Children's book about coping with death ???

[Maggimus]

I am looking for a children's book that will help them cope with the death of a loved one... and/or better help explain death.

My niece and nephew (Ages 8 and 4) are about to experience the death of their young grandmother (melanoma cancer). The dr's have given her the "there's nothing left we can do" speech and they feel her time may be called at any moment.

My niece and nephew don't know about her death-- they only know she is sick and will get much worse (my BIL and sister don't want the kids to act differently toward the grandmother-- and death is such a hard thing to understand at that age).

I am looking for a book to give to the kids, once the time comes, that may better help explain things... and help them.

Anyone ever dealt with this? Any advice? Any suggestions on a children's book?

 

[Hillbeans]

I know Maria Schriver wrote a book titled "What's Heaven". My SIL used it for my niece (4) when my mom died. I don't remember the name but it was very fitting for the situation.

 

[mickeyboat]

Someone gave me a book when MIL died, and I can't for the life of me remember the title.

If you don't get any good suggestions, perhaps the hospital or cancer center library would have some suggestions. When my grandmother died, I remember seeing a book about death for children at the funeral home.

 

[swanmom]

Here's a link to a wonderful book called "Waiting for the Whales" about a boy who remembers his grandpa when the whales return each year to the sea by his home. It's a sweet story of remembrance without being preachy or weepy. (And definitely written for the age range you mentioned.)
Hope this helps at a difficult time.

http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-Whales-Sheryl-McFarlane/dp/0920501966

P.S. Don't let the amazon 'preview' put you off - it starts out talking about a 'lonely old man' but that doesn't let you see how the story evolves.

 

[mjantz]

I don't have book suggestions but my grandfather died last fall & my youngest was about the age of the oldest. One thing I'd suggest is to be honest & give them time to process & adjust. When I told my kids that their g-grandfather was dying my youngest (8) wanted to sit in my lap & cuddle & cry. My oldest (11) went into his room & laid on his bed & cried alone. When it came time for the viewing the kids at first said they didn't want to go in the viewing room & we respected that. When they asked questions after I had been in there, I answered them in detail (how he looked, what he was wearing, etc). They both, at separate times, decided to go into the viewing room. If either had decided not to we would have respected that. Please urge them to not use words like 'she's asleep' if they choose to go into the viewing room. We said 'He looks like he's asleep but he's not. His soul is in heaven & his body is left'.
Also, given our religious beliefs we talked about all the people he'd see in heaven & how happy he'd be to see his WWII buddies, my grandmother & other family & friends.

Hugs to all of you. Its a part of life but that doesn't make it easy.

 

[Magic Mom]

When my good friends husband was killed in Iraq, we got her daughter the book Tear Soup. It was wonderful.
Here's a quote from Grief Watch about the book.

Tear Soup recognizes and reinforces the fact that every member of the family from the youngest to the oldest will grieve in their own way. Taking their own time and in doing so, find those things which help them best. Essentially, we each make our own batch of Tear Soup when we grieve the loss of someone we love or for any major change in our lives. We make Tear Soup when we move far away from the ones we love, or lose our job.

Tear Soup is Universal. No one is left out. Because we never learn exactly who or what Grandy lost and why she is making Tear Soup, the story remains open to countless situations of bereavement and family members. By emphasizing the individual process of bereavement by making soup, Grandy's brings a warm and comfortable feeling to an otherwise difficult subject matter for many individuals.

 

[rowbear]

I don't know of any books but having faced my first death at 6 of someone I was REALLY close with it pretty much wrecked my world for a time. I think my parents were smart in not letting me attend the visitation or the funeral. That probably would have made a scary experience even worse.

From what I remember it took me awhile to grasp it all in a way I could understand. A book might help, I dunno. I am sure even as children we all handle things differently but don't be too surprise if they start grieving later on.

 

[disneyfam]

As I was looking for a link to the book "the butterfly bush" I found this. http://www.cgcmaine.org/glibrary7to12.html it is a very comprehensive list of books.

The hospital grief counselor gave that book to my kids when my dad was on his death bed.

Cynde

 

[sb4k]

the fall of freddie the leaf by leo buscaglia