Child-free, but not by choice?

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Thanks Princess Suzanne for getting back to me. I had figured IVF would cost between $10-15,000 a pop. I did do some research online, and I think the $30,000 is for the multiple times IVF, where you can keep trying until it works. That makes me feel a little bit better, because I have 3 offers from friends/family to carry the baby for me for free. So as soon as I can come up with some money to do it, I am doing it. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate you thinking about me! I hope your hand is getting better, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers!

 

[aclov]

Hi Mickey'sMainMami (and everyone else!) - I haven't posted here for a while either. After my second failed IVF, I just decided to remove myself and not think about it anymore. I also started a new job 2 months ago so I've been focusing on other things. Of course, this is something that is always in the back of my mind and I wonder what the future is going to hold for me. I'm open for adoption but DH is against it right now.. Our problem is unexplained, so even if we had someone carry the baby it could possibly be him and I know he wouldn't be open to that. So it's caused a big strain in our marriage and I've told him that I want to adopt in a couple of years with or without him. Also, the money factor is an issue since I had been off of work for so long we got behind on our bills and with DH being self employed that income is not always stable.

So to answer your question, we were lucky that our 2 IVF's were mostly covered by insurance with the exception of copays that we had to pay. The avg. is about 10k-15k. I think for both of mine it was about 20k including the drugs. Prior to having insurance we asked the dr. what the cost would be and he said about 7k (without drugs). There are dr's. that are willing to reduce that amount if the first time doesn't work. One of the other things I would recommend is to ask whatever clinic your going with for donated medicines. I still have some of mine left, which I've been hanging on too, it's hard to let go even that. But in the past, I gave some of my unused med's to my clinic. Injectibles are VERY expensive! You can also do a shared risk program which is more expensive but you would have multiple try's.

Just know that there are NO guarantees. I hate to sound like a party pooper but my dr. told me (lots of times) that I would get preg. and it didn't happen, we were scheduled to start a 3rd cycle but I needed to get back to work. Unfortunately, we are no longer covered by that insurance and my new insurance doesn't cover IVF. I've heard of women going through 10 or more IVF's and nothing. So you have to ask yourself at what point will you stop. I'm getting off track here.....so best of luck and keep us posted.

 

[aclov]

http://www.integramed.com/inmdweb/content/cons/shared.jsp
Shared Risk Program

https://www.integramed.com/inmdweb/content/cons/forms/loan/loan.jsp
Loan from Capital One

Here is some info on payment for IVF.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thanks Princess Suzanne for getting back to me. I had figured IVF would cost between $10-15,000 a pop. I did do some research online, and I think the $30,000 is for the multiple times IVF, where you can keep trying until it works. That makes me feel a little bit better, because I have 3 offers from friends/family to carry the baby for me for free. So as soon as I can come up with some money to do it, I am doing it. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate you thinking about me! I hope your hand is getting better, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers!

What great friends you have. I wish I had some like that, but then again we couldn't afford that either, so well I don't know.

My hand is pretty much back to normal, and I will keep everyone here in my prayers.

Have a great day, will check in later.

Suzanne

 

[R Dog Walt]

Okay, I am officially insulted, I don't think you even read my post. LOL. I am so glad things are looking up for you, you deserve this so much. Please keep us posted.

Suzanne

Oh, Suzanne!

I totally didn't mean to diss you on the DISboards! Glad your hand is doing better.

Mickey'sMainMami- The girls have given you some good info. about the costs of IVF. I think the cost of IVF also depends on where you are located in the U.S. and also varies from clinic to clinic.

My first IVF cost $7000 + the anesthesia + the ICSI + the drugs. We ended up paying $9850 for the cycle because we were fortunate enough to have our drugs donated to us by a friend of a friend so we didn't have to pay for our Follistim. I'm pretty sure it would have cost about $800 for injectables (but my insurance does pay for part of the drugs). I have heard like aclov was saying that many clinics will provide donated drugs if you ask.

aclov- I'm sorry that your cycles haven't worked out. The pain and frustration of IF is horrible. It sounds like your new job is a good distraction. I hope that your DH comes on board for adoption if you decide that's what you really want to do.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Oh, Suzanne!

I totally didn't mean to diss you on the DISboards! Glad your hand is doing better.

Mickey'sMainMami- The girls have given you some good info. about the costs of IVF. I think the cost of IVF also depends on where you are located in the U.S. and also varies from clinic to clinic.

