Cell Phones at What age?

[cjbcam]

My soon to be 11 year old has been asking for one for two years. I would say about half her class has one and I've always thought No way. But once she turns 11 she can take her babysitters course and she also has more freedom. I am admittedly an over protective parent but also realize kids need a little freedom to grow so am considering giving her one so I can not only keep tabs on her but know if she needs something she can just call. What are you views ?

 

[rachael95]

We're a bit of a gadget loving family. We've talked about it for our DS (he's only 20 months but we are already planning on him getting one of our iPads in the next couple months). As long as we thought he was mature enough, I could see as young as 9. More likely 10.

But, there would be hard and fast ground rules and the expectation that we could and would periodically read through his texts and go through his call log. So he could expect that he needed to keep his texts to something he wouldn't mind mom knowing about.

I'd go ahead if you're getting her a phone to also spring for unlimited texts. Kids today use their phones more like fancy telegraph machines than phones. Most of them would rather text someone than call them. Depending on what you want her to use the phone for will also determine if you want a smart phone or just the basic model.

You could also decide that this could be a way to test her maturity and be a learning opportunity. Have her be responsible for a few dollars of the bill every month. I see things like this as a great way to teach responsibility in a way that won't have serious consequences if they fail. (Like a college kid with their first credit card who has never been taught how money works. I work at a university and you'd be surprised how many students who work for me are getting calls from debt collectors because they've ruined their credit with credit cards.)

If your DD is mature enough to want to be a babysitter, I think she's mature enough to have a phone. Especially as a safety issue. We don't have a land line in my house and many people don't now-a-days. That would have to be a requirement of any babysitter I hired.

 

[Ashlander]

My kids will get phones when they start middle school - my son got his a few months ago and he is 11. The main reason for purchasing the phone was he would be staying after school for sports and we needed a way to contact him. We restrict what he can download - I set up parental controls and he knows he has no privacy. We check his phone all the time. Until about a week ago he didn't even know his phone number.

 

[disneymomto5]

Well, we are very old fashioned, so ours won't get one till high school. My 10 year old daughter wants one also, but I just don't trust her to use good judgement. She loves to take pictures of herself and constantly wants to post on youtube, and I just don't think she understands that the internet can be a dangerous place if you aren't careful.

 

[LilyWDW]

Depends on the kid and on their lives. I would get one for a child that would be babysitting or going to activities where there might be a difficulty in finding other ways to contact someone if needed.

 

[Annadesu]

I guess it depends on your kid... It depends on how responsible they are, and how much freedom you wish to give them. Giving a young child a cell phone has pros and cons. Yes, they'll have it in an emergency. You can get that GPS tracking thing on it, too. But on the other hand, it can cause some behavioral problems. A list of things I have seen working with children:

~ Sleep deprivation and poor grades: Rampant cheating on tests, using the phones to look up answers or use the calculator when they aren't suppose to. Not paying attention in class at all because they're using the internet, or texting friends in other classes.

~ Using the phones and ignoring social interactions (For example: Using the phone while dinner is going on, when or when you're talking to them, etc). Using the phone while they're doing homework.

~ Friends (and foes) have constant access to them. Very easy to send nasty messages back and forth. Texting into all hours of the night. Cyber bullying is a huge problem, right now...

~Phones with internet connection may give access to webpages or vids you don't want your kids to see. "Sexting".

~ Some older teens have sent nude images to younger teens, and have actually gotten a criminal history when the parents report the incident.

I'm not saying phones are evil... but they have a lot of potential to cause problems. With younger kids, a lot of them just want to have a phone because all the other kids have phones. I would PERSONALLY say to wait... Or get them a simple phone that you can have access to, and make sure there's rules regarding it. As I said, it really just depends on your kid. If you think they can handle it...

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids got phones when they needed them. Most kids have cellphones here in 6th grade, and most kids have iphones in 7th (middle school). My kids do have a lot of freedom. They start walking to school in 2nd, and even my 10 year olds go out to lunch.

I am waiting with the 10 year old (the rest have iphones). Ds10 could really use one when riding his bike around with friends, or to call me when practices are over. However dd10 is either at soccer practice with dad (once a week), or at dance class with dd12 (4 times a week). I happen to be close friends with all of her friends' parents. She really doesn't need one.

Since our plan replaces phones every 2 years, and I know they will want iphones in middle school, I think I'm waiting until at least the middle of 6th grade. I can get through one more baseball season (ds plays on 2 soccer teams, but his dad coaches one, and the other has strict ending times for practices).

 

[lucyem]

Our plan is to start with a "family" pay as you go phone. One our kids could use on an as needed basis.

