cant some ppl just shut up (allBetter now)

[carmel]

Hey, my world turned on a dime when the lump on my husband's throat was not the infected gland the doc originally thought but part of a cancerous tumor that sat on his heart. After watching him go through 6mos of chemo and 3mos of radiation, I say do what makes you happy. Sure, we need new siding and our kitchen could really stand some sprucing up but the week we are going to spend together making memories is priceless. You can't put a $$ amount on happy memories.

 

[luvsmickey1968]

Carmel, you have put it so well and I really feel for you and your family because that is such a hard thing to go through!
You just never know what is going to happen in your life so you have to listen to your heart!
My mother in law was going to go with us to Disneyland last October and it was to be her first trip ever!
Unfortunately, she passed away unexpectantly and never did make it!
Disneyland is about making memories with the people you love and isn't that what life is all about!
Who thinks about what there kitchen looked like when they are little? Almost of all of us, though, remember the times we spent together as a family having fun!
We took both of our children before they were three and so many people said the same thing, "But they won't remember it!"
My reply was that it doesn't matter if they remember it, just that they enjoy themselves!
Not to mention, that I will remember it!
My in-laws don't understand why we spend money on vacations when we could have something that we could keep!
Don't they realize that it is not what you received for your birthday/Christmas when you were 7 or 8 that you remember, it is how you celebrated!
When we are remembering all the good times we had in Disneyland with our loved ones, the critics can remember how great their new "whatevers" looked!

 

[JadeDarkstar]

Carmel, im so sorry my dad died of cancer after i took care of him for 7 years.
THAT is excatly why i do what i do with HIS money, becosue after everything i went though with that. MY dad would want me to make many many memories with my son, and I always fill so bad that his real dad dosent do half the things i think a dad should. Capt bane has made up for alot of that tho.

 

[JadeDarkstar]

oh wow im so sorry about your mother in law thats sad, and I took my son with his real dad when he was a year and half almost two. but he loved it. he loved aroura and she spent so much time with him mad ehim fill like the most special baby around it was so cute.

 

[Gisele]

Ah, now, that is very nice and cute, Jade!

 

[dalepool]

You mentioned you are on SSI. You may want to call your atty to see if you have to report your gift from your father to Social Security. You also know you should be getting income from ssi for your son even if his father pays child support.

I am not going to give you advice on what I think you should do -- For Heavens sake I would go to disney if I had to stave for 2 weeks. Would it be the right thing to do probably not. It is so easy to do the fun things. Doing the hard things like saving money to pay bills or have some money for emergency well that is the hard thing. Why would you take over payments on a house that is 4 hours from where you really want to live? I would make a plan and if Disney makes me so happy maybe your BF can get a job near or even at Disneyland. Use the Trip to Disney as a job search to-- spend 2 days of a 6 day trip filling out applications for work in or near anaheim. Make sure the rent and utilities would be workable to. Not sure how anyone can get upset with you if you use the money to look for employment.

As a parent I know we want our kids to do fun things but we also want to make sure they have funds for everday expenses food. shelter, so on. If you really take time to think about what your dad would have wanted I bet he would have loved you going and making memories but maybe later after you were financially secure.

Once you have committed to going or saving for a future trip do it with gusto. I know of a family that saved for 4 years to take the kids on a trip. Everyone saved and was so excited to plan for trip. Even "Us" neighbors. we were not envious of the trip we were envious of the fun they had saving and the commitment the family had made to take a great trip --

I do not want to be a downer. Nor do I want to lecture anyone on how to spend their money. I jsut hope I have given you some tools to think out how to do the right thing

Please write a trip report if it is 2 months or 2 years away.

Patty

 

[JadeDarkstar]

well for one yes ssi knows about my dads money its yearly till 2021. he was in the military.
I make sure my bills are paid and my monthly bills are paid and foods no problem and stuff.
and if you saw my other posts we do have a job opertunity around disney but it could be a few months we dont know anything about it for now.
We would take over payments here becosue its cheap compaired to apartments and houses and this place is secure and not a heck of alot bad things right here (sure maybe the kids across the street stoll from my son after he had tryed to be nice to them..but hay what ever that happened so much to me.
If we had to stay here it isnt to bad it cost 250 to get to DL on bus and to me thats not to bad at all.
next year we are saveing this year im going in oct and trying my hardest to go in dec. that way next dec im not tempted to go. LOL (who am I kidding) :lol:
and no my dad told me when i was ounger this was so i could have fun once a year unlike we were able to do diering his fight with cancer 7-14) I also am so fear full some time my son may have to take care me that way. im despret to make it to his 7th bday with out any problems.) (thats some of my parinoia talking there)

