Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for? (comments welcome)

Yay, maybe our husbands can hang out together! 🤣 Although mine will probably kill me for suggesting that he hang out with a stranger just because I know his wife.
They will be in the Boneyard until I text him I’m on my way. 🤣 My son FINALLY got to the right age for the ā€œdinosaur playgroundā€ right as they’re about to get rid of it. 😭
 
Weekly Summary
Nov 18 - 24
How is it already the end of November?

Mon - off

Tues - 4.5 easy
4.5 miles in 1:16
avg pace 16:56

Wed - off
PT evaluation

Thurs - 5 Tempo
5 miles in 1:18
avg pace 15:39

Fri - 2.5 easy
2.5 miles in 41:55
avg pace 16:44
Cold and windy.

Sat - 4.5 easy
4.5 miles in 1:16:38
avg pace 17:01
My desire to go run drops dramatically when the temps go below 50

Sun - 9 easy
9 miles in 2:31:22
avg pace 16:49

Nutrition Strategy Test -
This week I tried the Maurten 320 drink mix the night before my 9 mile run, thinking it's something I might want to use for carb loading marathon weekend. It had the usual sugary Maurten taste and I felt very full trying to drink it after dinner, but my stomach didn't object.

The next morning I tried the UCan Energy Powder before my run. You're supposed to drink it 30 min before you start and I didn't leave quite enough time for that so I had a little trouble wanting to take the first fuel for my run but I think if I give it a little more time it will be fine.

During my run I used Ucan gels and saltstik chews. My goals are 40-60g carbs/hr, 200 - 300 mg sodium, and over 100 potassium. With 7 Ucan gels and 14 saltstik chews I hit 58.8g carb/hr, 280 sodium, and 210 potassium, so that was pretty perfect. Other than the first gel which I delayed a bit because my pre-run drink was still settling in, I mostly hit my goal of fueling every 20 min (I did the gels every 20 min and just chewed on the saltstiks in between).

Keeping in mind that I don't want to use more than 11 Ucan gels in any run, because of the vitamin C, I think 2.5 - 3 hours of Ucan is doable, then move on to something else.

After my run I tried the Tailwind Recovery Mix in chocolate. One serving has 11 g protein, 43g carbs, 440 mg sodium, 438 mg potassium, plus magnesium, calcium, iron, and a little fat. It was definitely easier to drink than my normal protein shake, and it came in a tube that would be easy to throw in a gearcheck bag. I do need to try this one again, though, because something upset my stomach later that night. I'm thinking it was probably the sauce on the bok choy I got with our Chinese takeout because I'm vegetarian and sometimes meat-based stocks sneak into sauces and that'll cause problems for me. So I will definitely have to try the recovery mix again on a day when all of my other food is known to be issue-free.

----------------------


I talked to DopeyBadger about my PT's suggestion that I increase my pace to help with the knee pain because he wrote this plan for me (and my previous two plans). Knowing that my first goal is to make it to the starting line in good shape, I asked if maybe walking my easy pace miles would be a better idea and he said he was fine with that as long as it's a normal walk and not some sort of new speed walking form I have to do to hit the pace. I'm a decently fast walker normally, so I gave that a try this week and found it to be pretty easy to accomplish, with no pain during or after, so that's a win!

I also noticed this week that my 9 miles felt so much better than the 4.5 the day before. The weather was better, so that helped a lot. I also got more sleep the night before, and my fuel test for this week was pre-run supplementation, so that probably helped a lot too. But it made me think about something I read in the book "How Bad Do You Want It?" It's all about the mental side of athletic performance and one chapter is all about how your expectations really affect your outcomes.

I know in Kung Fu our teacher would have us start doing kicks. We usually do a series on one side, then switch to the other side. My other side was always better because by then I knew how many and what kind of kicks we were going to be doing.

I have noticed this with running too. When I get to the end of a race, I am done. Doesn't matter if it's a 10k or a half marathon. I know what the distance is and so I'm just mentally prepared to do that distance and no more. This gives me hope for the marathon because previously I'd come to the end of a half and think "there's no way I can do that twice!" But it's because I was only mentally prepared to do it once.

Totals for the week
Running: 25.5
Walking: 9.35

Pic for the week. There's a restaurant here that does really over the top decorations for Christmas. It was my late grandfather-in-law's favorite restaurant and his birthday was in late November so we've made it a family tradition to visit around this time every year as a way to remember him.

This picture is just silly, though. My older son was popping his head in and out of frame while the younger one was trying to cover him up. I managed to snag one decent photo with both of them in it but I was laughing at their antics. Teens are fun, I tell ya. They really are.

