children without adult supervision - what age

[catrinuk]

okay folks put your serious heads on for a few minutes and help me out with your thoughts on the following please.

We are going to SSR for nearly a month over xmas, me DH, and DD (10) and DD (9). At home we allow our children some freedom to roam as they are geting older, we have set boundries so they know how far they can go, walk to school, down into the village and to their friends houses as long as we know where they are. They are never left home alone. My question is this - at what age do you let your children go out on their own at disney? I am not talking going to parks etc on own, but say to the resort pool for a short while or to get themselves a drink etc. I was thinking of geting some pre pay phones over there to stay in touch. your thoughts would be appreciated, good idea or not? what do you do?

 

[natalielongstaff]

tough question...at the end of the day its down to the individual child and how responsible they are
my personal opinion is that 10 seems a little young but thats without knowing your children

 

[pokemon_master]

All I have to say is that I am 17 and have always had someone near me when we go to Disney. It's just so convient for my mother if we are all together and don't wonder off. Then again, when I was younger I did used to wonder off and get lost a lot, so she does have a right to keep me closer to her.

It's up to you when you let them go by themselves, but I am still 17 and I always have someone with me when I go out. Then again, I do have Aspergur Syndrome and I don't think I could cope by myself if I did do it alone (that, and I am unbarely shy and hate new situations ) and at my age it's up to me if I wanted to go alone. I just feel a LOT more comfortable if someone's with me.

All I can really say is keep safe whatever you do.

 

[wideeyes]

I think 10 is a bit young myself, I myself would not considor it untill 13/14 however again it does depend on the child.

 

[motheroftink]

I think my two were around the 11-12 age when I first let them go off for a little while on their own, but not too far, and not for too long.

It is different for each parent and child though, but trust your instincts and don't be too influenced by what other parents let their kids do.

If you think that they are responsible enough then just set out the guidelines/rules beforehand. I think the phones are a good idea, and personally I would have a little conversation along the lines of " what would you do if this happened....." and see what their answer is, which would give you a good indication of how they would cope if they were presented with a difficult/unknown situation, and you can give them advice.

They need to have a little independence to gain confidence I think.

I always think back to when I was that age, and how much independence I had, but sadly it is a different world we are living in today.

Hope this helps, and hope you have a great holiday.

 

[psharrock]

As said in previous posts this is a very tough question.

From seeing the replies so far, it looks as though I give ours (DD8 & DD6) far too much freedom, as when staying at a BCV we let them go to the shop on their own (as long as they stay together).

We let them queue on the childrens rides on their own, with us reasonbly close by.

It will be many years before we let them near the pool by themselves, but my DW and I have been thinking about giving them a little bit more freedom around the park we are in when DD is 10.

Paul

 

[catherine]

Our oldest DD is very mature and responsible for her age, she is 12. She has just started asking if, on our trip next year when she'll be 13, she can start going down to the pool by herself. DH and I have talked about this and at this point are leaning toward letting her do this. However DH is more reluctant than I am. We'll probably end up letting her go to the pool by herself and then for the first couple of times DH or I will wander down there just to keep an eye on things.

 

[alisonbestford]

It definitely depends on the individual child
Both my DD's have acted responsibly from an early age whereas DS (now 19) is still a liability on his own......

Like Paul, having read the previous posts, I feel we maybe allow DD (8 next month) more freedom / responsibility than most but much of that is a direct result of DH being ill and her choosing to take on extra responsibilities to 'help out' (nipping down to the corner shop etc)

As motheroftink suggests I do lay down guidelines and rules on how far she is allowed to go and what I expect of her. We also run through various 'what if' scenarios

Personally I'd certainly allow them to go and fetch drinks on their own and my decision regarding the pool would depend, largely, on how well they can swim.
Saying that i'd probably follow them up with a book just for peace of mind

When we were in Italy, in the Summer, we allowed DD to, occasionally, stay in the reception area of the hotel whilst she and her 10 year old friend played on their DS
Pre paid phones sound a good idea to me.
Eve has one that she takes along to friends houses when they are playing. She's never used it but it's still there

At the end of the day they're your children, you know what you can, and can't, expect from them and I'm certain you will do the right thing for your family
As you say, you're not talking about sending them out to ride the park buses on their own just allowing them a little independance with you close by

 

[higgy66]

This is a tough one. Mine are still toddlers so not had this yet but when i think of my nephews and neices who are the same ages as yours I wouldn't let them go off on their own.

My sister and I had a very narrow escape when we were younger so my parents were over the top protective. However, they started easing up around the 14 mark so I think i'll probably follow suit.

Sorry - not much use really?? Good luck!