My oldest is 11 and has friends with phones now. But most of them participate in sports and/or other activities where they need a phone to call home. My DS has not been in a situation yet where he would need one, but I see the day coming soon.

I have issues with just blindly handing a preteen a cell phone (or iPod/ipad/kindle) with access to the internet etc. We see a lot of abuse by kids as well as a lot of parents who are totally clueless as to what their kids are up to. Even my DS's best friend, who has been educated extensively on the internet and watched closely by his parents, gave a stranger his login info for a website and lost some money in the process. I was picking my DS up at a friends house and the friend showed me his new iPod. I chatted with his parents for a little bit and they had absolutely no clue their son could access wifi and the internet with that iPod.

 

[kohlby]

I don't even have a cell phone! My eldest is 10 and he's far from needing one. He's always places where there's an adult so it's not an issue - there's always a phone around if he needs one. Once he starts driving, then we'll figure out if he really needs one or not. Otherwise, he can have one once he can afford one. I grew up before cell phones and it wasn't an issue - so I figure there's really no reason he needs one for quite a while. I walked all over the place and just had to tell my parents where I was walking and what time I would be back. (Or call when I got there if I was walking a ways to a friend's house. I started marathon training at 16 and half-marathon training at 13, so I was out on the roads without a phone by myself a lot).

As for babysitting, I can't imagine having an 11 year old babysitter and expecting them to have their own cell. Actually, I can't imagine hiring an 11 year old though I was babysitting starting at that age! I did hire a mother's helper before that age though, but that meant I was still home.

 

[luvmy3]

My kids all got them when I thought they needed them. My dd (almost 16) had her first one when she was around 8. She went to an all day summer camp with my younger ds and I wanted her to have a way to reach me right away if needed. It was a firefly and had no keypad so she could only dial numbers we programed into it. Through the years we upgraded her to a real cell. She did not get a smartphone until she was 15.
My ds13 got his first (non-smartphone) cell last year.
My ds10 got one the same one last year.
Both of my dses want smartphones, mainly iphones because everyone else has them. I know when kids say "everyone" its usually a select few, but around here everyone does have an iphone. They are not getting them just because, if they ever get them it will be when I feel they are mature and resposible enough to use them, and right now that isn't the case.

As you can see I didn't even have a strict age with my own kids, I think it really depends on the individual and the need for one as to when its a good age.

 

[scrapquitler]

My soon to be 11 year old has been asking for one for two years. I would say about half her class has one and I've always thought No way. But once she turns 11 she can take her babysitters course and she also has more freedom. I am admittedly an over protective parent but also realize kids need a little freedom to grow so am considering giving her one so I can not only keep tabs on her but know if she needs something she can just call. What are you views ?

I think it is reasonable to give kids a cellphone at 10-11, when they are getting dropped off for sports practices/after school activities and a parent isn't staying with them. It gives them a way to contact their parent or another adult to provide a ride if something happens and the practice ends early, etc.

When we gave our DD a cellphone around that age, I made it clear to her that her having the cellphone was NOT for her convenience, but for MINE. And if she abused the privilege, she would lose it (along with the privilege of being at dance class without me sitting in the lobby waiting for her). She knew and agreed to the rules because she didn't want to be 'that kid' with Mom sitting there waiting for her all the time just in case.

 

[scrapquitler]

I have issues with just blindly handing a preteen a cell phone (or iPod/ipad/kindle) with access to the internet etc. We see a lot of abuse by kids as well as a lot of parents who are totally clueless as to what their kids are up to.

I am all for kids having a cell to contact Mom and Dad from about age 10/11 on, but I completely agree with you about the internet access. For that exact reason, we got our DD a phone with texting capabilities, but no internet. She just turned 17 and still has her 'dumb phone'. When she goes to college in September, we will get her a smart phone, but there's no need for her to have one at this point, she has all the internet access she needs at home.

 

[mjkacmom]

Once he starts driving, then we'll figure out if he really needs one or not. Otherwise, he can have one once he can afford one. I grew up before cell phones and it wasn't an issue - so I figure there's really no reason he needs one for quite a while..

I got my first cell phone when I was about 25 (and it was HUGE). However, the world has changed. No, it's not any more dangerous, but a lot of communication depends on a cellphone. Many people use texting to communicate. It's how a lot of information is passed out, and how plans get made. For example, ds15 gets all of his information regarding varsity soccer practice on his phone. Practice changes, game changes, uniforms - all on his phone.

It's also how kids communicate with each other. Now, some say that kids can always call the home phone. NO KID is that important to anybody. Sad, but true. It's so much easier to send a group text to make plans.

And when was the last time you saw a payphone?

