Christmas question

[wvjules]

Was talking to my mom about Christmas and the limit BF and I set for each other. She asked if he was spending the same amount on DD. I said "no, he's only getting her one thing as far as I know." She said that since he practically lives with us that one gift isn't enough. Its like a token gift you get for distant family. Personally, I think one is fine.

1.) Techincally he doesn't live with us.
2.) He's my BF, not her step-dad (yet lol).
3.) We've only been together 4 months
4.) He only gets one thing for each of his parents, his sister, her husband and 1 each for his niece and nephew.
5.) We're having "our" Christmas when she goes to visit her dad so its not like she will be there and feel slighted by only getting one thing from him while I get several.
6.) She's only getting him one gift.

What are your thoughts? Is one gift reasonable?

I know Christmas is about more than the gifts. I'm asking about the gift portion.

 

[MELSMICE]

One seems just fine to me. What is the reasoning behind thinking she should receive more than that. Why isn't one gift enough?

 

[Darcy03231]

One gift is definitely reasonable.

 

[wvjules]

She says he's practically family now so she should get what she would get if he were family, I guess that's her reasoning.

I'm totally with you guys. I think one is reasonable and don't think he needs to get her more than that.

 

[okeydokey]

You've been together 4 months and your Mom says he's practically family? I think one gift is plenty even for official family members.

 

[CajunDixie]

I think I'd kindly tell mom to MYOB. After only 4 months I wouldn't put any expectations on a person.

 

[Michelle67]

I think one gift is fine too, and I don't believe in giving anybody any kind of pressure about how many or even IF they are going to give a gift. I think you're right all the way around.

 

[c4a]

I think I'd kindly tell mom to MYOB. After only 4 months I wouldn't put any expectations on a person.

I think it is sweet of him to get her something. A lot of people at 4 months would get you something but maybe, not her. Sounds like he has a great heart & gets "it" that you are a package deal.

Has she picked out a gift for him? Or are the two of you going to go in together and get him something?

 

[wvjules]

She already knows what she wants to get him. I have to take her shopping to get it.

Yes it is only 4 months but we seem to be on the fast-track. lol It seems like we've been together much longer and our relationship has progressed faster than most 4 month old relationships do. He has a drawer and closet space and in the past 2 months he's probably only been to his home less than a week total. He calls my home "home". We both planning on spending the rest of our lives together. Hopefully that will be "official" soon.

Oops, it has been 5 months now. Forgot we were in December already. lol

Oh, his parents got me and DD something. I'm clueless on what to get them.

I haven't had a serious BF on Christmas in many, many years so this is kinda new to me.

 

[shirleyb]

You've been together 4 months and your Mom says he's practically family? I think one gift is plenty even for official family members.

Agree.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I don't get it. We only buy one gift for everyone aside from dh and I and our own daughter.
This guy has only been in your life 4 months. I would think 1 gift would be plenty.

 

[Avalon_toon]

One is just fine, especially if that's his pattern for everyone else he cares about in his life (parents, sister, etc.)

Congrats on having found "the one"!

 

[KyraS]

It seems perfectly fine to me. You said that you two are having your special Christmas while she is gone so I don't see a problem at all. You will get her more as her mom and until he is officially her step-dad it's fine!

 

[wall*e2008]

One gift is fine, depending on the gift.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Depending on what the one gift is, I think one is plenty. If and when you two are living together and/or married, I would think that your daughter would be getting gifts from the two of you (combined), so even then I wouldn't expect him to be responsible for a certain number of gifts. Congrats on finding a keeper!

 

[bumbershoot]

I was going to agree with the "4 months and he's considered family???" posters, but then I remembered that hubby and I were engaged INSIDE of 4 months.

That said, our families certainly didn't agree with that, and since we did have some serious issues and our wedding was postponed by almost a year to work on problems, it's possible they were right, that we shouldn't have gotten engaged so early. Then again, if we weren't engaged we probably wouldn't have worked as hard to get through the problems.

Anyway, since he's on the fasttrack, he is a bit more like family, but that doesn't mean you have to get scads of presents. My own hubby seems to be getting just ONE gift from me and DS (not one each, ONE), and he's certainly family. I'm getting a few smaller things, but I'm buying them all, b/c he is just clueless about gifts and I'm not one to pretend to like something if I don't, LOL.

I've had two stepdads in my life, and as far as I can remember, even when the first stepdad was just a boyfriend to my mom, all gifts were given from BOTH of them. There was no separation, even back then. So maybe that is the way to do it????

 

[C.Ann]

I think one gift is fine.. As you stated, he's not her step-dad - nor does he live with you - so I don't see why your mom expects him to do anything more than that..

I take it your mom is more about "gifts" than the true meaning of Christmas, right?

 

[singingpixie]

It sounds to me almost like your mom is trying to further fast-track the relationship. Honestly, it's none of her business how many gifts anyone gives to anyone else. And for what it's worth, I agree that one gift is perfectly fine.

 

[Chicago526]

As long as it isn't something totally lame like slipper socks, I think one is good. I'm not saying it has to be big $$$ but some things should not ever be considered "good gifts", if you know what I mean!

 

[disykat]

One is fine! When you are married, she'll probably get "none" from him, but rather the gifts that always came from mom will come from both of you. In my view, she's getting an extra gift this year! I doubt you're getting her less than usual because he's getting her a gift.