Cash Bar - Open Bar??

[disneyheaven]

Hi there!
I am terribly confused as to how I choose to do the bar option at my cocktail hour/reception.
I was reading the choices on my "planning guide" which I have since sent back to my wedding planner. The way in which I understood the wording was that I could either 1) have an open bar and pay for the number of hours in which I would like the bar to be open, or 2) have my parents (who are so generously paying for our wedding!) be billed on a "per drink" consumption. For example, if my guests drink $800 of alcohol, they will be paying for that at the end of the night. Either option is way to expensive for my parents. My question is , Does Disney allow a "cash bar". I would like my guests to pay for their own drinks (mabey not for the cocktail hour, we might be serving wine for that) but for the reception, I would like my guests to pay for their own drinks. If someone wants a drink, they can go to the bar and pay for the number of drinks they order. Can this be done? I was just so confused by the wording in the planning guide that I am not sure how to do this. Any responses back would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!! THank you so much!!!!!!!!!!

 

[problemchild718]

IMHO, I often don't bring $$$ to weddings in my little dress up purse! I would rather have only beer and wine at a lower price than to have a cash bar-I think its a bit tacky. If you are paying to have this nice day and people are bring a gift, traveling to your event, what ever, they shouldn't have to pay for drinks. Maybe you can cut a corner somewhere else to allow for the bar bill. Good luck

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I am not sure if it can be done as you will need to talk to the coordinator but it really shouldn't be done. It is not the best etiquette to expect your guests to pay for drinks, or anything at your actual wedding.
I suggest having an open bar for a certain # of hours that is affordable as this often comes out cheaper if you expect your guests to drink a lot versus the pay per drink option.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Hey-

Yes, it can be done but should not. When it comes to etiquette, there is a lot to be said about the cash bar/open bar issue. It's as though you've invited your guests to the wedding but don't have enough money to pay for their drinks. Having a destination wedding entails quite a bit of expense, planning, and vacation time for your guests to attend. Be sure they feel appreciated. There are loads of things written on this topic- just run it in your favorite search engine.

If you're having a cocktail hour, it is just wrong to have your guests pay for their own drinks during that time. Disney charges A LOT per drink- $3.25 per each for soft drinks and $3.75 per each for bottled water. I think a glass of wine is $5.75 or so! For a family of four to have a soda each, they have just spent $13.00! Disney nickles and dimes everyone already... you probably don't want to run the risk of your guests feeling that way at your wedding, too.

For us, it wasn't a budget issue as much as it was not trusting certain family members who often drink too much (if you catch my drift...). We have chosen the beer and wine package from 7-8pm for the pre-reception and from 8-11 of the reception. From 11- midnight, we're doing a based on consumption. Our reasoning is that a lot of the guests will have already left. When they do your budget, they estimate 1.5 drinks pp at this point. If you come out less, they will send you a refund check; come out more and they will bill you.

You can always close the bar down during dinner and do a based on consumption during those two hours...however, people may be less likely to drink and drink and drink when they must go to the bar and it's not being offered to them by waiters constantly.

 

[Mary626]

Here's what one of the beverage documents said about cash bars;


Cash Bars
• Cash bar pricing is available upon request.

Cashier Fees (required for all cash bars)
• $35.00 plus tax per hour, per cashier. Three-hour minimum
• One cashier per bar is recommended

Labor Charge
• A Labor Charge of $100 per bar will be applied for all Hosted and Package
Bars. This charge shall be waived should beverage sales exceed $500++
per bar.
• Additional bartenders can be requested for a service fee of $100 per
bartender.



I wouldn't mind paying for a few of people's drinks, but I wish they weren't charging 3.50 for bottled water and so on PLUS gratuity and tax. It comes out to like four dollars per drink, even for water. Ridiculous prices, but what can you do.. I'm going the "bill on consumption" route and am going to tell my immediate famliy to try not to drink anything lol!

 

[Mary626]

By the way, in the budgeting for "bill on consumption", you do prepay a little bit for some drinks, and will give you a refund if your guests don't drink to that price, or they charge you the amount you owe them.

For example, the most expensive item in my package is 5.75... So for budgeting purposes, they charge 1 drink per person at this price during pre-reception, and 2 drinks per person at this price during dinner.

So basically I am paying for three drinks per person before the wedding, and they will use my credit card and charge me at the end of the wedding for any amount I go over.

 

[cjb71870]

We had open bar at our rehearsal gathering at Epcot, our cocktail hour and reception. We live in FL.. Most of our geusts came from out of state. If they are going through all the traveling to get to your wedding, I think they should be treated very well.

 

[Janet2k]

Cash Bar - Open Bar??

