Child's B-day party: how to state on invitation adults pay extra?

[dismom301930]

You pay for everyone. Very tacky to make anyone pay. Same for food and any siblings that will be coming.

I agree that you should pay for a parent who wants to stay with their child at this age. But I do not think you should have to pay for siblings. I would never think of bringing any of my other children to a party that they were not invited to. If I did have to bring my other children for some reason, I would certainly expect to pay for them myself.

 

[Hannathy]

Why would she pay for everyone under the sun. You pay for who you invite! The other siblings weren't invited and have no business being there.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

You pay for everyone. Very tacky to make anyone pay. Same for food and any siblings that will be coming. I have never been to a childrens party where the adults had to pay.

Really?? So you feel if Johnny is invited and his mom brings him to the party........along with his 3 brothers and sisters OP should have to pay for all the siblings too??

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Really?? So you feel if Johnny is invited and his mom brings him to the party........along with his 3 brothers and sisters OP should have to pay for all the siblings too??

i was wondering the same thing! i have 2 children and would never think to do that! that's why i wonder, if this is a popular thing to do somewhere?

 

[lillygator]

Why would she pay for everyone under the sun. You pay for who you invite! The other siblings weren't invited and have no business being there.

well I think that is part of the problem. You are inviting the child...and at this age it is sometimes uncertain whether or not a parent will stay.

For us, my DH works on Saturday's, which is the normal party day here so if my 2 year old and I can't attend, or my mom can't drive an hour over to babysit (other DD is 4 - not comfortable leaving her at this age) then we don't go. It usually isn't a problem almost all the other children in DD's class have a younger sibling as well, so they keep each other entertained.

 

[dsnymomof4]

I agree with the majority here - offer to pay for child and 1 adult. I would not feel comfortable leaving my 5yo at a birthday party alone. I also would not expect to have to pay to stay with her. I frequently brought along a younger sibling to parties, but never expected her to be part of the party or for anyone to pay for her. Usually, we would just watch from the sidelines. I think it would be very nice of you to put on the invitation that siblings/other parents are welcome, even if they have to pay their own way. I don't think people would be offended at that at all.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

i was wondering the same thing! i have 2 children and woud never think to do that! that's why i wonder, if this is a popular thing to do somewhere?

I have brought my DS3 to a party DS6 was invited to. HOWEVER, I always asked the parents of the child who was having the party if it was alright and I ALWAYS paid for DS3 and myself. I wouldn't dream of asking or assuming someone else would pay for a child that wasn't even invited. We have done this at a museum party and an indoor amusement park party. That way I don't leave DS6 alone, as he's not ready for a drop off party yet.

 

[torinsmom]

I would just state that one adult is welcome to stay with the child if they would like,but also state that there will be plenty of adult supervision if they have an errand they need to run. I don't have much advice about siblings and how to broach the charge for them. I would NOT expect anyone to pay for siblings that were not invited.

Marsha

 

[leight]

My 6 yr old got invited to a Movie party and the invitation was very graciously worded that Adult supervision would be provided for your convenience if you would like to drop off the invited child (with encouragement to stop by and meet the parents before the event day itself) or special arrangements have been made for discount tickets for adults/children to join in if preferred. An RSVP was req both for the child and additional head count.

My 9 yr old wanted to see said movie so we went too and my 6yr old felt so grown up that Mom wasn't part of the party group

It's harder these days with having to invite all students rather than those who are special friends. You have no clue how many to expect.

 

[Mo-Yo]

I think it's a good idea to indicate you will pay for the child and 1 parent on a separate piece of paper. I think with 5 year olds you need to invite parents to stay free of charge.

Our local bowling alley is a very popular and family-friendly place to have a kid's party. I would never drop my 6 year old off and leave. I don't consider myself to be overly protective, but I know the hosting family will be very busy at the party, supervising 15+ kids. I like to be there to make sure my dd stays with the group, has supervision in the bathroom, etc.

Sometimes - if dh is working or busy - I bring my two older kids and set them up at another alley and bowl with them. That way I can keep an eye on things. I wouldn't expect the host to pay for them...but I wouldn't pay for a babysitter to send dd to a party.

So, yes, people really do bring siblings to parties. If you have more than one child, it might be the only way your children get to enjoy their friend's parties.

