Christmas Spending

[Marionnette]

I suggest that you may want to stop digging before putting yourself into a deeper hole.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I think you are making the assumption that because my feelings vary from some of the posters, that I am in the wrong. I'm not wrong, just feel differently. I've never pointed a finger at anyone and said what they chose to do is "wrong". I've stated what our family does and that was the original purpose of this thread and every thread on these boards. They are about the sharing of ideas and whether you or anyone else agrees is beside the point.

I would imagine I am not alone in the thinking that some people do go unnecessarily over board on Christmas spending. It's not my own concept, it's just a common opinion shared by millions on and off the boards. If you are happy spending $700 or more per child, I'm thrilled you have the finances and the ability to do that. It's your Christmas to celebrate as you choose, just like the rest of us. If you take any implication or assumption from that, that's your business as well.

The original post was about spending more, less or about $700 and I've stated we spend less than that and why. I never said you or anyone else had to follow my family's thinking.

Let's see...
You don't exchange gifts with your spouse. You love each other very much. Ergo, those who DO exchange gifts must not have the depth of feeling for their spouse that you share with yours.

You implied that people who spend a large amount at the holidays put themselves deep in debt. Because ending the holidays debt free is enough of a gift for you.

You came right out and said that you choose a Christ-centered holiday over a gift-centered one. Implying that those who choose to spend more at Christmas are not focused on the true meaning.

You cast aspersions about your niece's classmates because both parents work outside of the home. You imply that your niece is a luckier girl that her friends with all the latest gadgets don't have someone to listen to them when they come home from school. Not fanning the flames of the Mommy Wars?

Your posts come across as sanctimonious and judgmental even if that is not your intention. Hence, the admonition to pull back and stop digging.

 

[Colleen27]

On the subject of gift buying and spending, I'd be curious to know how much of your kid's gifts come from "Santa" for those that still have believers?

Santa brings one gift per child in our family, and it is generally something smaller that the kids will be able to enjoy together. Like last year, Santa brought CandyLand, Family Game Night for the Wii, and a nice edition of Risk in a wood box for the kids. The more personal/individual gifts come from DH & I.

 

[happygirl]

I suggest that you may want to stop digging before putting yourself into a deeper hole.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I think you are making the assumption that because my feelings vary from some of the posters, that I am in the wrong. I'm not wrong, just feel differently. I've never pointed a finger at anyone and said what they chose to do is "wrong". I've stated what our family does and that was the original purpose of this thread and every thread on these boards. They are about the sharing of ideas and whether you or anyone else agrees is beside the point.

I would imagine I am not alone in the thinking that some people do go unnecessarily over board on Christmas spending. It's not my own concept, it's just a common opinion shared by millions on and off the boards. If you are happy spending $700 or more per child, I'm thrilled you have the finances and the ability to do that. It's your Christmas to celebrate as you choose, just like the rest of us. If you take any implication or assumption from that, that's your business as well.

The original post was about spending more, less or about $700 and I've stated we spend less than that and why. I never said you or anyone else had to follow my family's thinking.[/QUOTE]

I read your post, I don't think you came off bad

 

[kerplop]

See we're going to Disney right before Christmas and spending too much then, so I chose a lot less than 700. No one gets anything big after that except maybe something under $20. I figure we're making up for it by spending $5,000 at Disney

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

We only give gifts to our kids and each other. We do a white elephant gift exchange with the in-laws, but the price cap is $20/present.

We don't buy stuff through the year. The kids get stuff at Christmas and for their birthday and a small Easter basket.