Disneyheaven, it is ultimately your wedding. Please do what you and the folks who are helping to pay for your wedding can afford. There are many options in regards to this. You do not have to have a bar. You could have soft drinks and wine/champagne served. You could have soft drinks and beer/wine served. You could have soft drinks and an alcoholic punch served. You could have only soft drinks served. Please talk to your wedding planner and let him/her know of your monetary concerns in regards to beverages. You are not the first bride who has run into this situation, and you will not be the last one who does either. I have personally been to many weddings where there was (a) no alcohol, (b) free alcohol, and (c) alcohol that I had to pay for. I was there to celebrate the marriage of my loved ones. That was all that mattered in the long run.

I wish you many years of happiness. Enjoy this special time of planning your fairy tale wedding. It passes so quickly.

 

[Laurafoster]

Does anyone know the pricing for the differnt types - ie beer and wine bar/open bar?

Im going to have about 26 people - but 6 of those are kids and therefore unable to drink. Im just trying to work out an idea for which option is better for me?

If you have any info can you please PM me? TIA

 

[disneyheaven]

Helle Everyone,
Thanks for all your responses. Goodness, I guess I just didnt realize what bad ediqutte a cash bar is. Every wedding I have been to here in Massachusetts (and there have been quite a few) have been these wonderful affairs, with open bar for about an hour or two (which we might be doing) and then cash bar after that. But I can see that with a "destination wedding", things are different. People are paying a great deal to come down to our wedding. Its just with my parents paying close to $20,000 the extra couple thousand for "open bar" seems outragous. Thank you to Janket2K, your kind words helped a great deal. I might think about mabey just doing beer and wine. I just have a lot of people in my family who might get "carried away" with that. So mabey I will do the no alcohol option. Is there a penalty for not doing alcholol? Or, could I just do beer and wine?? My parents want to do the option of buying bottles of wine and have them hand passed during cocktail hour but I guess I will have to ask about that. Again, thanks for all your responses.

 

[allisonswonderland]

My fiancee's friends are heavy drinkers, like would easily drink a bottle of jack in an evening on their own (not my fiancee) so that is something that concerns me. While I agree that they guests are travelling, we have a minimum of $75 per guest for the reception and adding the alcohol how does that come put in the per person. I am like to get a lot of bang for my buck - ok I am cheap and will admit it, I am just annoyed by how rude guests are, by wanting to bring dates that I have never met or met only once and then on top of that people expect me and my family to pay for them to get drunk which is what my fiancees friends will do--- I am sorry I am moody today tired of everyone in his family giving me their opinions when I did not even ask for them. Sorry, I think it is your wedding and do whatever you want to do.

 

[twojo21]

yes, you can have an cash bar with disney if you choose. your em/sm could give you pricing on that so you can let your guests now in advance they need to bring $ for drinks. im personally againest cash bars, i think its rude to ask guests, especially ones who paid so much to be at your disney wedding, to pay for their drinks, etc. but for each their own. maybe just have soda & specialty drinks like lemonade, expresso, instead if you dont want alcohol or a high price tag, you dont have to have alcohol.

as for kids & under 21, you get a different rate. were having an open bar for our prereception & reception which is $36 per adult & $21 per child/under 21.

best of luck with your plans!

 

[allisonswonderland]

This is just really upsetting me. Are you all made of money? A disney wedding is quite an expense for me. I also think that there are special circumstances, if you are having a cash bar and do not offer "complimentary" water and tea, coffee with the dinner then yes that is bad, I am not sure that anyone expects guests to pay for the reception meal, but I just think that some of you who have just jumped out and said how rude you think a cash bar is should consider other people and situations that they may be faced with. Unfortunately people do not always have the perfect families. Having a cash bar for some of us would hopefully deter many guests from creating embarrassing situations because of too much. There are some who will attend my wedding who will be like me and have a drink or 2, and then others would abuse it and possibly create a mess, so do you just say no alcohol or what. I have appreciated your help and comments on this board but this post just rubbed me the wrong way. I would just like for you to consider situations and that we come from different backgrounds...you should never make a judgement about anyone or anything until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I am not trash and do not have trashy family/friends but some of them tend to overindulge and in an attempt to make my wedding a relaxing day with no major fiascos I think a cash bar may be the way to go!

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Hey-

We looked VERY seriously into a cash bar to help keep consumption by certain family members with that awful genetic predisposition at bay. It was a tough, tough call and I got chewed out and spit out on the Knot message boards for it. It took a lot of communication between both families (wedding is being paid for 50/50) and with the EM. We think we have found the right decision for us- and the bartender has been given the heads up. It's one of the HUGE reasons we're not even offering mixed drinks (which was another road block) becuase of certain family members.

She asked opinions and she's received them- it doesn't make them right or wrong, but rather the personal views of another person. You learn something from some and ignore others.

