Children in opposite gender bathrooms

[twinboysmom]

I think the 5 year old was fine to wash her hands. In regard to the debate about opposite gender children in restrooms my response is always the same. If you think that your children are too young or too irresponsible to use the bathroom on their gender then that is fine. Bring your children in the stall with you so you can watch your kid(s). There is no way you are adequately watching your child if you are locked in a separate stall. I say this as the mother of two children with severe ASD. My kids are 5 and at some point in the near future they will be too "old" for the women's restroom. They will stay in my stall or I will seek family restrooms. My needs as a parent do not come before the comfort of other women and young girls.

 

[Ava]

If you are going to do it, at least have the courtesy to yell out, "Female on deck."

This made me remember when I was a kid and would go roller skating with my dad. I was about 4 or 5, too young to manage the restroom alone, especially on roller skates. So my dad would yell into the men's room, "Little girl coming in, cover it up!" and then rush me into a stall. Thankfully I was too young to be mortified by that, lol.

I don't have a problem with young kids in the opposite gender bathroom, as long as they're kept in the stall with a parent (or the parent is standing outside of the stall while the kid is in it). If your child is too young to go into their appropriate gender bathroom alone, they're too young to be left standing outside the stall waiting for you.

I also don't think 5 is at all too old. My 5yo DD still can't reach the water/soap/towels in a lot of public restrooms, and she's tall. She's also just not quite mature enough; she'd dawdle in the stall or play in the sink instead of just doing her business and coming back out.

 

[Lalalyn]

Do the men's bathrooms have baby changing stations? We are taking our five year old and two year old twins. All girls. DH Doesn't like taking our five year old. He thinks she should be in the women's restroom. But me taking all three is a circus. Please tell me Disney put baby changing stuff in the men's bathrooms!

 

[cel_disney]

Do the men's bathrooms have baby changing stations? We are taking our five year old and two year old twins. All girls. DH Doesn't like taking our five year old. He thinks she should be in the women's restroom. But me taking all three is a circus. Please tell me Disney put baby changing stuff in the men's bathrooms!

Most definitely there are changing stations in every rest room - men and women!

 

[I M Fearless]

Here's one scenario worth thinking about...

In the UK many public bathrooms have two sets of doors to go through before getting inside. I have experienced a situation sending a little girl into the ladies bathroom on her own, at age 7 with me standing outside waiting.

This seemed like an okay plan, I knew there was only one way back out and I waited outside. She was happy to go in alone. Quite some time passed, I waited, not sure if there were other woman also inside possibly causing a line.

I eventually went in there after her, to find that she was very upset. It turned out that the door to get back out was in-fact too hard for her to pull open... she had pushed her body weight against the door opening it to go in just fine, but when coming out the handle was fairly high and she did not have the strength to pull the door open towards her to get back out, she is very slight and not particularly strong and the door was heavy with a device on the top causing it to close.

I think it's very difficult to please everyone in life all the time, and you sometimes have to accept that people are going to have different opinions to you and that you could possibly upset them. As long as you are happy to live with your own decisions and consequences of them that is the most important thing.

But I would suggest that before sending a child into a bathroom alone, make sure they can get back out!

 

[maxiesmom]

I think it's very difficult to please everyone in life all the time, and you sometimes have to accept that people are going to have different opinions to you and that you could possibly upset them. As long as you are happy to live with your own decisions and consequences of them that is the most important thing.

But I would suggest that before sending a child into a bathroom alone, make sure they can get back out!

At least at WDW, very few of the public restrooms have in and out doors on them. Most of them you walk in, and turn and go around a wall.

I also think we have to consider that others sometimes have to deal with the consequences of our actions too. So our goal as humans shouldn't always be to do things that we can live with, but to do things that others can live with too. Thinking of others, and about how our actions may negatively impact them, is not a bad thing.

 

[btk2333]

If this had happened to me, I would have politely asked if there was another ladies washroom my wife could take my daughter to in the restaurant. If the answer was no, I would have said "Thank you" and walked right past the CM to the washroom. When I returned to the table I would have asked to speak to the manager about the CM (if she was indeed over the top rude).

agreed

 

[Gracie09]

Do the men's bathrooms have baby changing stations? We are taking our five year old and two year old twins. All girls. DH Doesn't like taking our five year old. He thinks she should be in the women's restroom. But me taking all three is a circus. Please tell me Disney put baby changing stuff in the men's bathrooms!

Absolutely! Dh often took diaper duty because there was never a wait for the changing area

 

[I M Fearless]

At least at WDW, very few of the public restrooms have in and out doors on them. Most of them you walk in, and turn and go around a wall.

