Cell Phones at What age?

[luvmy3]

Yes, I am very lucky. Or, not lucky, really, just smart about where I send my kids. I'm sure you are, too, and that was just a one-off that you learned a lesson from and will research better next time

The problem with helicopter parenting - or aka...not ever wanting to rely on a 3rd party to help your child, is that you are not around your child 24/7. I guess in that case, it makes the parent feel better that there is such great technology out there now so that we never really have to *BE* away! Starting at birth with TV monitors in their bedrooms, youTube access channels at the daycare, to 9 years old on the school bus, on to high school and college....I will not be surprised when colleges start offering in-dorm satellite images of our little cupcakes snoozing away (we hope!) at 1am on a Saturday night - you know...just so that we don't have to rely on a third-party cell phone carrier to get us in touch with them!

Sorry, PP...nothing against you - just working out my perspective....it goes a little off base sometimes.

Well it definitely sounds like you need to work out your perspective if you equate wanting to be able to communicate with your child, or having your child be able to communicate with you as helicopter parenting
Personally I don't think that is in the same league as monitoring your child's every move. Its just using a convenient technology to be able to communicate when needed.

 

[SEA333]

Well it definitely sounds like you need to work out your perspective if you equate wanting to be able to communicate with your child, or having your child be able to communicate with you as helicopter parenting
Personally I don't think that is in the same league as monitoring your child's every move. Its just using a convenient technology to be able to communicate when needed.

So, with my crazy-weird perspective here, explain to me how specifically stating that you want to give a 9 year old a phone so that she can call you to come get her at the bus stop if someone is being mean to her on the bus, ISN'T helicopter-ing???!!!! The bus driver is there - if you do not have faith that he/she, and subsequently the school if it happens on the walk home, will handle it, then I would pull my child off the bus and have a chat with the school (and yes, I drove my kids to school which meant at a certain point in time packing up a 6 month old, a 2 year old, and 2 3-year-olds that I was doing daycare for instead of having my child ride the bus - for various reasons, the bus wasn't a good fit our location in relation to the school).

Instead, the parent gives the kid a cell phone so that they can meet the kid at the bus? What usually goes on....the kid walks home alone? Doesn't the parent already know what time the bus gets to the stop? WHY on earth would someone let their kid walk home alone where there are bullies?

OK - so I get it... the parent didn't know the kid was going to bully before the first incident - so why did the 9 year old have the cell phone before the bullying started if the REASON for the cell phone was so said child could call mom if she felt threatened? And what about after....do you (or the parent, if it isn't you) meet the 9 year old at the bus every day now? Why would the child be forced to continue to ride every day if there are bullying issues that are so severe that it warrents such extreme action as paying hundreds of dollars a year and supplying a 9 year old with an expensive electronic device?

Geesh...if a parent wants to pay for a cell phone for a young kid, just do it. But don't make up ridiculous reasons for it. Just say the kid wanted one because everyone else has one, and leave it at that. I get it...my 9 year old wants one too - and not just ANY phone...an IPhone 5. The added benefit to the phone is so that you can reach the kid, but given the # of times my 8th grader doesn't answer when i call, I might as well just give him a cup attached to a string. I might be able to reach him better that way. But he certainly knows how to play a movie or go on the internet on that thing!

Bottom line is, anyone under the age of about 5-6th grade will very likely not be in a situation where they MUST have a cell phone or die. There will always be an adult around to help - or if there isn't, than maybe reevaluating where your child is and who with, and when, might be in order. Cell phone or not, I wouldn't WANT my kids anywhere that a responsible adult would refuse to help them if they needed it.

 

[SweetMissy]

18 and if they can pay for it themselves. I don't see the need for kids to have one younger than that. We all survived without them and so can our kids.

 

[Mamakop]

My oldest will be 6 in January, so we still have a long while before we get her one. I got my first cell phone when I was 12, so she will probably get one around the same time.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

My 2 youngest kids are now DS12 and DD13 and we got them a phone at the beginning of this year when they were 11 and 12. Not smart phones. Just talk and text phones.