Parties in houses are different - they are self-contained. There I usually hang out for a brief period of time to make sure everything is ok (if I don't know the family). Then I enjoy the time somewhere else with my other kiddos.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

We had a pool party for DD7 when she was 6 at our neighborhood pool. We had to pay for each child and each adult ($3 each). I wrote the invitations to indicate drop-off and pick-up times so the parents would know it was a drop off party, but I paid for any adult who wanted to stay with their child (since it was a pool party, some did). When parents called to RSVP and invariably asked if it was a drop-off party, I said it was but they could stay if they wanted to. I never mentioned the cost to them, but I also didn't invite their whole family.

With a place like a children's museum that is probably going to be open during the party, you could either tell the parents when they RSVP or put a note in that sibling admission would be $ if they wanted to stay and play with their child separate from the party. Our children's museum has a limit of adults and kids in the party room and you can't go over that number - we would not be able to accommodate siblings or extra adults if we had a party there. You can also state that due to the size of the party room, you will only have space for one adult and the invited child, but other family members might want to enjoy the museum during the party for the price of admission.

I agree you shouldn't have to pay for everyone, but I would think some parents might stay for a 5 year old party, especially if the museum is a fair distance from where they live.

 

[gonemousin']

i think it's tacky that people would bring siblings of the child that was invited. Do people really do this??

Yes they do it...at my DD's birthday party last year, I had a Mom show up with THREE siblings in tow (the DD was invited, the three brothers were an extra "bonus"). Fortunately, the children's museum that we held our party at didn't make an issue of it and didn't charge me, but they certainly had every right to.

It's a tough situation...5 is too young in my opinion to expect parents to drop and leave. We had one young girl dropped off by her Mom and she cried throughout much of the party. She was my DD's classmate, so I didn't know her well enough to be able to calm her down (she's shy). The end result is that my DH and I (and some other parents) spent a LARGE amount of time trying to comfort this sweet little girl, when I should have been taking care of my DD's party. After that challenging party, I'd recommend making parents VERY welcome to stay!! However, it can be tough to find places that don't charge for chaperones.

If I were in your shoes, I think I'd make a note on the invitation that the party includes museum admission for the invited child and say nothing else. Some people will catch on and just drop off, or be willing to pay their entrance fee, and for those that don't catch onto the invitation hint, just assume you'll end up paying for them. Hopefully in the end it will work out to be close to what you would have budgeted if you were paying for one parent/child. Personally, I don't think it would be polite to specify, but that's just my opinion. Good luck with your decision!!

 

[dizkids]

I just had my 5 year old DS birthday party at a local ice cream parlour. MOSTLY all parents stayed and I expected them to. I would never leave my 5year old at birthday party. The party package deal offered to me included extras like parent sundaes for only $2. I allowed for this and extra pizza in my budget when figuring how many kids to invite.

There are parents that bring other children to parties. Whether they participate or not perhaps making up an extra goody bag or two wont hurt and will keep everyone happy.

Also, keep in mind children at that age might only be comfortable going to a party ONLY if their parent stays. So i agree with others and assume to pay for 1 invited child and 1 parent.

I would not be offended to read an invitation that says " each child invited may bring 1 parent. Discounted admissions provided for additional parents/siblings at $3/$4.50. " I dont think it is tacky to put the price. Its only $3...where can i go for that price. I would consider that a small nominal fee. Good luck.

 

[KirstenB]

Our 8 yr old just went to a roller skating party. The invitation stated that parents or siblings would be able to rent skates/share pizza, etc for $9.95 per person. This didn't bother me, I'm glad the parent stated it up front, so people could decide. Our daughter had never been roller skating, so I figured she might need my help getting started (I didn't rent skates, or I would have been NO help, not being a roller skater myself).

Anyway, when dd has had a party at Chuck E. Cheese in the past, I've tried to order extra food/soda to feed the adults who stayed. No big whoops. I just include it in the budget when I figure out how many kids we're inviting. But at the same time, I don't count on paying $9.95 for younger siblings to attend. One time I had a mom ask if her younger dd could attend along with her (invited) brother, because her husband was out of town, so no one to watch the little girl. I told her no problem. At the same time, she gave dd a much nicer present than I'm sure she would have normally. It all works out.

I like your idea of paying for child/one parent. This is a sensible way to handle your party.