My first IVF cost $7000 + the anesthesia + the ICSI + the drugs. We ended up paying $9850 for the cycle because we were fortunate enough to have our drugs donated to us by a friend of a friend so we didn't have to pay for our Follistim. I'm pretty sure it would have cost about $800 for injectables (but my insurance does pay for part of the drugs). I have heard like aclov was saying that many clinics will provide donated drugs if you ask.

aclov- I'm sorry that your cycles haven't worked out. The pain and frustration of IF is horrible. It sounds like your new job is a good distraction. I hope that your DH comes on board for adoption if you decide that's what you really want to do.

All is right with the world now . Hope you are doing great.

I am all excited, I just upgraded my DH's Birthday trip from AS Sports to POR King room and saved $82 . This will be our first time in a Moderate, I am so looking forward to it, we leave in 55 days.

Well I have to get back to work now, I just wanted to share my good news.

Suzanne

 

[DznyLvr2005]

with all the women on this topic.My story is kinda different.We'd been pregnant 5 times before we had our now 61/2 yr daughter.I have no problem getting pregnant.My problem is holding on to the baby,I don't know which is worse,we could discuss it back and forth look at the pros and cons but the underlining fact is we still hadn't got a baby.

Finally the docs come up with a solution,I must inject myself twice a day every day during the pregnacy with Heprin(blood thining) and take asprin.So finally on my 6th pregnancy it works.Believe me we were sooo overjoyed to have our little girl.We tried 1 more time when she was 2 yrs old and sadly it didn't work.I felt at that stage I couldn't take any more I was nearly hitting 40 and I was soo grateful to have our daughter.

Prior to her birth we had been to Disney 4 times and have bought our daughter 4 times and are going back again next year.Of course we have the advantage of having a child with us,but I know if we never had had her we'd still be going to disney,because as you all know Disney rocks!!!

Good luck to you all out there and beleive me miracles do happen,look at me

Didn't they test you after your 2nd or 3rd miscarriage for the blood thinning thing??
I feel so bad that you had to go through that so many times. I went through it twice and after the 2nd, I had so many tests to see what's wrong.. .so far the only think they can figure is that I have elevated prolactin. I don't plan to get preg. until I go to the RE (and after my Sept Disney trip)

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Do you still have to take the drugs even if you never had a problem getting pregnant when you are doing IVF? See, 3 people offered to carry for me, and they all have healthy kids, and never had problems gettting or staying pregnant. Is the medicine for people who haven't had any success getting pregnant and are trying IVF? If so, maybe it will be cheaper since they won't need to take medicine or is the medicine something they give to everyone no matter what? As you can see IVF is a new thing for me, so just trying to find out as much as I can before we go. Thanks.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

PrincessSuzanne,
You are soooo lucky to be leaving in 55 days, I was a little disappointed, because I thought maybe we were going to be there at the same time and staying at the same place, but sadly no. We are leaving in 77 days. I hope you have a wonderful time!

 

[aclov]

Do you still have to take the drugs even if you never had a problem getting pregnant when you are doing IVF? See, 3 people offered to carry for me, and they all have healthy kids, and never had problems gettting or staying pregnant. Is the medicine for people who haven't had any success getting pregnant and are trying IVF? If so, maybe it will be cheaper since they won't need to take medicine or is the medicine something they give to everyone no matter what? As you can see IVF is a new thing for me, so just trying to find out as much as I can before we go. Thanks.

Actually I don't believe they would unless they don't get pregnant at first. I would think the RE would advise on that. Since I was the one doing IVF I did the drugs. Wow, you had 3 people offer to do this for you, that's so nice of them!

 

[aclov]

I saw there was some discussion about DVC and just to chime in, I really enjoy my purchase. I have been able to go probably more times to WDW than I would have if I didn't have it and I've also visited DL, Disney Cruise and Hawaii. I did sell one of my contracts earlier this year. My main heartbreak was that I had purchased (in 1999) primarily to take my children which unfortunately hasn't happened. I enjoy Disney but DH really doesn't, he only goes because he has a good friend in Orlando. He won't go to the parks anymore, but I can drag him to at least Epcot. I've rented out my points if I can't go so at least there's no loss there. The dining plan is great.

I would also recommend looking into a resale although you do have to get your own financing. I think the process is easier with Disney. Definately take the tour.

