Blondie
~*~*~*~<br><font color=blue>This TF always enjoys
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1999
- Messages
- 17,306
Paging the "Queer Eye" Guys: J.C. Chasez offers definitive proof as to why the boy band craze died an agonizing death -- even a naïve 'tween would find this Chess King-inspired, white-on-white eyesore a total turn-off. Come on, J.C., you must have a little 'N Sync money squirreled away, enough to buy pants that don't bunch at the ankles (it's called boot cut--try it), shoes that don't have rubber soles, and coats that don't look like they came from the surgical ward. As for the hair situation, we suggest a sturdy razor to remove that so tired soul patch and a good clarifying shampoo to get the 8 pounds of product out of that severe, slicked-back 'do.
Nic in Bloom: Nicole Kidman has hit a new level of fashion savvy: She looks just as fabulous coming and going. To receive a career achievement award from American Cinematheque, the Oscar-winner dons a floor-length Jean-Paul Gaultier gown that plunges perilously low in the back, showing off a vast expanse of her flawless ivory skin. Kidman eschews traditional accessories, opting instead to wear striking red orchids in her upswept hair, with a complementary floral bracelet and gold bangle. Nicole pushes the petal motif even further, matching the orchids not only to her clutch, but her painted fingers and toes, too.
Sheer Madness: Pink tries for Old Hollywood glamour at the American Music Awards, but needs more class, less crass. The ink-stained rocker leaves nothing to the imagination in a bra and panty set "covered" by a see-through black nightie. Here's a good rule of thumb to determine if you're swank or just rank: if your belly button outline is showing, it's probably time to change. Pink makes several other unfathomable fashion decisions, including pairing clunky boots with her naughty negligee, painting her pointy fingernails jet black, and attaching what looks like Marv Albert's old hairpiece to the front of her head as a hat
Blonde and Bond: Gwen Stefani channels Jean Harlow at the American Cinematheque Awards, oozing '40s glamour in a skin-baring V-necked black gown, red, red lips, and extra-long jeweled necklaces. (For those who don't know Harlow, Google her and then compare Gwen's identical look). The No Doubt singer's transformation isn't simply a coincidence: She's making her cinematic debut as "the original blonde bombshell" opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in the Martin Scorsese-directed Howard Hughes biopic "The Aviator." As for Gwen's tux-clad hubby Gavin Rossdale, we can only assume he's attempting to channel an extremely uptight version of James Bond. Geez, someone get that man a martini -- he needs to be shaken and stirred in the worst way.
Orange Crush: Halle Berry may have deglammed for her role as a mental patient in "Gothika," but she was back in fine movie star form for the film's premiere. The flawless Oscar-winner, who has a seemingly unerring eye when it comes to choosing dresses of the most flattering cut and color, looks delicious in a curve-hugging orange Gucci dress and silver T-strap sandals. Halle's gorgeous gold and pearl lariat necklace from Australian jeweler Autore deep-sixes into her corset-style bodice, drawing the eye (as if it needs directions) into her ample cleavage.
Non-Thick Pam: It's finally happened. Pamela Anderson is no longer human. The sizzling siren has turned into a larger-than-life comic book superhero (or bobble head doll, judging by this pose and that itty-bitty, teeny-weeny waist). Most women, even those with bowling ball-sized breast implants and mile-long blonde hair extensions, can never hope to look like this. Pneumatic Pam, in peroxided feathered Farrah hair and stiletto sandals (although it's unlikely she's seen her feet in years), sheaths her preternaturally proportioned frame in a loincloth-like frock that answers many a teen boy's whispered prayer that Pam always go commando.
The Cup Is Half Empty: Note to Sandra Bullock: Unless your bustline is of Pam Anderson-esque proportions, don't choose styles that cause your assets to disappear into training bra territory. The A-lister makes this rookie mistake in a fussy ivory frock with bands of gold beading snaking unflatteringly around the bodice and sides. Sure, the dress shows off Sandra's lithe frame, but the overall effect is more Halloween than Hollywood, especially with her overly dramatic '60s-inspired eyes and hair, both of which look straight out of the Jennifer Lopez makeup manual.
Stone Faced: Remember the fashion days of yore, when Sharon Stone could cause a run on black Gap mock turtlenecks simply by wearing one to the Oscars? Sigh. The once chic celeb hits the Glamour magazine Women of the Year bash turned out in kooky togs that show little of her basic style instincts. The newly single Stone's bizarre flared ensemble includes a coat that looks like it was lifted from Captain Russell Crowe's wardrobe on "Master and Commander." The actress is also undone by her severe, uber-blonde hair and dyed-to-match eyebrows (they should always be a couple shades darker than your hair color), giving her entire head an unflattering whiter-shade-of-pale-meets-baby-chick quality.
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