 

[kohlby]

I will also say that it bugs me that some have said that their kid could just use another person's phone if needed

Not sure if this was directed at me, but I was referring to the adult's phone who is in charge of whatever activity they're at, not another child's. As for me ever using someone else's phone, as I don't have a cell, often it's a landline at a business that I'm at - like a drs appt that ran too late. I figure it's their fault I was there over an hour longer than planned so it shouldn't be an issue for me to use the phone to let my child at home know. I did use the tennis coach's phone when my car wouldn't start, but I would have been fine if he had said I couldn't, I would have walked to the rec building and asked to use their landline.

I understand that cell phones give many parents peace of mind, and that's fine for them. Having less stress is good for your health! (I may consider it if I were a divorced parent with partial custody too, but that's a totally different situation). It's not a necessity for me so we're avoiding cell phones for now. I still don't feel that I need a cell phone, except on long drives, so it's hard for me to understand why my child needs one.

 

[disneymommagic]

My DD got her first cell phone when she was 9 it was a hand me down phone after I upgraded she walked home after school and I wanted her to be able to reach us. We switched her to a smart phone when she turned 12, and plan on getting her an iphone for Christmas. My daughter knows I check her phone , Facebook , and Instagram along with her laptop regularly, and we often talk about how sending things can go wrong quickly , so I have no worries about her being irresponsible with her phone.

We are thinking of getting DS 8 a iphone this year simple because he uses an iPod touch to communicate at almost all time due to speech issues, and he walks home now from school and with one he can use his speech app and call if in trouble.

If you think your child is ready then it does not matter when someone got their child a phone you know what is best for them and your family. Personal people thought my DD was to young but myself and DH make the choice we thought worked for our family.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

We purchased our DD8 an iPhone about a month ago. She doesn't take it to school, and we monitor her usage closely, but for our own reasons we feel more comfortable with her having a phone than not having one. My wife, who is the tech savvy one in our family, has put all sorts of controls on it. One thing I like about it is we can track her when she walks to the park, or to a friend's home, or, next summer, to the pool, so we think it actually helps keep her safer than not having one.

 

[Egdisney]

I will get my kids text and talk cell phones when I think they need them. Right now I have told my dd9 that she can have one when she starts babysitting her sisters and brother and that will be her payment. I don't understand the argument that we did just fine without them, why do kids now need them? Many people do not have landlines. A coach could forget their phone. I used to be able to call my parents from a pay phone after Friday night football and basketball games. I feel pretty confident in saying that the last time I was at my alma mater I did not see pay phones in the gym area. I know I have never seen a pay phone in our current town. Ever. Your parents didn't have the internet, why do you? Because technology makes strides and times change. There is no reason not to move along with them, at least to an extent.

 

[kohlby]

Many people do not have landlines. A coach could forget their phone

A coach needs to have some way to contact someone in an emergency. I can't imagine a school not having a phone inside that the coach can use and making sure there's someway for the coach to contact people when away. Speaking as a former coach, it was a requirement that there was at least one adult with a cell phone when we weren't at the school, so the bus drivers all had cell phones so that took care of away games. If a coach is outside on the field, then they should have a key to get into a building to get to a phone. Schools do have landlines. But if they aren't going to allow their coaches to get into a building with a phone, then they would need to provide their coaches with a cell. It is part of the coach's responsibility to not forget their phone if that's the only access to a phone they have.

As for people not having landlines, I can only think of that being as an issue when babysitting. Since there would be an adult around somewhere in other situations. With babysitting, then that is something that would have to be figured out. My eldest is only in 5th grade, so not babysitting yet. But if he did - and if we had a cell phone - then I'd let him take one of our phones. (I'm presuming that both hubby and I had a phone so if he took one of our phones, then we would still have one). Or the people he's sitting for would have to account for that and leave a phone for emergencies there - which is what would have to happen if he started babysitting in the next several years.