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

My soon to be 11 year old has been asking for one for two years. I would say about half her class has one and I've always thought No way. But once she turns 11 she can take her babysitters course and she also has more freedom. I am admittedly an over protective parent but also realize kids need a little freedom to grow so am considering giving her one so I can not only keep tabs on her but know if she needs something she can just call. What are you views ?

I think 11 is a perfectly acceptable age. Remember that giving your child a cell phone doesn't mean you can't still set limits. I'm not sure what your concerns are but you can set limits on the amount of texting, not allow her to password protect, or even restrict keeping the phone in her bedroom at nights. Each parent is different so do what you think feels right but at some point you have to say yes and I think her 11th birthday might be a great time.

 

[cjbcam]

Thanks you all make very valid points and even mentioned some things I didn't even think of like some people not having land lines. As of right now my two oldest have iPods that they use to text so I know when and what they are texting all texts are sent through my phone. They also aren't allowed to watch u tube unless I approve of what they are watching I also set ratings on it but have noticed the iPods are not really good at blocking things I would consider not appropriate so they also know not to be going on Internet unless they get approval. They know if they are on the Internet they are in the same room with me and I search their history. I think I will get her one for her 11 bday but one with just texting and calling and set some rules. I didn't even think of having a phone with no Internet lol.

 

[SEA333]

Our rule is twofold:
1. The child must be of an age where he/she is not supervised by an adult 24/7, which for my oldest was 6th grade. That was the age we started letting him walk home from school by himslef instead of going to the babysitters with his younger sibs.

2. NOBODY is getting a better phone, ipod, ipad, etc that I have, and if I don't have one, they are not getting one until I have mine first. Heeheehee.

DD is in 4th grade now, 5th grade next year. We are probably going to sign her and younger Ds, who will be in 3rd next year, up for the school bus, which will drop them off at the corner of our block (3 houses away) and they will walk home and wait for older DS, who will be in high school, to get home. Since we have a house phone, I will not be getting her a cell phone. She has an abundance of neighbors to go to in an emergency, or she can call me from the landline. They will be alone anywhere from 10 min to one hour, depending on what big brother has going on after school. And I am less than 15 min away.

She will prob get a phone in 6th grade.

 

[amym2]

Even at sports practices and such, there is always a coach there, so my kids know to have the coach call if they need me. Or to borrow one of their friend's phones. Not giving in to DD9 and DS12 has no interest in a phone.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I might get flamed for it, but we are now discussing getting DS 7, a very basic text/call only phone. I never thought we would, but he now spends time with his bio-mother without us and I want him to be able to call us anytime without having to ask permission. He is never alone, but I like that he can always call me no matter what. We do not have a land line. DS21 got his first phone at 11, and worked his way up to a smart phone. I would not allow a smart phone with internet access until I felt very sure that my child would make good choices, that could be 11 or 18!!!!!

 

[kohlby]

Many people use texting to communicate. It's how a lot of information is passed out, and how plans get made. For example, ds15 gets all of his information regarding varsity soccer practice on his phone. Practice changes, game changes, uniforms - all on his phone.

It's also how kids communicate with each other. Now, some say that kids can always call the home phone. NO KID is that important to anybody. Sad, but true. It's so much easier to send a group text to make plans.

And when was the last time you saw a payphone?

If I've needed a phone, I'm at a business which will let my use theirs. It's a rarity - like the dr appointment that runs too long and I need to call my oldest who is home alone to let him know. If I need to use a business phone, it's always for something important so they've had zero issue with letting me use their phone. I do make plans online and haven't needed texting. We have a home computer and a home phone with an answering machine so people can easily contact us that way. If we're going out of town, then I tell my parents where we are, so they can reach us in an emergency.

Since cell phones technically weren't allowed at the high school I taught at, coaches were not using them to text info to the kids. If students brought a phone, it was supposed to stay in their car. So there were announcements if plans changed with regards to school activities. The coach had a cell so kids could call their parents if needed. When I coached one sport by myself, I had a key to the coaches office so I could easily let kids in just to use the phone. When my kids have done rec league sports, we're given a phone call or emailed. Some parents are texted, but it's not a big deal to call or send an email to us. Maybe some kids don't call each other anymore - though my 10 year old has had plenty of friends calling him, they're not texting each other yet here. If he feels like it cramps his social life at some point, then he can get a job to pay for it. It's not an issue at all in 5th grade here. Plus, I have to approve any plans he does anyway, so it's not like he can't check the phone messages or me check my facebook messages.

 

[Mrs Eeyore]

My DDs, now 18 and 15, both got cells when they were about 11. My motives are selfish. I like knowing that they can always reach me and that I can usually find them, though DD15 likes to leave hers turned off for some reason. I always know if they're going to be late or if they need to be picked up or whatever. Honestly, I don't know how our parents could stay sane when we were out alone with no means of communication.