class gift exchange - slight vent

[GinnyEmma]

"Nothing to do with an exchange" is a stretch. If there was no exchange, the other child wouldn't have callously noticed that the PP's gift wasn't "up to par."

If there was no school there would be no exchange and no stupid teacher. They ought to cancel all school!

 

[Gillian]

I teach 2nd grade at an school where 97% of our kids live below the poverty level. I buy each child a stocking, put their name on it, and hang them in the back of the classroom. I send a note home asking each child to bring a small gift for each child in the classroom --- Very small - like a pencil, piece of candy, eraser, etc. They get to play Santa and put the gifts in the stockings while the others are out of the room. On the day of the party they get to take down their stocking and see what is inside. I am always amazed at how almost every student brings something! --Some more than others - but that is OK. Everyone gets the same thing. I also put my gift to them in the stocking. It is fun!

This sounds fun!

Gift exchanges suck. I took my daughter shopping for hers on Amazon.com. I couldn't believe it when she picked out something I had already bought for her (for less $) and that she said SHE wouldn't really like, but that the girls in her class would.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Eh, I would have just pulled hers. Everybody wins.

 

[Lyndria]

I teach 2nd grade at an school where 97% of our kids live below the poverty level. I buy each child a stocking, put their name on it, and hang them in the back of the classroom. I send a note home asking each child to bring a small gift for each child in the classroom --- Very small - like a pencil, piece of candy, eraser, etc. They get to play Santa and put the gifts in the stockings while the others are out of the room. On the day of the party they get to take down their stocking and see what is inside. I am always amazed at how almost every student brings something! --Some more than others - but that is OK. Everyone gets the same thing. I also put my gift to them in the stocking. It is fun!

LOVE LOVE LOVE this!

 

[klacey1]

If there was no school there would be no exchange and no stupid teacher. They ought to cancel all school!

The snarkiness is SO appreciated! Thanks a whole bunch! Sheesh, can't even sympathize with someone without someone having to be rude about it.
The point was that the exchange revealed students who had less/more money, which really has no place in school. Thus, exchanges of that nature shouldn't (IMHO) be done.

 

[jeepgirl30]

sorry everyone i didn't mean to sound like a scroodge! The reference to the mismatched gift was not a complaint about the book she received just meant to say I wanted to be sure I sent something that would not be looked at as a bad gift. I don't care, nor does she, what she gets in return.

My frustration was with the lack of notice and lack of information. This teacher has been like this all year, send in a treat for 30 kids tomorrow has happend more than once!

I thought i was done shopping and then i got a few extra collections to participate in and then the class exchange so that was the source of my vent.

I did email the teacher and found out it is a $5 gift. I went to 5 below and thought about what i would put in DDs stocking and went from there. She likes it, hopefully the other child will as well.

 

[shirleyb]

None of my kids have ever had gift exchanges in school and neither did I as a kid. I really don't see the point of it. To me, a gift should be something personal and a gift exchange by its nature means the gift is just generic.

 

[tomaszewski58]

I understand that the teachers are trying to teach the children about the joy of giving to others. But really, aren't we just a little busy right now?

And isn't this holiday season way to focused on the gifts? There are many more teachable moments that don't involve parents buying one more gift; and receiving one more trinket that we don't need.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I work at a school. I dont think gift exchanges are a good idea. Some kids are lucky to have food in the fridge and decent clothes to wear others come from good families who have good incomes. We have some parent who are involved with their kids and would send in stuff and some even go overboard. We also have parent who work and are barely making ends meet.1-2 parent who just dont care about their kids having food, clean clothes or even bathing thier kids so sending in a gift wouldnt be done.

We did lots of crafts and had a simple party. I wanted to make treat bags for each kid and put in a $1 gift but funds are low(I'm just the instructional aide). The teacher didnt do anything for the kids and isnt into crafting or parties.

I just think gift exchanges should not be in a school setting. Maybe the teacher buying beads or a craft item the kids can make something and gift exchange that. There's no pressure of $$$ or one being better then the other.

 

[dumboiu]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

I have thought long and hard about your post. My heart goes out to you and how this gift exchange has impacted your childhood. However, I can't help but think there may have been more to this story that perhaps you, as a child, know or remember. I have no idea what that is, but something just seems to be missing here. At any rate, I can empathize with your experience.

 

[MartinaC]

My sons class exchanged gifts and the limit was $5 so that must be pretty common.

 

[GinnyEmma]

The snarkiness is SO appreciated! Thanks a whole bunch! Sheesh, can't even sympathize with someone without someone having to be rude about it.
The point was that the exchange revealed students who had less/more money, which really has no place in school. Thus, exchanges of that nature shouldn't (IMHO) be done.

lol,not everything is snarkiness. Sometimes it just making a point. You don't always have to threow the baby out with the bathwater. Sometimes it makes more sense to deal with the real issue which was stupid adults. IMHO, stuff like this is usually fun, and there isn't any reason school shouldn't be a little bit fun.