 

[R Dog Walt]

All is right with the world now . Hope you are doing great.

I am all excited, I just upgraded my DH's Birthday trip from AS Sports to POR King room and saved $82 . This will be our first time in a Moderate, I am so looking forward to it, we leave in 55 days.

Well I have to get back to work now, I just wanted to share my good news.

Suzanne

Suzanne- We just stayed at POR for one night in June. We had never stayed there before. It was a lovely resort! You'll have a blast! And saving $82! Woo hoo!

 

[R Dog Walt]

Do you still have to take the drugs even if you never had a problem getting pregnant when you are doing IVF? See, 3 people offered to carry for me, and they all have healthy kids, and never had problems gettting or staying pregnant. Is the medicine for people who haven't had any success getting pregnant and are trying IVF? If so, maybe it will be cheaper since they won't need to take medicine or is the medicine something they give to everyone no matter what? As you can see IVF is a new thing for me, so just trying to find out as much as I can before we go. Thanks.

I'm assuming if one of your friends is a gestational surrogate for you that you will still be doing IVF to provide the YOUR eggs. Right? My guess is that they will probably still put you on medications. However, you will likely be on lower doses because chances are given your history (and thus it will cost less money). The idea with IVF is to produce lots of follicles (hence the drugs which have FSH-follicle stimulating hormone- in them) to give you a better chance of producing more quality eggs. Not all follicles that you'll have in your ultrasounds will produce eggs. And not all of the eggs you produce will fertilize either even if you are fertile myrtle. Then, not all of the embryos that will fertilize will make it. Some embryos arrest. After either 3 days or 5 days depending on your clinic, they will transfer the embryos (usually 2-3). Then, they will freeze any embryos that still look good. Now, when I first started this process I thought there would be lots to freeze (like 8 or more). But what I've found out is most women only have 1-3 freeze (especially if you are doing a 5 day transfer). Some women don't have any left. My embryos didn't even make it to transfer.

So here's how it kinda works with a GOOD cycle: Let's say you have 15 follicles. Maybe you get 12 eggs out of this. Let's say you have a high fertilization rate- 75%. This is 8 eggs that fertilize. Let's say that you have a 3 day transfer and you still have 6 embryos in the running (2 puttered out along the way- very common). They transfer 2 and you have 4 left to freeze for a subsequent cycle or for siblings. Again, this would be what might happen in a very good successful cycle.

Some RE's will do an IVF cycle using Clomid (often called Mini-IVF). It's a newer technique. The goal with this type of cycle is to produce 1-2 quality eggs. My problem with this is that if you're going to do this, there are so many things that can go wrong in any cycle even with egg donors, that 1-2 eggs just may not be enough. With all the time, energy, heart, and soul that goes into this, it might as well be worth it. KWIM? Yes, the drugs are expensive, but many RE's offices do donate meds. I also know that some people sell their leftovers on sites like Free Garage Sale.com for the price of shipping (not legal, but...)

Now if your friends that have offered to carry were to also provide the egg, you could certainly do an insemination and that would involve no IVF and maybe no drugs.

So there's my 2 cents. Please ask any questions that you need to ask!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

PrincessSuzanne,
You are soooo lucky to be leaving in 55 days, I was a little disappointed, because I thought maybe we were going to be there at the same time and staying at the same place, but sadly no. We are leaving in 77 days. I hope you have a wonderful time!

Wouldn't that have been just awesome. I am looking forward to it. DH and I haven't been anywhere by ourselves in awhile, so I hope it works out well. when we are in WDW he likes to take off and go his own way and I don't like to be left by myself, that is why I take mom with me. Since this was his birthday trip, I decided to leave mom at home, besides she said that she has traveled too much this year already, with 2 trips to WDW already in the last 6 months.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I saw there was some discussion about DVC and just to chime in, I really enjoy my purchase. I have been able to go probably more times to WDW than I would have if I didn't have it and I've also visited DL, Disney Cruise and Hawaii. I did sell one of my contracts earlier this year. My main heartbreak was that I had purchased (in 1999) primarily to take my children which unfortunately hasn't happened. I enjoy Disney but DH really doesn't, he only goes because he has a good friend in Orlando. He won't go to the parks anymore, but I can drag him to at least Epcot. I've rented out my points if I can't go so at least there's no loss there. The dining plan is great.