I do stand by that I did just fine without a cell phone before, so my kids can do fine without one as well. I don't think it can be compared to the internet. The internet isn't an need either. I like having it, but I could get by without it if I absolutely had to. About pay phones, I actually didn't use them much growing up. We would set a pick-up time ahead of time usually. School activities usually got done around the same time. If we got done earlier, my parents would wait a few minutes. Or I'd have to wait a bit. It wasn't a big deal.

Cell phones aren't cheap. When I figure out the per monthly charge and multiply by 12, it's a lot more I want to spend on a phone. It's not me refusing to move along with the times. It's me not wanting an expense that I don't feel is worth it. I do feel my internet is worth it, but also know it's an extra for me, not a necessity. I have no issues with other adults wanting cell phones. People spend their money on different things, and that's okay! (And some adults truly do need cell phones for their jobs). It's just not an expense I find necessary.

 

[rebbyparker]

My granddaughter got one at 11 because that's when her schedule got crazy. She plays violin in orchestra, sings in spotlight choir, dances twice a week, and just started bookbowl. On any given day, practices or issues pop up and she needs to communicate what's happening to us. Plus, we can always call her and ask "Now which is it today?"

 

[mjkacmom]

A coach needs to have some way to contact someone in an emergency. I can't imagine a school not having a phone inside that the coach can use and making sure there's someway for the coach to contact people when away..

Most coached sports do not involve schools. My kids have been playing rec/travel/club sports since the age of 5. Ds10's club soccer team practices in a field in the middle of nowhere, 1/2 hour away, with access to nothing but a port-a-potty. Hopefully, his coach always has a phone, because ds10 doesn't have one.

DH coaches several teams a year, and is guilty of being absent minded, and not having a phone (or keys, or wallet...). I wouldn't always count on a coach having a phone.

Once kids are in HS, of course they have phones. Out of the 1000+ kids in our HS, I'm guessing 3 don't have phones? It's the younger set that might end up in a situation needing a phone, and not having access to one.

I equate having a cell phone today to having a land line when I was a kid. The majority of people have them, although there are a few hold-outs, for whatever reason. Growing up, my mom had a party line (and her family didn't have a car). Things change. Not only does my mom like having a cell phone (and a car), she doesn't miss sharing her phone line with everyone else in the building.

I grew up without cable, internet, and cellphones. Sure, I survived, but things have gotten a heck of a lot easier! Heck, back in the day, people survived without washers and dryers, air conditioning, automobiles... Anyone still holding out on those things?

 

[Surfinpiratee]

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 13. (I'm 22 now)
I cannot believe the young kids that have cell phones, it's ridiculous.

And in restaurants!!!! Like, the whole family sits there on their phones and the kids have iPads, like, when you go out to dinner, that's family time. When I was a kid I talked to my parents, colored on the kids menu and waited patiently for my food.

Okay, rant over..

But my kids will not be getting cell phones until they actually NEED them, like when they're going off on their own and we can use them to communicate with them. Which I imagine will be around age 13 or so.

 

[~Kristina~]

My son is going to be 12 next month and he'll be getting one. He's in middle school and I feel better with him having one there. Also, it would be easier for his best friend to text him rather than me to talk to him. lol

 

[SweetMissy]

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 13. (I'm 22 now)
I cannot believe the young kids that have cell phones, it's ridiculous.

And in restaurants!!!! Like, the whole family sits there on their phones and the kids have iPads, like, when you go out to dinner, that's family time. When I was a kid I talked to my parents, colored on the kids menu and waited patiently for my food.

Okay, rant over..

But my kids will not be getting cell phones until they actually NEED them, like when they're going off on their own and we can use them to communicate with them. Which I imagine will be around age 13 or so.

Is 13 not a young kid to you? LOL

My ideal age is 18 and I will not be buying it. You made some very good points! I think it's sad that so many young ones have phones, and whatever else there is. Part of the problem with our society is little communication and like you said families are out at dinner and half of them have their face buried in a piece of technology. Same goes for vacations....I've seen so many playing on their phone at disneyworld instead of enjoying the time with their kids. It's everywhere....malls, parks, even taking walks. It's just sad and IMO lazy.

