Children in opposite gender bathrooms

[cel_disney]

But if they are in their own stall, the parent is in no way keeping them safe from predators. Which is the reason almost always stated for taking male children into the womens restroom. I've never seen it mentioned that they want to bring them in to teach the how to use a restroom properly. And that lesson is one that can be taught at home, quite frankly. If the child is not in the same stall as the parent it would be very easy for someone to grab them before the parent could even pull their pants up. It is an illusion of safety at best. If they are not in the stall with the parent all the parent is doing is making themselves feel better. They are not doing anything to protect their child.

Do you have slide locks and spin locks on the bathroom doors at your house? Or any doors in your house for that matter?? I think I need pictures of that!

In Disneyworld - my 4 year old would share a stall. My 8 year old could use the stall next to me if he were in there with me. It's not an illusion of safety. They are going to be mostly safe in there - and certainly MUCH safer than if I had to leave them outside the bathroom all together waiting for us. And I would still know much faster that something bad was happening if we were 2 feet from each other than if we were in different bathrooms.

 

[maxiesmom]

Do you have slide locks and spin locks on the bathroom doors at your house? Or any doors in your house for that matter?? I think I need pictures of that!

In Disneyworld - my 4 year old would share a stall. My 8 year old could use the stall next to me if he were in there with me. It's not an illusion of safety. They are going to be mostly safe in there - and certainly MUCH safer than if I had to leave them outside the bathroom all together waiting for us. And I would still know much faster that something bad was happening if we were 2 feet from each other than if we were in different bathrooms.

Most children learn how to use those types of locks in school, if not before. They certainly don't need to be learning that at age 8 or 7. You speak about teaching your children how to do things, doesn't teaching them how to use the proper gender restroom fall into that too? Or is it better to teach them that adult men are creeps and can't be trusted?

 

[Gracie09]

Most children learn how to use those types of locks in school, if not before. They certainly don't need to be learning that at age 8 or 7. You speak about teaching your children how to do things, doesn't teaching them how to use the proper gender restroom fall into that too? Or is it better to teach them that adult men are creeps and can't be trusted?

My kids learned how to do the lock (and undo them) when they were about two and would always unlock them while I was in there doing my business. It lead to some laughs let me tell you.

Kids are exposed to these kinds of locks their whole lives. I would be very concerned about a 7 or 8 year old who can't figure out the basic slide lock or Turing lock that is in most bathrooms. They are the same that are in most schools.

 

[Pookasaurus]

Wow - what is so hard to comprehend that some people may have, and are entitled to, making their own decisions as to what they are or are not comfortable with when parenting their child? You have no idea what challenges a child faces or what experiences in someones past they may face - so why all the judging? Do you really require strangers to tell you their own personal stories less they be judged by your almighty perfect eyes? My guess is you wouldn't and would be ashamed if some did.

I think most peoples concerns lie not in the actual act in the bathroom but in leaving a 7 or 8 year old unattended in the middle of a theme park or store.

The funny thing is half the people complaining here about a mother keeping her kids near by where she can keep an eye on them while she goes to the bathroom are the exact same people who would be judging and complaining about the mother who left her 7 year old unattended in the parks, or store, or wherever. We teach our children not to "judge" yet us as mothers so freely do so of each other. It is disgusting.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Wow - what is so hard to comprehend that some people may have, and are entitled to, making their own decisions as to what they are or are not comfortable with when parenting their child? You have no idea what challenges a child faces or what experiences in someones past they may face - so why all the judging? Do you really require strangers to tell you their own personal stories less they be judged by your almighty perfect eyes? My guess is you wouldn't and would be ashamed if some did.

No problem with people taking children into the opposite sex bathroom.

My only problem is when the parent is negligent allows said child to be a peeping tom. That problem can be solved by allowing the child into your stall. I mean wouldn't it be better to have a child see their own parent, rather than some stranger?

Oh, and if it is a man taking a female into the men's room. Please be respectful and call out to let everyone know. You never know if there is a young boy there who would be mortified to find a girl in the boys room.

 

[maxiesmom]

Wow - what is so hard to comprehend that some people may have, and are entitled to, making their own decisions as to what they are or are not comfortable with when parenting their child? You have no idea what challenges a child faces or what experiences in someones past they may face - so why all the judging? Do you really require strangers to tell you their own personal stories less they be judged by your almighty perfect eyes? My guess is you wouldn't and would be ashamed if some did.

Because it is very easy for the parent to make an accommodation (taking the child into the stall with them) which would make everyone happy. And yet many refuse to. Why is that? It makes it seem as if they only care about making themselves happy, and don't care about anyone else in the restroom.