So, this year will look like the following:

gift exchange: $40 (present from hubby and I)

DD9 (about $300):
American Girl and accessories, about $200
pj's: $25
dvd: $5
Little House on the Prairie Season 3: $22
webkinz pig: $8
....maybe a few other things totaling $30

DS11 (about $300):
Kindle Fire: $200
Game Boy Pokemon games off of ebay: $12
Pokemon craft thing: $10
Pokemon video: $10 (I think...)
ds game: $20
...and a few other small things

DH:
Kindle Fire: $200
and maybe some socks or something lol

Me:
I don't want nor need anything...but, Santa leaves everyone something in the stocking and dh will wrap something for me (I will tell him to keep it simple)

Oh, I do want a trip to WDW, but it is a bit out of our budget due to us only being able to travel at high time (dh is a teacher) and we are on the opposite side of the coast.

 

[neatokimmo]

See we're going to Disney right before Christmas and spending too much then, so I chose a lot less than 700. No one gets anything big after that except maybe something under $20. I figure we're making up for it by spending $5,000 at Disney

A family trip is a great gift, that is my goal for Christmas 2012. I'd like to see the Christmas decorations and go to the holiday party while she is still little and really into it all.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I would LOVE to stop buying gifts for DH's brothers & SIL's. Every year we bring the subject up & every year we're shot down.

And then Christmas day comes and we come bearing gifts for all 4 brothers, 2 SIL's & 3 nephews and the rest of DH's brothers get gifts for whoever they feel like.

Last year one brother got DH something but nothing for DD or me. Another brother got DD something but nothing for DH or me. Another brother got us all something. Another brother didn't buy for anyone (yet rejected the idea when I brought it up... ). The year before that, on of DH's brothers bought gifts for my nephews but nothing for my DD.

I wouldn't care whatever we decided to do if we could all come to the decision together & stick to it.

I love gift-giving and would spend more if I could... not because I like throwing my money around but because I truly enjoy watching my family members receive gifts. More than I do receiving gifts myself. There is no "Reason for the Season" for my family, so "family" is THE holiday for us.

You say that every year you bring the subject up and you are shot down. I wouldnt give your family a chance to "shut you down"!!

When we decided that we were no longer going to participate in the gift exchange, we told the family just that. We didnt leave it open for debate or discussion. The rest of the family were still free to exchange among themselves, we just were not going to participate. I would not have let anyone tell me otherwise.

If you truly dont want to exchange gifts, state that and stick with it.
Good luck!!!

 

[happygirl]

You say that every year you bring the subject up and you are shot down. I wouldnt give your family a chance to "shut you down"!!

When we decided that we were no longer going to participate in the gift exchange, we told the family just that. We didnt leave it open for debate or discussion. The rest of the family were still free to exchange among themselves, we just were not going to participate. I would not have let anyone tell me otherwise.

If you truly dont want to exchange gifts, state that and stick with it.
Good luck!!!

So how does that work, do they open gifts in front of you? Or do they send gifts home or do they wait for you to leave

 

[fortwildernessishome]

On the subject of gift buying and spending, I'd be curious to know how much of your kid's gifts come from "Santa" for those that still have believers? When our girls were really little everything came from Santa. This is the first year my 11 year old doesn't believe but her 9 year old sister still does. About 3 years ago we told them that now that they were no longer toddlers, Santa only brings 2-3 gifts and the rest come from mom and dad. When they were old enough to understand, we wanted them to be aware that we were spending our hard earned money on their gifts. They are able to understand that everything costs money and they should take care of things because we had to spend our money to get them. So far it's worked beautifully. Santa brings 2-3 token type gifts and the rest are from us, including whatever big item they might get that year.

We also do an "elf" exchange on Thanksgiving weekend. The girls pick out one roll each of gift wrap they want Santa to use and they write their letter to Santa. We put those things out on the porch one evening and an hour or so later, the doorbell rings. Gone are the letters and gift wrap (Santa's elves took them) and left behind are new Christmas themed pajamas. They think this is the coolest thing. And they always need warmer pajamas by that time of year and will wear Christmas themed ones long past Christmas. It's just one of the ways we've tried to put some magic into the Christmas season.

The "elf" exchange is a REALLY cute idea!!!! I wish I had thought of that when my boys were little!!!

