Child-free, but not by choice?

[debbiet1]

The real reason they have to fix the ceiling is from her swinging from the chandelier.. oops wait.. thats talking about her sex life.. *GRIN* I hope everything works out for you and I'm glad you're close to her and she's a great kid. Sorry she has to go through all she is.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

The real reason they have to fix the ceiling is from her swinging from the chandelier.. oops wait.. thats talking about her sex life.. *GRIN* I hope everything works out for you and I'm glad you're close to her and she's a great kid. Sorry she has to go through all she is.

Ha ha ha , you are so funny . I sure hope everything works out alright and I made a promise to her mother that she would be taken care of and I feel like I have failed her. There were several years when we didn't even get to see her, because we didn't approved of her step-mother (that is a whole other story)

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, my cousin is at my mom's and you wouldn't believe what a difference a few days makes. She has done a 360, she is happy, cheerful, bright-eyed, and sweet as ever. Mom gave her my grandmother's bedroom for right now, they are going to swap when the estate is settled and my other cousin takes the bedroom suite that was left to her. Her father gave her a check for $125 for smashing her camera and she took the money and bought herself a bed in a bag and re-decorated her room. She has baked and cleaned, she loves to bake, but we told her she didn't have to clean, but she said she wanted to (she mainly cleaned her new bedroom).

A girl from DHR called my mom this morning and said that my cousin doesn't need to be with her, she needs to be in her own home, but her father can't treat her right, why would you put her back there. This girl is so stupid. The system is so messed up. My cousin came to me and my mom and said "you aren't going to make me go back are you?" I just about broke down into tears. I don't understand why when you have at least 3 adults telling the system that this child is being hurt by her father, no one will listen. What will it take, her funeral. We are going to take her to see the lady at the Juvenile court system tomorrow morning so she can tell them that she doens't want to go home. We will do whatever we can, whatever it takes. Why won't someone listen to us. I know there are teens out there that would do anything to get out of their parents home for whatever reason, but this child is not like that. You could tell a difference in her in just a few minutes after being brought to mom's house (soon to be mine).

If any of you can offer any recommendations, I would really appreciate it. I can't send her back to live in that h*llhole.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi everybody, I seem to be the only one around lately . Hope everyone is doing well

Well, we got the roof and ceiling fixed this weekend. I have gotten the pumps for the basement and the guy is coming back tomorrow to say they are okay. Hopefully, we will get this closing done by the end of the week . DH and I have been working in the backyard and it is about to finish me off. I am so tired, I could fall out right now. I wish I had a few more hands to help out, but you know neighbors don't help each other any more like they used to.

I have spent a small fortune Home Depot lately, it has become my new shopping craze. I go in there and I don't know when to quit, I even bought a huge jingle bell Christmas wreath, and I don't decorate for Christmas anymore. I might decorate a little bit since we have my cousin living with us. She is such a joy

Well, I have to get back to my shows, talk to you later.

 

[DisneyBride'03]

I just found this thread...

I just want to tell my story(short version ) to offer hope.

Dh and I got married 6/28/03.....during the next 3 years, I was usually pregnant, or recovering from a miscarriage. We had three..all boys...after the 12 week mark....I had to deliver Matthew....I was in the hospital for almost a week, because my DR. said "your body doesnt want to let go of the baby"...they tried everything.....sent me home and told me to have a container ready just in case...nothing happend...back to the hospital...I thought I would never recover. I did....
We gave up...got pregnant again...(dont have an issue w/that)...we were told to go home and prepare for another miscarriage #4...then was told the baby wouldnt make it to 20 weeks.....then was told baby would have DS or something else...no amnio this time....
Longest nine months.....then find out I had to have a c section cause she was measuring soo big......Ava Grace was born 6/28/06....Healthy at a whopping 10 lbs 12 oz!!

SO Please.......never give up...keep the faith and hope...God has a plan....I hope and pray for anyone and everyone who stops to read this thread.

 

[debbiet1]

Welcome Disney Bride... I told them the same thing, never give up hope because it'll turn around and surprise you.
Suzanne, I wish we were closer and we'd go give you a hand with everything. Hubby is great at doing renovations, he's renovating/renovated most of our house already and put on a 24 x 24 addition. Yardwork, HA! we're great at that and used to it. Our lawn is 3 acres alone. We live on just under 600 acres so we know what its all about. I LOVE Home Depot. I can be just as bad in there as Hubby can. lol.. Have a great week everyone!!