 

[wallskm]

I have a long time before my kids will need a phone of their own (they are 4 and almost 2), but I imagine we will get one once they are being left home alone while I go out to do errands, etc. I didn't get my first phone until I was driving but we had a landline. We recently got rid of our landline so if I left them at home they wouldn't have an easy way to contact me. Giving them my phone wouldn't work as then they couldn't reach me, and I won't always be with my husband when the kids are home alone. I like the idea of a simple shared phone that stays home unless they are at a practice or something.

 

[Egdisney]

A coach needs to have some way to contact someone in an emergency. I can't imagine a school not having a phone inside that the coach can use and making sure there's someway for the coach to contact people when away. Speaking as a former coach, it was a requirement that there was at least one adult with a cell phone when we weren't at the school, so the bus drivers all had cell phones so that took care of away games. If a coach is outside on the field, then they should have a key to get into a building to get to a phone. Schools do have landlines. But if they aren't going to allow their coaches to get into a building with a phone, then they would need to provide their coaches with a cell. It is part of the coach's responsibility to not forget their phone if that's the only access to a phone they have. As for people not having landlines, I can only think of that being as an issue when babysitting. Since there would be an adult around somewhere in other situations. With babysitting, then that is something that would have to be figured out. My eldest is only in 5th grade, so not babysitting yet. But if he did - and if we had a cell phone - then I'd let him take one of our phones. (I'm presuming that both hubby and I had a phone so if he took one of our phones, then we would still have one). Or the people he's sitting for would have to account for that and leave a phone for emergencies there - which is what would have to happen if he started babysitting in the next several years. I do stand by that I did just fine without a cell phone before, so my kids can do fine without one as well. I don't think it can be compared to the internet. The internet isn't an need either. I like having it, but I could get by without it if I absolutely had to. About pay phones, I actually didn't use them much growing up. We would set a pick-up time ahead of time usually. School activities usually got done around the same time. If we got done earlier, my parents would wait a few minutes. Or I'd have to wait a bit. It wasn't a big deal. Cell phones aren't cheap. When I figure out the per monthly charge and multiply by 12, it's a lot more I want to spend on a phone. It's not me refusing to move along with the times. It's me not wanting an expense that I don't feel is worth it. I do feel my internet is worth it, but also know it's an extra for me, not a necessity. I have no issues with other adults wanting cell phones. People spend their money on different things, and that's okay! (And some adults truly do need cell phones for their jobs). It's just not an expense I find necessary.

Not all activities are through a school.

 

[Surfinpiratee]

Is 13 not a young kid to you? LOL

My ideal age is 18 and I will not be buying it. You made some very good points! I think it's sad that so many young ones have phones, and whatever else there is. Part of the problem with our society is little communication and like you said families are out at dinner and half of them have their face buried in a piece of technology. Same goes for vacations....I've seen so many playing on their phone at disneyworld instead of enjoying the time with their kids. It's everywhere....malls, parks, even taking walks. It's just sad and IMO lazy.

Not really, at 13 you're going to the movies with friends and stuff, walking around the mall by yourself, etc.

I see 7 year olds with their own phones. That's ridiculous

My boyfriend didn't get a phone until he was 18 haha

 

[luvmy3]

So, with my crazy-weird perspective here, explain to me how specifically stating that you want to give a 9 year old a phone so that she can call you to come get her at the bus stop if someone is being mean to her on the bus, ISN'T helicopter-ing???!!!! The bus driver is there - if you do not have faith that he/she, and subsequently the school if it happens on the walk home, will handle it, then I would pull my child off the bus and have a chat with the school (and yes, I drove my kids to school which meant at a certain point in time packing up a 6 month old, a 2 year old, and 2 3-year-olds that I was doing daycare for instead of having my child ride the bus - for various reasons, the bus wasn't a good fit our location in relation to the school).

