Cell Phones at What age?

[tlh0726]

13 is the age in our house for a cell phone

 

[garjanjones]

As a middle school teacher, I can tell you most kids already have them. My child will have one at that age, but it will not have internet access or a passcode. I will have full access if he wants the oportunity to have a phone. I know for a fact that my students look at things they shouldn't be looking at.

 

[SEA333]

Personally I think you have your own ideas about cell phone use and that is fine, but please if you are going to try to prove some kind of point have the decency to at least read what the posters here have said. Stop inserting your swewed perspective into what we are saying and pay attention to what we actually say.
I never said I wanted my kid to have a phone because someone was "being mean" to her on the bus. And FTR, the kid, who was older and much bigger was KICKING her, not just being mean but physically assaulting her and told her that she better not tell the bus driver. So, she already had a phone and she used it to call me and ask me to meet her because she was afraid to get off with the kid that kicked her. I was thankful she had her phone because she was too scared to tell the bus driver and I was there to make sure the bus driver was told and the kid was dealt with. If you are the kind of parent who would leave their 9 year old to deal with that on their own, well then what I would say about that would probably get me banned.
Now, I also said she got a phone after her incident at summer camp because I wanted to make sure if she needed me she could reach me. She got hurt, and wanted me to pick her up.
If you think those things are being a "helicpoter" parent that is fine, clearly you do not understand the term helicopter parent. It used is to describe a parent that hovers over their child. I don't use the phone to constantly check on my kids, they use it to contact me. A kid calling their parent doesn't fit that description but hey if you don't actually understand the difference between those kind of situations and a hovering helicopter parent, there isn't anything else I can say to help you.

So, my kids got phones when I felt they needed them, so that they didn't have to rely in anyone else to contact me. No, they didn't get one because everyone else has one, my dd was one of the first of her friends to have one. My 13 year old got one when he was 12, long after everyone else. My 9 year old has one because he is involved in many activities and since I can't be with him for every one I let him get a phone. He doesn't even take it to school. He wants an iPhone because everyone else has one. Sure I could afford one and pay the measly $12 a month I pay for my phone, but he isn't getting one because we don't get things just because everyone else does.

Hope all that helps to clear up your skewed perspective

Hahahaha - that is funny. You don't actually have to HOVER to be a helicopter parent LOL That is silly. It's just an EXPRESSION!!!!

No example you gave warrants giving a 9 year old a cell phone, but all situations would have been signals to me that I was putting my children in places, and with adults, that I should have thought twice about. My "skewed" perspective is perhaps due to the fact that I only send my children to places and with adults that I can trust and that will help my kids if they need it. I apologize that I didn't realize how much our experiences, and thus our outlooks, are so different.

Also....I'm confused....what is "swewed", and who is *WE*???!!!! Because I am only responding to you - most of the other posters in this thread make perfect sense to me!

 

[cjbcam]

Hahahaha - that is funny. You don't actually have to HOVER to be a helicopter parent LOL That is silly. It's just an EXPRESSION!!!!

No example you gave warrants giving a 9 year old a cell phone, but all situations would have been signals to me that I was putting my children in places, and with adults, that I should have thought twice about. My "skewed" perspective is perhaps due to the fact that I only send my children to places and with adults that I can trust and that will help my kids if they need it. I apologize that I didn't realize how much our experiences, and thus our outlooks, are so different.

Also....I'm confused....what is "swewed", and who is *WE*???!!!! Because I am only responding to you - most of the other posters in this thread make perfect sense to me!

I actually think she makes perfect sense. Especially when it comes to the bullies on the bus. It's hard enough for kids to tell their parents. Look at all the kids taking their lives because of bullying. Last I checked most parents aren't buddies with the bus drivers that take their kids to school. How can you say you trust everyone your kid is in contact with? Are you close personal friends with every teacher, coach, bus driver or other kids parents? In my books people earn trust it's not blindly given. I think her reasons are perfectly acceptable.

 

[luvmy3]

Hahahaha - that is funny. You don't actually have to HOVER to be a helicopter parent LOL That is silly. It's just an EXPRESSION!!!!

No example you gave warrants giving a 9 year old a cell phone, but all situations would have been signals to me that I was putting my children in places, and with adults, that I should have thought twice about. My "skewed" perspective is perhaps due to the fact that I only send my children to places and with adults that I can trust and that will help my kids if they need it. I apologize that I didn't realize how much our experiences, and thus our outlooks, are so different.

Also....I'm confused....what is "swewed", and who is *WE*???!!!! Because I am only responding to you - most of the other posters in this thread make perfect sense to me!

Well you know not of all us can be a perfect parent, we send our kids to places where the adults in charge of them may make mistakes. And we don't have the perfect children, they may not do something we have told them to do (like tell an adult in charge if someone is hurting them). We even make typos...........Obviously since we feel our imperfect 9 year olds could benefit from having a cell phone we aren't working as hard at being as perfect as you and those you surround yourself are. It must be so exhausting for you knowing everyone your kids are around, and making sure they are the kind of people that would never ever make any mistake ever. How do you go about that, maybe you could enlighten us.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Hahahaha - that is funny. You don't actually have to HOVER to be a helicopter parent LOL That is silly. It's just an EXPRESSION!!!!

