Child molested in bathroom

[Lezah]

I have had the same problem when out alone with my DS9. The most recent time was in November when we were out at a figure skating event (Skate Canada for those who are interested) just the 2 of us. We had driven over an hour to get there, watched the first skaters and when they resurfaced the ice I had to go to the bathroom. We both went together and of course stood in the line that is invariably there at a skating event. We got all kinds of dirty looks from the ladies in line. When we went into a stall (together so as to not take up two stalls when there was a line up and also to avoid even more dirty looks from those waiting) I heard a woman say quite loudly to her friend, "Isn't he a little old to be going with his Mom to the bathroom!". To which I also very loudly replied (from inside the stall!),"Not when his Mom is here by herself and she loves and protects her child, but thanks for being concerned!". She was quiet after that and when we came out, we actually got some smiles from some people. I was livid. I'm sorry but there are far too many wackos out there. We live in a small town and are still very protective of him even here. I applaud every Mother (or Father) who protects their gifts from God that way. JMHO.

 

[4greatboys]

Hentob check your pm's

 

[julie_yet]

Things like that make me sick to my stomach. A few years ago at the library a man approached me as I was about to walk into the ladies room. He asked if I would take his little girl (who looked about 2) to the restroom. He said he wasn't sure if it would be right taking her into the men's room. I held my hands out to see if she'd come to me (I wasn't about to just take her out of her dad's arms) but she pulled away and buried her face in her father's shoulder. So I told him that my dad used to take my sister into the men's room when she was just that little and nobody had a problem with it. I guess that made him feel better and he took her with him.
I felt kind of weird about it though. Of course I wouldn't harm her but he had no idea who I was.

 

[isyne4u]

Originally posted by phillybeth
These things went on then too, but no one talked about it, kids were not believed, those that were had to go through agonies in a legal system not designed to advocate for the child. There were no DNA tests to help with identification .
I remember 25 years ago there was a rapist in Philly, the Jogging Rapist. All dressed in jogging outfits, he would go out early in the mornings and grab young girls on their way to school. A friend of mine was sexually molested in a public swimming pool by the father of another kid- no one believed her because HE said it didn't happen.

Phillybeth...you know I hadn't even thought of it that way, but I know you are right...I guess in that sense we have come a long way in our knowledge and understanding of children and sexual predators! Thanks for making me think more rationally.

Thank you too to all who have responded with the same opinions and concerns for your children. I can't imagine what I would do if something like this happened to my child. And what gets me is that places like WDW and DL are what Dr. Phil calls "Target Rich Environments" (he means looking for a SO, but I think it applies here too) Where better for a sicko to hang out than in a place full of children.

I like the idea of carrying around the stories to show people that this can happen!!

tara

 

[floridafam]

I feel very strongly about this subject.

I remember the young boy who was murdered while his adult relative was right outside the bathroom.

My DS7 and DD4 go to the restroom with me now and will until I feel comfortable. I will NOT send my 7 yr old into the restroom by himself. If we are somewhere with DH, then he will take him.

I could CARE LESS if I get looks or someone says something. I will do what I can to protect my child.

It really irks me that there are people in this world who would harm a child in a bathroom. I hope they lock that guy up forever.

 

[Manda1219]

I am 20 years old, and at rest stops, sometimes I myself feel unsafe going into the bathrooms, especially at night. One night on the way down to WDW, my boyfriend and I stopped in Maryland and as we were getting out to use the rest rooms, a group of men in a van pulled up next to us and started eyeing me. We got right back into the car and stopped at a McDonalds...People of ALL ages need to be careful, and I praise those who bring their children into the rest rooms. I work in a childrens clothing store and I can't tell you how many times I've run across "lost" kids who's parents were in the bathrooms, or gone into the bathroom myself and seen young kids in there while there parents are shopping away (it's a pretty big store, VERY easy for a child to get lost in). Every time I see this, I take the childs hand (if they let me) and bring them straight to their parents. ANYONE can walk off with these kids, it's so refreshing to see parents who care-I applaud you all.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That is SO AWFUL! My heart breaks for those children.
I don't give it a second look if a boy is in the girls room.

This reminded me of something that happened awhile ago, a couple of years perhaps.

A women was standing with her son around 8-9-10ish and he had to go to the bathroom. She was not going to allow her son to go into the mens room alone (don't blame her) and she wanted him to go in the womens. He was REFUSING! The mom knew he had to "go" but kept saying he didn't. I could see the kids embarrassment.
So what do I do? After all I just couldn't stand the thought of this poor kid dying to use the restroom.

I opened the mens room door, (after I was quite aware no one was going in or out, btw) went in check every nook and cranny told the mom to come her and look it was empty.
She thanked me and the boy was smiling. And then promptly used the facilities.

Now I am sure I will get flamed for this but I just couldn't stand the thought of that boy so uncomfortable.

 

[janette]

I don't think it's a bad thing for boys to go into the ladies room with mom but I do think that WDW is somewhere that a problem would be unlikely. Yes there are lots of children but there are lots of people too. The places children are attacked are empty restrooms where someone sits and waits for a victim.

Mystery Machine has a good option for older boys in out of the way / quiet restrooms. Have the child check to see if anyone is there while mom stands at an open door. If it's empty he can use the facilities and if not wait until it is.

I don't have boys but my girls did go to the men's room with their grandpa often when they were small.

