I like Clark's rant when he get his "Jelly of the month" bonus. You know the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
Pass the Tylenol!!!

Love this rant! Also:
Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *******s this side of the nuthouse.
and
Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
and this one is so crude it could describe a few of our rather unpleasant relatives LOL...
Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an ***hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: *****er was full.
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our *****ers, honey?
Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
I loved this movie growing up, watched ANYTHING with Chevy Chase I could get my hands on, and was so excited to find it on DVD. I bought it and the kids and I watched it together last year. They thought it was hilarious (although, I did caution that some words could NOT be repeated

)