 

[carolfoy]

My son would be going down to the pool on his own at the age of 6 or 7, but bear in mind we'd be staying in villas with either their own pool or a shared pool with a couple of other villas. At Disney he'd still go down on his own at that age but usually we'd only be a few minutes behind him. Since he was about 9 though we've given him more freedom, he'd ride on his own at disney (if we didn't like the ride we'd wait outside) and would go into shops on his own if we were waiting for a parade or something. I wouldn't go as far as letting him go from hotel to park on his own though ( in fact I'm the one up and raring to go at the crack of dawn )

 

[mandymouse]

My DD's starting going to the resort arcade or food court by themselves about a year ago (they were 14 & 12 then)

I hope that helps

 

[WDWfan uk]

When my oldest was about that age and younger, and we were in a Disney resort, he and my younger son went out on their own to do things like get a refill drink or go to the arcade.
They were very sensible, knew to stay together and what to do if anyone was paying them unwanted attention.

Definitely agree that it not so much an age thing but it depends on the individual children, and once you have been at the resort for a few days, how comfortable you are with the 'general feel'.

 

[Goofyish]

Last trip my DD were 12 and 16 and we were happy with them wandering about the hotel (Dolphin) and DTD shops together on their own, but I don't think I would have been happy letting them wonder in a park on their own - and I don't think they would have wanted to as they are both fairly shy.

I think next trip, if they did want to go off on their own in a park (if we were also in the same park) we would let them. Although I would insist on a walkie-talkies or mobile phones so we could keep in touch.

 

[catrinuk]

thanks for your replies everyone, both of my girls are sensible and i do want them to enjoy thmselves whilst obviously keeping them safe. it i so dificult in todays society. They are both really strong swimmers they have had lesons since the age of four and go to swim club but i would not leave them on there own for too long, was thinking on lines of you go and i will follow. I am looking forward to our time together just as a family but also we all need a bit of space sometime and a litle bit of time apart and independence for them will hopefully keep us all happy. It amazing what different parents do, there is no right or wrong, i guess i just dont want to be seen as a bad parent, the thing with parenthood is it is a constant learning curve it gets easier with time but provides new challenges every day. I just feel really lucky to have two such lovely girls, they are inseparable and i know they always stick together, look out for each other. Keep your thoughts coming always good to have others input, opinions & experience.

 

[Lizzybear]

All I have to say is that I am 17 and have always had someone near me when we go to Disney. It's just so convient for my mother if we are all together and don't wonder off. Then again, when I was younger I did used to wonder off and get lost a lot, so she does have a right to keep me closer to her.

It's up to you when you let them go by themselves, but I am still 17 and I always have someone with me when I go out. Then again, I do have Aspergur Syndrome and I don't think I could cope by myself if I did do it alone (that, and I am unbarely shy and hate new situations ) and at my age it's up to me if I wanted to go alone. I just feel a LOT more comfortable if someone's with me.

All I can really say is keep safe whatever you do.

Yeah my sister is 17 and seems quite a bit like you. I definitely don't think she'd do well on her own in Florida, more likely she'd freak out and have a panic attack =/ I'm inclined to be nervous and quiet myself and TBH the only time I split from my mum in Florida was to go on big rides with my sister while she looked after the bags

 

[mushumadness]

my nephew was 15 this year when he went with us, and he stayed with us

I just dont trust other people, I am also worried about something bad happening. A 15 year old isnt strong enough to stop a grown man, if that man wanted to take him away, so I make him stay lol

And there is bad people everywhere

 

[alisonbestford]

I had very little independence when I was young.
Even at 18 I was expected to be home and in bed by 10 pm!

My parents didn't see me for dust once I turned 18 as I left home and very rarely return
Almost 30 years later they are still major worriers, anticipating danger at every turn
How they coped when DD (now 22) went travelling for over two years is almost beyond me

Yes, there are plenty of 'bad people' around but, in my experience, the good (thankfully) far outweigh them
Okay, so nothing particularly 'bad' happened to me but neither did it to any of my friends who were allowed that extra little bit of leeway

Times change but I am a firm believer in allowing children that little bit of controlled independence and, in turn, giving them a chance to develop their confidence

 

[CustardTart]

We still do most things together - my youngest DS is 13. This summer we stayed at the Polynesian and a couple of times we left him in the room with his cousin aged 12 watching a DVD while we went for a cocktail. We were also happy to let them go to the arcade and Captain Cook's. They did go to the pool alone but one of us was always about 5 minutes behind... HTH.

 

[magicgirl]

It might be wort checking on what the law in Florida is as the Americans seem to have very tought laws on child supervision.

 

[alisonbestford]

It might be wort checking on what the law in Florida is as the Americans seem to have very tought laws on child supervision.

Yes
For example our swimming pools require adult supervision for children under 8