Money does play a huge role in any wedding; and I think an even greater one for doing it at Disney. But, it costs guests a lot as well. This is always a touchy subject and often causes huge debates. It comes down to a case-by-case basis and a decision that should be openly and thoughtfully discussed with the family members paying and your EM. In the end, make the right decision for you and your circumstances.

 

[Laurafoster]

This is just really upsetting me. Are you all made of money? A disney wedding is quite an expense for me. I also think that there are special circumstances, if you are having a cash bar and do not offer "complimentary" water and tea, coffee with the dinner then yes that is bad, I am not sure that anyone expects guests to pay for the reception meal, but I just think that some of you who have just jumped out and said how rude you think a cash bar is should consider other people and situations that they may be faced with. Unfortunately people do not always have the perfect families. Having a cash bar for some of us would hopefully deter many guests from creating embarrassing situations because of too much. There are some who will attend my wedding who will be like me and have a drink or 2, and then others would abuse it and possibly create a mess, so do you just say no alcohol or what. I have appreciated your help and comments on this board but this post just rubbed me the wrong way. I would just like for you to consider situations and that we come from different backgrounds...you should never make a judgement about anyone or anything until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I am not trash and do not have trashy family/friends but some of them tend to overindulge and in an attempt to make my wedding a relaxing day with no major fiascos I think a cash bar may be the way to go!

No one is judging her! She asked for other peoples opinions and thats what people gave! They were not being rude as they all said its their opinion!

 

[hmgolden]

Personally, I would never offer a cash bar - especially at a destination wedding. I liken it to asking family members to chip in to pay for a holiday dinner, its something I just wouldn't do. As a guest, I would rather see an alcohol free wedding, or wine/beer only rather than a cash bar. Offering a cash bar at a Disney wedding especially would be a total put off for me as a guest - I would have spent a good amount of money to get there and to stay there, and then to ask me to pay for a drink, personally, I think its rude.

 

[Mommy Poppins]

At our wedding ten years ago, we had a champagne toast and offerred beer and alcoholic punch. There was also a bar in another room at the officer's club where guests could go and purchase any mixed drink or other alcohol they wanted. Like some of you, I know my family and I wasn't paying for them to get drunk. Just my opinion--it worked for me. No one thought it was rude. The guests who bought extra alcohol didn't complain.

At our Disney vow renewal, we will have the champagne toast and hopefully more champagne on the Wishes cruise--other than that, they are on their own.

 

[Chrissie-riel]

Before I stayed home to raise my little Mouseketeers, I was a full time event planner. Let me tell you that it really, really low on the etiquette scale to have a cash bar. If for monetary or religious reasons you don't want to offer alcohol at your reception, that is perfectly fine. If your guests just have to have something alcoholic to drink, every resort in Disney has a lounge area that your guests could get their own drink at and bring back to your room.

For those brides that were money conscious when I was planning their events, I would always suggest a consumption bar and pay per drink. YES, there are those people who drink too much and raise the tab; however, those 75 yr old grandmothers typically have one glass of wine only which evens it out. Only offering beer and wine is perfectly acceptable also.

The hottest trend in party planning right now is offering a "Signature" drink. Offer sodas or juices and just one cocktail that can be pre-made in huge quantities and is easier to serve. Make it one of you or your fiance's favorite drinks or make it match your theme or color scheme. Put a sign up at the bar that "explains" your drink - make it fun!! For example, my BIL got married in August. They did a whole theme around their initials/monogram with a green theme. They put up a sign at the reception inviting everyone to enjoy the "m & t lime margaritas" There were no complaints about what was (or wasn't) served.

Good luck - and feel free to email me directly if you have other questions!!

 

[allisonswonderland]

She was asking if an open bar was an option, I did not see in the post where she said "do you all think this is rude?" or asked for anyone's opinion on an open bar. I think some of you have come up with wonderful ideas and other options esp. the signature drink. I just wish that you could see how this is dificult. This is all my parents, his parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and that is all. The way I am looking at this, everyone who is invited to my wedding is getting discounted room/tickets, being fed at the rehearsal dinner, fed at the Disney reception and then we are having another reception at home. All or most of his friends are lawyers and our guests are using this as a vacation and we are not forcing people to attend. We just have diiferent outlooks as a college instructor who teaches Diversity my mind has really been opened to many factors that face all kinds of people and I guess that I just have come to expect others to be able to step out of their own life and imagine living the life of another. I guess it ismy fault.

 

[Laurafoster]

We just have diiferent outlooks as a college instructor who teaches Diversity my mind has really been opened to many factors that face all kinds of people and I guess that I just have come to expect others to be able to step out of their own life and imagine living the life of another. I guess it ismy fault.[/QUOTE]



I think that is being a bit rude actually! you seem to be saying that anyone who doesnt agree with your side of it are being arrogant! You have your opinion and other people have theirs! Lifes to short to get all worked up about something so daft!