I also think we have to consider that others sometimes have to deal with the consequences of our actions too. So our goal as humans shouldn't always be to do things that we can live with, but to do things that others can live with too. Thinking of others, and about how our actions may negatively impact them, is not a bad thing.

I totally agree that we should have due regard to other people's feelings. I just think that it's important to remember that however hard we try to please everyone, our actions may inadvertently have an unforeseen outcome of upsetting others, which I think can sometimes ruin your day unnecessarily.

While coming out of town square theater in June we found ourselves on a very busy sidewalk. We were trying to make our way up main street for a Be Our Guest ADR. Many people were sitting on the sidewalk awaiting the forthcoming 9pm MSEP. As there was no obvious way to get through, my friend attempted to move a stroller slightly, which was empty and placed next to a lady who was sitting on a large ECV, with a picnic blanket, obviously saving a space for others to watch the parade which was still 45 minutes away.

My friend was polite and asked as she moved through the gap if she could go through to get out of the crowd. It was a split second decision, which given the extreme busyness on the sidewalk appeared to be sensible.

The lady was extremely upset and shouted at my friend that... "it was not a walkway" It was not our intention to upset the lady, at all, but it was difficult to foresee that by trying to get by it would cause offence to the person in question.

I could have understood if she had pushed the stroller, or if a child had been in it, but she carefully moved around it taking care not to stand on the picnic blanket or push into the people who were there.

Potentially this could have taken the shine off an otherwise perfect last day in the magic kingdom, and so I suppose my point is that unless you have deliberately set about to cause distress to others, or have done so by blatantly disregarding them altogether, you mustn't let events like this totally spoil your day. Sometimes despite our best efforts, we can end up upsetting people without intending to do so.

 

[pls5286]

I have 2 experiences that relate to this. I was at Stone Mountain several years ago, with my children. DS who was around 12 and DD who was 4 or 5. Still very young. My DD had to go to the bathroom. The line for the ladies room wrapped around the lobby. She started to do the dance. Her brother took her to the mens room where there was no line. She did her business, he helped her wash her hands and out they came.

The second one involves my DSS who is 15. He is Autistic and a wanderer. He lives 4 hours from us. There have been many times I have taken him back and forth alone. We usually have to stop for the restroom on the way. He comes into the bathroom with me. Its too big of a chance of him wandering off. I put him in the stall beside me and problem solved.

 

[North of Mouse]

The second one involves my DSS who is 15. He is Autistic and a wanderer. He lives 4 hours from us. There have been many times I have taken him back and forth alone. We usually have to stop for the restroom on the way. He comes into the bathroom with me. Its too big of a chance of him wandering off. I put him in the stall beside me and problem solved.

Definitely understandable, 'but' I would call out if anyone was in there, or just a warning, explaining you have a young man with you, then go in and proceed with your plan - I would not just 'walk in' - could be pretty traumatic to some women or girls otherwise. I know I would get a bit of a fright, not knowing the situation.

 

[NJlauren]

My dad always took me to the men's room. I remember one time I must have been 6 or 7, we were supposed to go to a baseball game as a family and my sister got the chicken pox, so my dad and I went with the neighbors (father and son). I remember having to go to the bathroom and my dad not letting me go to the ladies room alone he made me use the men's room. I felt a little strange but I think even then I got it. Everyone needs to make the right call for their family, and frankly its a public restroom nothing should be going on that is not ok for young children to see anyway!

 

[Pookasaurus]

If I was in the ladies room alone and some mother brought her older son - even 15 in with her - it wouldn't bother me. I'd assume there is some reason. As a mom, I know a quiet trip to the ladies is a pleasantry we are not often afforded so if we are dragging our kids, no matter what age, with us - there is a reason. And it probably trumps my need to pee without any y chromosomes in a 20 foot radius.

I know there isn't a popsicle's chance in you know where I'd send my 7yo into a crowded public bathroom alone right now given the various horror stories. Yes, the chances are low but I have OCD and I just can't do it. sorry. Nor would I leave my tending to wander son to wait at a theme park for me alone outside. I have my reasons, they are valid, and frankly no ones business. Luckily I don't have to do this often, and DH will likely take him at WDW so now worries, but I also don't think there is anything terrifying about it.

I do take my 4yo in the bathrooms with me - he is the bigger worry for you shy potty breakers and rightfully so. When he was younger he liked to peruse what was under that divider on the other side. Was horrifyingly embarrassing for me and I did my best to avoid it. Now he just enjoys giving commentary and asking questions about exactly what I am doing in there - "You going poo, momma?!"

Trust me, if there was another safe option, I wouldn't be bringing him along to an icky public bathroom. And thus if there is and DH is around, I try not to. Unfortunately that isn't always the case.