 

[cel_disney]

Because it is very easy for the parent to make an accommodation (taking the child into the stall with them) which would make everyone happy. And yet many refuse to. Why is that? It makes it seem as if they only care about making themselves happy, and don't care about anyone else in the restroom.

It not VERY easy for the parent who has to share a very tiny stall with their 2 kids.. At disney even worse as you have your park backpack and camera too! I don't really care if they watch me - I can't remember the last time I peed without an audience at home - but it's far from 'easy' for all of us (or even 2 of us sometimes!) to fit in a single stall...

I have not encountered the peeping Tom in the bathroom but I'm not sure I would care if a 5 year old saw me peeing thru the crack in the door - what the heck can you see?

And I agree with the pp - I would be judged for leaving the kids outside of the bathroom all together just as much as I am for bringing them in and each of us using a stall - so, we will continue to do what works for our family (which - incidentally - going back to the beginning of this thread has gone to a more conservative style in recent weeks that has my DS8 using the woman's room again where I can be closer to him than had he gone to the men's room)

 

[maxiesmom]

It not VERY easy for the parent who has to share a very tiny stall with their 2 kids.. At disney even worse as you have your park backpack and camera too! I don't really care if they watch me - I can't remember the last time I peed without an audience at home - but it's far from 'easy' for all of us (or even 2 of us sometimes!) to fit in a single stall...

I have not encountered the peeping Tom in the bathroom but I'm not sure I would care if a 5 year old saw me peeing thru the crack in the door - what the heck can you see?

And I agree with the pp - I would be judged for leaving the kids outside of the bathroom all together just as much as I am for bringing them in and each of us using a stall - so, we will continue to do what works for our family (which - incidentally - going back to the beginning of this thread has gone to a more conservative style in recent weeks that has my DS8 using the woman's room again where I can be closer to him than had he gone to the men's room)

Other people do care if your kids watch them. And what can they see? Quite a lot, as most of the stalls have large gaps between the frame and the door. I dare say too that most guests are not used to being watched while they take care of business, and they have the right to do so without being watched. Not saying that your kids specifically are peepers, but some kids do peep.

I really don't see how a park bag takes up so much space that someone couldn't have it and their child in the stall with them either. It does sound like an excuse to do what works for you, no matter if it has a negative impact on other guests or not. Which is why this argument keeps popping up. People could accommodate other guests and their sense of privacy, but choose not to, because it is a little inconvenient. People are supposed to respect parents and their right to protect their children, but at the same time many parents don't respect other guests and their right to privacy.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I have not encountered the peeping Tom in the bathroom but I'm not sure I would care if a 5 year old saw me peeing thru the crack in the door - what the heck can you see?

Well, they could see me giving myself an injection. Or adjusting my bra. They could see full frontal nudity.

But you know what? It really doesn't matter. I close the door because I want privacy. I've already been through the time when I had a child with me in the bathroom. I have no desire to go back, especially with a child that I do not know.

Edited to add:
Sometimes it isn't a five year old. Sometimes it is an eight year old. And sometimes the child is even older.

 

[Gracie09]

It not VERY easy for the parent who has to share a very tiny stall with their 2 kids.. At disney even worse as you have your park backpack and camera too! I don't really care if they watch me - I can't remember the last time I peed without an audience at home - but it's far from 'easy' for all of us (or even 2 of us sometimes!) to fit in a single stall...

I have not encountered the peeping Tom in the bathroom but I'm not sure I would care if a 5 year old saw me peeing thru the crack in the door - what the heck can you see?

And I agree with the pp - I would be judged for leaving the kids outside of the bathroom all together just as much as I am for bringing them in and each of us using a stall - so, we will continue to do what works for our family (which - incidentally - going back to the beginning of this thread has gone to a more conservative style in recent weeks that has my DS8 using the woman's room again where I can be closer to him than had he gone to the men's room)

The thread started because a cm interfered and interjected herself where she should not have gone. The original child was five not eight. There is a huge difference in maturity. The appropriate gender restroom was not available to the child.
You son is eight. On the lower end of tween years. He have likely gone to school for several years where he goes to the bathroom alone and btw where he has a much higher chance of being molested or otherwise attacked than in a theme park.

I have often taken two and sometimes three children into regular stalls. It's tight but it works. I have been peeped at by a male child in the restroom at Disney and when I told him to stop his mother got all uppity because how dare I tell her child what to do. My dd also almost sat in a toilet that the male hild that was almost as tall as me, left the seat up. I happened to look before she closed the door and saw the seat up. Since dh lowers the seat every time, she wouldn't have even looked for it.

