Children Sleep overs, opposite sex?

[Spinning]

My DD has a good friend they are both 6 turning 7 They have been in preschool together and kindergarten. Now they are in first grade. He is in a different class. We still get together and they play even better now that they are in seperate class rooms.
Here is my problem. His mom said her son wants to have a sleep over and when she asked who, he said my DD. Now I know it is all inocent but I am not comfortable with the idea. first because we didn't plan to allow sleep overs till 2nd possibly 3rd grade and also because he is a boy....just for the future " I use to be allowed to sleep over why can't I now?" DH feels even stronger about it than me. His mom seemed ok with this especially since I told her DD hasn't slept at anyone's house yet and won't be this year.
So what do all of you think is it ok? and if it is when do you stop it or do you just allow them to continue?

 

[newmousecateer]

Nope. Sorry. Definately would not fly with me or DH.

I would just honestly tell her you do not believe in "boy - girl" sleepovers, that you and DH do not feel comfortable with that.

 

[EROS]

NO..............sleepovers with boys shouldn't start before.............age 18 ..........

 

[Dan Murphy]

Spinning, you said you are not comfortable wit hit and your husband even less so. Sounds like you have your answer. And I agree.

 

[Spinning]

Dan, I know!
But I was just wondering what other parents thought. His mom felt it was fine and said her older son best friend was a girl at at this age too and they had sleep overs!
So I was just wondering what other parents thought!

 

[EROS]

Hey, just tell her that Britney hasn't YET had a sleepover with a boy ...........

 

[newmousecateer]

Just tell them that it is fine the other parents thought it was OK, but unfortunately you and DH feel differently.

I would not worry about what they think, you just do what is best for DD, (and I think you and DH think the best is not to let her do this).

 

[Bob O]

I wouldnt let my daughter go to any sleepovers at a boys house or if it is a co-ed deal and it would never happen in my house!!!

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I didnt go to a co-ed sleepover until 8th grade...and his parents actually locked the guys in their room and the girls in ours....and set the alarm....so there was nothing we could do even if we had wanted to.

Now it isnt a big deal. I spend the night at a friends house and it'll be coed..and we just crash where we find a place to sleep

I don't think it is a big deal for me now that i'm 17 but i dont think its a good idea at such a young age. I think 8th grade was even too young. I wasnt completely comfortable with the idea until about freshman year.

It's your decision what you do with your child.

 

[disykat]

I would say no to coed sleepovers, but I have to admit that we have good family friends who we swap babysitting etc. with - now that our kids are older sometimes we swap weekends. When they have slept over - my 9 yr old son usually ends up in the living room with their 8 and 11 yr old girls. The three younger boys are all in my 7 yr old's room and they are too rowdy/silly for him - he'd rather be with the girls. I wouldn't have put the girls in his room - but did let him sleep out in the living room with them. Somehow it seemed different to me.

In regular sleepover circumstances, it'll be boys only here.

 

[DVC-Don]

Nope

 

[WebmasterAlex]

hmm since they have been friends for so long I would discuss it.. but I would want to be VERY clear on what the sleeping arrangements would be. As long as they were seperated appropriately I don't see it as a big deal.

 

[JimB.]

Negative Ghostrider.........................

 

[Katie]

ummm............

my kids are very close in age..and they both have friends spend the night all the time..sometimes at the same time...I have never even thought to seperate them..sometimes..they sleep in their own rooms...and sometimes they all sleep in the great room in front of the big TV.

They are 10 and 8......I think, personally...kids are kids...

My 8 yr old son thinks some of my daughters(10) friends are "HOTTIES"..but I have never even thought about inappropriatnesss.....UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Now you have me thinking......darn you!! LOL

 

[Planogirl]

I'm curious as to why this is such a bad idea. I'm not disagreeing but other than not having to tell her later that they can't (which makes a lot of sense IMO) what is the reasoning? They are just kids after all.

Luckily, this has never come up for us!

 

[Princess Michelle]

My parents let me sleep at my friend's (a boy) house when I was around 7. I never thought it was a big deal. We were just two little kids sleeping on the floor and watching cartoons. If it makes you uncomfortable though then don't do it.

 

[browneyes]

My kids have never had a sleepover at all. If I did, would I invite boys to my 9 yo dd's sleepovers-no. Would I invite girls to my 6 yo ds's sleepovers-no. They don't have best friends that are of the opposite sex. Growing up, I only went to same sex sleepovers. Boys were icky when I was younger.

 

[akasleepingbeauty]

I think at 7 or so I would not be uncomfortable with the idea as long as I knew the other child well. If I was somewhat uncomfortable, maybe I would offer to have the sleepover at my house the first time so I could see how things went. Maybe when my dd is 7 I will feel differently but at this point I think it would be okay.

As for telling them no later on, I would think that would work itself out. Most likely, by the time it would truly be inappropriate for them to sleep over, they wouldn't want to. As kids get older, boy/girl friendships generally dissolve due to peer pressure - boys are yucky etc.

Once again, JMO, but I would consider it in the right situation. However, I can completely understand why many, if not the vast majority, of families, would not.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I think you need to go with what you & your husband feel is right.

My ds is a year older than my dd, and he would have his friends sleep over. When they were younger, my dd 7 & my ds 8, one of his friends had to bring his younger brother, too. That brother slept in a bunk bed in my dd's bed -- they were so young & innocent they never thought anything of it. When the kids turned 9 & 10, I began putting the boys upstairs & the girls in my dd's room (or vice versa if there were more girls than boys) ... we had a lot of sleepovers at my house for both kids, and after a certain hour (I think 9), the upstairs became a one-sex room.

However, if my ds/dd wanted to invite a personal friend to spend the night of the opposite sex - or if they were invited - I would tell them no.