 

[maxiesmom]

If I was in the ladies room alone and some mother brought her older son - even 15 in with her - it wouldn't bother me. I'd assume there is some reason. As a mom, I know a quiet trip to the ladies is a pleasantry we are not often afforded so if we are dragging our kids, no matter what age, with us - there is a reason. And it probably trumps my need to pee without any y chromosomes in a 20 foot radius.

I know there isn't a popsicle's chance in you know where I'd send my 7yo into a crowded public bathroom alone right now given the various horror stories. Yes, the chances are low but I have OCD and I just can't do it. sorry. Nor would I leave my tending to wander son to wait at a theme park for me alone outside. I have my reasons, they are valid, and frankly no ones business. Luckily I don't have to do this often, and DH will likely take him at WDW so now worries, but I also don't think there is anything terrifying about it.

I do take my 4yo in the bathrooms with me - he is the bigger worry for you shy potty breakers and rightfully so. When he was younger he liked to peruse what was under that divider on the other side. Was horrifyingly embarrassing for me and I did my best to avoid it. Now he just enjoys giving commentary and asking questions about exactly what I am doing in there - "You going poo, momma?!"

Trust me, if there was another safe option, I wouldn't be bringing him along to an icky public bathroom. And thus if there is and DH is around, I try not to. Unfortunately that isn't always the case.

Hopefully you are bringing that child into the stall with you, as that is the only way to keep them safe while you are using the restroom.

 

[cel_disney]

Hopefully you are bringing that child into the stall with you, as that is the only way to keep them safe while you are using the restroom.

The cycle will not end if We don't teach them and make sure they are able to do things responsibly on their own in a stall. It's important to make sure they are able to lock and unlock the door alone, reach the toilet paper, deal with auto flushing and non-auto flushing toilets etc. These are not things we can teach in our home, so we use these opportunities to practice 'developing capable people'. We look for stalls next to each other when going into a low volume bathroom situation. I am comfortable that with them in the stall right next to me in a non-crowded clean public bathroom that it's possible to keep them safe enough. There is a big difference between having a divider wall between us and having several large doors and hallways and unattended people by allowing them to use the restroom alone.

* When it's CROWDED/BUSY/UNFAMILIAR - all bets are off - but if it's the bathroom at a high school basketball game in the middle of the 1st quarter and I am with my 4 year old - it's a 'developing capable people' moment...

 

[aaarcher86]

I think it's kind of scary that children aren't being taught what to do in certain situations. I'm willing to bet there are more instances of teachers doing inappropriate things to children over strangers in the bathroom. I get WDW is a different environment, but we shouldn't lose all sense!

I've emailed guest relations before because of threads like this - specifically to see what the cutoff is for opposite genders in restrooms because a mother brought up she had a disabled older boy. They advised anything 10 and up should be in their own gender restroom or to use a companion restroom. So that's what I go on, personally.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I don't have a problem with young kids in the opposite gender bathroom, as long as they're kept in the stall with a parent (or the parent is standing outside of the stall while the kid is in it). If your child is too young to go into their appropriate gender bathroom alone, they're too young to be left standing outside the stall waiting for you.

YES.

I get so tired of "little" boys staring into the stall while I am doing my business.

 

[Pookasaurus]

Hopefully you are bringing that child into the stall with you, as that is the only way to keep them safe while you are using the restroom.

No - I usually just tie his leash to the sink. As long as I can hear his screams of profanity at other patrons I figure he is good.

 

[cel_disney]

no - i usually just tie his leash to the sink. As long as i can hear his screams of profanity at other patrons i figure he is good.

need a like button!!

 

[maxiesmom]

The cycle will not end if We don't teach them and make sure they are able to do things responsibly on their own in a stall. It's important to make sure they are able to lock and unlock the door alone, reach the toilet paper, deal with auto flushing and non-auto flushing toilets etc. These are not things we can teach in our home, so we use these opportunities to practice 'developing capable people'. We look for stalls next to each other when going into a low volume bathroom situation. I am comfortable that with them in the stall right next to me in a non-crowded clean public bathroom that it's possible to keep them safe enough. There is a big difference between having a divider wall between us and having several large doors and hallways and unattended people by allowing them to use the restroom alone.

But if they are in their own stall, the parent is in no way keeping them safe from predators. Which is the reason almost always stated for taking male children into the womens restroom. I've never seen it mentioned that they want to bring them in to teach the how to use a restroom properly. And that lesson is one that can be taught at home, quite frankly.

If the child is not in the same stall as the parent it would be very easy for someone to grab them before the parent could even pull their pants up. It is an illusion of safety at best. If they are not in the stall with the parent all the parent is doing is making themselves feel better. They are not doing anything to protect their child.