 

[fortwildernessishome]

So how does that work, do they open gifts in front of you? Or do they send gifts home or do they wait for you to leave

They just opened their gifts.......it was not a big deal at all. This year, they have all decided that they dont want to do the gift exchange either and have asked to do a Yankee Swap with a $10.00 limit. DH and I will participate in that. But really, not opening gifts was not a big deal at all!

 

[eliza61]

I never meant to imply that I was better than anyone else because our Christmas' aren't gift centered. We just choose to use our money in a different way and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas at Christmas. If you enjoy the religious aspect of the holiday as well as the gift gifting then go for it. It's just not OUR family's way of doing things.

Personally, my opinion is that children do not need all the expensive stuff that is out there these days. Of course they want it but that doesn't mean you are a good parent to provide it or a bad parent if you don't. I wasn't brought to expect extravagant presents at Christmas and my kids don't either. If they want something like an electric scooter or Blue-Ray player for example, we'll work together to help them save the money to buy that for themselves.

I have known way too many kids that get the latest and greatest toy, actually expect it, only to want the next big thing the next Christmas and get it. My niece goes to school with kids who have the latest phones, electronics, computers, cars, etc. and so many of those families try to outdo each other. She has none of this and yes, she feels left out. But, she has a mom who's waiting at home for her every day, because they've sacrificed so she can stay home. She has her parent's time all the time to talk, listen, and enjoy each other. She's not lost on how lucky she is in that way. So many of her friends who have all the latest toys are also raising themselves because mom and dad both have to work to support the house, cars and lifestyle they can't really afford. My niece is lucky in that her parents have no debt and are going to be able to send her to college and they are in taht position by not having expensive holidays year after year, at least in part.

So Christmas or not, it's all about the financial choices each family wants to make. If you choose to spend a million dollars on gifts for your kids, that's your choice. You're kids are very lucky to have so many new and wonderful things. If you want to give your child a gold nugget and then celebrate the birth of Jesus, again, go for it. I personally find the extravagance and overspending not in keeping with the celebration of the birth of Jesus but that's me and maybe it's not you.

Unfortunately your post does sound a bit sanctimonious but thank you for apologizing. I really appreciate it. I know it's hard to explain on the internet.

For example the part that I underlined. why do you assume that other children because they have the latest gadgets don't have parents to talk to them or are raising themselves. Both dh and I work and I guarantee you, no one but us raised them.

Your neice is lucky but guess what there are tons of people who send their kids to Harvard without loans and managed to have extravagent christmases.

Its not an either/or proposition in my house. we can give gifts AND celebrate the birth of Jesus.

It's not overspending if you can afford it. If someone can afford to buy their spouse a lexus (I love those commercials), that's just a gift, really no different then the spouse who buys a pair of gloves.

It's a bit ironic that you say that you don't want to equate christmas with monetary gifts yet you equate monetary spending with supposedly "good parenting".

My kids have the latest gadgets and will go to college without loans. they have parents who raised them and work . One has no bearing on the other.

 

[itutorfortravel]

Holy crap, you bought your husband a $90,000 car?!?!?!?!? WTH are you doing on the budget board?

My thoughts exactly! Wow!

 

[C.Ann]

Less than $700 - probably considerably less.. I set a budget for myself and then make it work..

 

[furb & dez]

You've got a point! They'll realize what the REAL story is when they get older.

Exactly... If "Santa" is a Comforting Lie, what other Comforting Lies have you been telling them all those.years?

 

[Pigeon]

You say that every year you bring the subject up and you are shot down. I wouldnt give your family a chance to "shut you down"!!

When we decided that we were no longer going to participate in the gift exchange, we told the family just that. We didnt leave it open for debate or discussion. The rest of the family were still free to exchange among themselves, we just were not going to participate. I would not have let anyone tell me otherwise.

If you truly dont want to exchange gifts, state that and stick with it.
Good luck!!!