i know what its like to live everyday wondering if some ones dead who you love and care about..then I had a fight with my dad went to my moms never apoligized, then had a fight with a ex friend of my moms who went to my dad and bad talked me like calling me umm i cant say those words here i might get another warrning. but then i didnt go see my dad i didnt go take care of what i should of, next morrning we went there to borrow his car we were going to a christmas church thing. and my brother tells me dad died.
Thats when i fell and hit my head. forgetting things that i regreat forgetting (reason i suck at spelling and get offincve when ppl put me down about it) SSI knows everything im saying now. including my dads money.

(sorry to get alittle off subject but I know my dad would rather i do something fun make these memories and spend time with my son and family for you never know what the next day holds)

 

[JadeDarkstar]

oh and i have asked about my son on ssi i was told this ssi dosent work that way. once im divorced tho i can get 200 more then i am now)

 

[Gisele]

I don't know about AZ. however, in Ca. you can get a divorce, pretty fast, it may be faster, elsewhere, though,perhaps there is a divorce attorney, that posts here, that could fill that information in, as it were.
The sooner that you can get the divorce, the better for you and your son.
$200.00 more per month, is definitely better, then less.
Don't worry about your spelling,that is something that we all have to work on, and there is spell check, I use it often, just to make sure, I did not misspell anything.
Also, remember, there will always be people, that will try to pee on your parade! to that I say, I know the difference between rain, and the other,so don't make me think that it is rain, when I know better. I hope that made sense, anyway, if not, I can clarify.

 

[CrazyDuck]

My spelling really sucks... I think I try and type too fast. What I did was install google toolbar and there is a little green check mark labeled "Check" and it will automagicly check your spelling before you hit the submit button and mark everything spelled incorrectly red. Then you can click on the misspelled word and it gives you suggestions on possible correct spellings! It's pretty nifty!

 

[Gisele]

You can download as well, the spell check tool, that is in the upper right hand corner on the posting box.

 

[Wavy Blue]

Everyone responds to problems differently, but I hardly think its appropriate to blame your problems on your past. I've had dire situations in my life that rank up to the caliber of your problems, and yet, but instead of constantly think about them and letting them rule my life I grew from them and let them make me strong. I won't go into it here, because I don't think that'd be appropriate, but honestly, I owe a lot of how good my life is today (even things are still EXTREMELY rough) by the growth I experienced from my challenges.

And I'm gonna have to agree with what dalepool said--saving money is VERY important. Don't give up what you have for what you want at the moment. Save it for what you're going to need in the long run.

And I hope I don't sound rude, because I'm really not trying to be. I just don't think it's appropriate for anyone to blame their current problems on their past. A wise friend taught me that, and he was right.

 

[JadeDarkstar]

lol oh i could use spell check and i do sometimes but hay lol.
Well we have a divorce planed when my ex gets half the money for it we have planed in sep or after our trip. but its all good crazyduck im always gona call you Sy lol and ty i never care about ppls spelling becosue i know mines bad but at least im not alone

 

[JadeDarkstar]

I just don't think it's appropriate for anyone to blame their current problems on their past.

oh i dont i know that if everything had stayed the way some things were nothing i have now would be good. i have grown alot and changed alot becosue of my past. what i say here is not half of what happened. But everything thats happened in my life i have learned from and grew from.

 

[DoomBugger]

Every time I scroll down and read this thread title for about a half second I think it says 'shut the F up'.

 

[JadeDarkstar]

lol me to i actely was gona say it lol but hay idk how to change titles but im sure it could be done. tho ty all you have all made me fill much better

 

[CrazyDuck]

lol me to i actely was gona say it lol but hay idk how to change titles but im sure it could be done. tho ty all you have all made me fill much better

Go to post #1... then click the (edit) button then click the (go advanced) button. Edit and save!

 

[JadeDarkstar]

ty

 

[dalepool]

At the end of the day sounds like you are doing as your father wished. I guess I did not see you were still married yes that does make the child credit work different. No matter It will all work out. Christmas time is so so pretty at disneyland and WDW. The only thing is DL is a bit cold at night but they make a great cup of hot cocoa to cure that. Patty

 

[Gisele]

Mm mm, yum, I may have to try that Hot chocolate, especially if it is made with real milk, and whipped cream!