 

[hematite153]

Hi everybody, I seem to be the only one around lately . Hope everyone is doing well

Sorry about that Suzanne.

I've been reading but not posting for awhile now. I think I'm understanding nennie's earlier expressed need to get away from things emotionally for awhile.

We made the decision to go for IVF (as we near the 4 year mark without success using IUI). We went through a whole new round of work-up testing since they apparently cannot use the old tests since they were ordered for a different purpose. We did our referral appointment and discussed chances, risks, decisions, etc. (Apparently I have a 10% chance of minor ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome--yay! Gotta say, that one worries me, even though they said it was only a 1% chance of ending up in the hospital with it. I'm allergic to penicillin and a couple of years ago a doctor tried to give me an antibiotic with a cross-sensitivity. The pharmacist said, "it's only a 1% cross-sensitivity" and seemed to be shocked that I considered this worrisome. But, seriously, there are other drugs out there without the risk, so why would I take it? In this case, this risk is necessary for something that I really want, so I'll do it, but, I'm still worried.)

Now, we're waiting for them to call us. We have to wait.... Then, we have to attend a group information session. Then, I wait for my day 1 to start a 6 week protocol.

BUT...according to a new law, I'm not allowed to use any donor sperm after Dec. 1st, unless/until the sperm-bank gets new consent forms signed by the donor that address concerns within the new law. Do the math...it's not possible for me to get through this by Dec. 1st. So, at this point, I cannot even start until I know if the donor will/has signed the form. BUT, the government has stressed that it wants VERY SPECIFIC wording in this new form, BUT, they won't tell anybody what that wording is! So, the waiting could go on and on and on and on and on and on and (well, you get the idea)....

On the one hand, I'm trying to believe the stats that say I have a MUCH better chance of success with IVF than I did with IUI. On the other hand, I'm rather overwhelmingly depressed that nothing has worked so far and that we have new hoops to jump through. I've found that I'm afraid to hope anymore--it just hurts too much!

Thanks to everyone who has told such wonderful stories about their international adoptions. My lack of faith in our ability to conceive has had me reading about adoption over the last few months. Adoption is a huge mine-field in my family with a pile of adopted family members (some of who are in their 30s and 40s but don't know they are adopted--why, I ask, do I know, then?) and a pile of women who gave up children for adoption without telling anyone. But, I want to be a parent.

I get weepy about the stories of older children who need families, but, figure I could do more good as a foster parent. I've been reading about international adoptions and have discovered that most countries won't allow me to adopt--except that many places tell me I can probably take a healthy baby home from the hospital, after about a 1 year wait, if I adopt from the USA. (Which I find confusing given the number of international adoptions into the USA.)

Ah well, this has been long, gotta go!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Welcome Disney Bride... I told them the same thing, never give up hope because it'll turn around and surprise you.
Suzanne, I wish we were closer and we'd go give you a hand with everything. Hubby is great at doing renovations, he's renovating/renovated most of our house already and put on a 24 x 24 addition. Yardwork, HA! we're great at that and used to it. Our lawn is 3 acres alone. We live on just under 600 acres so we know what its all about. I LOVE Home Depot. I can be just as bad in there as Hubby can. lol.. Have a great week everyone!!

Thank you for the offer, that is so sweet of you. After a good nights sleep, I am a little calmer, and realize we will eventually get all of the work done. I was just so tired and worn out last night, I was running on empty and got carried away.

I wish DH could do some of the work that I want done to the house and between Home Depot and him we could do the little projects by ourselves and the supplies wouldn't cost much, but he is not handy around the house at all. I want to change out all of the lights and ceiling fans and DH doesn't know how to wire them. I might just try to figure it out. I want to put down some new flooring in parts of the house and DH can't do that. I'm not sure I am brave enough to tackle the floor by myself. I guess I need to finish the things I can do first, the other isn't going away anytime soon.

I have my fingers crossed that we close on Friday, if not definitely by the end of the month, so that will be one less stressor. Now to figure out where to put all my stuff until the probate is finished and moms siblings can get their stuff.

Sorry about that Suzanne.

I've been reading but not posting for awhile now. I think I'm understanding nennie's earlier expressed need to get away from things emotionally for awhile.