IMG_ABE85D4B6C73-1.jpeg
 
But it made me think about something I read in the book "How Bad Do You Want It?" It's all about the mental side of athletic performance and one chapter is all about how your expectations really affect your outcomes.

Here's a very recent podcast with Samuele Marcora, a main proponent of the Psychobiological Model of Endurance based on the Motivational Intensity Theory. Some of the book by Fitzgerald is based on Marcora's research about how your motivation during the run can affect your perception of effort and decision making.

 
November Summary

Running: 89.25
Walking: 42.66

I had one optional skip day on my training plan (Thanksgiving) and I took it. That was the only run I missed in November.

I need to do summaries for the past two weeks. Things are going well overall. Still going to PT once a week but my knee feels fine now! Yay!



Oh and here's my Spotify top 5 songs of the year. This definitely paints a picture!

1&2 are my warm up songs
3 is the metronome I use for speed work
4 is my cool down song
5 is my favorite running song

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Here's a very recent podcast with Samuele Marcora,
I finally got the chance to listen to this and wanted to make some notes here so I can remember them.

One thing that I thought was interesting was that negativity from coaches can affect the athlete's perception of effort, but that positivity doesn't always make the effort feel easier. I think this is why I'm glad to have stopped Kung Fu. In general it was a positive space, but there were definitely times where things became negative for me and, in a sport that was already really hard for me, this just made things even harder.

Also the podcast mentioned that cognitive load can affect perceived fatigue. So I need to be working on my mantras or whatever I'm going to use now, not just try to use them during a race because if they're not habit already all that thinking will just make things harder. Also totally justifying my plan to put each hour's fuel in its own baggie so I don't have to try to remember what I planned on taking when.

And finally, there was a bit about how the best way to reduce perception of effort is to train. Not just because being physically fitter makes things easier but also because you mentally know you can do it. My 8 mile tempo runs are not a huge deal now, when I was agonizing over shorter ones a few months ago. I think this is also why the Galloway method has people go the entire race distance in training, no matter how long it takes or how slow you have to go. There's the mental boost to knowing that you've already done the mileage once, you can do it again on race day. Following that plan left me injured before, so I'm not looking to go walk 26.2 miles right now, but I can see how it would help me feel better to know that I've done it once already.
 
Very Un-Detailed Summary
Nov 25 - Dec 8

Gotta just get something up here for these weeks! I'm not adding specifics for each run but I hit my paces as planned. A previously dead end street in my neighborhood has just been opened up to connect to another neighborhood so I'm enjoying some new scenery lately!

Monday Nov 25 - off

Tuesday Nov 26 - 2.5 Easy
- Got catcalled for the first time in decades, so that was interesting.

Wednesday Nov 27 - off

Thursday Nov 28 - 2.5 easy, optional skip day
- I had every intention of not skipping but it was thunder storming in the morning, then the holiday stuff started and I didn't get it done. The only run I missed all month.

Friday Nov 29 - 8 miles M Tempo w/nutrition strategy
- Some family drama on Thanksgiving was still lingering in my mind so I was super grumpy for this run even though it was a beautiful day. Nutrition strategy today was my old favorite, the UCan gels.
- Notes say that I ended this run with a weird muscle clenching feeling under my knees. Not painful, and it went away when I stopped and wasn't sore the next day. Probably bad form due to my grumpy running.

Saturday Nov 30 - 2.5 easy

Sunday Dec 1 - 3.5 easy
- Treadmill
It became ridiculously cold here for no good reason. I'm still clinging to the hope that I can keep some of my heat adaptations, plus I just really hate running outside in the cold, so onto the treadmill I went. I've started watching Only Murders in the Building.

Monday Dec 2 - off

Tuesday Dec 3 - 5 easy
- Treadmill

Wednesday Dec 4 - off

Thursday Dec 5 - 1 mile easy + 4 miles M Tempo + 0.5 mile easy
- I love these because I put the total mileage on my calendar then I'm pleasantly surprised when I check my plan and see that some of the miles are easy. It's the little things.

Friday Dec 6 - 2.5 easy
- Treadmill

Saturday Dec 7 - 5 easy
- Treadmill

Sunday Dec 8 - 10 easy w/ nutrition strategy
- Run was totally fine. The nutrition strategy was not. This was a 3 hour run, so for hours 1 and 3 I used my UCan gels. For hour 2 I tried out dates with salt. 1.5 oz of dates = 31g carb and 270 mg potassium. My food scale said 1.5 oz = 6 dates. I cut them open and sprinkled salt inside to make up for the missing sodium and put them in a baggie, ready to go.