OP, it stinks not to have a heads up. I like to know what is expected of me.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

The point was that the exchange revealed students who had less/more money, which really has no place in school. Thus, exchanges of that nature shouldn't (IMHO) be done.

Every week in my DD's class, there are things done that would call out a child's economic conditions, a gift exchange is not a tell all. Friday we had my dd's class party, early in the day when I did the lunch counts I collected the presents so no one knew who did and did not bring a present. Each of the 9 kids that didn't I whispered I have one in the car and I will drop it in the bag for you. No child in that class knew almost 1/2 the kids didn't bring a present. The teacher and myself covered those presents so no one was left out.

I am sorry for the PP's experience, but it is the fault of the so called adults at that school, not a gift exchange.

Who has less or more money is apparent no matter what. The only kids in our school that I know are on free lunches is because the parents talk openly about it in front of the other parents, which in turn gets back to the kids.

 

[Friendly Frog]

I so hate late notices. I had planned on sending in some extras just so no one got left out as I know how it felt when one child in my son's kindergarten class was going to be left out. .

That is so thoughtful of you.

 

[Leajess99]

Wow, I am saddened by some of the experiences others have had with gift exchanges. I have to say my kids don't really seem to care about what they get and many times my middle one has given her gift to someone else because she felt bad for them. My youngest has never really had a bad experience but this would have only been her 2nd year doing it and since we had no school the last 2 days last week no party.

I saw someone mention about how gift exchanges revealed what students we basically less fortunate and I wanted to share something. In my experience, the kids that were considered poor would often find away to participate. We have had many well off families not send anything in because they knew someone else would cover for them. It is the same situation with school supplies. Because many of us do not want to see kids go without we do cover for them. So please remember that a gift exchange is not always a way to see who is poor.

And just because a child may be on free lunches or food stamps does not always mean they should be. Case in point - http://www.wlky.com/news/26197660/detail.html Even the father of 2 of the children state the children are not needy. It is just sad and this is not the only one in our area that has been busted for fraud with Christmas or welfare assistance. It is sad that some children go without

 

[GinnyEmma]

Free lunches are a whole other story. I know people on the program who are doing quite fine. Usually because the people I know tend to be thrifty, but an exchane of $5 would not be an issue.

I love the teacher who has the stockings. What
a sweet idea! .

 

[allison443]

I am really surprised at all the public schools that have Christmas gift exchanges. I haven't heard of that around here...
My kids attend Catholic elementary and high school. Their schools obviously celebrate Christmas (as opposed to "winter" which is usually the theme for december parties in the public schools here) but there has never been a gift exchange between students in school.

The teachers sometimes gave out little gifts, the PTA gave each child a small treat, and kids gave teachers gifts. But no gift exchanges.

Any other places that never have a gift exchange?

 

[Marionnette]

sorry everyone i didn't mean to sound like a scroodge! The reference to the mismatched gift was not a complaint about the book she received just meant to say I wanted to be sure I sent something that would not be looked at as a bad gift. I don't care, nor does she, what she gets in return.

My frustration was with the lack of notice and lack of information. This teacher has been like this all year, send in a treat for 30 kids tomorrow has happend more than once!

I thought i was done shopping and then i got a few extra collections to participate in and then the class exchange so that was the source of my vent.

I did email the teacher and found out it is a $5 gift. I went to 5 below and thought about what i would put in DDs stocking and went from there. She likes it, hopefully the other child will as well.

I totally understood your frustration as expressed in your first post. There just happen to be people who will take any vent on here and run with it. Im glad that you got an answer from the teacher and were able to find something a child in her class will like. I hope she has a good time this afternoon at the gift exchange.

 

[tyniknate]

Do our kids really need another $5 item of any kind that will most likely end up in the junk pile shortly after it is given? I mean, come on - even if you are the thriftiest of shoppers a $5 gift is still something that will most likely be broken and forgotten about in a couple days. It might as well be $5 or $10 you've thrown out the window. Can't an afternoon party with time to play games together and enjoy snacks just be enough? These are kids and they are happy just having time at school doing non-school stuff with their friends. A movie of some type with special movie snacks; kids bring in board games from home and play for the afternoon; or whatever. Personally, gift exchanges have been banned at the school districts in our area for quite a few years and I have yet to hear one parent or child complain about it not happening.

 

[DisneygirlTeacher]

Being a first grade teacher for MANY years...lol...I soon learned that gift (book) exchanges just don't work. I teach at a school that I love that has many, many low-income students. When I used to ask for a book to be sent in, most couldn't afford to do it. I'd end up buying the books, which got to be very expensive. Now, we just have a last day party, which they are all happy with. My advice is to keep it simple and believe me, the children are just as happy!