Yup, we did the same thing. For a few years, I'd tried to suggest that we stop, but my SIL and BIL, who are the weathiest in the family (and who, coincidentally, give the cheapest, most thoughtless gifts) made a big stink about it. I finally just put my foot down and said we were out, period.

 

[LuLuO]

I voted that we'll be spending a lot less than $700. We don't have a ton of people to buy for. DH and I don't exchange and we don't exchange with our siblings.

I already bought for my kids and my nephew. I'm not sure of the total but I know it was under $100 all together.

I haven't bought for my niece because she isn't born yet and I'm not sure what they'll want or need at that time but I figure I'll spend about $30 on her at most.

Our parents and grandparents are all getting a new framed family photo and a hand print craft from the kids. I estimate this will cost no more than a total of $75.

Teachers will be a total of $100.

If my math is correct we are at $305 and I can probably add another $20 onto that for stocking stuffers.

 

[gracie1]

I voted that we'll be spending a lot less than $700. We don't have a ton of people to buy for. DH and I don't exchange and we don't exchange with our siblings.

I already bought for my kids and my nephew. I'm not sure of the total but I know it was under $100 all together.

I haven't bought for my niece because she isn't born yet and I'm not sure what they'll want or need at that time but I figure I'll spend about $30 on her at most.

Our parents and grandparents are all getting a new framed family photo and a hand print craft from the kids. I estimate this will cost no more than a total of $75.

Teachers will be a total of $100.

If my math is correct we are at $305 and I can probably add another $20 onto that for stocking stuffers.

Wow, I need you to do my shopping!!! I exchange with a coworker, and I buy for my nephew, mom and dad and I get some candles for the lady that does my eyebrow waxing and will be over $700. But, I am getting my dad a 32" tv for his room, so that is $250. I will say, even though I am spending over $700, so far $300 of it has been using rewards cards, so not my cash! And I am waiting on my amazon cards from sunshine rewards and will be using $50 on there, so I am actually doing good!

 

[Pigeon]

Wow, I need you to do my shopping!!! I exchange with a coworker, and I buy for my nephew, mom and dad and I get some candles for the lady that does my eyebrow waxing and will be over $700. But, I am getting my dad a 32" tv for his room, so that is $250. I will say, even though I am spending over $700, so far $300 of it has been using rewards cards, so not my cash! And I am waiting on my amazon cards from sunshine rewards and will be using $50 on there, so I am actually doing good!

Not picking on you gracie. This just made me laugh.

Every year on the this board there are endless threads before Christmas about the need to get the lady who waxes your eyebrows, the guy who pours your coffee at Dunkin Donuts, the girl who dog sits twice a year, the dental hygienist, the chiropracter's office staff, the pilates instructor, 87 teachers, aides, coaches and administrators Christmas gifts.

The poster wants to spend no more than $3.71 per gift, but doesn't want the gifts to look cheap.

It would never in a million years occur to me that any of these people should get a gift.

 

[jacksmom]

I voted over $700. mainly because we plan on spending $500. per child, but often spend more! Good thing there are only two of them! I think we will probably end up spending $700. on ds (14), he likes electronics and video games! And, around $500. on dd (5)! We love watching our kids open gifts! We love seeing tons of gifts under the tree! We go all out for birthdays and Christmas, but do not really spoil them other wise! Also, we do not spend a lot on each other!

 

[furb & dez]

Every year on the this board there are endless threads before Christmas about the need to get the lady who waxes your eyebrows, the guy who pours your coffee at Dunkin Donuts, the girl who dog sits twice a year, the dental hygienist, the chiropracter's office staff, the pilates instructor, 87 teachers, aides, coaches and administrators Christmas gifts.

The poster wants to spend no more than $3.71 per gift, but doesn't want the gifts to look cheap.

It would never in a million years occur to me that any of these people should get a gift.

*chuckle* Well how else can they sactimoniously broadcast how generous they are if they don't gift everyone?