 

[Sparkly]

Maybe they should just rename the ladies restroom "Ladies and young boys of various ages"????

 

[disneywalkers]

While I personally think that it is fine in this case for a quick run into the mens room for hand-washing I also agree that many people take kids of opposite gender in WAY TOO OLD. And it is exactly because of the reason that society often disappoints me these days...because it is all about their own child. Think of this from an 8, 9, 10, or 13 year old boy's perspective...At the urinal, doing your business and dad turns away for a second and the little girl either accidentally or due to curiosity turns and looks at the goods...That is major embarrassment for him. I know my 12 year old ds would be mortified. So unless it is an emergency or you are a single parent- I would say to find another place to wash.

I agree. There's an age but each child is different.

But one day all bathrooms will be transgender if things keep heading in the unfortunate direction it's heading. We may have to get over this little subject some day about 8 year old boys in the women's room and be discussing something far worse

 

[disneywalkers]

YES. I get so tired of "little" boys staring into the stall while I am doing my business.

I have been to WDW 3 times this year, total of 5 weeks out of the year and this hasn't once happened to me. I hear this often and I keep thinking how am I not seeing this happening as I pee every 30 mins while there it seems?!?!

I've gone yearly for 10 years before 2014 and 3 weeks each time.

Why hasn't this happened to me?!?! Lol

Seriously, I guess I have mastered peeing in a public bathroom stall. I am IN the stall and don't see my hoo-hoo. Surely IF a little boy ever peeks in he won't either lol

 

[disneywalkers]

But if they are in their own stall, the parent is in no way keeping them safe from predators. Which is the reason almost always stated for taking male children into the womens restroom. I've never seen it mentioned that they want to bring them in to teach the how to use a restroom properly. And that lesson is one that can be taught at home, quite frankly. If the child is not in the same stall as the parent it would be very easy for someone to grab them before the parent could even pull their pants up. It is an illusion of safety at best. If they are not in the stall with the parent all the parent is doing is making themselves feel better. They are not doing anything to protect their child.

This is how it works. You put child in stall next to you. You pee faster and get out before they do and watch their feet under the stall. Or if they pee faster they are to exit stall and stand facing away from your stall with one foot behind them under your stall door so you can see it.

Then you walk to sink and wash hands together.

Easy. It's not rocket science how to keep your child safe while they use a separate stall and keep them from bothering others.

Have you been in a WDW stall? I do take my 5 year old girl in with me often and it's a tight fit.

 

[maxiesmom]

This is how it works. You put child in stall next to you. You pee faster and get out before they do and watch their feet under the stall. Or if they pee faster they are to exit stall and stand facing away from your stall with one foot behind them under your stall door so you can see it.

Then you walk to sink and wash hands together.

Easy. It's not rocket science how to keep your child safe while they use a separate stall and keep them from bothering others.

Have you been in a WDW stall? I do take my 5 year old girl in with me often and it's a tight fit.

I've been in plenty over the last 20 years. And while it may be a tight fit, it is very doable. And if it is tight, wouldn't it be respectful of the other guests to have your male child in the stall with you, where you can be 100% certain he is safe and not causing others discomfort? You can respect their right to privacy, and they can respect your right to have your male child with you.

What you are missing is that while you are in the stall it would be easy for someone to walk off with or molest your child, before you could even pull your pants up, if that was their intent. As easy as it would happen in a mens room. Want to know why it is basically unheard of at WDW? Because the restrooms are full of people who would step in. The mens room included.

 

[aaarcher86]

Of all places to practice waiting outside the restroom on a bench, I'd think WDW would be one of the best. It's full of parents and CMs, and in don't believe a lost child has ever gotten out of the park.

Honestly, I'm just so shocked that people aren't teaching their kids life skills at older ages.

 

[cel_disney]

Of all places to practice waiting outside the restroom on a bench, I'd think WDW would be one of the best. It's full of parents and CMs, and in don't believe a lost child has ever gotten out of the park. Honestly, I'm just so shocked that people aren't teaching their kids life skills at older ages.

We did it for over a year (DS using the boys room alone or waiting for us - we were never helicopter parents until last month!) but after the incident with the man falling from the ceiling (in a bathroom we were at in October) - we have stopped. WDW is not my ideal place for practice - because it can be very distracting for kids - there was more than one time that DS was not sitting in the same spot because he saw something interesting (the worst offender was routinely PUSH the trash can in Tomorrowland - ah, the good old days!) - but those were all turned into good lessons for him as well BUT it's our prerogative to not be that far apart anymore.

