labels and most was fine, anything that was homemade I did not give DD. There was a package of pretzels that I knew she could not have, and when the moms were handing them out I said that DD could not have them and I don't know if it would be safe for the others at the nut free table either since it said "made on machinery that also processes peanuts". The little boy sitting next to DD said "I eat them at home", now I didn't know if he was thinking of a different pretzel brand or what, but the class mom didn't give it to him and I came to find out before I left that HE was the one who brought them in, then I felt bad b/c I denied the boy the pretzels, but then I started thinking, why was he sent in with them if he sits at the nut free table? Yes, maybe his allergy is more mild than my daughter's but still he's at the nut free table. DD knows not to share things with other kiddos, but things like class parties where everyone is getting food...

So now, their next party is thanksgiving in which they do a big feast, IDK what to do, if I should just send her in with turkey cold cuts, some corn? Should I just take responsibility for all the parties for my DD and tell her do not eat ANYTHING from ANYONE at the parties?

My dd6 has a list of foods that are allowed in the classroom. It was made up from the teacher and the parents of the kids iwth the allergies. My dd is peanut.But we have Tree nuts,egg Milk, raw veggies, apples &pears So with that we came up a list and nobody can sub the list.It has to be that brand.

I know not all schools do this but we have some many in the class and we made the list so the parents with out a list are able to go buy stuff without having to read the labels.It is a fun list.We know that the kids will be safe having it. We also have a mom who is peanut free who makes all baked goods for the class from Cherrydale foods.

Here is some of the list

Rold Gold Pretzels
Teddy grahams cookies
oreo's (name brand only)
Swedish Fish (namd brand only)
Marino's Cherry Water ice
Lugies Lemon Water ice
Organanic so delicious Vanilla ice cream.
Pringles
Air popped pop corn.
Joy sugar cones.

There's more but maybe talk to the staff at the school abou tdoing this or just find out what others are bring in and make sure you have something with you.