 

[jiminy579]

Originally posted by Lezah
I applaud every Mother (or Father) who protects their gifts from God that way. JMHO.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, and <font color=blue><b>applaud you</b><font color=black> for your response to the rude woman in the restroom with you. I don't understand why people think a 9 year old boy can defend himself? So many people consider age an issue, as if there is a cut off age for boys where suddenly it becomes inappropriate for him to go into the ladies room with his mom. Not long ago a 14 year old boy was raped in a men's restroom at Potomac Mills shopping mall. (This is a mall I have been to 3 times now and not once did I feel unsafe there.) Luckily someone came in and when they heard the ruckus went for help. Now of course a 14 year old boy isn't going to go into a woman's restroom with his mom, but obviously his age wasn't enough to keep him safe from harm.

Even though this thread tells a terrible story, I am happy it was posted so people can become educated and quit judging others. I was stunned and saddened to read the other "debate thread" and heated arguments discussing this same issue. It is terrible to think that women and their sons have to deal with nasty looks, snide remarks and even get <b>yelled </b> at by rude, unsympathetic people. Hopefully this thread will shed light on how serious this problem is today.

Thanks for posting it for us!!

 

[cgcw]

Originally posted by Mishetta
I also ask him to stay in the stall until I come out & this way we wash our hands together (I don't know if some wacko would snatch him away while he's out there waiting for me to come out of the stall!)

We do this too. I let my DS go in a stall first and he knows to wait for me. Our signal is a special knock that I will do on the stall door to tell him it's me and it's okay to come out.

I don't care if others have a problem with our routine, he's my child and I'm going to do whatever I can within my power to protect him.


Lezah, good for the you giving it right back to the person who made a comment about your son being in the ladies room. Some people just need to be put in their place.

 

[Shel]

What a terrible thing to have happen! It makes one wonder how people can be so demented as to want to hurt a child. It will certainly make me more dilligent watching over my 11 year old DD, who thinks she's WAY too old for Mom to go to the restroom with her.

 

[Nutsy]

that is sick

My boys never went into the mens restrooms alone till they were about 11 & prior to that,they either came to the ladies with me or if their Dad was with us they would go to the mens.

 

[twinmomplus2]

I was on the other thread as well. I seem to remember some people suggesting they allowed the boys to go in alone at Disney. Because it could never happen there. I recall being flamed for saying it happpens everywhere. And it does!

 

[floridafam]

I agree.

I think it seems more likely to happen at Disney. Sick jerks who do this kind of thing know there are kids everywhere at Disney.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by 4greatboys
Same here! And I was actually flamed on another thread for saying that my boys go into the womens room with me Well my 2 oldest are 16 and so they do use the mens room together but my 2 little ones will continue to go with me to the womens room til I feel they are old enough and big enough. And no the 2 oldest arent always with us or dh. As long as there are sickos like this out there you just cannot be to careful.

You were not the only one flamed on that thread, trust me.
I think I am still a little singed here and there. But, I simply have to consider the source of the flamers.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine
That is SO AWFUL! My heart breaks for those children.
I don't give it a second look if a boy is in the girls room.

This reminded me of something that happened awhile ago, a couple of years perhaps.

A women was standing with her son around 8-9-10ish and he had to go to the bathroom. She was not going to allow her son to go into the mens room alone (don't blame her) and she wanted him to go in the womens. He was REFUSING! The mom knew he had to "go" but kept saying he didn't. I could see the kids embarrassment.
So what do I do? After all I just couldn't stand the thought of this poor kid dying to use the restroom.

I opened the mens room door, (after I was quite aware no one was going in or out, btw) went in check every nook and cranny told the mom to come her and look it was empty.
She thanked me and the boy was smiling. And then promptly used the facilities.

Now I am sure I will get flamed for this but I just couldn't stand the thought of that boy so uncomfortable.

who would flame you for doing something so nice?

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by twinmomplus2
I was on the other thread as well. I seem to remember some people suggesting they allowed the boys to go in alone at Disney. Because it could never happen there. I recall being flamed for saying it happpens everywhere. And it does!

Yes, you certainly were flamed, wonder where those flamers are now?
I sure wish the folks here had seen that thread, it would have made it a bit less "hot".

 

[FreshTressa]

Was that the boys using the men's locker room thread on the debate board???

Man, I had ACID thrown at me over there for saying I take my son with me in the bathroom/locker room.

And, boy am I glad I do!!

 

[jiminy579]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
Was that the boys using the men's locker room thread on the debate board???

No,
It was a pet-peeves thread on the theme park strategies board. VERY SAD responses from a bunch of <b>very angry </b>and generally unsympathetic people. I am more than thrilled that the response on this thread shows common sense prevails, and that the majority of parents put their children first no matter what others think.

 

[TIGGERSMOM]

Gail & 4greatboys - I was also flamed big time on that thread - called paranoid and told how sad I was because I was teaching my DS to be that way also. This is a very sad way to say "I told you so."


I was a single Mom until my DS was 8 so he came with me unless I was with a male friend. I also tood guard at men's room door when he refused as he got older to use womens room. I don't think I ever had any remarks, most people are reasonable.

Hope those who flamed and let the kids, one as young as 5 in restrooms by themselves will now give it another thought.

Mine made it out the other side. He's 19 so I let him use the men's room all by himself now.