Hello my sisters, do I have things to tell you about last night.......
The day started out just like any other 4th of July...out back talking with neighbors at the fence...where we discuss who, what , when, and where...
Every year this neighborhood likes to blast all the illegal fireworks you can get a persons hand on..and we have not really had any problems because its a street party....
We were all kinda miffed because it was rainy and to chilly to get in the pool...blah, blah, blah.....So I decided that it might be fun that night to head up the road and get caught up in the mess to watch the fireworks in town and then watch them from home since this year (I am sad to say) we did not set off our usual amount of fireworks because DH had to work and wasn't getting home till 10:30...no biggie right???
WRONG
Until firework time my MIL wanted my DD to help clean her basement with the promise of a shiny new Ipod she pulled out of her purse she had purchased that morning...Ahhhh....what a payment you say....so true....but it was also hush money..
Since my SIL is the worlds worst pack rat and still lives at home everything she has ever owned since birth is stacked in the basement for the ONE DAY I WILL MOVE OUT dream...(Yeah, ok) and in her bedroom..if you have any imagination when I say her room is so bad you can't open the door all the way..you can get it to a 45 degree angle and that is it..then you dive to the bed that has a space big enough for a body...(she is 28-28 I can't remember this second)
Anyway my MIL has had it with it in the basement...so she employed my DD to help organize , throw trash, and be the look out...She had a good thing going until my MIL (who is the worlds worst liar) decided to call my SIL and get a location and an estimate of how long she would be gone...DING,,,DING,,,DING
When MIL called SIL she first ask where are you and when will you be home..sounds ok...then she was "oh,,,ummm I was just wondering I was thinking I may order some pizza and *****(DD)*** and Gina are here...(great involve the delivery person...all I did was show up to drop off DD so that she could bribe my kid)....she then says oh maybe we will just go to the mall...while my DD screams from across the room....WHAT ABOUT THIS BOX GRANDMA.... MIL quickly hangs up the phone and picks it back up and calls her 10 seconds later
"uh listen we are not doing pizza we are going to drop the kid off and go to the casino"....
yea ok....anyone who knows me knows I don't miss my street party...DING DING I look at my MIL and ask..where is she..she tells me ..oh well if I were you I would just put up these items here and call it a night because you just gave yourself up and she will be here in 30 mins...
30 mins later guess who arrives and comes swooping in straight to the basement....
DUH...the fight was on....I am trying to break up the fight and I finally just yell at them..."Ya know what...kill each other...I don't care....you are making me late for my parties and I have to get ready"...they stop for a second look at me as if HOW DARE YOU...and I look back and say "YOU HEARD ME GO AHEAD JUST DO IT"
I tell my DD to get her things its time to go that I don't want for us to witness this...they continue on with the fight....
SOOOOOOOOOOO, on to town we go....We barely make it...and I was able to pull over in a parking spot that looked to be saved just for me....we watch and head home for the rest of the block party....
Now let me tell you I am all for big BOOMS on the 4th of July....and so are my neighbors....we all line up our chairs out front and drag our cooler of adult beverages with us...life is good....
WE FORGOT ABOUT THE NEW HILLBILLIES THAT MOVED IN A FEW MONTHS AGO 5 HOUSES DOWN...
The hillbillies had the music up so loud that we all turned ours off...and it was ok , heck save on our electric...they were playing our music so why not...they have people running all over their home...5 year olds playing with matches and bottle rockets, roman candles and firecrackers...(I AM NOT KIDDING....2 OF THE KIDS ARE 5).....
The 5 year olds are shooting them at each other, sending them up the sidewalk at us....we had a row of chairs on my part of sidewalk and driveway and all our mouths were open.....it would have taken a dozer to collect them..
A min or two later we hear "mamma (please use ky lingo when saying that it just sounds better) he is trying to shoot that stick at me.....we all look down again to see who is doing what....out comes big mamma...we are hoping mamma is going to give someone a one two, nope its "if you don't knock it off I am gonna take yurs and give them to yur brother"..OK
again we are all...OMG...and thats with beer in us.......
So we are all sitting in my driveway and its you gonna call, no I am not gonna call I did it last weekend and they know I did and now when they drive by I get the hand salute...I'm not going to call...why don't you call Gina..its your house we are all at....oh, ok ,,,,sure I will,,,,like I want my house egged tonight....besides the LAST 3 TIMES I CALLED THEY SAID WE WERE ALL LIARS...(they must have a scanner going because they always quit when we call the cops and resume when they leave )
I sit and think how can we get the police here without them knowing...at that point those big cannon shots came at us...we all jump....thats it, now I am ticked.....what can I do....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....think, think, think,,,,while I am cleaning my scraped knee from jumping out of the way and falling....(which down the street thought was funny,,,,)
I know, I will go across main road, there is a cop that lives there..so I do...he isn't home...I can't drive I have been drinking so now what...while I was gone my neighbors are getting out their hoses (hey, they are semi thinking)....thats when it happened...
I sit back down and tell everyone that the cop isn't home and now what....we are talking and watching the fireworks...they go on here until around 1-2 am....its big here....(come on its Ky...we don't know anybetter remember...fire...illegal fireworks....beer....) the kids walk part way up the street and start shooting fireworks AT US....at this point I am so mad that I am thinking if I wasn't afraid of serving time I would roll that older kid in plastic and dump him on 75.....but....(think I will get points for that...I may have to edit that).....they are hitting my house, and I am ready to lose my mind....
Thats when the men of our group went and got hoses put together to make 300 ft.of hose and walked down and waited on the kids to come back with more....
Everytime those kids came at us they would squirt their fireworks and ruin them....people don't make the parents of a hillbilly mad...its not pretty...
MAMMA , MAMMA, THAT MAN IS SQUIRTING OUR FIREWORKS...
Every hick at their house came running out front...we were in our driveway...laughing because we know its now a show down.......
Fireworks are shooting, hoses are squirting and words are flying....AND I AM DYING.....ahhhh,,,I see a way to get the cops here, I pick up my neighbors cell phone and call the cops,,,,he is down the road with his hose...(I wasn't using my phone..duh...911 calls are public record I think)
I call the police...they don't know because all the idiots are are outside...they couldn't hear a scanner....at this point people from the other street that go to their back yards to watch are hopping the fence just incase we need some muscle ya know....(mental note...turn on security cameras tonight...yes I have them on my cars....seems as though a few years ago someone thought it would be funny to keep egging my cars so we put them up to record and catch the punk....)
The police come,,,,and it was a free for all....because he didn't SEE the fireworks being shot at us he couldn't do anything and the hillbillies wanted my neighbor arrested for assult...yes from the water hose...At that second I am dying.....when I heard that it was something....are you kidding me...good thing the police are sick of going to that house....he came up to us...and I am laughing so hard I am crying...I have gone pee in my pants I was laughing so hard....he is like I tell you what....look,,,I know everyone back here has these fireworks....I don't care ....but don't let me see you shooting them...I will be back here in 15 mins to check on all of you....THANKS FOR THE WARNING.....so he leaves we are all cracking up
15 mins go by ... the dad that lives in the hillbilly house decides he is going to hop on his mower and drive up and down the street to tick us all off...
NEVER FEAR THE COPS ARE HERE...He was arrested for a DUI....
I am not sure but a few neighbors are going to the owner of the house to tell them that her renters are damaging this and that ... I doubt they do anything for them but it was a night...
HOW WAS YOURS
I beat my bf's score! I got 284,100!! Woot! The only bad part was that our picture didn't come out 