It stinks for DS too - he deserves his chance to be big and have privacy in the bathroom just as much as (the collective) you and me, but the nut jobs in the world are the ones that are causing everyone in this thread to be disgruntled and cranky - the rest of us are just finding a way to be comfortable living with the fact the nut jobs exist and could be anywhere.

 

[aaarcher86]

We did it for over a year (DS using the boys room alone or waiting for us - we were never helicopter parents until last month!) but after the incident with the man falling from the ceiling (in a bathroom we were at in October) - we have stopped. WDW is not my ideal place for practice - because it can be very distracting for kids - there was more than one time that DS was not sitting in the same spot because he saw something interesting (the worst offender was routinely PUSH the trash can in Tomorrowland - ah, the good old days!) - but those were all turned into good lessons for him as well BUT it's our prerogative to not be that far apart anymore. It stinks for DS too - he deserves his chance to be big and have privacy in the bathroom just as much as (the collective) you and me, but the nut jobs in the world are the ones that are causing everyone in this thread to be disgruntled and cranky - the rest of us are just finding a way to be comfortable living with the fact the nut jobs exist and could be anywhere.

I just think if people are really trying to protect from but jobs it should be in the most likely places - schools, churches, etc.

Taking these precautions somewhere where the chances of something happening seem statistically lower doesn't make sense to me. Genuine question - why take away your sons chance to grow instead of teaching him how to handle that kind of situation?

 

[maxiesmom]

We did it for over a year (DS using the boys room alone or waiting for us - we were never helicopter parents until last month!) but after the incident with the man falling from the ceiling (in a bathroom we were at in October) - we have stopped. WDW is not my ideal place for practice - because it can be very distracting for kids - there was more than one time that DS was not sitting in the same spot because he saw something interesting (the worst offender was routinely PUSH the trash can in Tomorrowland - ah, the good old days!) - but those were all turned into good lessons for him as well BUT it's our prerogative to not be that far apart anymore.

It stinks for DS too - he deserves his chance to be big and have privacy in the bathroom just as much as (the collective) you and me, but the nut jobs in the world are the ones that are causing everyone in this thread to be disgruntled and cranky - the rest of us are just finding a way to be comfortable living with the fact the nut jobs exist and could be anywhere.

What makes you think the nut jobs are only over in the mens restrooms?

 

[cel_disney]

We have discussed it as a family quite a bit -as we really thought we had done alot of teaching to get to this point where he was allowed to be independent. But - after the attacker/peeper fell from the ceiling and attacked the woman he landed on and then went outside the bathroom to attack the older man she was with - we clearly have a whole new set of things to consider that even we don't yet know how to protect ourselves from and would have to figure it out in the moment. Until we can come up with our own strategy for how we would handle those moments beyond adrenaline and life experiences just doing what ever we do - we dont have a good strategy to teach our son or daughter. The old stereotypical concerns seem to be less and less likely (schools are pretty much on lockdown now when it comes to adults being in there - becoming a lower frequency occurrence for the littler kids to have encounters with strangers - the risk there is almost solely those that were trusted ) and the avoid strangers/look away/walk out if it feels or looks weird etc techniques are not going to be sufficient for the situations making the news today.

He wont be going into the woman's room forever - and in places when we are comfortable that the nut-job level is more traditional and he has the skills to cope and one of us can at least wait outside (vs trek into the woman's room with our daughter or doesn't need to use the restroom ourselves) - we will work to keep him practicing those life skills. Otherwise - he will continue using his own stall in the women's bathroom where I can be in closer proximity. As he gains more experience and we are comfortable that he could protect himself in some way (and even conceptually understand the level of crazy that is possible) - he will regain that independence.

At this point (8 years old) - I am not worried about his 'bathroom skills' anymore - he can cope with just about any type of toilet or urinal, automated sink/soap/faucet/papertowels, broken or unbroken or stuck lock, toilet paper emergencies, line or waiting order etc that there is...

We will continue - as a family - talking about these types of situations to make sure that everyone can be prepared for the unexpected. Hopefully in a year - we will feel that we have raised our readiness bar to our new realities and can go back to what was once 'normal' - our DS using the Mens bathroom!

(My 4 yo daughter is actually a whole different problem - much to her dismay - she is VERY VERY short - I think it will be several years before she can reach sinks/soap/paper towels to go alone - a problem we didnt have with DS who was the size of an average 11 year old at 7 years of age! So it could be longer that she is using the mens room if I am not with her)