They tasted fantastic! Not to sticky, easy to eat, the salt was perfect. After the first one my stomach objected slightly, but like a dummy I went ahead and ate all 6. Maybe I didn't drink enough water with them, maybe it was the fiber that my stomach isn't used to while running, but the rest of my evening was unpleasant. It reminded me of how I felt after my first half when I made some questionable nutrition choices. Of course my family couldn't help making the Indiana Jones "bad dates" joke.

Real food isn't completely off the table but I don't have a lot of time before Marathon weekend and I still need to test out a couple more new things then fine tune my strategy so I'll have to revisit the dates at... a later date. 🄁

Pic for the week: My marathon outfit is coming together nicely. Do not ask about the others. I really need to get started!

IMG_42F9D0B600E9-1.jpeg
 
One thing that I thought was interesting was that negativity from coaches can affect the athlete's perception of effort

Not sure if it was mentioned in this video or not, but it's not exclusive to coaches either. If you yourself allow negative thoughts, then perception of effort increases. So only having done X miles, and then questioning whether you can do Y miles to the finish typically leads to negative thoughts. Or similarly, you miss taking a nutrition, or your went out too fast, these things can all lead to negative thoughts. I always say, leave the planning before the race, and then whatever happens happens. Stay positive. Any choice you make during the race is the right one during the race. After the race is the time to reevaluate the choices and make changes for the next time.

Also the podcast mentioned that cognitive load can affect perceived fatigue. So I need to be working on my mantras or whatever I'm going to use now, not just try to use them during a race because if they're not habit already all that thinking will just make things harder. Also totally justifying my plan to put each hour's fuel in its own baggie so I don't have to try to remember what I planned on taking when.

And not exclusive to just those in race mantras or decisions. If you've got a lot going on mentally about other things in life, that can also increase perception of effort. There was a study about test taking prior to the run, and those given a mentally challenging task performed worse at the physical challenge even though neither mental task was physically challenging in any way. That's why some say the race is almost all mental once you've done the appropriate training. Physically, you'll be ready. It's the mental side that will dictate how things will go.


And finally, there was a bit about how the best way to reduce perception of effort is to train. Not just because being physically fitter makes things easier but also because you mentally know you can do it. My 8 mile tempo runs are not a huge deal now, when I was agonizing over shorter ones a few months ago. I think this is also why the Galloway method has people go the entire race distance in training, no matter how long it takes or how slow you have to go. There's the mental boost to knowing that you've already done the mileage once, you can do it again on race day. Following that plan left me injured before, so I'm not looking to go walk 26.2 miles right now, but I can see how it would help me feel better to know that I've done it once already.

For this one it's important to keep in mind that many many many people before you have done it under similar circumstances. So you're not blazing a completely new path never done before. So while doing the distance in training can add to the confidence of it being a doable task, know that others have also not done the full distance in training and been successful at the same level of fitness as yourself. Additionally realizing that 8 miles of tempo in the middle of training is not like 8 miles of racing after an appropriate taper. If the taper is well designed, you're likely to feel absolutely amazing for the first 8 miles of the race. Unlike the 8 mile training run. Just don't fall into the trap of suddenly thinking you're better than you are and being overly aggressive with race day pace. Stick to the plan.
 
And not exclusive to just those in race mantras or decisions. If you've got a lot going on mentally about other things in life, that can also increase perception of effort. There was a study about test taking prior to the run, and those given a mentally challenging task performed worse at the physical challenge even though neither mental task was physically challenging in any way. That's why some say the race is almost all mental once you've done the appropriate training. Physically, you'll be ready. It's the mental side that will dictate how things will go.
This is probably why I have not been feeling great during my runs lately. I've been dealing with a lot of stress relating to my mom's health and me being the only caregiver. Running is my stress relief, and I know I'd be way more stressed without it, but it's rough when you have so many other things on your mind.
 
Physically, you'll be ready. It's the mental side that will dictate how things will go.
I definitely feel this! I doom spiral so easily. I've been trying to think of ways to give myself mental boosts during the race. I have an emergency "best running songs" playlist ready to go if needed. I'm stationing my husband and son at Animal Kingdom. Will probably beg people to text me happy thoughts, especially later in the race.

I'm totally open to other suggestions for things I can put into place now to give me those boosts when I need them.

For this one it's important to keep in mind that many many many people before you have done it under similar circumstances. So you're not blazing a completely new path never done before.
This is very helpful! Thanks!

(Compared to my recurring thought that the first person who ran a marathon died = not helpful, thanks brain)
 
This is my go-to "need motivation now" for running. Happily Ever After fireworks. If you have good enough reception, you can listen to it while you run. I have YouTube Music with premium, so it's saved to my device. :)


My other go-to is Illuminations with the Holiday Tag.