We made the decision to go for IVF (as we near the 4 year mark without success using IUI). We went through a whole new round of work-up testing since they apparently cannot use the old tests since they were ordered for a different purpose. We did our referral appointment and discussed chances, risks, decisions, etc. (Apparently I have a 10% chance of minor ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome--yay! Gotta say, that one worries me, even though they said it was only a 1% chance of ending up in the hospital with it. I'm allergic to penicillin and a couple of years ago a doctor tried to give me an antibiotic with a cross-sensitivity. The pharmacist said, "it's only a 1% cross-sensitivity" and seemed to be shocked that I considered this worrisome. But, seriously, there are other drugs out there without the risk, so why would I take it? In this case, this risk is necessary for something that I really want, so I'll do it, but, I'm still worried.)

Now, we're waiting for them to call us. We have to wait.... Then, we have to attend a group information session. Then, I wait for my day 1 to start a 6 week protocol.

BUT...according to a new law, I'm not allowed to use any donor sperm after Dec. 1st, unless/until the sperm-bank gets new consent forms signed by the donor that address concerns within the new law. Do the math...it's not possible for me to get through this by Dec. 1st. So, at this point, I cannot even start until I know if the donor will/has signed the form. BUT, the government has stressed that it wants VERY SPECIFIC wording in this new form, BUT, they won't tell anybody what that wording is! So, the waiting could go on and on and on and on and on and on and (well, you get the idea)....

On the one hand, I'm trying to believe the stats that say I have a MUCH better chance of success with IVF than I did with IUI. On the other hand, I'm rather overwhelmingly depressed that nothing has worked so far and that we have new hoops to jump through. I've found that I'm afraid to hope anymore--it just hurts too much!

Thanks to everyone who has told such wonderful stories about their international adoptions. My lack of faith in our ability to conceive has had me reading about adoption over the last few months. Adoption is a huge mine-field in my family with a pile of adopted family members (some of who are in their 30s and 40s but don't know they are adopted--why, I ask, do I know, then?) and a pile of women who gave up children for adoption without telling anyone. But, I want to be a parent.

I get weepy about the stories of older children who need families, but, figure I could do more good as a foster parent. I've been reading about international adoptions and have discovered that most countries won't allow me to adopt--except that many places tell me I can probably take a healthy baby home from the hospital, after about a 1 year wait, if I adopt from the USA. (Which I find confusing given the number of international adoptions into the USA.)

Ah well, this has been long, gotta go!

Oh I am so sorry . I can certainly understand why you haven't been around. What I don't understand is why every thing has to be so difficult.

If I had some extra spermies laying around I would send them to you, since I'm not using them That just isn't right, why should the government have a say in who or why someone needs sperm. I think if the donor give them to the clinic, they should be available to anyone, unless that person went to give them for someone specifically. I feel like you give up the right to them as soon as they hit the cup and the donor hands them in. I wish you great luck with this

I still don't know what I am going to do about considering adoption. I might give it some thought after we get through with all this estate mess, but I am just trying not to think about any of it right now. I just don't know what to do anymore, I want to be a mother, but I keep finding road blocks everywhere I turn.

I do however have my WDW trip to look forward to. I try when I get sad about life to think about my trip and go to that happy place

Talk to you all again soon.

 

[debbiet1]

Suzanne if you want to do a really easy flooring change.. get the laminate click flooring.. its easy to do. we've done most of the house in it as until the kids get older then i'll put real hardwood flooring down. They have it in tile also. I'm really lucky with DH he's great at stuff around the house. Like I said we've renovated most of the house as it was his grandparents and put a 24 x 24 addition on it. When we get back from Disney he's building our new kitchen cupboards too alll in pine.

 

[hematite153]

Thanks for the thought Suzanne. But, even if you had them, I still wouldn't be able to use them without having their original donor sign the non-existent form. Apparently, starting on Dec. 1st, if a husband and wife walk into the clinic, with an appointment for any sort of IF treatments, in order to use the sperm that the husband produces he will need to sign a form (the non-existent one) providing permission for that specific sperm to be used to impregnate his wife (even though he previously signed forms for the procedure, etc.).

Argh!

Oh well....

