Your kids's situations are quite the unique thing. It's not something the general college grad or student would choose to do nor be able to do for multiple things (saving the $$$$ and choosing to live at home that long for that reason, owning before 30, etc) and for multiple reasons. It's great and amazing your kids can do it. It's just on the extreme and a situation unlikely to be able to be replicated to majority of ones out there--that's mostly the message I was trying to convey in the context of this thread
Yes, my kids' choices are fairly unusual, but they haven't done anything that the average college grad can't do -- the average person today chooses consumerism and debt. We raised our kids frugally, and they turned out to be even more parsimonious than me and my husband -- then my oldest married a man who outdoes her in terms of sheer stinginess; for example, he doesn't get haircuts -- he gets his head shaved because he figures it'll extend the time necessary between haircuts. (He's great.)
My daughters really are doing well ... but they are not shining stars amongst their cousins and friends. Those similar-aged family and friends are also doing well financially and are not in the sad sack /no way out /it's not my fault situations in which some Millennials claim themselves to be.
I'm always surprised when people say that young people are so financially disadvantaged now. I always wonder - compared to when? I graduated in the early 80's. Despite having no college debt, I didn't buy a home until I was almost 30, had a 13 in. b/w tv, hand me down furniture, and a very used car. I don't know ANY young people that live the way I ( and pretty much all of my other college educated early career friends at the time) lived then. Interest rates were very high and none of my friends bought homes until they'd been on their own for a long time. Even at that, I surpassed my parent's standard of living at their age. My parents bought their first home at 32/34 in the early 60's. And THEY definitely surpassed THEIR parent's standard of living at similar ages.
My own children surpassed my standard of living at their ages as well. By 24 one had bought a home and one rents an apartment with no roommates. They both have new furniture, vehicles, electronics, and travel, eat out, etc.
I graduated a few years after you, and -- yes -- things were rough then too -- not rough in the same way as today, but rough in their own way. Minimum wage was still $3.35, and new college graduates didn't earn a whole lot more than that -- my first job paid $18,xxx/year. It was a huge relief to me to work ONE job instead of the 2-3 that I constantly worked during college to avoid debt. I was 24 when my husband and I married, and we bought a small house that same (at 9.x% interest) ... after the wedding and the downpayment, we had $200 between us and very little furniture. We were a bit worried about money, but we were extremely happy.
Thinking back, we "did without" a lot of things that young people take for granted. We didn't have a refrigerator for several months -- that was rough; we stopped at the store on the way home from work most days, and we were only able to buy the smallest sizes. We put up old bedsheets over the windows. We didn't go on a honeymoon, and we had only one car -- for years. My engagement ring is a 1/5 carat. We went months without eating out; our grocery budget was $30/week. We had a weird /cheap phone plan that only allowed us to "call out" 10Xs a month ... so I made all my phone calls from work on my lunch hour.
We were not unusual for our generation.
I am not Mrs. Pete, but I know plenty of young families that are homeowners. This would be in the Charlotte, NC area. Also, we have a son that now lives in the Raleigh/Durham area and is a home owner.
We're in that general vicinity, and -- yes -- housing and taxes are significantly lower than other parts of the country; however, wages are also lower.
They all have marketable degrees/trades.
Trades are a great choice today, and I tell my students that often -- but most of them are focused on college, and well over half of them drop out very early in the game.
Don’t be sad. The OP IS doing something wrong with her family. Her current parenting style is not working. She does not want adult children living with her. But they won’t leave. There is something very wrong if you want people out of your home, but they refuse to leave.
IF this is really what's happening, it's a sad situation.
MrsPete said her DS would have his home paid off by 30.
Well, I have no sons. Only daughters, but -- yes -- my four-years-out-of-college daughter is solidly on track to have her starter house paid off by 30. She's made good choices: straight to college out of high school ... graduated in four years ... was working in her field within months of graduation ... she and her new husband saved every penny they made ... bought a "fixer" and did a bunch of DIY ... filled it with used furniture. They're an excellent example of what a couple with a plan /willing to sacrifice small things today for long-term stability can do.
Same here, kids graduate college at 22/23, many go on to graduate school, have loans, and then need to save $80,000 for a down payment, heck most people my age are still paying off their homes.
Okay, college graduation at 22/23 sounds reasonable for many, but less than 10% of all Americans have a graduate degree (check the Census), and -- in my area -- $80,000 would be a 50% downpayment.
. Then, my younger one learned math and informed me that she will still be in high school after 18 so I can't kick her out (damn school system).
