Cash bar for birthday party

[ronandannette]

I need an other option

For me it depends how it was worded. If I was invited to a party I wouldn't expect to pay for drinks. But if someone said "Do you want to get together for so & so's birthday at XXX Bar?". I would expect to pay for my own drinks.


I know that doesn't really make sense, but in my mind it does. LOL

This is exactly what you should do if you can't afford to pay for everything. People will either come or not come then but will absolutely expect to pay for themselves. Your trays of apps to share will just be a bonus. Don't word it as a party invitation and if you really want to have something more formal, find a place to do it where you can afford to provide the food and beverages; even modest ones.

 

[MickeySP]

I have never been to a birthday party outside of someone's home that was open bar, wedding maybe, birthday - no. So for me not tacky

 

[nugov2]

Okay, let me clarify....evite invitation so not super formal, upscale suburb sports bar, not posh downtown location. Closer friends, probably 40-50 people with s/o. We have been to both with open bar and without, I'm just wondering what the norm is.

 

[nugov2]

I need an other option

For me it depends how it was worded. If I was invited to a party I wouldn't expect to pay for drinks. But if someone said "Do you want to get together for so & so's birthday at XXX Bar?". I would expect to pay for my own drinks.



I know that doesn't really make sense, but in my mind it does. LOL

I agree with that. ...going out for someone's birthday is different than a party. My feeling is drinks should be provided. ..if I had a party at my house I'd provide drinks. Just have been discussing this issue recently and it seems like the feeling is a casual party it is not expected other than soda, water tea etc..not the same as a shower or wedding. I just like to poll for opinions from different perspectives, so thanks for the responses!

 

[powellrj]

I didn't vote because I need other. Most of the things I have been to only offer soft drinks at parties, so I can see it going either way.

 

[mjkacmom]

I didn't vote because I need other. Most of the things I have been to only offer soft drinks at parties, so I can see it going either way.

I've never been to a gathering without alcohol being offered (people even byob to church family bingo).

 

[powellrj]

I don't want to pull the regional thing, so I will say its a denominational thing. They would never allow alcohol at a church function here. Most of the churches around here are evangelical so I think that really plays into it.

 

[lovin'fl]

We went to a fancy dinner for a friend's 40th and DH and I paid our own tab for food and drinks. It was about 18 people. I didn't mind. I'd pay cash bar. Some weddings are and some aren't. No biggie.

 

[puffkin]

I would choose Other if that is an option.

I think it is very tacky to not provide any drinks. I don't think it is necessary to provide a full bar. I would try to provide beer, wine and soda and then do cash bar for everything else. That's actually very common around here for weddings and it works great.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Okay, let me clarify....evite invitation so not super formal, upscale suburb sports bar, not posh downtown location. Closer friends, probably 40-50 people with s/o. We have been to both with open bar and without, I'm just wondering what the norm is.

I would at least offer wine and draft beer. Bottled beer or cocktails are cash bar.

 

[AppleDumpling]

OP, who is the party for? Regardless of how formal/informal it is, I do think it's kind of tacky to throw a party for yourself or your spouse and expect others to pay. Especially since they may also bring birthday gifts for the guest of honor. Not something I'd ever do.

If it's for a friend and the guests understand the gathering is an informal get-together (apps only as you describe, so presumably no meal), then I think you're ok to let everyone pay their own bar bill, or maybe some guests will take turns " buying a round".

 

[eliza61]

Another don't do it. not a fan of inviting guest then charging them.

 

[nugov2]

OP, who is the party for? Regardless of how formal/informal it is, I do think it's kind of tacky to throw a party for yourself or your spouse and expect others to pay. Especially since they may also bring birthday gifts for the guest of honor. Not something I'd ever do.

If it's for a friend and the guests understand the gathering is an informal get-together (apps only as you describe, so presumably no meal), then I think you're ok to let everyone pay their own bar bill, or maybe some guests will take turns " buying a round".

It was a party we just went to for a friend of ours 40th (thrown by his wife, request of no gifts...but we brought a gift of a bottle of his favorite whiskey ) and they did provide drinks, but there was a discussion about it after. My DH felt it was unnecessary to provide alcohol and I disagreed. It then came up a different time and I was in the minority in my view, which shocks me because everyone felt a shower or a wedding was different than a 40th party with just friends at a nice bar. That providing food was more than enough and everyone just likes having a reason to get together. I was just curious on others viewpoints on this.

 

[rigs32]

But it was only apps, not even dinner!

 

[lovin'fl]

Also went to a birthday party, recently but I forgot about this, at Dave and Busters where there was a food buffet set up (appetizer type stuff). We paid our own bar tab but the birthday boy's GF paid for the food. It was a surprise party for a 40-something and was only food (no games or pool or bowling or whatnot).

 

[nugov2]

But it was only apps, not even dinner!

It started at 8 and was at a bar, I don't see an issue with a party that serves only heavy appetizers.

 

[alicat8]

If I'm going out to celebrate a friend's birthday, I expect to pay for myself. And chip in for the birthday boy/girl, so I see no problem with it. I'd never go to a party at a bar and expect my food or drinks to be paid for. If it was, great, but not expected

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Bottom line here is how do you WANT to throw this party? Do what you are comfortable with.

 

[littleblackegg]

I think a cash bar would be OK for some sort of party for work, but a party with friends and family seems intimate and really personal. I'd cut back on something else and go beer and wine for the event.

 

[LJSquishy]

I wouldn't call 40-50 people all "close friends". That's a very large gathering and with that many people, I would expect that drinks/food be provided. My husband and I attended a 30th birthday party for one of his former coworkers (coworkers at the time) at a casino and she rented a reception room and had the casino provide a buffet-style "dinner" for the guests. It was essentially just tacos and no sides that I recall but it was food nonetheless. Drinks were not provided which was ultimately fine, but I sort of expected each guest to receive 1-2 drink tickets and think it would have been most appropriate to do so. Then again, I don't like spending money to attend someone else's party in which they invited me, especially if we're already bringing a gift.

If the group were 5-10 actual close friends just getting together at a bar, sure, everyone can pay for their own drinks...but an organized gathering of 40-50 people calls for providing food and/or beverages (I say food because if it's a gathering of more than an hour I think food of some sort should be provided).