Instead, the parent gives the kid a cell phone so that they can meet the kid at the bus? What usually goes on....the kid walks home alone? Doesn't the parent already know what time the bus gets to the stop? WHY on earth would someone let their kid walk home alone where there are bullies?

OK - so I get it... the parent didn't know the kid was going to bully before the first incident - so why did the 9 year old have the cell phone before the bullying started if the REASON for the cell phone was so said child could call mom if she felt threatened? And what about after....do you (or the parent, if it isn't you) meet the 9 year old at the bus every day now? Why would the child be forced to continue to ride every day if there are bullying issues that are so severe that it warrents such extreme action as paying hundreds of dollars a year and supplying a 9 year old with an expensive electronic device?

Geesh...if a parent wants to pay for a cell phone for a young kid, just do it. But don't make up ridiculous reasons for it. Just say the kid wanted one because everyone else has one, and leave it at that. I get it...my 9 year old wants one too - and not just ANY phone...an IPhone 5. The added benefit to the phone is so that you can reach the kid, but given the # of times my 8th grader doesn't answer when i call, I might as well just give him a cup attached to a string. I might be able to reach him better that way. But he certainly knows how to play a movie or go on the internet on that thing!

Bottom line is, anyone under the age of about 5-6th grade will very likely not be in a situation where they MUST have a cell phone or die. There will always be an adult around to help - or if there isn't, than maybe reevaluating where your child is and who with, and when, might be in order. Cell phone or not, I wouldn't WANT my kids anywhere that a responsible adult would refuse to help them if they needed it.

Personally I think you have your own ideas about cell phone use and that is fine, but please if you are going to try to prove some kind of point have the decency to at least read what the posters here have said. Stop inserting your swewed perspective into what we are saying and pay attention to what we actually say.
I never said I wanted my kid to have a phone because someone was "being mean" to her on the bus. And FTR, the kid, who was older and much bigger was KICKING her, not just being mean but physically assaulting her and told her that she better not tell the bus driver. So, she already had a phone and she used it to call me and ask me to meet her because she was afraid to get off with the kid that kicked her. I was thankful she had her phone because she was too scared to tell the bus driver and I was there to make sure the bus driver was told and the kid was dealt with. If you are the kind of parent who would leave their 9 year old to deal with that on their own, well then what I would say about that would probably get me banned.
Now, I also said she got a phone after her incident at summer camp because I wanted to make sure if she needed me she could reach me. She got hurt, and wanted me to pick her up.
If you think those things are being a "helicpoter" parent that is fine, clearly you do not understand the term helicopter parent. It used is to describe a parent that hovers over their child. I don't use the phone to constantly check on my kids, they use it to contact me. A kid calling their parent doesn't fit that description but hey if you don't actually understand the difference between those kind of situations and a hovering helicopter parent, there isn't anything else I can say to help you.

So, my kids got phones when I felt they needed them, so that they didn't have to rely in anyone else to contact me. No, they didn't get one because everyone else has one, my dd was one of the first of her friends to have one. My 13 year old got one when he was 12, long after everyone else. My 9 year old has one because he is involved in many activities and since I can't be with him for every one I let him get a phone. He doesn't even take it to school. He wants an iPhone because everyone else has one. Sure I could afford one and pay the measly $12 a month I pay for my phone, but he isn't getting one because we don't get things just because everyone else does.

Hope all that helps to clear up your skewed perspective

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think that sometimes we forget that kids have other needs besides safety. A child truly has the need for friends. Once most or all of your child's friends have phones and texting, you child is going to be left out of the social loop. Plans are made by texting between each other, and often no one thinks to bother to call the one child without a phone. In our area, I would estimate that 98% of middle school kids have phones, and maybe 75% 3rd grade and up. This may be way lower in some areas, but its at least something to think about. I could just picture my grandmothe'rs dad saying, " we don't need electricity, or indoor toilets, I got along just fine without them and you will too"!