Both of these make me sob, especially the Holiday Tag (let there be peace on Earth), so listen at your own risk. :)
 
I definitely feel this! I doom spiral so easily. I've been trying to think of ways to give myself mental boosts during the race. I have an emergency "best running songs" playlist ready to go if needed. I'm stationing my husband and son at Animal Kingdom. Will probably beg people to text me happy thoughts, especially later in the race.

I'm totally open to other suggestions for things I can put into place now to give me those boosts when I need them.

Honestly, the best way not to stress over it is just to enjoy it, and let happen what happens. Racing is the victory lap. It's a celebration, not a final exam. So celebrate! And most celebrations I know are a joyous occasion. If it doesn't work out, that's ok. There's many years of life left to give it another chance under different circumstances.


(Compared to my recurring thought that the first person who ran a marathon died = not helpful, thanks brain)

Which historically needs the context that the ~marathon journey that he did was proceeded by hundreds of miles in the days prior.
 
Will probably beg people to text me happy thoughts, especially later in the race.
I have no idea how to do it, but I know my SIL set her iphone up to read her text messages to her during the last marathon she did. So she wasn't digging her phone out to read them, or trying to read them on her watch. Might be worth doing.


Additionally, if you need stories about people who completely freaked out before their marathon, and still finished them.....I have 3. :upsidedow
 
I have no idea how to do it, but I know my SIL set her iphone up to read her text messages to her during the last marathon she did. So she wasn't digging her phone out to read them, or trying to read them on her watch. Might be worth doing.


Additionally, if you need stories about people who completely freaked out before their marathon, and still finished them.....I have 3. :upsidedow
I ask Siri to read mine! I also ask her to text for me. Makes me look like I'm talking to myself, but we're all a little nuts during a marathon, right?
 
Both of these make me sob, especially the Holiday Tag (let there be peace on Earth), so listen at your own risk. :)
Oh my goodness. I can't even listen to Happily Every After when I'm driving because of the way it makes me cry.

And I hold that Illuminations was and will probably always be the best Epcot nighttime show. I haven't listened to the holiday soundtrack but I bet it's just as fantastic.

It's so funny, during my grumpy post-Thanksgiving run it's like my playlist was trying its best to cheer me up and it played probably 10 songs in a row that are the ones I never skip. Then I thought "I should make a playlist with just these songs."
 
It's a celebration, not a final exam. So celebrate! And most celebrations I know are a joyous occasion. If it doesn't work out, that's ok. There's many years of life left to give it another chance under different circumstances.
I'm trying so hard to have this mindset. I've put so much into this effort, and it has been worth it. I feel great, and I'm already doing things I couldn't do a year ago. But I also hope I succeed so I don't have to do this all over again. Although I am told that if I do succeed the chances are high that I will want to do it again. We'll see.


Which historically needs the context that the ~marathon journey that he did was proceeded by hundreds of miles in the days prior.
Ok, fair point. He probably also didn't have an awesome running coach helping him, so I'm way ahead of the game there.
 
I have no idea how to do it, but I know my SIL set her iphone up to read her text messages to her during the last marathon she did.
I ask Siri to read mine! I also ask her to text for me. Makes me look like I'm talking to myself, but we're all a little nuts during a marathon, right?

I will have to figure out how to do this! I talk into my watch to send texts all the time, but I never thought of getting incoming messages read to me!


Additionally, if you need stories about people who completely freaked out before their marathon, and still finished them.....I have 3. :upsidedow
Oof. I won't ask you to relive the trauma, and I'm sorry you went through that (three times!) but it's good to know I'm not alone with my anxiety.
 
I will have to figure out how to do this! I talk into my watch to send texts all the time, but I never thought of getting incoming messages read to me!
It's easy to set up with the Siri settings! I have my Garmin set to beep when I get a text, so I'll just say, "Hey Siri, read texts." She reads them and asks if you want to respond. When I want to text someone, I just say, "Hey Siri, text ___."
 
Oof. I won't ask you to relive the trauma, and I'm sorry you went through that (three times!) but it's good to know I'm not alone with my anxiety.
It's all in my training journal.

The short version is: I generally have massive anxiety after the half, sleep horribly the night before the full, and am an absolute wreck until about mile 5 on marathon day. But this past MW we did things a little differently, and I discovered that I just need a LOT more sleep than I was getting. Napping for an hour or 2 after each of the first 3 races made me a completely different person.
 
Which historically needs the context that the ~marathon journey that he did was proceeded by hundreds of miles in the days prior.

So in terms of mortality risk:
OG marathoner > Dopey > "Just" the marathon... got it.

As far as mindset goes, knowing I've done this three times before (and at least once with far less training than I have now) has a LOT to do with me not freaking out at the moment. But my actual strategy is to hunt down @Herding_Cats and @nancipants and @superchime and force us all to finish this thing together!
 












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