 

[gottaluvdis]

It's harder these days with having to invite all students rather than those who are special friends. You have no clue how many to expect.[/QUOTE]

I don't know where it's written that the entire class has to be invited to a party. We've never done this with DD10. She has always invited just those people with whom she is friends. Some of them usually happen to be in her current class, but she also invites others from other classes or sometimes even other towns. We have never felt "obligated" to invite a classroom full of kids and have never done this. We are very careful about invitations, however, and I always mail them to the individual homes rather than have her pass them out at school. She is also good about not bragging or talking a lot about an upcoming party around those who were not invited.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Honestly 5 is way too young for a drop off party (especially at a public venue) and I think it is rude to make the parents pay. I just had this conversation with my Mom. We went to a party last year that all my kids were invited to. We are pretty good friends with the host. Anyway- it was at an amusement park. Not all of my children were old enough to ride the kids rides alone. The host said that she would be providing bracelets for one adult per family so they could ride with the younger children. P.S. no bracelets and the party cost us an additional $30-40. I have to tell you that I was very annoyed. Don't invite kids that can't participate and then not make provisions for them. JMHO. I also never expect parents to pay to come to our parties. We provide food, admission etc. No I would never make anyone pay for any siblings that I sometimes have to bring with me (although that rarely happens). I do however always tell Moms and Dads that if they don't have a babysitter they are more than welcome to bring their other children. I personally don't see it as a big deal unless someone just expects you to do for them. Then I think it's rude. I would just pay for the parents and call it a day. I think at that age it is expected that a parent will be coming. JMHO.

 

[dopeyfanatic]

I'm another one who says to state the admission will include the child and on parent if they wish to stay. Then state that other parents and siblings are welcome to join for a discounted rate of x amount. That way people know that you're not opposed to them coming, you just aren't paying for the whole family to have a day out. A birthday party isn't about the siblings, it's the about the kid invited, and people shouldn't have to pay for the siblings. At that young age though you will most likely have a parent staying and you should pay for that. We had a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese and I got some extra pizza and sodas for all the adults. This was a little bit easier though because I just got two large pizzas and however many sodas, so that covered any siblings that might have been there. I would never take my other two children along to a party without asking first, and knowing that I would be paying for them. However some people don't think that way so even if you might think it's tacky you do need to say something on the invite. Make sure you include the price because they'll need that information to decide if they're going or not. Good luck!

 

[princessjv]

My 6 yr old got invited to a Movie party and the invitation was very graciously worded that Adult supervision would be provided for your convenience if you would like to drop off the invited child (with encouragement to stop by and meet the parents before the event day itself) or special arrangements have been made for discount tickets for adults/children to join in if preferred. An RSVP was req both for the child and additional head count.

That was very tastefully and clearly stated!

It's harder these days with having to invite all students rather than those who are special friends. You have no clue how many to expect.

Alhough schools really can't demand you invite an entire class or all of the boys/girls. It really is a nice gesture, if you can (space, location and $ do factor largely). To ease this pressure, parents can make sure to mail the party invitations, rather than hand them out during class.

 

[princessjv]

We experienced a similar situtaion last fall, for our ds's 5th b-day. Prior to his party we attended another childs party at the same location. At this party, most of the parents brought their other children. Although graciuos, this created a huge issue for parents of the birthday child. The ended up paying about $250, yes...$250 more for their sons b-day party. This was due to the additional $10 per child fee and additional pizza's/soda's.

When it was time for my ds's invites to go out. I made a special little insert with the directions to the party & RSVP info, including wording something like the following:

• For your convenience, you are welcome to either drop your child off or stay.
• Please let us know if your child will need transportaion, we may be able to assist.
• No sibblings please

After seeing what happened at my ds's friends party, I will never, ever bring an another child to a party, unless they are invited.

Long story, short it is up to you if you feel comfortable having sibblings, but you shoud not be required to pay for them. You should however expect to pay for any parents that may stay. (it is a bummer that they make you pay for the parents).

 

[kathi29]

When DD was at the "stay or go" stage, I based my decision on how well I knew the parents, where the party was, and her comfort level. No way would I have left her alone at a party in a public place. Actually, I still do that and she is 8 years old.

Pretty much every party she has been to (even now in 2nd grade) there is food and drink provided for the adults as well as the kids. I think that is just standard procedure around here and we are all fortunate that nobody abuses it.

As far as DD's parties, we generally invite siblings if the party is appropriate to their age (no 2 year olds at the roller skating party, but they are welcome at the Chuck E Cheese party). I know it's part of life to not be invited to every party, and to be able to go to a party without taking your baby sister along, but I figure there is time for that as DD and her friends get older. Right now none of them seem to mind (except for fighting over whose turn it is to "take care" of the little ones).