I would also recommend looking into a resale although you do have to get your own financing. I think the process is easier with Disney. Definately take the tour.

DVC is never far from my mind, but this isn't a great time for me. My DH loves to go to WDW as much as I do (Nobody likes to go quite as much as I do, though). Maybe in a few years we can buy into DVC. I might think about taking the tour.

Thanks for all the info.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne- We just stayed at POR for one night in June. We had never stayed there before. It was a lovely resort! You'll have a blast! And saving $82! Woo hoo!

I am really looking forward to it. I wasn't sure which moderate was a good choice, but the CM said that was all he had when I called, well that I could afford. I really wanted to stay at the Contemporary, but the room was more than $300/night and we just can't afford that, well I just won't pay that.
The pictures I have seen of POR remind me of the Historic homes here in Alabama and Georgia, so it will most likely feel like home.

I am cheap, I hardly ever pay full price for anything

Suzanne

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Has anyone ever had a corpus Luteum cyst on the ovary??
I think that's what screwed up my AF this month. 3 weeks ago I had throbbing pain on my left ov. (Ovulation time, though I NEVER get OV pains) than a few days ago, same thing, throbby ovary pain... AF was late and just different.. I think it had something to do with this stupid cyst.
I know I wasn't/am pregnant, because that would literlaly be impossible. Since my miscarriages, I'm just "not up" to anything!! I'm a total mess/disaster... ANYWAY....
I just had a super wierd AF...cramps, lots of clots, sore bbs and very bright red af, temp took a while to go down and still didn't go down all the way.. TMI, but had to explain! CL cysts produce progesterone, hence the temps that take forever to go back down.
So I'm wondering if any else ever had one of these things?
I havent gone to the MD since I'm going on vacation on Monday to Maine for the week.
I have my RE appt on July 11th and am going to ask him some questions about this.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Has anyone ever had a corpus Luteum cyst on the ovary??
I think that's what screwed up my AF this month. 3 weeks ago I had throbbing pain on my left ov. (Ovulation time, though I NEVER get OV pains) than a few days ago, same thing, throbby ovary pain... AF was late and just different.. I think it had something to do with this stupid cyst.
I know I wasn't/am pregnant, because that would literlaly be impossible. Since my miscarriages, I'm just "not up" to anything!! I'm a total mess/disaster... ANYWAY....
I just had a super wierd AF...cramps, lots of clots, sore bbs and very bright red af, temp took a while to go down and still didn't go down all the way.. TMI, but had to explain! CL cysts produce progesterone, hence the temps that take forever to go back down.
So I'm wondering if any else ever had one of these things?
I havent gone to the MD since I'm going on vacation on Monday to Maine for the week.
I have my RE appt on July 11th and am going to ask him some questions about this.

No, I haven't heard of them, I did have a cyst when after my first IUI, but they only called it a cyst. I have sortof been diagnosed with PCOS, so cysts go with that, maybe this is a first sign of PCOS for you?

Definitely talk to your doctor, there are so many things they can do for us these days.

Have fun in Maine. My best friend at work is from Maine.

Suzanne

 

[DznyLvr2005]

No, I haven't heard of them, I did have a cyst when after my first IUI, but they only called it a cyst. I have sortof been diagnosed with PCOS, so cysts go with that, maybe this is a first sign of PCOS for you?

Definitely talk to your doctor, there are so many things they can do for us these days.

Have fun in Maine. My best friend at work is from Maine.

Suzanne

Thanks, Maine will be quite relaxing!

 

[hematite153]

Greetings all!

Sorry I don't have time for a thorough response but I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed reading through all of your posts from the past two weeks.

R Dog Walt: Congratulations! (fingers crossed)

PrincessSuzanne: Sorry to hear about your hand--hope it's getting better. Now we are really going to be ships passing in the day since I'm also staying at POR.

want2bamommy: congrats on the appt and the clomid. Good luck!

aclov & Mickey'sMainMami: good to see you back. I wish you both luck with your respective adoption and surrogacy attempts/plans. (btw, I agree with R Dog Walt. I think it would be best to use the follicle stimulating drugs in order to get more eggs. Yes, it raises the initial costs but I think the increased costs are still far lower than the cost of another full cycle if the first implantation doesn't work and freezing any extra embryos would give you more tries.)

Everyone else...sorry to pop in and fly but I gotta run. Thanks for sharing your stories!