No example you gave warrants giving a 9 year old a cell phone, but all situations would have been signals to me that I was putting my children in places, and with adults, that I should have thought twice about. My "skewed" perspective is perhaps due to the fact that I only send my children to places and with adults that I can trust and that will help my kids if they need it. I apologize that I didn't realize how much our experiences, and thus our outlooks, are so different.

Also....I'm confused....what is "swewed", and who is *WE*???!!!! Because I am only responding to you - most of the other posters in this thread make perfect sense to me!

See, this thinking is very dangerous. You try to seek out people that you think you can trust, AND you teach you child to look for clues that something might not be right AND you teach your child what to do if things do not seem right AND you teach them to tell you AND you make sure they can contact you.
Our DS7 started Martial Arts at 5. The school was owned by people we knew and had been in operation for 30 years. The teacher of the younger kids had been there for 15 of those years and had a spotless record. We choose the school becase of him. He was wonderful with the kids......kind, and patient, but knew how to monivate them. We were mostly there during class, but they also had lockin parties where parents dropped the kids off.
We woke up one sunday am this past summer to the news that a local martial arts teacher had killed his girlfriend that night. We never in our wildest dreams could have imagined it was OUR teacher untill the calls and text started coming in. Most of us parents are still having a hard time healing with the fact, we left our babies wtih this guy. Yes, extreme, but we are always hearing stories of trusted coaches and teachers commiting crimes against our children, and reseach shows that your child is much more likely to be hurt by someone you know, rather than a stranger. Now of course this does not mean that we never trust anyone. We have a new martial arts teacher, and have had new coaches since then, but it does mean we know a bit better that trust is a foggy area and we not only are more cautious, we have taught these boys in the class to be. Not make them afraid, but arm them with the ability to reconize and report any behavior that might not feel right to them. Now, this does not mean every 5 year old needs a phone, but it just shows that our trust can never be complete.

 

[motherof2boys]

Oldest DS got his 1st phone as a 5th grade Graduation gift. He was 11. It was one of the free ones Verizon offered. We got unlimited texting. He was was walking home to an empty house (for 20-30 minutes while I picked up younger DS) Most of the kids in his class got them as well.
Then that Spring younger DS (8 at the time) wanted to walk home with his friends. I wasn't completely comfortable (yes, prob over protective ) so we got him one as well. Another free one with unlimited texting too. None of his friends had a phone so DH & I were the only ones who called or texted him.
3 years later DS14 is going into HS so we decided as an 8th Gr Graduation gift to get him a Smart phone. A month before this happens my DH jokes with DS10 if he gets a goal at his LAX game he'll by him an iPhone. He had been talking about wanting an iTouch. So my timid son gets his first goal! We were so proud of him! After the game he says Dad I know you were joking but an iPhone would have been cool. As much as it hurt our wallets we got him the iPhone. I think DH learned his lesson! We did tell both boys the phones were (8th & 5th grade) Graduation gifts & not to expect much more for their (Summer) Birthdays!

 

[disneydeal]

My daughter got her first cell phone when she was 6 she's now 10...

 

[rachael95]

For those of you who think it's a good idea to give a baby sitter your phone, you need to consider your personal security and your phone bill. Unless you have a regular old non-smart phone, you are giving your babysitter complete access to your data plan on a smart phone. Most people would not think to lock it out. So this means, the baby sitter can read all your email, download movies or youtube, use up all your data plan and possibly get into other things you wouldn't want a stranger playing with. Anyone have Facebook on your phone? Anyone do online banking on your phone? Many people with smartphones do that. Do you really want a bored baby sitter going through all your financial stuff because you lent them your phone?

For those who say you didn't have a phone when you were a kid, I would bet you also had access to land lines in your house, pay phones on almost every corner or businesses who would allow you to use the phone. These mostly don't exist. Where I work, we actually have a policy that non-workers can NOT use our phones. If it's an emergency, we'll call 911 for you. Anything that doesn't require 911 is not an emergency and you can't use the phone. Even if we did let someone use the phone, long distance calls are blocked. Many people keep their phone number for years because they like it and don't want to go through the hassle of changing it with dozens of places. When they move to another town or another state, their phone number is now long distance. So even if the child tried calling from a business, they wouldn't be able to because it might be a long distance number.

And for those of you who think a parent who wants to make sure their child has a way to contact them in an emergency, you have NO idea what a helicopter parent is. Helicopter parents are people who don't give their kids independence and who try to do everything for their child without giving their kids the ability to responsibly take care of something (like a phone and use it wisely). They are the people who would have no need to have their kid have a phone because they are always with their kid. They don't give the kid a reason to have any responsibility at all and keep their child as a child forever. I've seen helicopter parents try to pay off someone when their child hit their car in a car accident because they didn't want the police involved to give the kid a ticket for running a red light (saw this TWICE). I've seen helicopter parents LITERALLY come in with their children to job interviews and try to answer the questions for the kids. And then get angry when I didn't hire the child who they didn't allow to speak in the interview. THOSE are helicopter parents.

Don't judge when you don't have all the facts.

 

[mousehunter3]

My daughter got one when she started Kindergarten. The ONLY reason we got it for her (and it was my husband's old phone) was because she has to take a taxicab after school and I wanted her to be able to reach us if she needed to. She's had it for 5 years now and never lost it. She just recently started calling/texting with one of her friends who also has a cell phone. She doesn't abuse it at all. My son is 8 and has no need for one so he will get one when he is mature enough to be able to hold onto it without losing it AND when we need him to have one.