Cash bar for birthday party

[cijay]

Not enough information.

Is it a 'party'? Like, private room at a bar, take off your coat, mingle, have a fun poke at the 40yr old 'lordy lordy looks who's 40' kind of thing? Then the hosts should buy a drink. If it's a drop in thing, then I don't see anything wrong with your guests paying for their own drinks.

If you're going to do cash bar though there should be a 'no gifts please' stipulation. I would always put that on anything I invite people to anyway but especially one where they're going to pay for their own booze.

Community hall/banquet hall is different. From doing clean up at a lot of wedding/anniversary suppers, I pour out a lot of half-cups of booze. You can tell which had a cash bar by the amount of wasted booze. People get a drink and drink about half. Then they get up and mingle but don't take their drink, run into an old friend "oh George, let me get you a drink"...it's easier than going back to the table to get his own drink, right? If he PAID for that drink, you better believe he's not going to just let it sit there and get watered down.

It also keeps people from drinking too much if they're paying for it.

A lot of the things about a cash bar though, it's not about paying the liquor tab with it (many people donate the money to a charity) but controlling the waste.

A good compromise might be to give each guest one or two 'coupons' and after that they're on their own.

 

[wilkeliza]

So they fact it is at a sports bar is a little different then what I expected. No matter how "upscale" the place is it is still a sports bar. I would have thought a few beer pitchers but most of the time when I see a birthday party is at a bar I come expecting to pay for myself.

 

[nugov2]

To give a little more information it was a party room. It was only close friends (most had a spouse s/o there so that added quite a bit more guests ). My DH and his friends definitely have 20 people that they are in regular contact with. His friends from hs, college and after. Not one person at this party besides a spouse or s/o wasn't someone the guest of honor doesn't spend a lot of time with...or a much time as you can with 4 kids under 11. They play poker, fantasy sports together and meet up to hang out when they can. There were definitely different groups of friends there, but honestly all close enough that even as only being one of the good friends wife, I knew everyone there well from previous get togethers.

We stayed until 1am and the appetizers were served all evening, but I felt it was sufficient. I didn't go expecting dinner. I wouldn't have been offended if it was cash bar, but I thought it was appropriate to provide drinks. Just in having this discussion with all the 40th parties coming up, I was surprised how most thought it was nice, but not expected to pay for the drinks. I just figured I get the DIS perspective. I rarely pose questions like this, but was really curious of the consensus. I definitely agree that at the end of the day everyone need to do what works best for them.

I have never been to an adult birthday where no gifts wasn't on the invite. To me it is never about that, but just getting together to have fun. Of course we always bring a bottle of their favorite drink.

 

[aristocatz]

Okay, let me clarify....evite invitation so not super formal, upscale suburb sports bar, not posh downtown location. Closer friends, probably 40-50 people with s/o. We have been to both with open bar and without, I'm just wondering what the norm is.

If you are renting the place out for a private party, I would say you should supply/pay for the alcohol. If you are just meeting them at the bar for drinks, I would say guests should pay for their own alcohol. I've never been to a cash bar or open bar birthday party. But I have met friends at bars for drinks for their birthday & it was never expected that the person having the birthday should pay for everyone.