Good luck continuing with your house renovations. I'll second the recommendation to try laminate flooring. My Dad is not terribly handy but managed to lay a laminate floor at my grandmothers on the same afternoon he decided to try it. It made the room look a whole lot better than it ever had.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thanks for the thought Suzanne. But, even if you had them, I still wouldn't be able to use them without having their original donor sign the non-existent form. Apparently, starting on Dec. 1st, if a husband and wife walk into the clinic, with an appointment for any sort of IF treatments, in order to use the sperm that the husband produces he will need to sign a form (the non-existent one) providing permission for that specific sperm to be used to impregnate his wife (even though he previously signed forms for the procedure, etc.).

Argh!

Oh well....

Good luck continuing with your house renovations. I'll second the recommendation to try laminate flooring. My Dad is not terribly handy but managed to lay a laminate floor at my grandmothers on the same afternoon he decided to try it. It made the room look a whole lot better than it ever had.

DH had to do that when we did our IUI's. He had to do it for me to use his sperm and then he had to do it again giving an okay for me to use donor sperm.

I was thinking about trying Travertine on the floor, but will look into all that is avail when I get that far. My roof started leaking again today, so they have to do more work on that and the Appraisal lady was supposed to come sign off on the work tomorrow morning. I had to call her so we could change to hopefully Thursday, if not I don't know what to do. This is one time I wish it wasn't raining. Rain, rain go away, come back next week after I have passed inspection; come on now chant with me

 

[debbiet1]

chanting the rain rain go away song and doing the anti rain dance

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

chanting the rain rain go away song and doing the anti rain dance

Thank you, I hope it works. They fixed the roof and ceiling again and the Appraisor is coming first thing in the morning, so as long as it holds up until she leaves all will be well.

I found a Habitat for Humanity re-sale store here and they sell new to almost new items for home improvement. I think I am going to check them out to see what I can get to fix up my house. The items are supposed to be really cheap and for things like paint, they have to be new cans, so maybe I can get lucky. I really want to make this house my own now. I grew up there and I am really tired of the ugly paint the rooms were painted when I was about 10 and the carpet is kinda nasty, so it is going to have to go, but hopefully the hardwoods underneath it are in pretty good shape.

Well, I better get back to work.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

It's ours, it's finally ours . I have a house to call mine for real now. I could feel my granddaddy right there with me as I signed those papers making his home mine, I even got tears in my eyes. I feel like he is here with me right now and hugging me, I just really wish he could, so I could hug him back (it has been 28 years).

 

[debbiet1]

WOO HOOO CONGRATS!!! I'm so Happy for you! See the silver lining in the cloud IS there!

 

[aclov]

Suzanne:

Congrats on the house! I'm sure that's a big relief

I sometimes feel like I need to take a break and just remove myself from all the emotions. But it seems lately IVF or infertility has been poping it's head around. One of the girls I work with is going through IVF and you can see the hope and excitement she has. With this coming out, I told my boss that I had two IVF's and although he was very sympathic he said that he thought it ALWAYS worked, gosh - I WISH!

Now, it keeps bringing up kids, adoption, etc. The cost of adoption is so high, that I just can't do that right now. I just thank God for my faith because I honestly don't think I would make it sometimes.

I hope your all doing good, and for those reading and not posting "Hang in There!"

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey guys,

I don't know if any of you are out there tonight, but I really need some support. My DH came home tonight and told me that he was leaving me. He took off his ring and laid it down and left. He took off down the street and disappeared. I believe he might be at a neighbors house, but I am not sure. He left his keys, his cell phone, and the car. I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened.

Suzanne

 

[jjk1107]

Hi Suzanne,

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this on top of everything else. Has he given you any indication recently that something has been bothering him?

Janet

 

[want2bamommy]

Hey guys,

I don't know if any of you are out there tonight, but I really need some support. My DH came home tonight and told me that he was leaving me. He took off his ring and laid it down and left. He took off down the street and disappeared. I believe he might be at a neighbors house, but I am not sure. He left his keys, his cell phone, and the car. I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened.

Suzanne

Oh Suzanne! I am so incredibly sorry to hear that! I'm sorry that your DH didn't stay and talk about what he's feeling. That is pretty crappy because I can only imagine that you are sitting there wondering "what have I done?" It isn't fair to you.

Send me a private message if you want to talk more. HUGS!!!!

Missie

 

[livndisney]

Suzanne,

I'm sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.